Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jeremy kisses the top of my wet hair again and eases back, taking in my splotchy face. He says nothing, simply lifts a loofah and shrugs as if to say, may I ?
I nod and give him a tentative smile.
Moving me a little to his side, Jeremy suds up the loofah and starts with my upper body before moving down my torso and across my stomach. Placing my hands on his shoulders, he crouches down to do my lower half.
He cleans every inch of me so slowly, so meticulously, and with so much care and concern, I ’ ve never felt so…cherished. But he stumbles when he gets to my nether region, and the first true smile breaks out across my face as I take the loofah from him. I make quick work of it myself, scrubbing a little harder than necessary, as Jeremy soaps himself up behind me, blessedly distracted from my wincing.
We rinse off just before the water goes completely cold and shuffle out of the shower. I manage to stand on my own, and Jeremy wraps me up in a fluffy gray towel, completely engulfing me in it.
“ These towels are huge. Were they made for giants? Because you are not that…” I mumble mainly to myself, languishing in its soft comfort before my gaze shifts to Jeremy ’ s dripping wet form, and I lose all train of thought. “ Buff …” His boxers cling to his thick, muscular thighs and tight, rounded ass, the most delicious fuck-me dimples begging for—
Jeremy chuckles softly, turning further away as he wraps his own towel around his waist, cutting off my perusal, and slides his boxers down his legs. A shiver runs down the length of my body as I watch, riveted. Jeremy turns, throwing them into the open shower, and I drag my gaze slowly back to his face. So slowly , in fact, I could have counted each drop of water running down his perfectly buff chest. The chest I was pressed against, completely naked and oblivious, only moments before , for who knows how long.
What a waste.
Now this would be the moment I ’ d drop my towel with a well-practiced ‘ oops ’ , leaving no one in any doubt as to exactly what I was thinking or wanting. And what I want is Jeremy. So badly it hurts. My meds have well and truly kicked in, the food has given me a little pep I didn ’ t have when I woke up, but in all honesty, I think it ’ s Jeremy that ’ s given me strength. Holding me while I purged my soul. I don ’ t even remember the last time I cried. Never so hard or for so long, yet it needs to be said that there is something about a good long sob-fest that ’ s hella cathartic.
But I can ’ t lie; there ’ s still a part of me that ’ s feeling raw, damaged, and vulnerable. A little drained and a whole lot empty in parts.
Staring at Jeremy just now, though, I feel none of those things. I feel energized, with the familiar current of electricity running under my skin that is always present when I ’ m with him. The more I look at him, the more I need him, crave him. My body is practically singing with want for this man, even after…everything. I want him so fiercely, it ’ s overwhelming.
Jeremy ’ s gaze narrows slightly as he clearly notices mine ogling him unabashedly, and an unfamiliar realization washes over me, practically dousing my flaming desire. I ’ m no better than the sleazy men I admonish, leering at me like I ’ m their own personal buffet. I ’ ve been objectifying Jeremy like he ’ s a piece of meat I ’ d like nothing more than to sink my teeth into since the day I met him.
Fuck .
“ Sorry…” I mutter, turning my head, my cheeks heating, but Jeremy laughs. Full-belly, partly hysterical laughs. I turn back around and frown at him. “ I apologize for drooling all over you, and you laugh? Gee, thanks. Ass.”
“ There she is,” Jeremy says , almost to himself, his lip twitching up to one side. “ When have you ever apologized for—well, anything—but how did you put it? Drooling over me?”
“ Now. I ’ m apologizing now, asshat. I know where you stand, and I need to respect that and stop wanting something I can never have. But damn it, you ’ re dripping wet and naked! You ’ re killin ’ me, Smalls. ”
Jeremy ’ s gaze turns dark, and if I ’ m not mistaken, hungry. My damn nipples pucker painfully as he continues to stare at me without saying another word. The silence thickens, charges, and I realize a little too late that somewhere in the middle of my rant, I threw my hands about and knocked my towel off. I ’ m standing buck fucking naked, dripping wet.
Oops .
The spell breaks a fraction as Jeremy steps forward, bridging the distance between us, and crouches down in front of me.
“ Jeremy, what…what are you doing?”
