Destruction’s Desire (Broken Souls Trilogy #2)

Chapter 13

Rule thirteen: Do not break the box holding the repressed trauma.

I am so unbelievably screwed.

There are a multitude of reasons as to why I shouldn’t enter the fighting ring with Sin right now. First, we hate each other, so letting Sin be in a position where he can hurt me seems like an unhealthy choice. Second, I threw a knife at him this morning, and he smiled at me, which just seems really unhinged of him. Third, my traitorous vagina finds this man attractive, and given the state I’ve just found Sin in, I don’t think physical contact is a good idea.

He’s waiting for me in the center of the sand area, with his arms crossed over his bare chest. I don’t stare at his defined abs or the other muscles that are just – everywhere. His hair is tied behind his head, and he’s in black fighting pants similar to the ones I’m wearing .

I’m considering whether I can tactfully ask him to put a shirt on when I’m distracted by cheers and shouts.

“Wooo! Go, Vivian!” Rosie shouts.

“Humble the big bad Destroyer,” Magnus joins in.

All three of my pleasant Shadow Realm companions are leaning on the balcony railing above us.

I guess we have an audience. My cheeks heat.

I have no idea what I’m doing. The embarrassment that is about to go down will be monumental.

Damien only winks before calling out, “We’ve all placed bets on who will come out of this on top. Don’t get me wrong, I love the getup,” he pauses to indicate at my outfit, “but my money is on the big guy.”

I smile back weakly. “I think you’ve made a good call.”

He’s trained with me before. He knows precisely how pathetic I am.

Magnus’ hand flies to his chest like I’ve just gravely wounded him. “Darling, I have twenty gold pieces on you. Do not speak in such a way, my beautiful, deadly creature.”

Sin’s voice rings out sharp and angry, “Enough. Mortal, I don’t have all day. Get in the ring.”

My attention flies back to Sin. He doesn’t have any weapons on, so I pause at the edge of the ring to take off my own.

“Keep your weapons, mortal. You’re going to need them.” Again, more dark promises linger in his tone.

My brow furrows. “But you don’t have any. I don’t want to accidentally stab you. I… ”

Sin cuts in, “You’re more than welcome to stab me if you get the chance. I assure you, you’ll cause no lasting damage.”

I swallow thickly. “Okay. So, what do we do to train?”

Sin grins, showing his teeth. The effect is menacing. “Draw blood from me, mortal.”

“I – I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The awkwardness of this situation starts to sink in fully. Damien at least walked me through different moves and tried to teach me how to use them. As cool as it was to throw a blade at Sin over breakfast, my palms are starting to sweat at the thought of fighting him. I threw the blade on instinct. I’m not a fighter.

Sin quirks an eyebrow. “Afraid, mortal?” His tone is mocking.

My cheeks heat. “No.”

Yes. Yes, I’m definitely afraid. I’m probably going to accidentally stab myself.

“I just don’t –” I pause, trying to find the right words. “I’m not a fighter,” I finish lamely.

“Is that right?” Sin asks, his voice low and deadly.

I shiver at his tone. Whatever happens next is going to suck for me.

“So, you prefer to remain an object for the Council – useful only as a toy for Leon?” His words bite into me, and I flinch.

But he’s only getting started.

Sin flicks his fingers at me, and less than a second later, a wave of energy crashes into me. I double over from the force of the impact, but there isn’t any pain. Instead, I gasp as molten heat courses through me, lighting up every one of my nerve endings. My body starts to flush, and I fight the impulse to clench my thighs together.

Even as the wave passes and I manage to stand upright again, I’m suddenly all too aware of the feeling of my clothes rubbing against my body.

Sin is watching me, looking mildly annoyed.

“What – what did you just do?” I ask, my voice coming out breathless.

“Since you seem to be so at ease with other people controlling your desires, this should feel all too comfortable for you,” he answers, flicking his fingers at me again.

Another wave of heat, and my nipples harden against my shirt. Even as I concentrate on trying to stop whatever is coursing through my body, I feel the warmth pulsing against my core.

Lust.

Sin is controlling my emotions, and he’s hitting me with waves of lust.

“Stop it,” I tell him, my own voice sounding small.

Sin hits me with yet another wave in response, stronger than the last.

“Stop, please,” my voice breaks as my body betrays me. The sensation is eerily similar to when the bond flared up and made me burn for Leon.

Panic edges into my consciousness.

“Why?” Sin asks petulantly. “Isn’t this what you want – to be used as a Council whore? How many times did you show reluctance to Leon, only to have magic twist you into having him inside of you? ”

Shame wells up, and my throat hurts from holding back tears. “Mind your own fucking business.”

