Chapter Seventeen
The Care and Maintenance of Damaged People:
A Dog’s Guide to Rescued Humans
Brody
It was hot as balls outside. Texas in July was miserable, I didn’t give a shit what anyone said. I’d lived here my whole life and I barely tolerated it. With training camp a week away, Hayes and I had only one pet shop left on our list in the immediate vicinity. We could always widen the circle later if we needed to. We both had our roles down pat, but each one of these shops made my stomach roll now that I knew where the puppies came from.
Hayes pulled the door open, a bell dinging overhead. We walked past the toys and birds in their cages, through damp air heavy with the smell of newspaper and urine. Guinea pigs darted away from their glass as we walked by while ferrets slept in an aquarium that needed to be cleaned. Hayes nodded toward the rows of kennels against at the back. A glass wall separated them from the rest of the shop.
All Puppies 20% Off was scrawled on the glass in brightly colored window paint . There must have been forty kennels total. Only a few were empty awaiting their next tenant. Some puppies slept curled in balls on top of wadded up blankets while others walked gingerly over their grated kennel floor, waste pans below them for easy cleaning. A few barked incessantly. A few had toys. Most didn’t. Several kennels had sale signs clipped to the front: Rare Lilac Merle French Bulldog, $4800 For a Limited Time.
He was older than some of the other pups.
Another read American Staffordshire Terrier On Sale! $2000 . He was older, too, and crammed in a kennel he could barely stand up in. Then there were the younger ones. The ones that were barely old enough to be weaned.
My teeth ground together as I took in the Bull Terriers and Pit Bulls. A Dogo Argentino and South African Boerboel. Bulldogs. Boxers. Boston Terriers. Doodles of all kinds. Each place we’d been to in the past couple of weeks had some version of this set up.
Each time, I had to fight the urge to slap a card on the counter and buy every dog here. Or beat the holy hell out of whoever owned the place.
But that defeated the purpose. Buying the dogs here would only line their pockets and perpetuate the cycle. Lily taught me the only way to put a stop to the mills was to stop making it profitable.
Stop buying.
Hayes nudged my shoulder, nodded at a Basset Hound pup who kept circling his kennel trying to find a place to lie somewhere other than on the exposed bars. When he turned to me, I knew he was having a moment. He wanted to take the pain away but knew why he shouldn’t, too.
“Hiya, see a pup you’re interested in?” The dude was short and a little round, he wore a blue shirt with the pet store’s name embroidered on the pocket. “We’ve got visiting rooms back here, you can spend some time with one of them if you like.” He sat the rabbit he was carrying into a glass habitat filled with bedding and three other rabbits.
I affixed my fake smile. “Possibly.”
His face went slack, eyes like silver dollars. We’d seen this in several of the places we’d been to, but the awe factor hadn’t gotten us the information we needed.
“Good God Almighty. You’re number fifty-eight!”
“I am,” I said affably. “This is my teammate, Hayes Walker.” I nodded to the man next to me, who wasn’t smiling. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and tipped his chin. I knew that look. If Hayes spoke, he was going to go batshit on the guy.
“We were checking out the pups. Got lots of bully breeds,” I said, gesturing to the kennels.
The guy rushed forward, sticking out his hand. I only shook it because I didn’t have a choice. “It’s an honor to meet you two!” One look at Hayes, and the dude thought better of offering his hand to him.
“I’m a huge Dallas Bulldogs fan. I’m the Bulldogs’ biggest fan.” Hands settling on his hips, his smile was wide and genuine.
We could use this. “Well then, it’s an honor to meet you...” His nametag said Randall with Sales Manager printed underneath. “... Randall. So, lots of bully breeds, huh?”
“Yeah, is that what you’re after? We’ve got some rare breeds, too. Lots of folks wanting bullies around here. That, and the doodles, and anything that says, ‘Teacup’. Are you looking for something unusual? Did you see the Lilac Frenchy? They’re going for eight large in L.A. Maybe a bulldog for the Bulldog?”
Hayes grunted again, turned back to watch the Basset Hound puppy circling.
“Oh, he’s beautiful for sure. Why’s he on sale?”
Randall’s mouth screwed up. “Eh, he’s almost four months old. But his parents were AKC champions.”
My bullshit meter went on high alert. Sure, they were. “Actually, I was hoping to find Cane Corsos.” I deliberately didn’t use the correct plural.