Taking the towel pooled at my feet in his hands, Jeremy glides it slowly up the backs of my calves. A soft, breathy sound escapes my lips as his fingers brush against my skin, the towel moving ever higher as they do. Jeremy sinks his teeth into his bottom lip briefly before he releases it and stands, moving the towel up my hips, his hands sliding firmly over my backside to my waist.
Never taking his eyes from mine, Jeremy brings the towel to its final place, his palms resting against my ribs. Wrapping the towel around my chest, my heart pounding frantically beneath, he presses one end under an armpit, hesitating before tucking the other between my breasts. My breath hitches and my lips part, and his gaze drops to them as his fingers graze the sensitive skin above the fabric ’ s edge in a barely-there caress.
I shudder, or tremble, but before I can break the tense moment and speak, Jeremy scoops me up into his arms, the towel now firmly wrapped around me, his gaze searing me from the inside out as our faces become inches apart.
I ’ m breathless and thoughtless by the time Jeremy places me on the bed as he once again falls to his knees before me. The sight is enough to undo me.
“ I want to replace all the pain, all the memories,” Jeremy says intently, taking my hand in his and kissing the inside of my palm so adoringly my body swims with mixed emotions. “ I want to be what you remember. I want to be all you remember.” His tongue comes out to lick around my wrist, causing a shiver and goosebumps to break out. “ Every inch of your body, I want to write my name on it.”
“ Jeremy—” It comes out as a moan or a groan or some kind of plea, but Jeremy cuts me off, taking my face in his hands and crushing his lips to mine.
It hurts. The cut on my lip is still raw and the bruise to my jaw still tender, but I ’ m practically panting when I pull away, my heart slamming against my ribcage. Jeremy barely gives me a moment ’ s pause, only long enough to search my eyes for something before his mouth is on me again. Begging for acceptance.
I couldn ’ t deny him if I wanted to. I want him too badly. I need him too much. And if his lips are all I can have, then I ’ m going to take them, take all of them!
Fuck the consequences.
I kiss him back with equal force, but unlike our previous lip-locks, this is all emotion, all precision, all sensuality, and none of the crazed, almost desperate frenzy of our others. The hunger and heat are still present, but they ’ re not ruling this kiss; they ’ re simmering under the surface, hiding below a feeling I can ’ t put a name to. An emotion I don ’ t recognize.
Without warning, Jeremy breaks the kiss, moving his lips to my jaw, cheek, eyelids, kissing almost every inch of my face. He nips at my earlobe, then trails kisses down my neck, stopping only to run his tongue along my collarbone, making good on his words.
I melt.
I swoon.
I die a little. But he continues down my arm, kissing the tips of my fingers before coming back up and across the edge of the towel to repeat it all on the other arm.
Grinning softly, he lets go of my hand and rocks back on his feet, taking one of mine in his warm palms, eyes locking with mine. I mumble something incoherent when he kisses the tips of my toes, then runs his tongue along my instep before pressing his lips to the heel of my foot.
I all but purr at the contact, my eyelids fluttering closed, turning even further into mush and a pool of lust, steadying myself with my arms behind me, holding me up.
But Jeremy doesn ’ t stop there, using his lips to caress the sensitive skin of my ankle, driving me into full delirium as he leisurely runs them up the length of my shin to circle my kneecap with his tongue before kissing the bottom of my thigh. When he doesn ’ t continue upward, but repeats each movement on the other side, my eyes close and I suck in a ragged breath, savoring each delicious touch, ready to slide off the bed and drown at his knees.
My eyes open, and I find Jeremy still watching me intently. I lose all rational thought when he slides the towel up to the tops of my parted legs, almost revealing me completely. Breaking eye contact, his gaze drops, and his lips and tongue once more take over, kissing each bruise on the tops of my thighs so tenderly, so reverently. His hands slide up and under to my bare hip bones, and my buzz shifts, a nervous, uncomfortable feeling skittering across my skin. Jeremy notices, of course, and I want to fall back and bury my face beneath my arms when he stills, uncertainty taking over his features.
He rises slowly, pulling his hands free of my towel, and I can see the apology poised behind his lips. I sit back up and grip his wrists a little hard, stilling his movements and stalling his words, mine eluding me as I shake my head fervently, swallowing the wince that follows, and move his palms back to my thighs.
