Chapter Twenty-Five
Collateral Damage
Lily
I traced the scar across his chin. Admired the thick onyx lashes. A mouth fashioned for sin.
I placed an openmouthed kiss on his injured shoulder before I snuggled into the crook of his neck on his good side.
Brody wasn’t quiet when he came. The completely male sounds he made were half grunt, half moan and all Brody. I was addicted to that sound.
But something was off. He was so quiet I could hear the gears turning in his head.
“You okay, big guy?”
“Andra was her name, and she played me. Big time.”
The words were said so soft, like he was afraid I wouldn’t want this part of him, or maybe he was embarrassed to give it.
“Tell me about her?”
“We were together almost a year. She even moved in. She was too perfect, that should have been the first clue. I didn’t realize she was playing a part, telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. If I liked the movie, so did she. If I didn’t like the dress, she didn’t wear it. If I wanted to have sex, she never told me no. We never argued. Not once.”
He ran a hand over his face. “Then the suggestions started. I should rent a loft downtown. I should get the new Lambo. Her ex had an account for her at Dior. If I’d just do the same, it would make life so much easier. She didn’t want me. Andra wanted a lifestyle. I think I chose to not see it for a long time. When I didn’t take the suggestions the fights started. I’ve never needed to flash the money around. I don’t even like the fucking celebrity of it all. I got home from a road trip, and she was just gone.”
I knew a little. They were photographed together a lot. I think she was the only relationship he’d had, and it was fairly early on in his career. She was engaged to a baseball player now.
I ran my nose over his collarbone. “If she only wanted you for your money, she never deserved you, sugar. You are so much more than that.”
“It kinda set me up for the years to come, ya know? It’s hard to know who your real friends are and who only wants something from you. Who’s real and who’s fake. Some of the other guys handle it like they were born to it—all the celebrity and other stuff. I just wanted to play football. I don’t know... I’m just fed up with all the shit that comes with it.”
I gave him a small nod. “My dad dealt with it poorly. He needed the validation; I think that had more to do with the depression than anything. If you’re the life of the party, nobody realizes you’re riding the razor’s edge. He hid it. Kept sinking deeper until I think he couldn’t see a way out anymore.”
Rumors about my dad’s death had always persisted, but this was the first time I told anyone I thought my dad took his own life. He’d never sought help and didn’t have any of the tools or knowledge about how to live with depression. Depression, likely exasperated by repetitive head injuries. But this wasn’t about my dad.
“Did you love her?”
“No. I know that now. I hoped she was someone I could love, eventually. Maybe I hoped I could change her, too.” His grin was a little sad. “Ironic, I guess.
“Then came Barnett’s granddaughter, and tight on the heels of that dumpster fire, the fantasy suite hit the news.”
Drawing circles on his torso, I stayed patient and quiet.
“I was in that hotel room maybe twenty minutes, Lil. Had one beer.” Leaning up, he locked eyes with me. “I wasn’t there when they trashed that suite, and I sure as hell didn’t touch any of those women.”
“Brody, I believe you.”
He pinched his nose with his free hand. “Nobody else does. The woman who snuck the phone in was good with Photoshop, I’ll give her that.” I could feel the way his muscles tensed, the angry edge to his voice. “She superimposed my face on O’Sullivan’s body—O’Sullivan, who happened to be sharing a woman with another player—simply because I was one of the highest paid players in there.”
As a backup linebacker, O’Sullivan had a similar build to Brody, but he was deep on the team’s roster and didn’t make as much. It made me angry for him. “And now a harassment suit.”
“Yep. She’s saying Sherman invited her and insinuated the organization wouldn’t want her to let the team down. I didn’t see her and there were only a dozen people there while I was, but that doesn’t mean anything. I think maybe she got there after I left. Erica says the suit against me won’t stick—that they’re probably just covering their bases. I get it, I wouldn’t put it past Sherman. The dude is a dick and a half, and I hate that one of my teammates could’ve done this to her. She’s not the first woman to complain about Sherman, and the team is way too good at burying shit like this. Last time, it was a female sports reporter in the locker room. The asshole waited until she was on air, walked up behind her, and rubbed his naked dick on her ass. Some of these guys, hand to God, they think they can get away with anything. Like they’re invincible. Remember last season when Sherman was sporting two black eyes after the New York game?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, I broke his nose for that incident. I also told the reporter I’d give a statement if she wanted to file charges and she told me if she brought charges, she’d never get another job in sports. This fantasy suite thing... I’m tired of ending up collateral damage because of events that happened at a party after I left.”
Sitting up, I rested my chin on his chest. “I’m sorry, Brody. I hate that you’re going through this.” I paused a beat. “I’d take it all away if I could. Just you and me, the dogs, and this big-ass bed of yours.”
He chuckled, cupped my jaw as he arched up to place a kiss below my ear. “I get so tired of never knowing who I can trust. Of always being somebody’s target.”
And here I was in his bed. The person who could ruin his dream of retiring in his hometown. Yet, I don’t think I’d ever felt so right as I did in Brody’s arms.
It was an impossible situation.
One that would probably blow up in our faces.
That was his choice to make, not mine to take away. If he was willing to take the risk, I would, too.
“You gotta go home to the dogs, don’t you?” He pulled me from my thoughts.
“I left them with my neighbor.”
“Will you stay?” He rolled toward me, brushed the hair off my forehead.
I nodded, tried to push the worries away.
Right now, there was warmth to absorb and bare skin to explore. Chest hair to sift my fingers through, and those rich velvety kisses. Lush brown eyes to fall into. Fantasies of having it all.
Even if only for a short while.
“Thank you for sharing with me.”
He traced my lip with his finger, and I felt the bed shift as CC jumped up to join us, curling up next to Brody.
He whispered, “With all three dogs, we might need a bigger bed.”
I giggled. Contentment I’d never felt before settled into my bones as I drifted off to sleep.
Yet, later that night, I found myself on the balcony staring into the inky sky while I contemplated the uncertainties. I wouldn’t forgive myself if Brody’s dream got crushed because of me. Would he resent me for it? Or if push came to shove, would he choose the game? I could only pray I never had to find out.
When his arm slid around my waist, and his mouth skated over the nape of my neck, all the worries fled.
He was good at that.
Chasing away the worries for another time.