Delirium (Captive Love: Forced Proximity Standalones #4)

Chapter 29

NASH

W hen I was a kid, I always wanted to be a superhero. I wanted to be the kind who wore a cape, and swooped in at the last second, saving people’s lives while passersby looked on and cheered, waiting to take a picture with their hero. Invisibility, power of flight, super hearing, all of those were cool, but I wanted nothing more than immortality. I would watch hours of cartoons, seeing all those characters get into life or death situations, always managing to come through because they were untouchable. As I grew older, I realized that was impossible. None of us were untouchable. People got sick and hurt and died, and there was nothing you could do about it.

But now, I wondered if maybe I was wrong to write it off so quickly. We stormed through the mud and the rain, and Camp’s slow heart beat on my shoulder. I didn’t need to be touching Scarlett to know her heart was beating double time to make up for his.

I think that’s where I got it all wrong, because I think there was something to be said about the resilience of the human heart.

It breaks. It beats.

It breaks again. It beats twice.

When you think about it, what is immortality really, other than a heart’s ability to heal, over and over again? A rebirth in the simplest terms.

We die. We come back to life.

How many times had our hearts been broken, only for the four of us to find our way here, together? Still we were here, marching forward. I knew if I looked back, I’d see James holding Scarlett’s hand, keeping her together.

I hoped like Hell I was leading them in the right direction. One wrong turn and our immortality would be no more, leaving all of us wandering for who knew how long. That was a lot of responsibility on one person.

But I had to lead. There was no choice. They were relying on me, and I refused to let them down.

I couldn’t.

But you might.

The voice in the trees was back. I couldn’t deal with this right now. If I got sick, there would be no one to carry Camp. “Go away,” I muttered.

You said it yourself. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on one person. Maybe it would just be easier to accept failure and move on.

“No.” I kept walking, minutes turning into hours as I ignored the gentle voice calling to me from the trees, whispering the truths I wanted to not think about.

You can’t save them all, Nash. That was your first downfall. Thinking you could.

The world was starting to spin, and sweat was beginning to pool, even under my thin shirt. I shook my head to clear the water from my eyes, holding onto Camp tighter, his heart still beating.

His heart was still beating . If his heart was still beating, I needed to keep going.

One foot in front of the other.

Makes no difference to me if you fail now, or fail later. You’ll be a part of the rainforest soon, either way.

I couldn’t fail. One foot in front of the other. Somewhere, I could hear Scarlett’s voice, calling out to me. She sounded scared.

Be easier to just give up now.

Giving up wasn’t an option. My legs were growing weaker, and Camp was growing heavier, but his heart was still fucking beating .

I didn’t see the trees. I didn’t see the rain. I didn’t see the animals, cowering in the shadows.

Which meant I also didn’t see the root that tripped me, sending both myself and Camp into the mud.

See? Isn’t giving up easier?

Scarlett screamed somewhere, very far away. My eyelids felt very heavy. The jaguar sat at the base of the trees, licking its paws, staring at me eagerly. All I wanted was to tell Scarlett to be careful.

My eyes closed, and once they opened, the jaguar was gone.

Closed, and I could sense Scarlett next to me, calling for help.

I opened my eyes again, and she was there, repeating something to me I couldn’t hear. I did the best I could. She knew that, right? I had done the best I could. One foot in front of the other.

She turned and called over her shoulder. I could just make out the shape of people running toward her, which was weird. There shouldn’t have been other people. It was just us and the jaguar.

My eyes closed, and I was floating, up, up and away. My heart still beat. Maybe I really was immortal.

Tell me what you truly dream of, for I can see right through you.

I don’t think I came back to life as much as I throttled back to it, all at once. I sat up, my eyes flying open while I slapped a hand over my heart. It was beating. Surely that meant I wasn’t dead yet, right?

“Hey, rainforest boy. How you feeling?”

I whipped my head to the side to see a smiling Scarlett setting a book down and getting to her feet.

“What the fuck happened?” I stammered. “Where are we?”

She sat on the edge of a neatly made bed, squeezing my hand. “A small hospital, about twenty-five miles from where we were found. The village you collapsed in didn’t have the supplies needed, but they were able to get us somewhere that did. A miracle, really.”

I looked around the room for the first time, noticing the sterile environment. The paper gown I was dressed in crinkled as I spun around on them mattress. My body felt weird and shaky, but no worse for the wear. “Are you sure I’m not dead?”

