Destined To Fall (Reluctant lovers #1)

Chapter Seventeen

It should be a typical Thursday night for me, except it isn ’ t. I ’ m a total disaster and all…bajiggity. What does that even mean, anyway? It ’ s a good word , though. Gah, focus!

These past few days I ’ ve been completely off. I can ’ t concentrate. I can ’ t exercise, which is not normal at all, plus I ’ m refusing to message Jeremy. It ’ s tougher than I thought it would be.

I knock on the hotel suite door and shake myself. I ’ ve got three point two seconds to get my shit together before—

“ Goddamn, Vivienne, ” Trevor greets me. Every. Single Time.

“ Good evening, Mr. Johnson.” His preferred reference, which isn ’ t even his real name, but whatever. “ I hope you ’ ve stretched, because I ’ m gonna work you like a stripper pole on Topless Tuesday.”

“ Oh, fuck, that ’ s it!” Trevor moans when I switch it up for the third time tonight, riding him harder than a granite countertop. “ Yeah, Vivienne. Damn, you ’ re on fire!”

He ’ s not kidding. If I grind him any faster, we ’ re likely to ignite—we ’ ve been at it that long. For the last forty-three minutes, hell, from the moment I walked into the hotel room, I ’ ve been desperate to get some kind of reaction from my body, but I might as well be numb. I have a maximum of seven minutes before he blows, making it game over for at least the next sixteen, at which point I should give up. But I ’ ve been pumping and grinding to the max this whole evening. I doubt he ’ ll bounce back a fourth time, which will ruin any and all chances of me getting off.

“ Don ’ t quit on me yet. I ’ m not finished with you.”

I grip his palms, and he grunts again when I pull him forward and lean back, my hair brushing his bare feet while I swirl my hips up and around, but that ’ s not cutting it either. So I haul myself up, pushing him down at the same time I grip one of his knees, lifting it toward my hip. I twist on him, bringing a leg across his torso to ride him sideways, grinding against his thigh, and I finally feel something, a twinge—though it could be friction burn—but I ’ m not a quitter, and I refuse to let go of my elusive O. Instead, I fuck him like there ’ s no tomorrow. Because for me, there might as well be.

“ Agh, shit …” Trevor shudders, his eyes closing tight as he digs his fingers into my thigh.

“ Seriously? Already?” No, no, no …

His whole body trembles twice before he opens his eyes and looks at me.

“ You ’ re kidding, right? Like I would ’ ve lasted any longer with you riding me that hard and fast. And your leg rubbing against my balls,” he shivers, and his eyes glaze, giving him this dopey, drunk look.

Just peachy .

I clamber off him, saving myself at the last second before falling flat on my face and breaking my nose. Thankfully, Trevor is so out of it in his thoroughly fucked stupor, he misses that elegant display of skill, so I don ’ t bother saying goodbye. He wouldn ’ t hear me if I did, and our time was up half an hour ago , anyway. I leave him on the floor in his daze and gather my scattered clothes, putting them on as I head out. I have somewhere I need to be, stat.

I pound on the front door, my knuckles wincing with the force, and count to five before I do it again. It ’ s not typical in my line of work to get off, or even to enjoy it, but hell, I do— did. It ’ s the sole reason I do this, and the money , of course. At least I can say I like what I do, unlike a lot of others I know.

Keep telling yourself that.

“ Jeremy. Open up!”

I hear him groan and curse before he reaches the door, opening it.

“ Damn it, Vivienne, do you have any idea what time…” He trails off as the door opens wide, his eyes bugging out at the sight of me. Well, my attire anyway. He has yet to look at my face, which is a first , I think.

I ’ m quietly fuming, my hands on my hips, and the tighter-than-skin corset I ’ m bursting out of is stressed and straining with my laborious breathing. Why am I so flustered? I ’ m giving him an eyeful for only the second time in our friendship.

“ You ’ ve got a little drool there,” I bite out harsher than I intend and push my way past him into his apartment. I hate when he looks at me like that. Like I ’ m water in the desert, and he wants nothing more than to drink every last drop. I hate it further still when it makes my blood sing and my skin prickle. Without fail, every single time.

“ Sure, no worries. Please, just come right on in.”

I disregard his facetious tone as I clear the entryway and remove my coat, draping it over one of his barstools in the kitchen. Why, I don ’ t know. I have no intention of staying.

“ Why are you here at two in the morning, Vivienne?” His tone is gruff, curt even.

“ I finished work and—”

“ Some of us have real jobs that require sleep to be fresh-faced and ready to go at seven a.m.” Ouch . “ Sorry,” he cringes, “ that was a little uncalled for. I was trying to sleep, Viv.”