We are nose to nose again, mere inches apart, but whatever he sees in my face has him taking in a shuddering breath before he turns his hands, then runs his palms gently up my arms.
“ Vivienne …” I close my eyes at the pained note in his tone, the rawness of it. He cups my face gently, his warm breath fanning my face as he whispers. “ Stay with me, baby.”
A small smile twists my lips at the endearment, but before anything else can be said, he kisses me sweetly, his lips a soft, heart-melting brush.
“ Jeremy,” I breathe out when he pulls back, a small nod answering the unspoken question in his eyes.
Relief briefly crosses his boyish face, but it morphs into a soft, cheeky grin as his hands slide to the edge of the towel tucked between my breasts. Jeremy tugs on the edge, and the towel parts dramatically to pool around my hips.
Heat and hunger take over his features as his gaze zeros in on my breasts and their rapid rise and fall, my nipples pebbling as he continues to stare.
“ I have a confession to make,” he says. “ I ’ ve fantasized about these.”
I grin and bite my lip, trying not to picture the lingering marks, and focus on Jeremy ’ s slight tremble as he punctuates his words by running a finger around the curve of my breast, his cheeks warming ever so slightly.
It ’ s possibly the cutest, sexiest little interaction I ’ ve ever had, and for some silly reason, it makes me hot all over. Normally I might laugh, and part of me wants to, to tease him a little, make him squirm and blush a violent shade of red, but I don ’ t.
“ Show me?”
Two simple words, but they seem to change everything.
Jeremy ’ s hands move at lightning speed, my breath catching in my chest as he grips my sides tightly. His thumbs brush the sensitive skin under my breasts as he pulls me closer to the edge of the bed, my legs parting, allowing him to move closer, almost meshing our upper bodies, my nipples hitting his bare chest, sending jolts of pleasure south.
My lips part, and it ’ s all the invitation Jeremy needs to take my mouth in another passionate kiss. He breaks it, leaving me breathless and hungry once more, but before I can capture his mouth again, he ’ s sucking on my neck, my collarbone, kissing the swell of my breasts.
The stubble on his jaw does delicious things to my sensitive skin as he moves further down, running his hands up my back to keep me in place as he kisses my breasts, sucks and nips my nipples like a starving man, keeping his word and replacing all memories with him and him alone.
Jeremy pauses to trace a finger from the little indent at my throat to my navel. My back bows and my head falls back with the sensation. Following the path with his mouth once again, he trails open-mouthed kisses around, under, and down my breasts and across my ribs at a slow, agonizing pace as he holds me in place. When his tongue circles my navel, I lose my ever-loving mind, falling back on the bed as his hands slide from around my back to nestle on my hips.
An undignified groan escapes me, prompting Jeremy to smile against my stomach. He continues ravishing the taut skin, leaving no inch untouched before nipping at each of my hip bones, my breath hitching each time.
I ’ m almost embarrassed by how turned on I am. Every brush of his lips and caress of his tongue turns my insides into molten liquid and increases the throbbing between my thighs. The stubble on his chin tickles and scratches in the most maddening way as he runs his tongue and lips across my lower abdomen, right above where the towel still sits pooled and an inch higher than where my body is all but begging for attention.
Slowly—so, so slowly—Jeremy ’ s hands once again slide over my hips and the tops of my thighs, parting the towel and giving him full access.
“ God, you ’ re perfect,” he whispers , more to himself than to me, his lips brushing against my left inner thigh, whisper soft, and then again on the right, lingering on another mark, no doubt.
I ’ m lost in sensation, in emotions, in him. I ’ m swimming so deeply in it, all of it, that I ’ m slow to react, slow to realize where he ’ s headed, where this is headed.
My head lifts in time to lock eyes with Jeremy ’ s hooded gaze as his lips press to—
“ Jer! ” I gasp out, my thighs clenching around his ears.
“ Do you not want this?”
I break out in goosebumps at the heat and need in his tone, at the way his warm breath kisses my skin, and at the sight of Jeremy on his knees with his face between my thighs. Holy mother above.
It takes two thunderous heartbeats before I can respond.
“ Shouldn ’ t I be asking you?” It comes out almost as a pant. “ Are you sure you want to go here? I mean…you don ’ t…I don ’ t need this.”
