Demented (Atlantic City’s Most Wanted #2)

Chapter Nine

His Majesty, King Aksel Antonsen, requests your presence at Seashire Palace at 12 p.m. on the 25th day of December. The family will gather precisely one hour beforehand for a private toast.

His name was on the invitation. Lazarus stood no chance of saying no. But Noir bought him a robe. Lazarus secretly loved it. He understood now why Noir never wanted to dress. Plus, the lack of clothing made for easier access. Lazarus did enjoy touching Noir. He desperately wished he could stay in that robe, sit by the Christmas tree, and enjoy his first normal holiday with the man he loved. Unfortunately, unlike Lazarus, Noir had a family. A royal one. What a nightmare. Lazarus ran out of random thoughts to busy his mind from the stressful situation. He was under a microscope.

Lazarus donned his coldest demeanor, using it like a shield from the obvious judgement. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, there was a tiny voice telling him he would win more flies with honey. Lazarus was overwhelmed, which always brought out the worst in him. For Noir’s sake, he tried staying quiet, so he remained civil.

Noir’s father, Aksel, looked so much like Noir, ridiculously so. They looked the same age. It was eerie. They could be twins, except where Noir always appeared bored, Aksel looked cold. His cool stare cut right through people. He was a king in every way. Even if Lazarus hadn’t known that, he still would have known. The guy was regal. He knew he was above everyone in the room, including his son. Lazarus was less than the dirt beneath his boot.

“I hear you carried my son from a nightclub like a bag of trash.”

Well, fuck. He had done that. “I did.”

Aksel narrowed his eyes. “That’s it? You did? No excuses?”

Lazarus refused to apologize. “I did what had to be done. He was somewhere he shouldn’t be with someone he shouldn’t have been with. I remedied the situation.”

Not a single muscle twitched in Noir’s face. He sat like a stone while Aksel stared at Lazarus with a hard expression.

Finally, Aksel snorted before roaring with laughter. He glanced Noir’s way and said something in a foreign language.

Noir’s eyes swam with laughter. He focused on Lazarus. “He says I should marry you now before someone else does.”

Lazarus’ throat swelled so hard and fast, his head swam. He didn’t know if Noir laughed at the ridiculousness of the idea or if he was simply relieved by his father’s reaction. Either way, Lazarus couldn’t let the moment pass.

“You should.”

At the seriousness of Lazarus’ tone, Noir’s smile fell. “Wait. Are you serious?”

Before Lazarus could answer, Aksel slapped his knees and stood. “Now isn’t the time. This is a holiday. One of the very few where I get to see you. Let’s eat and then open presents. I’m sure there’s at least one person ready to sneak a picture of our happy family.”

Noir stood and straightened his jacket, falling back into royal mode. “Of course.”

Lazarus studied Noir’s expression as he stood. Before heading to Noir’s home country, Noir had called in his tailor to make Lazarus look as much the part as possible. Now his suit chafed, and he was overheated. His tie felt too tight, and he couldn’t breathe. But still, Lazarus only had eyes for Noir. He needed to know what thoughts rattled in his head. Lazarus wanted to force Noir to tell him where they were headed. Unfortunately, Noir avoided his gaze as he headed for the formal dining room where his family’s guests waited. They had already been cooling their heels for too long while Aksel met Lazarus properly and without witnesses. It had been a stressful morning. Now Lazarus had all these thoughts in his head, making insecurities grow. Maybe Noir didn’t want to get married. He understood things weren’t cut and dry due to Noir’s position, but fuck. Lazarus was willing to do whatever it took. Surely, Noir knew that by now. That left only one conclusion. Noir didn’t want this. Where the fuck was he supposed to go with that?

