Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
NASH
C urse. Roll it around in your mouth a few times. Taste it on your tongue. It won’t sit right, won’t fit nicely between your lips. It’ll dissolve on your tongue, slowly, a poison you’ll taste every mouthful of. And still you’ll sit there, wondering if it was real, or if you were just making it all up. It’ll dig into the back of your brain, making itself at home. You’ll go about your life, every single day for the rest of your life, and it’ll always be there. A tattoo you can never remove, but you remember every so often, evidence of a poor choice when you were young and dumb.
I hadn’t believed in curses before I’d run away here, but now I wondered if everything in my life up to this point hadn’t been a curse. Maybe I’d been charmed as a baby, a witch showing up to my bedside, making sure I knew happiness and joy, but never true contentment. Or maybe it’d begun when I decided to run one last trip down the river, when I knew I should’ve called it quits for the season.
I only knew that watching Scarlett kneel next to Camp, halfway propped up with wild eyes, was enough to break my heart. How did I fix a problem with no solution? It killed me to see Scarlett hurting so badly for him, but I had no way to help besides getting us through.
My legs had started aching last night. The chills came later, but I wasn’t about to tell anyone and make it about me. Right now, I was strong enough to pull us through. If I had to make a guess, I’d say Scarlett was doing the same, judging by her pale skin and the way every so often I’d catch her gaze drifting off into space, as if she could see something the rest of us couldn’t.
I looked up to the sky, the tell-tale clouds already gathering through the gaps in the trees. It was obvious Camp couldn’t go any further today, and we’d made decent progress—if I had to guess. I mostly had my gut to go by where a village might be in this area.
“It looks like we’re about to get rained on at any minute. Let’s rest for a bit. I’ll set up the tent, make us some dinner, and Camp can sleep. Sound good?”
Hearing no protests, I dropped both bags at my feet and got to work on the tent. The clouds loomed closer, casting the rainforest into even more darkness than merely being shaded in the foliage before. A chill ran down my back, and I didn’t know if it was from the incoming rain, or the fever quickly working its way through my immune system.
“What can I do to help?” Scarlett twisted her hands as she watched me.
“Keep an eye on Camp. He needs you more than I do.”
She shook her head. “He’s sleeping. I tucked his backpack under his head and he just passed out. Still breathing though. And his heart rate seems okay. I’m not a medical doctor, but I don’t think he’s in any danger at the moment.” She looked down at me, concern scrawled across her face. “Will that happen to all of us, if we all do have malaria? Will we all get hallucinations?”
I sat back on my heels, tent parts strewn around me. “It doesn’t happen to everyone, but there’s a strong likelihood of it, yes. Judging by Camp and James, compared to us, I think we have a bit of time before that happens.”
Scarlett nodded, filing away the information for later, like I knew she always did.
“We’re going to be okay, darling. I promise. We’re going to get out of here—all of us.”
A whisper ran down my back, curling against the shell of my ear. Are you certain about that, Nash? Because you better make sure you’re really sure before you lie to a beautiful soul like Scarlett. She’d never forgive you for deceiving her.
I whipped my head around, expecting James, as he might’ve been trying to stir shit up, except he still sat on the log, staring off into the distance. The words felt like they were right there.
“You okay? Still here with me?” Scarlett asked, crouching down next to me.
“I’m good. Swear. I just thought I heard something, but I think it was just the wind.” Even as I said it, I realized the lack of wind rustling the trees. Shit. “How are you at starting fires?”
“It’s been a while, but I can probably remember. Do you have dry kindling, matches or a lighter or do I have to go hunting?”
I nodded, pointing to my backpack. “Side pocket inside the waterproof baggie. There should be a bundle of kindling and some matches. See if you can get James to help you. Lord knows the man probably can’t spark a flame to save his life, but it’s not good for him to just be sitting around moping, either.”
I watched her gather the lighter from my bag, cajoling a baffled James into kneeling next to her in the mud. She had been humble when she said she could probably remember how to start a fire. She had no issues at all building a small structure to catch light.
You’re going to kill her, Nash. You know that already. You kill everything beautiful you touch. And now you brought her out here to die.