Randall’s mouth formed a little O. “You wanting to breed your dog?”
He’d seen the news. “No, not her. I put her down after that, but I have some property north of here and I’d like to have a breeding pair.”
“What’d you want to breed for? Just for you or are you selling? Maybe you had something else in mind?”
I put on my biggest, friendliest aww shucks smile, thickening my accent. “Well, now. That there’s my business.”
He chuckled, probably thinking it was for fighting. “True enough.”
“You wouldn’t have any breeder names, would you? Maybe of somebody willing to sell off some of their breeding stock? Not that the pups aren’t cute, but I’d like to get started sooner rather than later.”
“Hmm.” His mouth pulled tight as he studied me and Hayes. “Don’t generally do that here. Could get me in trouble with the owner.”
“Tell you what, Randall? Let’s do this. I’ve got a couple of footballs in the truck Hayes and I could sign for you. The owner would never have to know.”
He was tempted, but I could see the hesitance. “I don’t know, man. That could get me fired. I’m supposed to be selling the dogs we got here, but we won’t be getting any Canes in for a while. What about a Pit, instead?”
He glanced at Hayes, who was watching the Basset Hound. I could feel the menace rolling off the tight end.
I shook my head, leaned in. “A Pit won’t do. They have to be Corsos.” Rubbing a hand over my beard, I pretended to think. “What if I threw in a couple tickets to the home opener for you and the missus?”
He paused a beat. “Would those be fifty-yard line, ya think?”
“I can probably arrange that.” I put on my Southern boy grin.
“I don’t know...” He brushed the back of his head.
Hayes blew out a breath. “How much for the hound?”
I sent the tight end a quick warning glance.
Jaw tightening, he ignored me.
“She’s $1600. I’d come down to $1400 for a Bulldogs player.” Randall winked.
“If I take her, and we give you the signed balls?” Hayes got a little too close for the dude’s comfort, crowding him with his size.
The manager took a step back. “A—and the tickets?”
“And the tickets,” I returned, wearing a smile that made me want to throw up my lunch. This is exactly what Lily said not to do. She was going to have our nuts for this.
After scrolling through the phone, I found the team’s PR department while Hayes whipped off cash for the dog. Two signed balls later, and a set of fifty-yard-line tickets at the will-call, and we had a name—Andrew Brower—and a phone number.
“Lily’s gonna kick our asses for that. What were you thinking, man? And what the hell are you going to do with a dog?” The squirming pup was currently licking at Hayes’s chin while we walked back to my truck.
“He wasn’t going to give it up unless we bought a dog. And I couldn’t watch this one circle that cage a minute longer, could I?” He nuzzled the puppy’s head. “No, I couldn’t, sweet pea. Not one damn minute. My sister and her boyfriend have been thinking about a dog. Now they have one.”
I shook my head.
Hayes slapped his free hand on my shoulder. “I know. I know what I just did. But, the greater good, Shaw.” He smiled. “We’ve got a lead.”
We sure as hell did.
I could only hope Lily saw the greater good, too.
I pulled into a parking space at the Unruly Dog and left Hayes in the retail shop for everyone to fawn over the baby basset. He’d called to tell his sister and luckily, she’d been ecstatic. She was going to drive down this weekend to pick the dog up.
I pecked on the office door.
“Come in,” came Lily’s voice.
She glanced up from her desk and the butterflies in my stomach stirred. Actually, it felt more like a hornet’s nest in there. As much as I wanted to tell her what we’d found, I dreaded telling her how we got it. Plus, we hadn’t really been alone since the night at the rental house. We only made polite conversation at the center or if we needed to discuss the pet shops, but we never talked about what happened in my truck. It was driving me batshit. I wanted her so bad, and I knew she wanted me, too.
“Hey, good classes today?”
Her smile gave me a twinge in my chest. “Yeah, my favorite novice level agility class is today. They’re a lot of fun.”
“I’ll have to stop and watch that one.” Gently, I closed the door behind me.
“What’s up? Did you start a new class today?”
I ran a hand over my scruff. “No, we’re finishing up Intro to Agility on Tuesday, but with camp starting, the next class will have to wait until I get back. I think we can get through all the Agility Fundamentals classes before playoffs. Which means I should be able to keep up with the Tuesday night schedule and move CC into novice before the playoffs. I might have to make up a class here or there if the team is traveling.”