Noir watched Lazarus's mood blacken by the minute. His expression turned so scary, people made a wide berth. Occasionally, he would catch Noir’s eye and soften a hair, but then he was back to glowering at everyone. Noir didn’t know what he had done. Lazarus’s mood dampened his plans. He didn’t give two fucks if everyone was terrified of Lazarus. His father loved that about him. Noir loved that about him. He was sexy as hell when he looked ready to kill. Lazarus had Noir ready to rip off his clothes. He also had Noir worried. Maybe getting a firsthand look at royal life was enough to convince him this wasn’t what he wanted. There was a lot of pomp and circumstance that went with major holidays. They weren’t gathered around the tree with hot cocoa. Everything they did was watched and judged. Their day would be aired to the public. He thought he might hyperventilate. Noir tried hard to smile when appropriate and be stoic when it wasn’t. He couldn’t take his eyes off Lazarus and his barely contained temper. It felt like the day would never end. By the time they were allowed to escape to their private quarters, Noir wanted to tear off his skin. He ground his back teeth on the walk. Noir barely made it until the door closed behind them before he turned on Lazarus.

“Spill.”

A line appeared between Lazarus’ eyebrows. “Spill what?”

Noir peeled off his coat before making an impatient gesture. “Whatever has you trying to kill everyone with one glance. All day, you’ve looked ready to fly into a rage. If this is too much for you, you can say it. I know asking you to come here was asking a lot more than you likely signed up for. There are things I have no choice about. I totally get that you do. I completely understand how overwhelming this must be.”

“What in the hell are you talking about? This is exactly what I signed up for. Do you think I’m dumb? I knew loving you meant playing a part when needed.”

“Then why are you so angry?”

Lazarus’ chest expanded as he drew an audibly deep breath. “You don’t want to marry me.” The words burst from Lazarus as if he knew if he didn’t just say it, then he never would. He even winced afterward, as if he hated how he sounded.

Noir blinked. “What?”

Lazarus’ shoulders fell. He peeled off his jacket and tossed it on the settee next to Noir’s. “It’s stupid. Never mind. I love you and it shouldn’t matter. It just stung a little when you reacted the way you did to your dad’s joke. You obviously took it as just that: a joke.” He finally met Noir’s stare again. “It’s not a joke to me. I love you and I want to marry you, but I get it. I’m me.” He motioned toward himself. “You’re you.” He motioned toward Noir, as if that should explain everything. “You’re right. I’m not good enough for this.”

Noir couldn’t stop blinking while his mind tried processing the complete idiocy of every word Lazarus said. “Well, fuck.” Nothing ever went smoothly with them. “You’re kind of fucking up my Christmas right now.”

Lazarus’ expression turned thunderous. “I’m sorry. You asked. If you didn’t want to know how I feel, why in the fuck did you start this?”

A smile exploded across Noir’s face. He really loved this ridiculously angry and abrasive man. He shook his head. “No.” He held up one finger, asking Lazarus to wait. Noir grabbed his jacket and dug through the pocket. “You’re ruining my plans for you for Christmas.” Noir dropped to one knee and opened the ring box he had planned to give Lazarus later tonight.

Lazarus focused on the ring.

Noir didn’t give him time to respond. He needed to at least get to ask properly. “I’d planned a romantic dinner tonight. You know, the whole by a roaring fire on Christmas night thing. But I won’t have you walking around thinking I don’t love you more than life. I can’t let you believe I don’t want forever with you. Will you marry me?”

Lazarus didn’t respond.

A nervous laugh rumbled from Noir. “I know I’m young, but I don’t really kneel for anyone, and this floor is hard. Even without bad knees, this is rough. You’re allowed to say no; just do it quickly. I’d rather get bruises on my knees the fun way.”

Lazarus’ gaze moved from the ring to Noir’s face. “You really had that in your pocket the whole time.”

It wasn’t a question, but Noir still nodded.

Lazarus froze again for a second before blinking again, as if he couldn’t escape the shock. “I really ruined your proposal.”

He hadn’t been kidding about being on one knee, but Noir didn’t budge. “It honestly doesn’t matter how it happened, as long as you say yes.”

“Yes.”

Noir pushed to his feet. He hadn’t truly doubted Lazarus’ answer, except he worried Lazarus might be offended Noir was the one who asked. The moment felt oddly serious. Part of him wanted to smile like an idiot. The rest of him couldn’t stop showing the moment the respect it deserved. Without thinking, he fell into his training, staying stoic. He slipped the ring on Lazarus's finger. It looked a little tight, but he didn’t complain.

“Don’t do that.”