“ Yeah, I can see that.” I smirk, taking in his appearance for the first time, relieved to find he put on a robe before answering the door. His bare feet are having enough of an impact on my racing heart. A naked chest—now that I couldn ’ t handle. It doesn ’ t stop me from picturing it, though. Damn it .

“ Something amusing?”

“ I ’ m still surprised you don ’ t sleep nude.”

He tilts his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. “ Do you think about me naked a lot?”

I scoff.

God, he has no idea . I keep my gaze on his face and fight the urge to roam my eyes down the length of him to his long, toned feet. He chuckles to himself, no doubt noticing me squirm under his probing eyes, and heads to the kitchen.

“ So, Vivienne. ” My name rolls off his tongue like silk over skin, sending an involuntary chill down my spine. “ To what do I owe the pleasure of your company at this ungodly hour? You ’ re not one for social calls, not to mention we aren ’ t exactly on speaking terms. Drink?” His curt tone is smoother than molten steel.

“ No. I mean, no thank you.”

“ Tea, then?”

“ Yeah, okay.”

By the time Jeremy hands me the steaming cup of amber liquid, all the fight has seeped out of me, making me agitated. I can ’ t sit still. I ’ m so on edge . My foot is twitching with every erratic heartbeat. I can ’ t remember the last time my body was so attuned to someone else ’ s presence. I can sense him. Every minuscule movement stirs the air around him, around me, making my pulse buzz along my skin, every cell in my body wanting nothing more than to jump him. I try telling myself it ’ s because I can ’ t have him, and that ’ s the only reason I want him, but it ’ s becoming a losing battle.

“ If I didn ’ t know better, I ’ d presume you were high, or coming down.”

I pause. “ What?”

“ You ’ re…electric. Your whole body is twitching. Are you high?”

“ No. ”

Yet I ’ m wondering if that ’ s true. I feel drugged, out of control, and dirty. So dirty, my stomach turns with the awareness of someone else ’ s scent lingering on me. Why am I here? God, what is wrong with me?

“ But I ’ ve clearly lost my mind.” I shake my head. “ I ’ m sorry . I shouldn ’ t have woken you. You were right. You have a real job. I need to go.”

“ Viv, I didn ’ t mean it like that.”

I give Jeremy a weak smile and reach for my coat, but before I can make my way to the door, Jeremy puts himself in my path.

“ Hey. Stop.”

I try to sidestep him, but he reaches for my arm, and I flinch. The hurt that flashes across his face cuts me to the quick.

“ Shit,” I mutter, emotions boiling under the surface. I ’ m seconds from bursting into freaking tears. What the hell? I swallow hard and try for an explanation. “ It ’ s not like that. It ’ s definitely not like that.” I ’ ve never needed someone to touch me more. I ’ m not foolish enough to say that aloud, thankfully. The corners of his eyes crinkle as he stares at me, and I avert my gaze, embarrassed for the first time. “ I came straight from…work.”

The unspoken words hang in the air like fog. Neither one of us says anything, the minutes ticking by. I chance a look up . My gaze finds his, and the last thing I expect to see is looking back at me. There ’ s no disgust or anger in his expression. Just plain curiosity. The longer I stare at him, the more agitated I become.

“ What are you looking at me like that for?”

His lip curves up in a knowing smirk, and I glower.

“ Why are you here?”

“ I came over to yell at you.” Oh. No…

I watch as he tries to even out his features, hiding his amusement, but his eyes are still sparkling with entertainment.

“ Is that right?”

“ Yes. ” I fold my arms over my chest.

“ And you ’ re going to leave before telling me off?”

“ It can wait…I ’ m exhausted,” I throw at him with a crooked grin. But he ’ s not buying it. Damn it .

“ Vivienne, ” he purrs, “ why are you only now exhausted? You came all the way here after—wait, straight after?” He pauses, looking at me pointedly, and a little warmth fills my cheeks, stupidly giving him the answer he seeks. “ That ’ s why you wouldn ’ t let me touch you?” His eyebrows shoot for his hairline, and he takes a step closer.

I take one back, shaking my head, and another, until I realize I ’ m walking backward with every one of Jeremy ’ s approaching steps.

“ Yes,” I whisper.

“ Sit.”

“ Why—” I ’ m cut off as I collapse onto the armchair that miraculously appeared behind my knees.

“ Good girl.”

“ Hey!”

He smirks again, placing an arm on either side of the chair, caging me in, and my pulse spikes dangerously high.