Lil nodded. Put down the folder she was holding. “Rob said CC is doing well. That her confidence is really coming along, and the class is too slow paced for her. You know you can take private lessons to speed up her training. Plus, it would probably fit your schedule better.”
It took sheer force of will not to roll into the flirty banter and suggestive grin that came so easily around Lily, but she was the one who pumped the brakes. I respected that, even if it was based on her misconceptions. She obviously wasn’t comfortable with trusting me.
It didn’t mean I didn’t want her anyway.
We’d been doing a decent job not breaking the unspoken rule, but it took constant vigilance for me to pretend there was nothing between us.
I missed her. Her friendship, her sense of humor. Her lips. I blew out a heavy breath, trying to get a grip. This was what she wanted. For us to keep our distance. Wasn’t it?
She leaned her ass against the lip of the desk. “What’s up? Hey, did you find someone to watch CC for camp? I can keep her if you need me to.”
I thought about it. Lily was the perfect option. “I’d owe you one. I really don’t want to board her yet. My sister took one look at the slobber on my walls and started making excuses. I even thought about asking my neighbors—they’d do it—but she’d have someone to play with at your house.”
“Sure, it’s no problem. Her and Mack will have a blast. I’ll be able to keep up her training, too. Was that what you needed?”
I need you. “No, Hayes and I caught a break today.”
“No!” Mouth dropping open, she jumped up and swatted my chest. “Why didn’t you lead with that! Tell me.”
I couldn’t help grinning at her enthusiasm. “The pet shop over by the mall had a lot of bullies for sale. The owner wasn’t there, and the manager was a fan. It took a couple of signed balls and game tickets, but we got a name and phone number.”
“Ohmygod, Brody!” Jumping up, she did a little booty shimmy that I wished I’d been behind her to see. “This is fantastic. I am so stoked! Finally, a break.” Swinging her arms around my neck, she squeezed as she bounced on her toes. “You’re amazing, Brody Shaw. Thank you.”
Fuck. She was rubbing her body against me. A desperate groan slipped from my throat, and she realized what she was doing, because she stopped with the bouncing, but she didn’t let go of me. Instead, she turned her face into my chest.
Pressing my palms to her back, I didn’t let go either. The last thing I ever wanted to do was let her go.
“Brody...” Her voice was strained, her cheeks flushed. A question hung on the warm breath between us. It would have been so easy to close that distance and sink into her kiss. I could feel her heart racing against my sternum. The almost imperceptible tilt of her head as her eyes questioned.
“Son of a bitch. Friends, my ass.” A person only had so much willpower in a given day. Today, I’d visited three pet stores and resisted buying approximately one hundred twenty cute little puppies. I had none left. I moved her backwards and Lily’s butt hit the desk, scattering papers to the floor.
What was between us was beyond chemistry. It was the chemical reaction, a connection of particles realigned to create a new organism. For the first time, I understood down deep that being with Lily Costello was worth losing my job. But was she worth losing my heart?
I stepped back, letting my arms fall away.
Chemical reactions could have catastrophic results. They burned out buildings and razed cities to the ground. I didn’t know if I could handle that.
“Lil, I gotta tell you something.”
“Oh?”
Just do it, you pussy! My attention wandered to a piece of paper we’d pushed to the floor. It was time I came clean. “The manager at that pet shop...he wasn’t going to give us the info unless we made it worth his while.”
“Yeah, you said. Tickets. Balls.”
“Not just tickets and footballs. Hayes bought a puppy. He’s giving it to his sister,” I added to soften the blow.
Her mouth fell open. “Brody—”
I held a hand up. “He wasn’t going to give us the info unless we bought a dog.” I told her what had happened, expecting her to rain fire down on me. We’d supported the mills we were trying to stop. If Hayes hadn’t bought a dog, I would have. We needed the info, and all those pups curled on themselves... CC would have had a sibling.
Only, Hayes broke first.
Lily’s expression turned warm and inviting, as she settled a hand against my chest. “Brody, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not. But it is. I get it.” She patted my chest, started to pull away. Gently, I circled her wrist, brought her hand back to my chest.
“I’m sorry.” I poured my sincerity into those words.
A soft smile graced her lovely face. When she hugged me this time, it was in comfort. I dropped my chin on her shoulder. “If Hayes hadn’t have done it, I would have.”
She whispered next to my ear. “I know, big guy. It’s okay. Hard on the outside, marshmallows in the center.”