Again I looked around, seeing no one near me. Just a figment of my imagination. I just needed to ignore my stress and focus on the task at hand.
One last look toward the sky told me our time was limited. We might be stalled in our travels from the rain alone, depending on how the next few hours played out. Focusing on building the tent took all my attention, and before long the small shelter stood assembled in front of me.
I tossed my bags inside, grabbing Scarlett’s and James’ abandoned bags, too. The faded red tent was small, but would fit all of us no problem. A bit snug, but it was better than nothing.
James appeared next to me. “Is that really going to fit everyone?”
“Unless you’d rather take your chances outside, I think so.” I gave him a look that told him exactly how large I estimated the stick up his ass was. “How’s the fire?”
He nodded toward Scarlett, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Perfect with no help from me. I feel like every time I get to know her, she shows me up with something new.”
I laughed. “She’s definitely full of surprises. I can’t say I mind it, though.”
“No. It’s been…refreshing.” James didn’t take his eyes off Scarlett, kneeling next to her decent- sized blaze. “Do you have something we should be cooking?”
Scarlett must have felt us staring at her, because she looked up with a smile. Her grin told me everything was right in the world, even if we were all slowly losing our minds, even if we were stuck hiking through the rainforest to survive. When she smiled at me like that, it was all going to be okay.
“Let me get you one of the ready meals.” I ducked into the tent, rummaging through my bag until I found the supplies we needed, and joined Scarlett and James at the fire.
Within a few minutes we had a dinner bubbling over the flames.
Scarlett came and sat next to me, folding her arms over her legs. “I think Camp is waking up.”
Is he? Or did you kill him, too? All of this is your fault, you know. All of it.
I ignored the voices, so clearly heard I could’ve sworn Scarlett was the one saying them to me. Except she wasn’t.
I was hallucinating. At least I was still currently aware enough to realize it. Give me a couple of hours and I’d be just as bad as Camp and James.
I looked over to Camp, who was indeed stirring. When he opened his eyes, they were clear and lucid. Thank fuck. I could carry him if I needed to, but I didn’t know quite how far my strength would last.
He rubbed his eyes and got to his feet. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing much,” Scarlett said, patting the log next to her. “We just decided to set up camp, made some dinner. You hungry?”
“Starving actually.” Camp pressed a kiss onto the top of Scarlett’s head, sitting down next to her.
“I’m shocked,” drawled James. “Camp, hungry? Never heard of such a thing in my life.”
“You’re just jealous you don’t have the same metabolism you had in university.” I laughed. “We’re old now, James.”
“I don’t think any of you have any issues with your metabolism.” Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Now that’s settled, can we eat?”
We dug in, laughing and telling stories like we were back on the boat, not in this situation. The rain continued to hold off, the light slowly dimming in the sky around us until our faces were lit only by the flickering orange flames.
I pointed my fork at James, my bowl long since empty. “Let me tell you a story about James, here. It involves a bar at two in the morning, a bartender, way too much whiskey, and a bottle of honey.”
“Oh, God,” James groaned. “Please, no. Let’s not tell this story again. I thought I’d blocked it out from my memory.”
Scarlett laughed at James’ feet, pushing him lightly on the thigh. “No! I want to hear this!”
He shook his head, hair swinging. “Absolutely not. I do not need to revisit that time in my life ever again. All I will tell you is that it took me a long time to be able to look at honey the same way.”
“You? You weren’t even the one with a honey-covered belly button!” I laughed. It felt like a different person, a different lifetime. Was I ever someone who could laugh at silly things like a drunken night at the bar? The thought quieted me. “All things considered, it was a good night.”
“A lot of those nights were good,” James agreed, meeting my eyes across the fire, the tiniest glimmer of the kid he used to be in the shadows of his gaze.
We all fell silent, each of us lost in our own thoughts. The only sounds separating our memories were the crackling of the dying embers, reminding us exactly where we were.
“Do you ever wish you were back there?” Scarlett asked, voice soft. “To make different choices, or even just to relive that time?”
I thought about it for a moment and shook my head. “How would any of us have met if I’d stayed there? I wouldn’t change anything about this trip, even if it really has gone wrong at every turn.”
