11. Cory
11
CORY
I jumped, my heart leaping in my chest. Sean flicked the lock on the door. It sounded way too loud in the silence of that small tiled room. Fuck, why hadn’t I thought to lock it?
“Proud of yourself?” he sneered, taking a step forward.
“Proud of—what?” I asked, genuinely confused. When he’d flipped that lock, I’d braced for another attack, not a question I couldn’t interpret.
“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?”
“Got what I—I’m sorry, what ? Do you think I enjoyed being thrown to the mat repeatedly and then suffocated?”
“If that’s what it took to suck up to Noah, yeah, I’d say you did.”
“Suck up to—”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. Trying to make me look bad in front of the whole class. Trying to lower his opinion of me. I’m onto you.”
“Trying to make you look bad? I was just trying not to lose consciousness,” I protested. “And I wasn’t sucking up. Did you miss the part where he called me completely incompetent like ten times in a row?”
“Easy to fake incompetence if you have strong enough motivation.”
I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Sean, I don’t know what you think is going on here, but I promise you, I wasn’t faking anything. I genuinely am that incompetent. And I don’t know what Noah’s opinion of you is, but I’m pretty sure he couldn’t be more disgusted with me.”
Wasn’t that the truth. Though, to be fair to Sean, he had no idea that Noah had other reasons to think I was pathetic. But I suspected that even if I’d never met Noah before today, the man would still be disgusted with me.
“He was probably just going hard on you because he wants to make you stronger or something,” I offered. “That whole tough-but-fair thing.”
Sean took another step forward, and I was reminded—just in case I’d forgotten in the past five minutes—just how much bigger Sean was than I was. Not quite as tall as Noah, or quite as broad-shouldered, but more than enough to do damage.
Which really was unfortunate, because now I was thinking about just how big he was, and how cruelly attractive. This close, I could smell Sean’s sweat, and even that was unfairly appetizing.
My cock stirred as my eyes darted from Sean’s face to the damp spot on his gray T-shirt where it pressed against his chest. My eyes began to drift lower before I jerked them back up again.
“I swear, I wasn’t trying to do anything. All I wanted was to get out of class. I’ve never been athletic. I was sure I was going to make an ass out of myself, and hey, I did. I doubt anyone was even paying attention to you. They were probably too busy laughing at me.”
“And you expect me to believe that?” Sean took another step, which, given the size of the bathroom, brought him right in front of me—a fact my cock did not fail to notice. I was getting harder by the second. “That you don’t have it in for me?”
“Why would I have it in for you? I just met you like, four hours ago. I don’t even know you.”
“But your little friends do. That’s more than enough time for them to fill your mind with stories about how horrible and untrustworthy I am.”
I didn’t really need them to, I thought, since your own behavior made that clear . But that didn’t seem like a smart thing to say out loud.
Sean pressed me back against the sink. With him this close, it was hard to think straight. My mind wanted to protest, to tell him what a jerk he’d been since I met him, but my body just wanted more of him. Which was fucked up.
My breath was coming in fast little pants now, and I closed my eyes, trying to will the image of me sucking Sean’s cock out of my mind. But that just fixed it in place, and I couldn’t help thinking how similar I would look to that guy Noah had been with at the Balsam Inn, and that just made me think about Noah barging in on us here, and actually, maybe closing my eyes was a bad idea.
I opened them again to find Sean peering down at me. Some of the hostility had gone out of his face, but he was still standing just as close, his body only inches away.
I swallowed. “They didn’t tell me anything. You never even came up. Really, I wasn’t trying to do anything to you. I was just trying to get through class with some shred of my dignity intact.”
His eyes pored over my face and then—oh God, no—they went lower, trailing down my chest to my stomach, and lower still. I glanced down. My cock was pressing hard against my pants, desperate for attention.
Finally, Sean’s eyes flicked back to mine.
“Your dignity, huh?”
“I, um—that is, I didn’t—” I stuttered, utterly mortified.
I didn’t even know if Sean liked guys. Hell, I didn’t even know if I liked guys. I mean, yeah, okay, I had some evidence that I did, but still—I definitely didn’t like assholes who threatened to kill me and then practically carried that threat out a few hours later.
Except, judging by the way my cock throbbed, maybe I had some evidence for that too.
The outermost corner of Sean’s lip curled, just a hint of that arrogant smile returning. “You sure there’s nothing you wanted to do to me?”
His voice was deeper. Less angry, but no less confident. I supposed that answered the question of Sean’s sexuality—at least enough for the present moment. But I didn’t want there to be a present moment. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to walk away and talk to Sean as little as possible for the rest of my life.