“ Yes, I ’ m asking you. And I ’ ve never wanted to do anything more. Your scent is intoxicating.” He punctuates his statement by tracing his nose along my pubic bone. “ I need a taste.”
A shudder escapes me, and I fight the urge to lift my hips.
“ Oh, thank god, I was totally lying. I need you to touch me.” I might die if he doesn ’ t.
I feel his mouth grin against me at the same time a finger runs up the inside of my leg, pausing at my kneecap.
“ Like this?” His voice is a deep and husky whisper vibrating the air around me as he parts my thighs from around his ears with a gentle nudge and continues to trail the lone finger up and up and—” Or like this?”—right over my lips.
I white-knuckle his sheets, and my back bows.
Incapable of speech, all I can do is gasp and watch as he continues to stroke the length of me, over and over and over. It takes all the effort I possess not to move, not to thrust against him as he continues to torture me into an early grave with his feather-light touch.
My heart ’ s a chaotic mess in my chest. I ’ m so tightly wound, so acutely aware of my blood thrumming in my veins, I can feel it beating and pulsing everywhere. He ’ s barely touching me, and I ’ m overcome.
I ’ m about to beg, to plead, to moan that he stop when he replaces that damn lone finger with his tongue and slides between my swollen lips to press down on my aching clit.
My entire body clenches and trembles in blissful agony, a pained groan escaping me.
Jeremy doesn ’ t stop there. Gripping my thighs tightly in both hands, he lifts my legs over his shoulders, opening me up further as he drags his tongue all the way down. His moan of approval thrums against me, and using the tip of his tongue, he circles me once, twice, three times before sliding all the way in, and my breath stalls. I struggle to breathe as he thrusts his tongue in and out of me with more skill than I was prepared for, only to slowly drag it out and up the length of me to flick and suck my clit into his mouth.
Nothing has ever felt this intense, this torturous. I ’ m drowning. I ’ m desperate for more, desperate to come, desperate for it to never end.
As if he reads my mind, Jeremy slides two fingers in, making me clench tightly around them.
“ Fuck,” Jeremy groans out barely above a whisper, his eyes closing for a few long seconds before they open and lock with mine.
An undignified sound escapes me as he curls his fingers before so, so slowly dragging them out, then pushing back in. His other hand digs into my thigh as he softly slides in and out, watching my reaction.
It ’ s too much. I can ’ t watch any longer, my head falling back to the bed, my eyes closing, and my fingers death-gripping his sheets.
Jeremy continues to suck and nibble my clit, his fingers swirling and flicking my G-spot over and over as he skillfully thrusts them in and out, ravaging me so thoroughly I lose my ever-loving mind and stop him.
“ Wait, wait,” I rasp out, fully panting now.
“ What ’ s wrong?”
“ Nothing.” Everything.
“ Then… ? ” He reaches up and smooths a finger across my bottom lip, releasing the chokehold my teeth have on it.
“ I want you”—his devilish grin glistens at me —“obviously, but I mean…” What is wrong with me? I can ’ t even string a sentence together. I chuckle at how completely Jeremy ’ s obliterated me. “ Kiss me. Just kiss me…”
He pauses for only a second before taking my thighs off his shoulders and moving up my body, pressing skin to skin and wet, open-mouthed kisses on the way. My insides thrum with the feeling of his smooth skin sliding over my nipples before shocking the ever-loving shit out of me when the head of his very hard dick glides against me.
“ Oh, god, Jer.” He presses his forehead to my collarbone for a heartbeat before raising his gaze to me and scorching me with the desire in it. “ You ’ re playing a dangerous game here.”
“ Tell me this isn ’ t what you wanted.”
I open my mouth to say what, I don ’ t even know, when he captures it, sliding his tongue in rhythm with his grinding hips. I ’ m so close to coming, and he ’ s not even inside of me. The need to stave it off, to make this last as long as possible—the madness of that isn ’ t lost on me. I clench with all my might while thrusting against him, stroke for delicious stroke.
In the next instant, Jeremy turns the tide, shifting beneath me to position me on top of him, chest to chest, in a move so smooth, we don ’ t even break stride.
