Chapter 22
He returned to the cabin with Keith and Debbie’s packs. Both had been swept clean by agents and were deemed safe, since the drug hadn’t gone airborne.
Waiting for information proved tormenting.
Rafe didn’t seem any better at it than she did.
He went outside, checked the property and his bike, then came back inside.
Finally, around five o’clock, she suggested going into town for dinner.
Neither of them had eaten much today. She remembered the breakfast she’d interrupted.
Utterly exhausted, she felt as if weeks had passed instead of hours.
Keith and Debbie had headed to the vet clinic to check on their dog. Rafe agreed on dinner in town. But today was the last day of the bike run. Most of the bars and restaurants were packed with bikers celebrating. Tomorrow, Sunday, they’d be leaving.
Sunday, Diana and Paul’s wedding day.
They finally found a restaurant not overrun by locals or bikers.
Nestled on the edge of a backroad about thirty minutes from town, and ringed by the peaks of the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Country Diner resembled a throwback to the days of jiving jukeboxes.
Rebellious tufts of weeds sprang up in the cracked asphalt of the parking lot.
Peeling, sun-bleached letters on the sign proudly announced today’s special was honey fried chicken.
Suddenly hungry, Allison had a hankering for fried chicken. Or fried anything, as long as it didn’t move on her plate.
They parked and went inside, a silver bell over the door announcing their arrival. Everyone looked up, looked at them and then returned to their meals. A vintage jukebox warbled out a country tune about a man missing his dog and his girl.
Rafe headed for a vinyl booth patched with duct tape at the window, far from the other four diners, and sat facing the door. Bacon, coffee and fried chicken smells all mingled together, accenting her hunger.
The waitress handed them grease-splattered menus and took their drink orders.
While waiting, Rafe drummed his fingers on the linoleum table. A lock of dark hair fell over his brow. Intense, brooding, he looked ready for action.
Restless herself, Allison called Paul again. Voicemail. Maybe he’d gotten a late flight and neglected to tell her. She left another message.
He set down the menu. “Who are you calling?”
“Paul. Still no answer, which is odd. Unless he flew into Raleigh and is driving south to Georgia.”
“Why would he do that?”
“He owns a small factory for his furniture business in Randall. It’s in western North Carolina.”
To her surprise, the fried chicken was crisp and juicy, dripping with flavor, not grease. Allison focused on eating, not wanting to answer questions she knew he had for her. Certainly not here, where the other diners kept eyeballing them like aliens who’d landed in their midst.
Still, this silence bothered her. “I’m not one for artery-clogging chicken, but this is tasty. Usually I’ll grab whatever I can while I’m working. There’s a cute Cuban place near my apartment. I bet you’ve eaten there.”
He scowled. “I bet not. I seldom eat Cuban food.”
Allison blinked and sipped her tea. “You’re Cuban and you don’t like Cuban food?”
“I like American food. Hamburgers and chicken.”
“Next you’ll tell me you don’t like soccer.”
“I’m into American football. Not soccer.”
Another surprise. “Why? I mean, your family is Cuban.”
Rafe toyed with his fork. “My dad was American. Jeff Jones. Thus my middle name.”
“Was?”
He looked away. “You heard the story from my grandmother. Dad was a patrol officer in Miami. Got shot and killed when I was twelve. Drug bust gone wrong.”
Suddenly she understood, perhaps because she’d felt the same kind of purpose and calling.
“And that’s why you became an FBI agent. Your family must be proud of you.”
He snorted. “They expected me to join the family business, not be a cop like my dad. My mama especially hated the fact I wanted to follow in my old man’s footsteps.
They kept nagging me to change professions, even though I’ve advanced through the ranks to become an SSA.
I’ve thought about changing careers, but it felt all wrong. ”
Allison wiped her mouth, gambling on not triggering him. But she felt the need to point out the obvious, even if he couldn’t see it himself.
“Because you want to go after the bad guys, the drug dealers who kill innocents. You want justice for his death. By following in his footsteps, you’re making up for losing him, and you feel you can never measure up until you catch Hernandez.”
Rafe glared at her, his dark brows drawn together. He looked ready to leap across the table. Allison lifted her chin, waited for a response.
“Never, ever use Hernandez and my father in the same sentence. My dad was a hero. Hernandez is a spineless coward who took out two of my men. Two good agents with families who will never be the same again.”
He shoved aside his plate of half-eaten chicken. Allison plucked a leg off the plate and gnawed at it.
“You’re one to walk, Lexington. You’re a nurse who’s stuck to her sister’s side out of misplaced obligation for her life for the rest of her damn life.”
The chicken suddenly tasted like cardboard. She set down the leg carefully. “What did you say?”
“You’re not her keeper. You keep defending her as if she’s a saint. She’s a grown woman, Allison.”
She bristled. She didn’t want to hear the truth. Hell, she didn’t know what she wanted. “I saved my sister’s life and...”