“I—I don’t—”
My throat was suddenly dry. I licked my lips. It would be easier if he weren’t quite so close. Easier if my hands weren’t twitching, desperate to touch his chest, to claw at his shirt, to tear it off and run my tongue across his skin.
“Or maybe there’s something you want me to do to you.”
Sean ran a finger down my torso, stopping just short of my pants. My whole body trembled—but I wished he hadn’t stopped.
“I’m not—I don’t want—” I tried to choke the words out, but I couldn’t complete the sentence. It was right there on my tongue, but my brain—or some other part of me—wouldn’t let me say it.
“Don’t want what?”
My mouth closed, opened, and closed again. His smile grew.
“Are you sure there’s nothing?”
I was no longer sure of anything. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Was this some kind of incubus thing? Was I manifesting a dream in the real world, pulling Sean into it like the dean had said? Was Sean even aware of what he was doing right now, tracing his finger in a circle on my stomach, or was he going to wake up horrified in a minute?
The dean had said I couldn’t make anyone do something they weren’t interested in. But what if he was wrong? What if he was lying?
No, I couldn’t go down that road. If I started to question that, I had to question everything he told me, and my brain was too overwhelmed for that. But if I believed what the dean had said, then that meant I was into this too.
Dream or real life, I wanted this.
I felt sick to my stomach. Wanted to run and hide. And at the same time, I wanted Sean’s finger to stray lower, wanted his whole hand on my cock, wanted him to strip me naked and do whatever he wanted to me.
Nausea and desire made for a very strange mix.
“So if I walked out of this room right now,” Sean said, “and left you all by yourself, you’re saying you wouldn’t be disappointed? You want me to ignore how hard you are right now?”
My cheeks were on fire. I knew, logically, that if Sean were still here, teasing me, he must want this too. But I was mortified that he’d noticed how badly I wanted him.
“Maybe that’s why you sucked so badly out there,” he mused. “Maybe you weren’t trying to suck up to Noah at all. Maybe you just like being thrown around.”
This was humiliating. I didn’t like being thrown around, did I? I didn’t think so—and yet I couldn’t deny that I’d been turned on back in the gym. What was wrong with me?
Sean studied me, waiting for a response, but I still couldn’t muster one. Just do it , I begged him mentally. Just throw me down and do what you want to me. Take the decision out of my hands.
Suddenly, he was backing away, his smile self-satisfied and mocking. “Well, suit yourself. I wouldn’t dream of crossing a line you didn’t want me to cross.”
He shrugged, then turned for the door. His hand closed on the knob, unlocked it, and twisted. He took a step into the hallway.
“Wait,” I croaked.
He stopped walking, but he didn’t turn around. Didn’t say anything.
My throat was tight. If I told Sean to go, he would. I could push this all away, go back to dealing with my attraction—my deviance—in my dreams. Or I could tell him to stay, and act on my desires for the first time in real life.
There was no way I was brave enough to do that. No way I wanted to do that. No way I would choose this, when I had other options.
“Don’t,” I said.
“Don’t what.”
Was he going to make me say it?
“Don’t leave.”
Sean turned and crossed the space between us so quickly I wondered if I’d only imagined him leaving. He looked down at me, fire in his eyes, and ran a thumb along my lower lip. My breath caught.
Was he about to kiss me? I’d never actually been kissed, and stupid as it sounded, I wasn’t sure I wanted my first kiss to be like this. I knew it was dumb to think it would involve cherubs and rainbows, but I’d never imagined it coming from someone who’d looked ready to kill me ten minutes ago.
I opened my mouth to tell him no, no kissing, but before I could speak, he patted my cheek.
“Good job. I knew you could do it.”
Indignation flashed through me, along with more shame. Here I’d thought Sean was going to kiss me, and instead, he’d just humiliated me some more, treating me like some kind of pet.
“Let’s get a look at you.” His hands went to my waist, grabbed the bottom of my shirt, and tugged it over my head in one smooth motion.
My skin prickled from the sudden cold. I clasped my arms across my chest, tucking my hands into my armpits. Sean just laughed and pulled them away.
“I said I want to look at you.” His voice was demanding, imperious. “If that’s a problem for you, I can always leave.”
He waited a second to see if I would object. When I didn’t, he kicked the door shut behind him with his foot. Then he laughed and unzipped my fly, shoving my pants and boxers down to my hips. My cock sprang free, and he looked at it appraisingly.