“Well, unfortunately I don’t have any funny stories from my time in school, but I do have a bit of a horror story.” Scarlett laughed quietly, and my stomach turned.
She hates you, you know. She’s going to tell you exactly how much, and it’s going to break you into pieces. The campfire flickered, and I could’ve sworn there was someone watching me from the edges of our small clearing, eyes glowing back at me from the light of our flames.
Except no one was there. I had to keep it together. For all our sakes.
“Does the horror story involve me walking in on you and James fucking like animals on the boat deck?” Camp asked.
“Don’t start with me, Campbell. I know you liked watching.” Scarlett gave him a wicked grin before settling back against James’ legs. “But, no. I’ve been reading the journal I found in the city. And I’ve learned a bit more about its history. According to the legends, this particular city was quite advanced for its time. Which is exactly what James told me. But because it was so advanced, so successful, it drew a lot of negative attention and scrutiny. So the inhabitants cursed the perimeters of it, to keep people out. The markings we saw all around the edges were warnings.”
I found myself leaning forward. “What was the curse exactly?”
I’d heard a lot about the city, but stories varied depending on who you spoke to—if they were willing to talk about it at all.
Scarlett continued. “People wanted to come and take things back to their own people. Tools, knowledge, wealth, that sort of thing. They wanted to steal it, basically. So the city cursed its perimeter such that if someone stepped inside, they could never leave. Forever trapped , is what it said.” She shrugged. “I guess the fear of getting trapped away from your entire life elsewhere would be enough to scare a lot of invaders off.”
“But, we left,” James pointed out. “Clancy left. The workers left.”
“I guess we aren’t cursed, then.” I grinned, and James glared at me. “In all seriousness, these stories are hearsay at best. They’ve been passed down for generations, centuries, sometimes. There’s going to be gaps in the stories, or parts where the translations don’t add up. That’s to be expected. Of course, all of this is assuming you even believe in curses.”
Silence around the fire, and three pairs of eyes stared at me, mixed emotions in each of them. Curses were silly things.
And yet, you feel cursed, don’t you, Nash? If you don’t, you should. This is all your fault after all.
The fire no longer looked welcoming and warm. The dark was no longer a blanket wrapped around me, but a hood covering my senses. Everything was cold, haunting, and I wanted nothing more than to run away from it all.
“Well, I think that’s enough for one night. We should all get some sleep so we can get an early start tomorrow.” I tried my best to ignore the throbbing behind my eyes, and the chills racing up my back. I was tired. That was all.
“Bed sounds like a great idea.” Scarlett stood, pulling James to his feet by his hand, and beckoning to Camp as well. “You coming, Nash?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m just going to make sure everything is secure and the fire is out and then I’ll be in.” The three of them disappeared into the tent, leaving me alone in the night, with only my thoughts for company.
And me. Don’t forget about me.
“You’re not real,” I muttered out loud. “You’re just a figment of my imagination. I’m sick.”
In more ways than one. And what is real, anyway? Such a silly word. If it feels absolute, maybe it is real. And I feel pretty tangible to you, don’t I?
“Go away.” I went to quench the fire, taking one last look at the camp before I did so. It was clear of any physical dangers, so I smothered the flames with large, wet leaves. It was only once the fire was out that I realized the rainclouds had entirely covered the stars and moon, leaving me entirely in the pitch dark.
I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
And yet, the black jaguar licking its paws, sitting on the edges of the tree in front of me was perfectly clear.
The jaguar met my gaze. The eyes staring back at me could’ve been human. “Don’t fight reality, Nash,” it purred. “You might find you like the world better once you’ve lost your mind.”
I’d never run as fast as I did, hoping I was running in the direction of the tent, tumbling inside the nylon. My hands were shaking so bad I fumbled zipping it closed.
A soft hand rested on top of mine. “Let me.”
Scarlett zipped up the tent, pulling me against her, spooning against my back. She stroked my hair away from my face with the gentlest of touches.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, mimicking my words to her. “I promise, Nash. We’re going to be okay, as long as we’re together.”
I’d never been as grateful for rain as when it started tapping against the roof of the tent, because the sounds of the raindrops drowned out the whispers that grew louder by the minute.
Tell me what you truly dream of, for I can see right through you.