Deccan (Springfield Sinners #1)

31. Chapter Twenty-Nine

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

ECHO

N umb.

That was all Echo felt as she woke up the next morning. She cried her heart out in Daddy’s arms after their conversation, overwhelmed by all the emotions and information she had gotten yesterday.

Was it smart of her to ask those questions yesterday? Was it smart of her to push Daddy into telling her?

No, it wasn't.

But she needed to prove to Daddy that she was strong enough to be his life partner. And if that meant being numb when things got difficult, then that was what she was going to do.

“Good morning, Little Bit,” Daddy said as he entered the room. “Did you sleep well?”

She shook her head. She had been tossing and turning for hours until Daddy had wrapped his arms around her again. Echo hadn’t wanted to fall asleep last night to avoid having a nightmare. How long would she be able to do that for? Probably not long, which was why she was going to go downstairs and see if Doc was still at the clubhouse.

He had to have something she could take to sleep without having nightmares.

Even though Echo didn’t want to take anything, she had been weighing up her options all morning. No sleep and turn crazy, or ask for some pills to help her not have nightmares.

It was a no-brainer.

Echo needed to be strong for Daddy. Last night had been a show of weakness, and she couldn’t allow that to happen again.

“Me too, Little Bit. But that’s okay. It’ll get better,” he gently spoke. “Are you ready for some breakfast?”

She wasn’t hungry but knew it was part of her safety and healthy rule. Three meals a day to make sure she was fueling her body.

“Want Daddy to carry you downstairs, or do you want to eat in here today?”

All she wanted was to eat in their room, away from prying eyes, but she needed to show his men she was strong. Especially after she had been carried in the day before.

Echo got up from the bed and walked to the door where he was standing. She took hold of his hand, and walked out, Daddy took charge as they the main room. Chatter died, all eyes on her, but she clenched her jaw and kept her head up when all she wanted to do was duck and cry.

“I made you a plate, girly.” Xavier smiled, placing a plate full of cute animal pancakes in front of her.

She gave him a wobbly smile, sat down, and started to eat. She knew she needed to be tough and strong in front of the men, but she also needed something cute to get her through.

These pancakes were definitely it.

“What do you say, Little Bit?” Daddy asked.

“It’s okay, she gave me a smile,” Xavier said. “That is thanks enough.”

Echo swallowed the bite she had in her mouth and looked at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, girly. Let me know if you need any more. I’ll gladly make them,” he said before walking off.

The room had begun to talk again, but it was much quieter. Part of her was thankful because it didn’t overwhelm her. However, the other part felt bad because they were changing for her. They shouldn’t have to. They were here long before she was.

“You doing okay, Little Bit?” Daddy asked.

She nodded and took another mouthful of pancakes. They were to die for.

“Are you okay here for a second while I talk to Xavier, or do you need me here?”

Echo looked up and around the room. She didn’t know anyone. Well, besides Levi, who choked her, and Doc, who had looked over her twice now. But she needed to talk to Doc without Daddy around. He couldn’t know she was going to ask for medicine.

“I’ll be okay,” she whispered, finishing her pancakes.

Doc and she made eye contact, and he smiled.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded and pointed to the chair at the bar. “I’ll sit there.”

“Ask Gears for a coloring book and markers if you want. He has them behind the bar for Littles.”

“Okay.”

But she had no intention of asking for the coloring books, no matter how much she wanted them. What would his men think if she started to color in front of them? She was just going to have to color whenever she was in their room where no one could see her.

It hurt to think about, but no weakness. They might think she was weak just from her sitting at the bar and coloring.

Echo got up, the whole room quieting once again. She could feel their eyes on her as she walked to the bar. Was it going to be like this every single time she walked into a room or moved? Echo hoped not. She didn’t know if she could take it.

“Can I get you anything?” a man behind the bar asked. “I’m Gears, by the way.”

He held out his hand and she stared at it before looking up at Gears’ face. Did he not know she didn’t touch people? Had Daddy not told them?

“She doesn’t like to be touched,” Levi said from across the room.

She flinched and looked down before she could see Gear’s reaction.

“Echo,” she mumbled. “Just water, please.”

She wanted to ask for chocolate milk but figured they didn’t have that behind the bar. What she did know was they had water—plain nasty water.

“Do you want apple juice or milk?” Gears asked.

Her eyes lit up, but she shook her head. “Just water.”

“Are you sure? We have plenty of juice and milk, even chocolate and strawberry milk.”

She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. “I’m sure. Water, please.”

Echo twiddled her thumb as Gears placed the water in front of her. Now, she actually had to drink some of the water.

Which was a crime .

Water should be illegal to drink on its own.

“How are you holding up?” Doc asked as he sat beside her, making sure not to get too close.

She was grateful he remembered.

“Okay,” she replied.

Act strong. Fake it till you make it, she kept telling herself. If she faked it long enough, she could do it like she was doing it for real. Or so she told herself. Echo had never faked anything for a long time.

“Yeah?” Doc asked.

She sighed. Nerves were racing through her as she took a few seconds to breathe. She needed to ask him for medication, but she was worried. What if he told Daddy? What would Daddy think? Would he be disappointed and not want anything to do with her?