The door behind me swung open. “Hey, Lil—whoops.”
Slowly, she pulled her arms from my shoulders and I stepped to the side.
I didn’t turn around but stayed focused on that slip of paper on the floor.
“It’s fine. What’s up?” She focused on the other trainer.
“You’ve got a student that wants to schedule a private lesson. Do you want me to have them call you?”
“No. I’ll take care of it now. This will only take a minute.” She patted my arm.
I nodded, bent to pick up some of the papers thrown over the edge of the desk as she left the office.
I didn’t mean to read the note.
It was one of those things. You pick something up and a word or two catches your eye, drawing it to the next. Then you go back to start at the beginning.
Bitch, I know you’re looking for me.
BACK THE FUCK OFF!
You mess with my money you’ll pay with blood—yours, and your dog’s.
“What in the holy fuck?” The bottom dropped out of my stomach as the blood rushed from my head. It was written in magazine clippings glued to printer paper like somebody watched too much CSI. It had to be from the mill—who else would’ve threatened one of my girls?
Whoa. What?
I wanted Lily. I cared about her...but, ‘my girl’?
I’d have to revisit that shit later.
I had too much adrenaline swirling around in my system rapidly converting into a seething, dark anger. My teammates liked to say that I was two different guys. One dude most of the time in my everyday life. The other only came out when I put on pads, and I set the monster loose. The only time I was the monster was on the field. He was separate from me as far as I was concerned.
Now, I could feel him doing his damnedest to take over my meat suit.
Nobody fucks with Lily . Over my cold, dead body. I knew I needed to get a grip. But FUCK—tell that to the barely restrained monster currently beating at the inside of my skull.
Focus, Shaw .
After a couple of deep breaths, I shoved him down again. When had she gotten this? Today? Yesterday? “Goddamn it, Lily, why didn’t you tell me?” How did they know it was her searching for them?
The guys at the rental house. They probably connected the sticker on Everett’s car to the training center. Lily had said she was burned in certain circles. I needed to pull my shit together so I could talk to her calmly.
Maybe there was another explanation.
“Another explanation for what?”
I turned, the warmth of her smile usually welcome, but at the moment, frustrating as hell.
“That puppy, though. Ohmygod, poor Hayes didn’t stand a chance against those basset eyes. Cutest puppies in the world.”
Leaning my ass on the desk, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Shut the door.”
Puzzlement crawled across her face as she did as I asked. “What’s up? I’m not mad, Brody. Promise.”
“No, but I am,” I said in a low voice. “Wanna tell me about this?” Holding the note up, I watched her closely for a reaction.
And there it was.
A quick flick of the eyes to the left, a squeeze of her fist, a swallow. “Not really.”
“It’s from the mill.”
“Yeah, I figured. We must have had the right guys at the rental house.”
We were both visibly trying to relax. I crossed my feet. She rested her butt on the folding table against the wall opposite, mirroring me.
I rolled my neck, trying to loosen the muscle. “They know we’re looking for them.”
She nodded.
“When did you get this?”
“A few days after we followed them.”
Christ. That meant she’d had it for over a week. I felt my jaw tense as I stared holes into the floor between us. Anywhere but at her.
Lily was never in danger from me—unlike the people who’d threatened her. But I was pissed, and I knew, at my size, I was a scary motherfucker when I was pissed. When I thought I had it under control, I studied her face.
No, Lily Costello was not afraid of me. She was meeting my glare with her own, fire turning her normal violet to a rich plum as she refused to back down. Pack leader, through and through.
“Were you going to tell me?” My voice came out grated through clenched teeth.
“Nope,” she snapped back. “Not your problem. It’s mine.”
What was truly foreboding about this whole standoff was the absolute moderation of our voices. Mine was low, calculated. Hers, steady and cold.
But that was about to change.
“What the hell are you thinking, Lily? Not telling me about something like this?” I knew I was getting loud, but I couldn’t rein it in. “Jesus Christ. Did you think this through at all? Where did you get it?”
“I was thinking it’s not your problem!” She moved off the table, throwing a finger out while glaring holes through me. “That I can damn well take care of myself, and I don’t need you or anyone else to handle my business for me, Shaw. Back. Off.”
“Bullheaded—” I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the curls. “Home? Did you find it at home? What if Hayes and I had just escalated this shit by asking in pet shops? Did you think of that? Fuck, do they know where you live?”