“Not as small as I thought you’d be,” he said. I couldn’t tell if it was a compliment. “Now take those off. Shoes and socks too.”
Face burning with embarrassment, I stooped awkwardly, pulling my pants and underwear off one leg at a time. I straightened, clothes in hand, but Sean took them from me and tossed them in the corner.
I was freezing now. The tile floor was cold, and I fought the urge to hug myself again. It didn’t help that Sean was completely dressed, watching me with a mix of contempt and hunger. It didn’t help that I knew I deserved that contempt, for letting him treat me like this. And the hunger—I didn’t know how to feel about that.
“That’s better.” His eyes roved over my exposed skin as his hands went to his own fly. “Now, you’re going to want to kneel.”
I jumped, looking at him in confusion. Did he know what Noah had said to me? No, he couldn’t possibly. It had to just be a coincidence. But it was so similar to Noah’s words that I was shaken.
This was it. The real deal. The night at the Balsam Inn, nothing had happened. And the trance last night, the dream at the rest stop—those had been imaginary. But this was actually happening.
My heart pounded. This was my last chance to change my mind. If I didn’t want this, I needed to say something, now.
I sank to my knees. Sean nodded like he’d never doubted I would, and pulled his cock free from his boxers. My eyes went wide. It was…large. Not as big as what I’d imagined on Noah last night, but definitely bigger than I was. Not just long, but thick and uncut. Precum beaded at the tip. My breath sped up.
I was going to taste that in a minute. Taste a man for the first time. Find out if it was the same as I’d imagined in my dreams. Find out if I really wanted this.
“Now,” he said. “Suck my cock.”
It was so simple. So stark. Not a hint of discomfort or embarrassment. Why did he get to be so confident when I was practically levitating from nerves?
Maybe because his dick looks like that, and yours looks like, well, yours , said a traitorous voice in the back of my mind.
I bit my lip. An image of my dad flashed before my eyes, one night when I’d let Neil drive me home after working late on a physics project.
Faggot. You think I don’t know what you were doing? You think I’m going to let you flaunt it for the whole town to see? You need to learn your lesson.
My dad’s boots had steel toes, and my ribs had hurt for weeks after that. My whole body had. My dad was never gentle.
I made myself lean forward. I shouldn’t have to hear his voice in my head anymore. Shouldn’t have to remember him at all. I closed my eyes and slid the tip of Sean’s cock into my mouth.
It tasted just like I’d imagined, sweaty and sweet and fucking perfect. I leaned farther forward, my eyes opening, taking more of his cock inside. I was sucking a man’s cock for the first time, and it was filthy and wrong, and I’d never wanted anything more.
I could feel the heat of his body on my tongue, smell the tang of his skin. I brought a hand to the base of his cock and felt the prickle of his blond pubic hair under my fingers.
“Fuck yeah,” Sean said as I slid him in and out of my mouth. “Suck that cock.”
It should have sounded ridiculous, considering that was what I was already doing. It should have sounded condescending. Honestly, it did sound condescending, but somehow it just made me harder.
I slid his cock all the way out, stroking the underside with my tongue, then swirled my tongue around the head before taking him back down. That earned a groan from him. I slid my free hand down to my own cock and began to stroke myself. I was so ashamed—ashamed that I wanted this, ashamed I was doing anything with Sean of all people—but I couldn’t stop myself.
Sean, on the other hand, could.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded, grabbing a fistful of my hair and tilting my face up towards his. “Did I say you could do that?”
“Buh-ah-gih—” I tried to reply, but his cock filled my mouth, and trying to talk around it was making me choke.
“You don’t do anything unless I say you can.” He glared, and I dropped my hand away from my cock. “There we go. Now get back to your job.”
I was humiliated. Not just that I was accepting this, but that I enjoyed it. I might not be touching my cock anymore, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t throbbing.
Sean slid his hand to the back of my head, then thrust his hips forward, pushing more of his cock into my mouth. It hit the back of my throat and I convulsed, gagging around it. He didn’t seem concerned. He just thrust his hips again, clearly enjoying being in control.
I tried to relax my throat, tried to just accept each thrust as it came, breathing each time he pulled out. He was using my mouth like I was nothing but a fleshlight. Like I wasn’t even human.
You’re not human, though, are you ? whispered the voice in the back of my mind. He might not know that, but you do. You’re an incubus. You were made for this. For sex. For degradation. This is what you are .
And God help me, if the long strand of pre-cum connecting my cock to the floor was any indication, this was exactly how I liked it.