Noir’s chin shot up. He couldn’t handle Lazarus changing his mind.

Lazarus held his stare. “Don’t be fake with me. Don’t retreat behind a mask.”

“I’m not. This is me promising you the world. I want you to look at me and know I mean it. This isn’t me caught up in the moment with you. I’m not riding the high of love where reality will catch up later. We’re real and I’m very serious. I want this.”

Lazarus cupped his face and shuffled closer. “I’ll never be some normal guy.”

“Good.” Noir had never meant anything more. He wasn’t some normal guy. Why would he want that from someone else?

“I love you.” Lazarus skimmed his lips across Noir’s mouth. “People will think you’re fucking insane for marrying me.”

Noir smiled. “Good. I am insane.”

Lazarus kissed him again. His lips shaped a smile against Noir’s. “You’re amazing.”

Noir couldn’t stop grinning. He had never been happier. “I love you too.”

This time, Lazarus’ kiss turned heated. Noir wanted to tear off his clothes. Lazarus didn’t let him. The moment Noir’s hands went for Lazarus’ belt, Lazarus grabbed his hands and pulled away. “Not yet. You haven’t gotten my gift.” He headed for his toiletries bag, which still sat packed on a nearby table. Lazarus dug around until he came back with two small boxes. “I didn’t want you to think I copped out with this one.” He showed the smaller box. “Plus, I wasn’t sure if I would give it to you yet. So I also got you this one.” He shook the bigger box. They both looked like velvet jewelry boxes. “Which one would you like first?”

There was nothing Noir couldn’t buy for himself, but he was oddly giddy. No one bought him gifts out of love. Whatever Lazarus had done had come from the heart. His excitement grew by the second. “Shuffle them behind your back and I’ll pick a hand.”

Lazarus chuckled at his childishness, but did what Noir asked.

Noir motioned toward the left. “That one.”

Lazarus brought his hand around and passed Noir the bigger box.

Noir practically danced in place as he flipped it open. It was a watch. Noir was stunned. It was a beautiful piece. “Damn.” He didn’t know what else to say. The watch was exactly something he would’ve chosen for himself.

“There’s an engraving on the back.”

Noir took the watch from the box and flipped it over. He read the words aloud. “This is a tracking device.” Noir threw his head back and roared with laughter. He couldn’t stand still. He headed for the table and set the empty box aside, still chuckling. If ever there was a more Lazarus gift, Noir couldn’t think of one. He put the watch on his wrist. “I’ll gladly wear it, since you’re already tracking my phone.” Noir laughed harder at Lazarus’ shocked expression. He lifted his eyebrows. “What? You know you’re not marrying a stupid man. I’m tracking yours too.”

A smile lit Lazarus’ face. He shook his head and handed Noir the second box. “Here.”

Noir opened it without thinking and only giving it half his attention. He intended to tease Lazarus about not realizing Noir would know his every step. The words froze in his throat as he stared at the open box. A wedding band with deep set diamonds in platinum stared up at him. His chin lifted. He knew he had to look as shocked as he felt.

Lazarus shifted from one foot to the other. He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking nervous. “I didn’t want you to feel cheated out of a Christmas present by me proposing as your gift. Plus, I wasn’t really sure you’d even be willing to marry someone like me.”

Noir didn’t know what to say. There had never been two people more meant to be. They thought so much alike. It was inevitable they would end up here. Noir couldn’t find any words, so he walked into Lazarus’ arms. “There’s no greater gift.” He didn’t know how to express himself. Noir only hoped Lazarus understood. Lazarus was the biggest blessing he had ever received. His entire life had been showered in riches. He had never felt love before Lazarus gave it to him.

Lazarus squeezed him against his chest and kissed his temple. With his lips pressed to Noir’s skin, he spoke softly. “I’ll be a good husband. Whatever it takes. You know I’m too obsessive to fail.”

A watery chuckle escaped Noir as unexpected tears welled in his eyes. Boredom and unhappiness had driven him for so many years. Sometimes, he didn’t know how to handle the feelings Lazarus created inside him. Lazarus would be an amazing husband. Noir knew him. Lazarus genuinely didn’t know how to fail. They would never be apart.