Chapter 31 Onyx #2
Well, damn. “Yeah, okay, I get that. I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting him out of your life.” Onyx’s attention strayed to Harper and Ollie.
Onyx wasn’t sure if he’d ever move past Luc hurting the little mates. Any reconciliation with Luc could take centuries, and Luc would have to prove himself in ways Onyx feared might not be possible. Though it could all be a moot point if Onyx never heard from the bastard again.
“How do you feel about me not telling Luc to get the hell out of my life?” he asked the mates.
Ollie and Harper shared a look. “It’s not about us,” Harper said.
Onyx shifted. “It kind of is. What he did to each of you was despicable, and I’m not forgiving him for it.
That’s not my place. I don’t want my desire to hear him out to come between us.
You’re more important to me. Being unable to let Luc go despite hating him isn’t the same as wanting you two in my life. ”
“Good, because we want you in our lives, too.” Ollie smiled softly, and Harper nodded.
“Your history with Luc goes so far back that I can’t even imagine it.
That’s not all going to disappear. Wanting to hear Luc out doesn’t mean you’re okay with what he did.
I get that. You’d never condone his actions, and what you decide to do about your brother isn’t going to affect your friendship with me. ”
“Me either,” Harper agreed.
Onyx’s heart almost gave out at the sheer compassion. “You two are better than any of us deserve.”
“Hardly.” Harper rolled his immaculately done-up eyes.
“No, you are. And you deserve my love. Unlike my brother.”
“Luc doesn’t deserve your love,” Ash rumbled, setting his sandwich aside. “But he loved you, Onyx. I can’t speak to any of his feelings now, but back in the Eternal Realm, I know he did. You don’t really think he loved me more than you, do you?”
Onyx’s pulse skipped. “What?”
Ash shrugged. “Isn’t that why you can’t stand me?”
Onyx stiffened in Nico’s arms. “That’s what you think?”
“You’ve said it before, and you always seemed jealous of me and Luc.”
Onyx squirmed. “I was. His love for you was different. He chose you. But that’s not what bothered me.” Fuck this was hard. Onyx reached for Nico’s reassuring presence and found nothing but encouragement radiating off his mate. “It wasn’t all about Luc. I wanted you to like me, too.”
“I do like you,” Ash said automatically.
“Do you? If I wasn’t Luc’s little tag-along brother, would you have cared? We wouldn’t have been friends at all.”
Ash turned to Harper, a pleading glint in his eye, and Harper squeezed his knee.
Ash swiped a hand over his face. “I disagree. I’ll always have been Luc’s friend first—we were born the same year, and I can’t help that you’re a few centuries younger—but I want you around.
You don’t see Luc here, do you? I came to your house to see you. ”
Onyx’s insides cramped. “You did, and I appreciate that. Especially since it’s the first time you’ve sought me out without an agenda in who knows how long. I want you and Dante to see me as something other than Luc’s brother.”
“We do,” Dante said softly. “But I gather you never felt it. Maybe we did a poor job of showing it. You’re one of us, Onyx. You always have been.”
Was he? Why had he always seemed to be on the outskirts?
“I never wanted to come to Earth,” Onyx admitted in a rush, covering his face with his hands.
Nico rubbed his back, making the stunned silence almost bearable.
“You didn’t want to fall?” Harper asked.
If it were anyone else, Onyx might have stayed hidden. He lowered his hands. “I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let these assholes leave me behind.”
Ash and Dante were wide-eyed. Ash shook his head. “Fuck, Onyx. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine leaving you behind now, but back then, we were so set on our mates, you’re right. We wouldn’t have stayed for anything.”
Dante placed his uneaten cupcake on the table. “We’re glad you followed.”
“More than glad,” Ash agreed. “I’d have hated losing you. You begged us not to go. I’m sorry.”
Onyx sniffed, and Harper handed him a tissue. “It’s never felt like you wanted me here.”
Dante made a pained sound. “I’m sorry, Onyx. We do want you here. We should have done better to remind you.”
“I haven’t made it easy for you,” Onyx admitted. “But when you don’t even think to tell me something big—like a witch finding out about us—it’s hard to believe I’m part of the group.”
“Yet every time we try to include you, you push us away. There’s no excuse for not keeping you in the loop, and I get why that hurts so much, especially now, but you haven’t acted like you wanted us around in a long time.
” Dante retrieved the cupcake and took a bite. “It seemed better to give you space.”
“Fair.” Onyx couldn’t deny it. It was too petty to admit he’d been testing them. Some of the responsibility for their distance undoubtedly lay at his feet.
Yet, Nico had seen through him. He’d read Onyx’s behavior like a book and responded to the needy desires driving him. He’d also encouraged Onyx to communicate. To ask directly when he needed support rather than lash out.