“ I ’ m yours, Vivienne. Completely. Take it.”
I can ’ t think, only feel, as I continue to rock against him, wishing for more when his words register. I sit up to look at his face.
“ What? You…what? What are you asking?”
“ You ’ re worth the risk, Viv.” I raise an eyebrow at his choice of words, and he grins. “ Not what I meant, but that , too. Being with you is worth the risk, but I don ’ t…I ’ m not packing.”
“ I beg to differ.” Proving my point as I slide up his length. He shudders and smirks.
“ You know what I mean.”
“ I want this, want you so badly, but I know what this means to you. Regardless of having anything, this ,”— I slide against him and lean forward, my breasts grazing against his chest, and peck him on the lips—”is enough. More than enough.”
“ What if I want more?”
“ It ’ s the lust talking. I ’ m not wo—” He cuts me off with his mouth, biting my bottom lip when he breaks the connection. The heat blazing in his eyes tells me he knew what I was going to say.
Jeremy grips my hips with force and raises them up a few inches, making me topple forward and brace myself with my palms. Before I can ask, his intention becomes apparent as he slides down the length of me, only to pause. The question in his eyes and actions is so easy to read. If you don ’ t want this…
Time stands still as I search his eyes, his face, for anything to give me the slightest indication he ’ s not one hundred percent serious. I see nothing and everything.
My answer is to shift my hips, giving him the perfect angle he needs, and he takes it, a look I can ’ t place taking over his features.
With a slowness that borders on painful, Jeremy slides the tip in bare, giving me more than I ever wanted to take. With each millimeter he gains, my body bursts with sensation and emotion. I ’ ve never been so out of control or needed control this much. It takes everything I have not to seat myself to the hilt and ride us both into oblivion.
Jeremy shudders, lips parting and eyes darkening to the deepest depths of the ocean as he stares at me with so much intensity. With one final thrust up, he pulls my hips down to meet him and buries himself completely.
I quiver and clench involuntarily, just a little, and Jeremy closes his eyes tightly , as if in pain.
“ You…you good?” Jeremy looks incapable of speech, hell, of thought in general, but he opens his eyes, and my heart stutters at the magnitude of emotion staring back at me.
His only reply is to rock his hips into me and grind, my nerve endings practically screaming with undiluted pleasure.
I kiss him, raw and hungry and desperate, taking everything from his mouth I dare not from his cock. Jeremy meets me stroke for stroke, and soon he ’ s thrusting and grinding deep within me, controlling our rhythm.
He breaks the kiss, his eyes glazed and swimming with overload. He ’ s unable to focus, and his mouth is wide in a silent moan. I shift so I can capture his face in both of my hands and bring his eyes back to mine.
“ Stay with me…baby.”
I wrap my fingers around his shaft and squeeze gently, not losing rhythm as I take over to rock and roll my hips. “ Not yet. Hold on…” I ’ m close. I ’ m so very close, but I don ’ t want this to end. I want to stay right in this moment, when everything makes complete sense and my body hums in bliss. I ’ m not ready to let go…“Not yet.” My voice hitches, just a fraction, and I know Jeremy catches it.
The lust-crazed haze leaves his face, and he sits up, bringing us chest to chest once more, and takes my face in his hands.
“ Not yet,” he agrees before kissing me so completely my mind leaves my body. I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing him closer at the same time his hands move from my face to grip my hips, bringing them down to meet his thrusts.
God, it ’ s good. It ’ s so good. It ’ s a little intense, a little too much, and yet not enough. I need…I need…
Once again, Jeremy has some magic sense and rolls me onto my back, breaking the kiss to give me a wicked, almost smug grin. I have all of a second to analyze it before he presses one of my knees to my chest and hits me so deep and so hard I think I black out. With his chest pressed to my the back of my thigh and his palms against the bed, he ’ s given himself, or rather me, the perfect angle.
A look of ecstasy overtakes his smug expression, and I can feel how close he is. I want to tell him it ’ s okay, to let go, but he picks up the pace, and I lose all ability to form words, only agonized sounds leaving my gasping mouth as he hits all the right spots over and over and—
A strangled cry escapes me as I fall completely and thoroughly apart in agonizing, soul-destroying pleasure . Jeremy right there with me.