“ Tell me why you ’ re here.”

“ I told you. To…to yell at you.”

“ And why, pray tell, was it so important that you headed straight here at two a.m. after days of no communication?”

“ It wasn ’ t. That ’ s why I was leaving. Am leaving.”

“ Vivienne. ”

“ Goddamn it, I can ’ t come, and it ’ s all your fault! You broke me.”

His eyes go wide, and for a moment , I think he ’ s not going to respond. God help me, I want to take the words back and crawl under the nearest rock, but the smug satisfaction that replaces the surprise makes me want to punch him in the face instead.

“ Is that so?”

I say nothing, scowling in response.

“ And how did I manage this?”

“ You know damn well what you did, what you said.”

“ What do you want me to do about it?”

“ I…” The challenge in his tone is plain, and a million and one images flash through my head of him and me, every which way, for hours, days, weeks…

He cocks his head to the side, waiting, and I swallow back my retort, unwilling to say what I want him to do.

“ Nothing. I wanted to tell you you ’ re a jackass. Mission accomplished. Now I ’ m leaving. Good night, Jer.”

I rise, but Jeremy doesn ’ t move, putting our faces an inch apart. God, he ’ s so close the heat from his skin is scorching mine.

“ Lie.”

“ What?”

“ You ’ re lying.”

“ You are a jackass. That ’ s not a lie.”

“ Maybe.” He pauses, his gaze raking over my body. “ But not the lie, however. I can see your pulse racing, your breath coming faster, harder. You ’ re not telling the whole truth. It ’ s written all over your body, what you want, so why lie about it?”

“ Are you going to take me right here, right now?” The wicked glint in his eyes flickers, morphing right in front of me to the deepest, darkest blue. “ No? Yeah, I didn ’ t think so. So, unless you plan to put your wants into action and make good on those words of yours, what the hell is the point?”

He doesn ’ t blink —he doesn ’ t even breathe—but more importantly ; he doesn ’ t say a thing.

“ Are we done here? Can I go home now?”

“ Home? ”

“ Yes, home.”

“ Home to what, your fingers? What are you more mad about? That you can ’ t get off, or that you can ’ t get off with me?”

I scoff again at that. “ I have more toys than an FAO Schwarz. My arsenal is well stocked. I think I ’ ll manage.”

“ And if they still leave you unsatisfied?”

The thought never crossed my mind. It ’ s never been an issue before, so why would it be now? But the complete numbness from earlier comes flooding to the surface of my cortex, practically slapping me with the force. Not a single flicker . I felt absolutely zilch, and that ’ s never happened either.

“ So? ”

His mouth opens as if to speak, but his gaze drops to my lips, and he freezes. My whole body electrifies in an instant, the need to taste him overwhelming, and time warps as I ’ m slammed with possibility, the next ten seconds playing out in vivid Technicolor before I can stop it.

My hand snakes around the back of his neck, gripping the short tendrils of hair tightly while bringing his lips to mine, obliterating the minuscule distance between us in a nanosecond. His tongue sweeps my bottom lip, making me moan, then he thrusts in with such force I lose the ability to breathe, sending uncontrollable shivers and pulses of pleasure throughout my body. My leg comes up to wrap around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, until his want, his need, throbs against me…

I swallow hard and snap out of it, trying and failing to put more distance between us.

“ I need…to go.”

Jeremy ’ s gaze shoots up, and I see my prurient thoughts staring back at me. He hangs his head, closing his eyes tightly, and pulls back a few inches, allowing me space to breathe, but it ’ s not enough. All I feel, all I smell, is him. I ’ ve never been so aroused in all my life. If he actually touches me, I ’ ll burst into flames right here in his living room, rendered to a pile of ash and ciders smoldering on his floor.

Seconds pass, or maybe minutes, before he nods, still not opening his eyes or letting me up. I ’ m about to protest when he shakes his head.

“ No. ” He swallows hard and looks up, piercing me with…with everything. I can ’ t breathe, I can ’ t move, I can ’ t think. “ I can ’ t let you leave, not like this.”

“ But you can ’ t touch me,” I blurt out. I stupidly blurt out, cursing all these can ’ ts when all I want is to do, do, do. Damn it, damn me, and damn not showering before I came. Ha .

His lip curls on one side, and fuck , I want to kiss that salacious grin off his stupid, boyish face.

“ I ’ m not going to touch you.” The disappointment is crippling, but also mildly relieving. “ I think that would be a very, very bad idea.” I don ’ t disagree, but I can ’ t help my wicked grin at his words. Bad is my middle name. “ You ’ re going to do it for me.”