Scarlett laughed, pressing a hand to my face. “Pretty sure. Be a pretty shitty heaven if you were.”

I shook my head. “But I didn’t make it. The jaguar was talking to me, and I got distracted, and I fell, and I failed all of you.”

“Jaguar?” Scarlett frowned. “Never mind. I’m not sure I even want to know. Regardless of your hallucinations, you didn’t fail, Nash. You saved us. You kept going right until we hit the edges of a small village, and then collapsed. It was wild to see, honestly. I kept trying to talk to you, but you were in some kind of trance, almost. And then you fell. I screamed for help.”

A trance. The entire time I had thought the jaguar was goading me, rooting for me to fail, but what if the whole time it was trying to keep me going? I licked my parched lips, the question I was avoiding needing to be asked. “Camp and James? Are they okay? Shouldn’t you be with them?”

“James is fine. He’s busy renting a small apartment down the road for us. Once you get discharged, you’ll come there, too. The two of us weren’t bad off, an oral dose of meds, some fluids and rest and we were good to go. You were pretty rough. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how sick you were. I’ll never forgive myself for that.” She looked away, chewing on her cheek.

I squeezed her hand. “Don’t. How could you know if I was a stubborn ass and said nothing about it? We’re here now, that’s the important part. What about Camp? Is he okay?” My heart tightened at the thought of not being quick enough to save him.

“He’s going to be okay. We got him in just in time.” She looked up at me, tears filling her blue eyes. “ You got him help just in time. He’s in the next room over, sleeping. But everyone is going to be okay. You were right all along.”

I smiled up at her, wishing there were words to describe how I felt right now. Lucky didn’t feel like enough.

Maybe there would never be enough words. And maybe one day I’d be okay with that. Maybe it never really mattered. Because today, my heart was beating.

I had to laugh stepping into the apartment, Scarlett clinging to my arm. “Of course James found the fanciest fucking apartment in the entire rainforest.”

The front door opened up to a large living space, with two massive beds, and an enormous kitchen off to one side. At the far end, a balcony door stood open, the thin curtains rippling in the breeze, letting in just a peek of the river below.

James shrugged from the kitchen, where he stood with a glass of something amber. “I can rent you an apartment more to your standards, if you’d like. I think I passed a shack on the way here.”

“You good?” Scarlett asked, letting go of my arm.

I nodded. “Good.”

Camp appeared from the balcony, looking pale and thin, but with light in his eyes. He hugged me without hesitation. “Fuck, it’s good to see you, man. I don’t know what to say. You saved my life.”

“You would’ve done it for me.”

Camp ended up being released from the hospital before me. Apparently, a decade in the rainforest meant I had more than a few well-hidden infections that needed dealing with. I tried to tell her it was all just a scam, but Scarlett insisted. A few extra days, and I had a clean bill of health.

I crossed the tiled room to the balcony, staring down at the river that had been the source of so much heartache in my life of late. Scarlett told me in the hospital the city we found ourselves in had enough resources to send off people to find the Carpe Diem and drag her back. She was down there somewhere at the docks, waiting for me.

I’d go visit her eventually. Make sure she knew she hadn’t been abandoned. She’d done a good job.

I turned away from the river, the view through the balcony doors into the apartment more beautiful. Scarlett stood at the kitchen island, laughing at something James said. He looked down at her with unmasked affection. Camp shook his head at both of them.

A family. We were a real family. I couldn’t ask for more.

“Nash! Get your ass in here and do a toast with us!” James called.

I laughed, and with one last look at the river, I joined them in the kitchen. James slid a glass over to me. I gave it a nervous sniff. My eyes widened. “Where the hell did you find this?”

He shrugged. “I have my ways. Now. A toast. To surviving the jungle.” He gave Scarlett a pointed glare over the rim of his glass.

Scarlett rolled her eyes. “To the adventure of a lifetime.”

“To outwitting a stupid curse!” Camp held his glass up high.

Smiling, I looked around at the three of them. There wasn’t anything left to toast. Except for one. “Fuck the curse. Here’s to being together.”

Our classes clinked together. We downed them in unison, the air filled with nothing but joy and contentment.

“How’d you even afford this piece of shit place anyway, man?” I looked around at the high end finishings with only a touch of jealousy. I knew what money had cost James. “I thought Clancy ran off with all your money.”