Instead, he hits me with another wave of lust, and my legs give out. I fall to my knees, trying to breathe through the heat. Every piece of me burns like I might combust if I’m not touched.

It’s happening again.

I have no control. My choices are being taken away.

“Please,” I whimper. “Please stop.”

Sin shows no mercy and hits me again with the lust energy. “No one is coming to save you. In this world, your boundaries are useless if you can’t enforce them.”

My body burns with desire. It won’t take much more before I break. Again.

“No more,” I beg.

“Not good enough, mortal. You want to crawl back to someone who used you, who embraces a bond that clearly violates your free will. I’m saving you the trouble.”

Another hit of lust, and I collapse, moaning against the sand.

Sin stands only a few feet away, towering over me. “Now be a good little whore and crawl to me,” he spits out.

Trembles wrack through my body, and sand sticks to my face where my tears fall freely. Every part of me wants to listen, to do what he asks if it will make the burning go away.

My eyes close, and despair floods me as I feel my free will breaking yet again .

He wants me to crawl. The thought comes as an echoing whisper from the angry voice I locked inside me so long ago.

Memories flash before my eyes. Of Cassandra crawling, broken and bloodied after her teachers had their way with her again. Of me crawling in a forest after my classmates tried to kill me. And then of me crawling out of Leon’s castle after he tried to use my body to get what he wanted.

My fists dig into the sand.

They broke me. Every last one of them took what they wanted. They violated me for their own purposes.

The box of repressed emotions in my head turns to dust, and my eyes open.

I say nothing as I slowly pull myself up, ignoring the heat that pulses through me. My legs shake, but I barely feel them. The others on the balcony have been yelling at Sin to ease off, but they’re silent now as if holding their breaths, waiting to see what I’ll do.

Sin watches me expectantly. I can vaguely feel the earth shivering under me, and small stones start to fall from the balcony.

None of it matters.

I will not crawl.

I may be broken, but I’m not dead.

I pull my swords from the sheath against my back, barely realizing what I’m doing. The rage is in control now. My thoughts are locked in fury. Muscle memory guides me, and Cassandra’s many years of training pulses through my consciousness.

Slowly, I start to circle Sin, my body low, as I look for an opening .

He grins at me before asking, “Had enough of the sex energy, mortal? Are you going to ask me to use my mouth instead?”

I bare my teeth at him. “My name is not mortal. And I would rather die.”

Sin lets me circle behind him as he tsks, “Such a shame. You don’t want me to make you purr, kitten?”

My vision goes red. I attack, trying to catch him off guard. But I’m too slow, and Sin dodges easily.

I glare at him as we stand facing each other.

“Don’t call me that,” I spit.

Sin cocks his head before flicking his fingers and sending another wave of lust through me.

“Make me,” he taunts, and the lust hits me with even greater force than before.

My core tightens further, and I bite down so hard on my inner cheek that I draw blood.

I charge him, anticipating his dodge. I miss, but come millimeters from slicing his skin. Again and again, I attack, and Sin dances around my blades, taunting me the whole while.

“You’re weak, hoping someone else will fight for you,” Sin says.

I ignore him, fully focused on making him bleed. Sweat coats my entire body, and I have no idea how long we’ve been at this.

Sin hits me with another wave of lust, and I double back close to the balcony wall.

“Do you quit, kitten? Are you ready to curl up into a ball and let someone own you?” he asks as he advances on me. He looks completely unscathed .

“Never,” I snarl before running in the opposite direction. The wall is there, and I jump, planting my feet on the stone and using the momentum to launch myself into the air. My blades are drawn, and I’m just about to slit Sin’s throat when he steps to the side and grabs my body mid-air.

He doesn’t hold me and instead spins me, slamming me down onto my stomach, onto the sand.

I land hard, and all the air is pushed from my lungs. It doesn’t get any easier to breathe when a weight settles over me. Sin’s thighs straddle me as he leans over and whispers into the shell of my ear, “You lose, kitten.”

Goosebumps erupt across my body. I try to struggle, but all I accomplish is feeling more of Sin’s body pressing against mine.

Another wave of heat hits me.

“Fine,” I growl. “You win. But stop with the lust. Now.”

Sin eases off immediately. “I didn’t –” But his words are cut short when he grabs my shoulder and shoves my hair aside.

A faint red glow appears, reflected in the sand, as Sin’s destructive powers awaken.

Oh fuck.

I try to struggle again, but Sin has a death grip on my shoulder, and his other hand fists in my hair, pulling it.

I bite down on the whimper that tries to escape my lips at the sensation .

“Kitten,” Sin’s voice is low, so only I can hear him, “why the fuck is there an energy siphon on your neck?”