She rolled her eyes. “It came here. No return address, with a Dallas postmark.” She smoothed her hair. “Man, are you a drama queen.”
“Damn it, Lily, you can’t just roll your eyes and act like this didn’t happen! Did you think about the pet shops making matters worse?”
She clenched her jaw, glared at the wall over my shoulder.
Hell, yeah, she did. “Fuck me. You did think about it. But didn’t tell me because you wanted to charge ahead without me pissing on your parade. Your plan.”
When she scowled, I knew I was right.
“Does anyone else know? Tell me you at least told somebody. Anybody. The police or the rest of our team?”
“No. This is a scare tactic, is all. I won’t run off that easy or back down from this, and I didn’t need anyone trying to convince me that I should. I’m not afraid of these assholes.”
“Not afraid, she says.” I pushed off the desk to pace so I didn’t punch a wall. “Sonofabitch. What happened to us being a team, Lil? I know you know how to work as a team. You do it with Jet. But beyond that you’re being goddamned selfish withholding this from me and everyone else! It’s about more than you and your fucking bent to never depend on another human being as long as you live.”
Her lips parted, angry color cresting her cheeks, and as angry as I was with her, she was fucking spectacular to see in that moment. “That’s not what I’m doing! Of course, we’re a team.” She motioned between us. “I didn’t think it was a legit concern, is all. Those dogs have much more to lose than I do.”
Hands on my hips, I stopped a couple feet in front of her. “Oh, really. What about Mack and Jet? They threatened your dogs, too. Ever think that if they know where you work, they know where you live?”
I didn’t give her a chance to answer. “You seem to think you’re the only one in this room that cares about finding those dogs, the only one responsible for seeing this through. Well, I fucking give a shit, too. Not only about them, but about you! I care about you, Liliana, and so help me God, if you get hurt because your stubborn, yet very nice, ass seems to think you have to do it all alone just to spite the world...”
Her eyes dropped away, her anger draining. “You...what? Brody—” she said with a softness that wasn’t there before.
But I wasn’t done. I knew I’d gotten too loud, too, and people could probably hear me.
I didn’t care. If it meant getting her to see reason, I didn’t care who heard. “We’re also not a team of two anymore. Kate, Melissa, Carrie, Everett. They’ve all got a stake in this. Did you ever stop to think that if these guys know who you are, they might know who they are, too? Are you willing to risk their safety like you’re willing to risk your own? Fuck!” I tangled my fingers in my hair.
That’s when the door popped open and Hayes walked in. “Dude. Everything okay in here? They’re starting to worry out front.”
I blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m almost done.”
Hayes pushed the door the rest of the way open and leaned on the frame with a sleeping puppy cradled in his arm.
I let all the worry I felt for this woman blanket my stare. “It’s not all about you, Lily, and whatever it is you think you need to prove to who the fuck knows, other people are sticking their necks out for you. For us. The way I feel about you...” I hesitated. “Swallow your damn pride or you’re going to lose more than the dogs that need rescuing. Because I’ll be damned before I sit and watch you get yourself hurt in the process.”
Her eyes were glassy, but if that’s what it took to make her understand she wasn’t alone—that she mattered—so be it.
Without another word, I walked around her and shut the door behind me.
Damn her .
I did care about her. No, care was what you felt for a cousin. I had feelings for her. Maybe I was starting to fall for her.
Hayes nudged me on the way to the truck. “You okay?”
I wiped my bottom lip with my thumb. “Fuck, I don’t know.”
“You were pretty hard on her in there.”
Unlocking the truck, we both crawled in the cab. I wasn’t blind. I knew I wasn’t the only one in the room that didn’t trust easily. I was afraid, too. After we found the mill, she wouldn’t need me anymore. I was a means to an—albeit, justified—end.
Yet here I was.
She was the first person I thought about in the morning and the last one before I fell asleep. Yet, she couldn’t tell me about a threat to her damn safety because she was afraid I might step on her toes.
Is what I feel for Lily deep enough to get past my own shit and let her into my heart?
Deep down in my bones, I already knew the answer. It’s why I’d told her how I felt about her.
Lily Costello was my perfect inevitability. I could only hope we wouldn’t raze any cities or each other’s hearts, when we came out on the other side. And if one of us hadn’t let our guard down soon—invited the other inside our own personal shitshows—we might never find out.
I’d cracked the door for her. I just hoped she’d take the invite.