James grinned over the rim of his glass. “Turns out Clancy wasn’t my last investment. A mining operation I funded years ago finally found what they were looking for.”

“Please tell me it didn’t involve another lost city,” Camp groaned.

“No, this was a real mining expedition.” James laughed. “Who would’ve thought? Clancy and his men can do whatever they want with the money they stole from me. I have more than enough now to set my business back on its feet, and then some.”

I cocked my head to the side. “And Clancy? Scarlett never mentioned if you heard from him.”

“Not a peep.” James sipped at his drink again. “Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered. It’s a drop in the bucket at this point. Besides, maybe the curse really did get him…wouldn’t that be sweet justice?”

“Not this again.” Scarlett slapped his wrist. “There was no curse. We’re out. We’re not trapped inside the city. We’re here. Together. No curse. No nothing.”

“She has a point, you know. If the curse were real, we wouldn’t be standing around talking to each other in James’ shitty new kitchen,” Camp offered.

“If anyone else wants to insult the home I’ve opened up for them, I’d be happy to find alternative arrangements for them elsewhere.” James’ voice held a note of warning, but his smirk betrayed him.

I laughed, feeling the weight lift off my shoulders. Scarlett was right. There was no way the curse could’ve been real. It was all just the wrong place, the wrong time. Too much time together in too small of a space.

I had a thousand more questions, but the walk from the hospital, and the excitement of being out made me wobble slightly as I set my glass down on the counter. Scarlett narrowed her watchful eyes.

“Come get some rest,” she murmured, setting her glass down and pulling me to bed. “You’ve been on your feet for too long already.”

I smiled down at her, not willing to protest. If she wanted to lie in bed with me, I’d be there for as long as she wanted.

She curled against my front, and I held her close, the alcohol and her gentle breathing lulling me to sleep. Maybe she was right. Rest couldn’t be a bad thing. Everything would still be here when I woke up.

At some point, a breeze blew through the window, and I stirred. My arms were empty, and my heart stuttered. Scarlett was missing. I sat up, already frantic, only to see her standing on the balcony overlooking the river, eyes lost in some dream I couldn’t see.

The wind rustled her long hair, and the setting sun illuminated her profile, setting her aflame.

Not for the first time, I wondered how someone so striking could want me .

I got up, tugging on the discarded pants next to the bed, and joining her on the balcony. I wrapped my arms around her. “Penny for your thoughts.”

She pressed back against me. “They’re worth at least a dollar.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t even afford the penny. I’ll have to ask James for a loan.”

Scarlett turned in my arms, smiling. “I guess I can give you an advance. I was just thinking about how I’m not ready to go back to the real world. I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want to teach. I don’t want to wake up in my bed every morning and wonder if I’m happy.”

I leaned forward, pressing a whisper of a kiss to her lips. “So stay. Fuck the rules. Stay with me.”

She kissed me back, before turning her head. “I don’t know. What do you guys think?”

I had been so caught up in Scarlett, I hadn’t even noticed Camp and James joining us on the balcony. I turned so we could face them, James as he leaned in the doorway, stoic as always, Camp lounging on the chair with crossed arms.

“Well, I’m not exactly excited to go home and explain to everyone why I’m a wanted criminal, so staying is good with me.” Camp grinned. “Besides, there’s still more work to do here.”

I pointed at him. “No more explosions.”

“We’ll see.”

“James?” Scarlett asked, and I could just make out the tinge of nerves in her voice. She didn’t want to be apart from him, but I wasn’t sure how much his decision would sway hers, either.

James rolled his lip between his teeth, looking out to the river I know he hated. Then he looked back to Scarlett and sighed. “It’s not like anything is waiting for me in the city, anyway. The mining expedition is proving to be lucrative, so there’s no rush to leave here. One more adventure?”

Scarlett nodded, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I didn’t need to see her to know she was smiling. “One more adventure.”

It felt right, not closing the door just yet. Camp smiled, nodding. “One more. Maybe less malaria this time.”

I laughed, holding Scarlett close as I looked over the rainforest, the river, the landscape below me that still held endless mysteries. A lifetime would never be enough to solve them all, but one more would be a start.

One more adventure.

If you enjoyed this, be sure to check out Torri's other forced proximity romance, Jinxed !