“Echo?” Doc gently said her name.

“Can I ask something and you not tell Daddy?” she blurted out.

Way to just word vomit it. Had anyone else heard? Were they going to tell on her? She sucked in a breath and held it for several seconds.

“Depends on what it is,” Doc replied. “But your Daddy should know.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” she mumbled to herself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

She took a sip of her water and scrunched up her nose. Yep, it still tasted like nothing, and it was absolutely horrible.

“What do you need?” Doc asked.

“Sleeping pills.” Echo looked at Doc.

He blinked several times as he searched her face. For what, she didn’t know. But he took his time.

“Not sleeping?” he asked.

She nodded. “Haven’t for a little while.”

“And I’m assuming your Daddy doesn't know you want these sleeping pills.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I would like to keep it that way.”

“Why?”

That was a loaded question. She didn’t exactly want to answer him because then she would be admitting what her thoughts were. That wasn’t something she needed to do. Especially when she was trying to be strong and prove that she could be a good partner for Daddy.

“Why, Echo?” Doc asked again, this time using her name.

“Cause I want to be able to sleep.”

“That wasn’t my question and you know it.”

She sighed. “Because I don’t want him to know. He doesn’t need to know I need help sleeping.”

Though he probably already knew. She had gotten nightmares before she the second attack. He had woken up every single time, holding her against him as he calmed her. But she wanted it to stop, needed it to stop.

“Echo.”

“I don’t want to bother him, okay? I just want to be able to sleep. Let both of us sleep,” she mumbled toward the end.

“Does he know you feel like this?”

“Can you stop asking questions? What does this have to do with sleeping pills?”

Echo was becoming agitated. She was exhausted, scared out of her mind, trying to put on a front, and he was getting on her nerves. Her very short nerves.

“Please, I just want the medicine so I can sleep and not wake up until morning,” she whispered.

She figured he already knew about the nightmares, so she didn’t need to say it was for them. Why else would she ask for sleeping pills after something traumatic?

“You know sleeping pills probably won’t keep them away,” Doc gently explained.

“Do you have something stronger then? Something that will?”

Echo was desperate. It had only been one night of no sleep, and she didn’t want it to affect Daddy. She didn’t want him to have to suffer anymore. And she didn’t want him to tell people she was having trouble sleeping and being weak.

Nope.

She was going to get ahead of this.

“Echo.”

“Can you stop saying my name like that? Makes me feel like I’m in trouble,” she grumbled and then sighed. “Sorry, I just want to show him I can be strong and sleep through the night. Show him—and his men—that I can be strong, something he needs.”

Her eyes went wide as she said those words. She hadn’t meant to say them.

“Forget I said that last bit,” she blurted. “I just need medicine that will help me sleep through the night and not have nightmares.”

“I don’t know if there is anything like that,” he honestly said. “And we will need to talk about that last part.”

“Nope, we don’t, and we aren’t going to,” she stated as she looked at him. “Do you have any sleeping pills that will knock me out until morning and I won’t wake up even if I have a nightmare?”

If she had to suffer every night being in her own nightmare, then she was going to. Would it take a toll on her mental health if she couldn’t wake up from a nightmare? Absolutely, but she was going to prove to Daddy that she was strong.

“Promise me you won’t tell Daddy what I just said.” She held out her pinky.

Doc raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “Thought you didn't like to be touched.”

“I don’t, but pinky promises are sacred,” she replied. “I need you to pinky promise that you won’t tell Daddy about what I said or any of this.”

An uneasy look flew across his face.

“Pinky promise.”

“I don’t like this.”

“You don’t have to like it. Just pinky promise.”

“I’ll pinky promise I won’t tell him about any of this, but you will be talking to me about it. That is the only way I’ll agree to it.”

Echo blinked and took his words in. She didn’t want to talk about it at all .

“I don’t even like the deal I proposed, but it's better than not saying anything.”

She didn’t know about that.

“Echo, that is the only way I will even remotely think about pinky promising.”

Looking over in Daddy’s direction, she took a deep breath.

“You won’t tell anyone?” she whispered. “Anything about what we just talked about and what we will talk about?”

“Won’t tell a soul unless it is harming your health. Then I will tell your Daddy.”

Echo couldn’t believe she was even considering this. Should she say yes? Returning her gaze to Daddy, she sucked in a breath. She needed not to worry Daddy anymore.

“Can I get her a chocolate milk?” Doc asked Gears.

“Coming right up.”

She looked at Doc. “I don’t need chocolate milk. Water is fine.”

“While water is good for you, sometimes you need something you like after going through something hard. Reward yourself. You’re okay to drink chocolate milk.”

Gears placed a cup with a straw in it in front of her, and she looked at the chocolate milk. It looked so good that her mouth started to water.

“Go ahead and drink,” Doc encouraged her.

She took several sips from the straw and relaxed in her seat. Yeah, she really needed that.

“So, what do you say?” Doc asked as she took another sip of her chocolate milk.

“Say to what?”a voice said behind her.

Echo choked, sending milk everywhere.