Nico would always be there for him. Maybe his brothers would too. Trust between Onyx, Ash, and Dante could be rebuilt.
“You’re our brother, and it has nothing to do with Lucifer,” Ash promised.
Onyx bit his lip. “I believe you, and I’ll try to be more upfront.”
Ash seemed pleased, leaning back and relaxing. “Good. So will we, and while we’re on the subject, stop acting like I’m dumb.”
Onyx’s gut twisted. “Sorry. I didn’t think you cared about my jokes.”
“For the most part, I don’t, but enough is enough. You know, I’d never tolerate your insults if I didn’t love you. You should have figured that out.”
Onyx choked on a laugh. “Seems I’m not as clever as I thought. I’m sorry. I’ll stop. But you’re still overly muscled, and if you’re going to show off, I’m going to call you out.”
Ash flexed. “Damn right about that.”
They all laughed.
Harper threw an arm around Ash. “I like when you show off.”
“I know you do, sweet.” He planted a kiss on Harper’s cheek.
“You guys are too cute.” Ollie stood and repositioned on Dante’s lap.
“Like you aren’t,” Harper taunted.
Onyx spun in Nico’s lap and buried his face in Nico’s neck. All of them together, mated, was too much. He never imagined this was possible. He had almost everyone he’d ever needed.
Nico cradled him close, soft, loving tingles wafting off him in soothing waves.
Onyx wasn’t afraid to be this happy, this hopeful, and that was a first. Hope had always hurt. Not anymore.
“Are you ready to join the family?” he asked Nico.
“I’m already in it, little butterfly. There’s no one I’d rather be surrounded by for the rest of time.” He kissed Onyx’s nose, brown eyes shining with affection.
“Aww, you two are cuter than me and Ash,” Harper cooed.
“They so are,” Ollie agreed.
Onyx reluctantly peeked from Nico’s protective hold. “Don’t be fooled, little mates. I’m still trouble.”
“I’m counting on it.” Harper grinned like he couldn’t wait to see what trouble Onyx would bring into his life. He grabbed a container and held it out. “Sandwich?”
Onyx took one for Nico, then himself. “Not bad for a first family meal, but let me organize the next one.”
Ash cleared his throat. “I’ve already claimed our next meal. With more time, I can cook a lot better than this.”
“All right.” Onyx waved him off. “But I’ve got the one after. Dante isn’t allowed to plan family meals, or we’ll be stuck eating candy. Ollie, you’re in charge after me.”
Dante pulled his mate close. “Ollie is more than aware he’s the one in charge.”
Ollie gave Dante a sly smile.
“No surprise there.” Onyx caught Nico’s eye. “Can you believe they thought Ollie’s human friend Dex was my mate? He couldn’t handle me.”
“No, that’s my job.” Pleasure sparked down the bond.
Ollie frowned. “You and Dex wouldn’t be compatible, but I really wish he had a mate. Maybe one of the other demons will claim him.”
“Maybe.” Onyx was curious if they’d all start pairing off. It hadn’t seemed any more likely that demons would find their mates just because some of them had, but there was an interconnectedness to all this that he’d never anticipated.
Onyx hoped Dex found a mate for Ollie’s sake. It would be hard for Ollie to lose his friend. Ollie deserved the world as much as any of them.
As they ate, Onyx remembered the letter he’d brought inside. There had been no postmark, and Scott usually texted. Curious, he sent the envelope flying over with a flick of his wrist.
“Who’s that from?” Nico asked.
“Who knows?” Onyx ripped it open and unfolded the paper.
Luc’s familiar script greeted him.
I’m here for you if you’ll have me, brother, but if you need time, I understand.
The note was signed with a stylized L and a phone number. Luc hadn’t walked away.
“He really wants to try, doesn’t he?”
“I think so,” Nico said. “Putting the ball in your court makes me think he’s genuine. If he had an agenda, he’d be pushing it, whatever it was.”
“Perhaps. This also leaves the work to me. I have to risk reaching out.”
“Isn’t this him reaching out?”
Onyx refolded the note and set it aside. “I suppose.” He still couldn’t take anything Luc did at face value. He had hope, but no less doubt than ever.
Nico threaded their fingers together. “Take your time deciding what you want to do. There’s no rush. No one’s life is at risk. You don’t have to give him anything you don’t want to.”
Onyx chose to lean into hope. “Maybe I don’t have to, but I want everything. I want you, all three of my brothers mated, and everything between us healed. I’ve never let myself want so much. Finding you opened me up, and I can’t close back off.”
“Then don’t. I’ll be here for you every step of the way, guarding your heart and taking excellent care of you. There’s nothing we can’t face together.”
Onyx closed his eyes and let himself imagine that future.
Nico was right. Together, there were no limits but the ones they set themselves.