Just when I wondered if Sean was ever going to slow down, he pulled back, his cock sliding out of my mouth with a heavy, wet sound. Drool coated my lips, trickling down my chin. I looked up, dazed.
The next thing I knew, he was pulling me to my feet and shoving my chest against the wall next to the sink. He grabbed both my wrists and brought them behind my back, pinning my arms in place.
Oh shit. He’s going to fuck me. He’s going to fuck me right here. Oh shit, oh shit.
The thought ran through my head on a loop. He hadn’t said anything, but that had to be what he was thinking. Why else put me in this position? But there was nothing in here to use as lube, was there?
I looked left and right frantically. All I saw was the soap dispenser, and while I was no sex expert, soap up my ass didn’t seem like a great idea. Was he not planning to use any lube at all?
I’d thought I was so brave, giving my first-ever blow job, and all the while, he’d just been toying with me, building up to this. Did he know I was a virgin? Did he even care?
“You’re a squirmer, huh?” Sean said, his voice right in my ear. “That just makes it better for me.” His teeth grazed my shoulder.
I could just tell him to stop. He’d said he didn’t want to cross any lines, and I was at least 50% sure he’d meant that. His cock was wet with my spit, pressed up against my ass, but I knew that thin coating wouldn’t be enough to keep it from hurting.
Maybe you want it to hurt .
I opened my mouth to protest, and again, Sean surprised me. He pushed forward, but instead of his cock pushing my cheeks apart, it slid in between my legs. Slick, slippery noises emerged from the tight channel of my thighs as he fucked in and out of it.
I gasped, a noise that was half laugh, half cry.
“You like that, huh?”
“I thought—I thought you were going to—” I stammered.
“Oh, I’m not going to fuck you today. I’m not going to fuck you until you beg me to.” He bit my shoulder, and I bristled at the assumption in his voice.
“I’m not—I wouldn’t—I’m never going to do that.”
Sean just laughed. “Trust me. You will.”
I was glad my face was turned towards the wall so he couldn’t see my embarrassment—and my anger. Yeah, his attitude pissed me off, but I was madder at myself.
He was a jerk, but here I was, letting him do all of this. Why wouldn’t he assume I’d beg him to fuck me someday? He’d already seen how broken I was, how desperate. Why wouldn’t he assume I’d come back for more?
As if he could tell what I was thinking, his hand slid forward and grasped my cock. I moaned as he stroked me, his hand moving in time with the thrusts between my thighs. It was too much, too good. After not being allowed to touch myself for so long, I could barely contain myself.
“Yes.” The word slipped out of my lips unbidden. “God, yes.”
“That’s what I thought.” Sean’s voice dripped with contempt. “You thought I was going to fuck you without asking, and you’re still putty in my hands. You’ve never wanted anything more than this.”
It was true—except it wasn’t. There was one thing I knew would make it better. One thing I’d never get, but couldn’t stop imagining.
If only it weren’t Sean toying with me right now. If only it were Noah. Noah telling me to suck him off. Noah holding both of my wrists in one of his huge hands. Noah shoving me against the wall and making me confront my true desires.
If it were Noah, I would have begged him to fuck me.
And just like that, it was Noah behind me—in my mind, anyway. Noah’s cock plunging into the hot, dark space between my thighs. Noah’s hand jerking me off. Noah, forcing me to admit all the truths I wanted to deny.
I came, moaning as I released into his hand. It was all so embarrassing, so pathetic, and somehow that just made it hotter. I felt like I was floating.
His movements grew wilder, his thrusts harder and faster. He grunted with each pump inwards, his weight falling across my shoulders. His fingers were still stroking my cock, and I whimpered, overstimulated.
And then I felt it—his cock throbbing, his cum spurting into the channel between my thighs. His whole body pressed against mine and his teeth bit my shoulder again, hard enough to make me whine.
He didn’t release me—my cock or my shoulder—until he finally stopped thrusting into my thighs. When he pulled away, I gasped for air, but my back felt cold and exposed with the heat of his body gone.
“Fuck, that was good.”
Sean’s voice brought me back down to reality. Of course. It was Sean who was behind me the whole time. Not Noah. I was stupid. It wasn’t Noah, and it never would be.
On shaky feet, I turned and looked at Sean. He’d never done more than pull his cock out of his boxers, and he was already putting himself away. I leaned back against the wall and watched. He looked deeply satisfied.
“Well, that was more fun than I anticipated. See you around, Cory.”
Before I could figure out what to say in response, he was gone.