Suddenly the stress of the day kicked her in the gut as if she were reliving the past all over again. Allison scrubbed at her face, trying to hold the tears at bay.
“She’s all I have.”
He turned contrite, his expression softening. “We’ll find her. But you have to let go at some point. You’re not responsible for her actions.”
“I am! It’s because of me...”
“What?”
Now she did wipe away a stray tear. “I almost didn’t do it. Didn’t save her.”
He didn’t say anything.
“When the kayak flipped, she screamed for me to help her. I-I hesitated. My sister needed me and I froze. She was going under, her head bobbing up and down and I was treading water, thinking only of myself. How I didn’t want to die.
There was a tree branch that caught her and it held her for a minute, enough time for me to come to the realization that if I didn’t try, I’d watch my only sister drown. ”
“Ally, you saved her,” he said gently.
“But I almost didn’t!”
“Cut yourself some slack.”
“I can’t! My parents would have died if Di drowned. They always loved her more than me, and if I let her die...”
Her voice dropped. “They wouldn’t love me anymore. Not that they seemed to care much about me anyway compared to Di.”
“Did they ever say they loved you?”
“Yes, but...”
Rafe shook his head. “Stop beating yourself up. You’ve spent your entire life trying to make up for the fact you had a human moment, Ally. You did save your sister. You can’t save everyone.”
She gave a smile filled with misery. “I can try. Isn’t that why you do what you do? Because if we stop trying, and let the bad guys win, or the car accidents or the diseases or injuries, who’s going to stop it? If good people like you don’t care, then evil wins.”
His mouth worked as if he struggled with something. Inner demons, perhaps, like she did. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“I saw that on a YouTube vid. Or maybe it was a commercial for beer.”
Rafe smiled. “You’re something else, Lexington.”
“So are you, Rodriguez.”
His cell phone pinged. Glancing at it, he groaned. “Sorry, have to take this.”
A volley of Spanish ensued, too rapid for her to understand. Amused, she realized his family was checking up on him.
When he hung up and returned to her, she smirked. “Telling your family you’re having a wonderful time isn’t exactly the truth.”
Rafe’s gaze remained steady. “I’m with you. You make life wonderful, Ally.”
Allison didn’t know how to respond. She studied his face, his intent expression, and suddenly everything fell into place.
Rafe truly cared. Her heart thudded hard with unexpected joy.
“You’re a smooth talker,” she said lightly.
“I’m serious. I’ve never wanted to admit it all the time we’ve known each other.
I’ve tried to separate my professional needs from my personal wants, but around you, they run together.
It was more than having you as a confidential informant.
You make me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before.
Sure as hell have never worried about a CI the way I worried about you or got jealous when you flirted with members of the Devil’s Patrol. ”
“You...were jealous?” Her heart did a happy little flip-flop.
He nodded. “To the point where when Jase told me you kissed him, I wanted to yank you out of that assignment. If anyone was going to kiss you, I wanted it to be me.”
“It meant nothing to me. I was playing a role. Jase and I both were.” A tiny doubt filled her. “What about you? Was what we had in bed just...for fun and kicks?”
Please don’t be like the other guys. Please.
“With me it’s the real deal.” Reaching for her hand, he held her gaze.
All her innermost longings broke to the surface. For years she’d run away from feelings, resolved to remain apart and never risk having her heart shattered again. Never daring to fully be herself and show men any vulnerability because they saw her as strong, and couldn’t take advantage of her.
Rafe was different. He broke down her barriers, peeled back her prickly layers and wasn’t afraid to tell her how he felt. With him, she could express her fears as well as her dreams.
They connected on a level more than sexual. It went deeper, despite the doubts she had about him regarding her sister.
“I feel the same, Rafe. What I feel for you is genuine,” she said softly.
For a moment, they said nothing, simply held hands. This was sweet. Nice. She could be herself around Rafe.
“I always thought your family and the job were everything to you.”
“I need more than the job and my family. I’m getting older, and my brush with death last year was a wake-up call I wanted to ignore, until now.”
What would he say if he knew she had firsthand knowledge of that encounter with death? Allison sipped some tea. “At least your family cares what happens to you. My parents only care about Di. They hover over her. Never bother with me.”
He looked thoughtful. “Have you ever considered maybe they worry more about her because she’s not as independent?”
It had occurred to her, but the insight made her uneasy. Because it meant that all this time, she’d unjustly thought of her parents as cold and indifferent.
She pulled her hand away. “Have you ever considered your family worries about you because you have a job that exposes you to constant danger?”
He gave her a level look. “I don’t want to discuss my family.”
“And I don’t want to discuss my parents. Okay? Leave my family out of it. I can handle my life.”
The sweet intensity vanished. The moment was gone as if it never existed. “Let’s finish and get out of here.”
Yes, let’s do that. But suddenly she wanted to cry, because she felt she was throwing out a chance for happiness.
I don’t deserve to be happy. Not now. How could I be happy when Di could be lying in a ditch someplace?