Devil's Savior

CHAPTER 2

Fuck. Sioux is adorable when she’s trying not to give into me and everything that is going to be between us. Some men would have walked away a long time ago, but there was no way I was going to be one of those men. Not when the woman who speaks to the deepest parts of me is in my sights.

I understand the wariness in her eyes when she looks at me sometimes. Those aren’t the looks that keep me going. It’s the way sometimes her walls crumble and I can see our future shining back at me in the way she looks at me. The way I know her heart is already mine, no matter how hard she tries to deny it.

I know the truth. She does too, but fear can be powerfully strong. It’s a damn good thing I’m even stronger.

I swear my chest puffs up with pride because she’s almost done with her physical therapy. My woman has worked so damn hard for months. I know it’s been painful at times, and she’s wanted to throw away all her progress more than once, but she hasn’t. She dug in and kept it moving.

Do I wish she would let me in a little more and vent to me about how hard it’s been? You better fucking believe it. She’s let her walls down a few times, but not nearly enough for me.

I remember the first time she did it about a month into her physical therapy. The sadness, pain, and frustration in her eyes when I picked her up had my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but she was sending a strong ‘don’t fucking touch me’ vibe out.

When I met Devin’s eyes, he gave a subtle head shake, probably warning me not to push her and not to ask. I wasn’t going to let some other man influence my relationship with my woman. I approached her slowly, hating the way she wouldn’t look into my eyes.

My voice was gruff, “You good, firefly?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped.

She wouldn’t look at Devin as he confirmed their next therapy appointment, my heart aching with how fucking defeated my woman was. She was silent the entire drive home, not even giving me shit about my high-handedness that day, something she seemed to love doing.

Hell, she tried to fight me on everything, especially when I took her home to my place and wouldn’t hear a word about her going to her apartment. There was no way in hell I was going to leave her alone to deal with her recovery. Not only did she need help, but I wasn’t going to be able to handle not having her at my side to make sure she was okay. I knew she would be comfortable at my place; I was going to make sure of it.

When she wasn’t fighting me, I knew I needed to push her a little bit more to get her to open up. I needed to see the fire back in her eyes. She needed it to get through her recovery.

I let her stew until we walked through my front door, then I gently grabbed her elbow to stop her from going to her room and hiding. It killed me not to have her in my room, but it’s what she insisted on. As she turned toward me slowly, her eyes looked dull and lifeless; it gutted me.

There was a challenge in my voice, “You giving up, Sioux?”

She sighed and her shoulders slumped like she was carrying the weight of the world. “Don’t give me shit,” there wasn’t any bite to her words. “I’m just tired.”

“I get it,” I tried to placate her.

Something sparked in her eyes. “You don’t get it,” she gritted out through her teeth. I had to stop myself from taking a step back when she took a step closer to me. She brought our bodies so close there was barely any distance between us, but for the wrong fucking reasons. “I want to just give up, but I can’t. I won’t.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, needing more from her. “I might not have gone through exactly what you have Sioux, but I’ve been shot before.”

Her eyes widened and she took a step back from me. I hated it and hooked an arm around her waist to pull her closer, this time not allowing even a breath of space between us. Her throat worked as she swallowed hard, and her breathing became shallow.

She sounded wary and a little scared, “You’ve been shot before?”

“Yes. You know I’m an enforcer for the club. That can be dangerous.” I keep my explanation simple; anything other than that would be club business. I could see the questions swirling in her eyes, but this conversation wasn’t about me. “I haven’t needed surgery or had to do physical therapy like you’re doing. Talk to me,” I pleaded.

Her eyes slid closed for a moment and the pain etched on her face, as her walls crumbled, gutted me. I could see it all there when she opened her beautiful blue eyes and looked up at me—the anguish, the pain, the overwhelming feeling like nothing is going to be the same again.

“It hurts,” she whimpered as she let me have all her weight. “It hurts so fucking much. I feel like I don’t have control over anything. I’m sick of being asked if I’m okay or what they can do to help. It makes me feel like a burden, like I’m weak.” I open my mouth to tell her that weak is the last thing she is, but she shakes her head sharply. “Don’t. Don’t give me platitudes and pretty words, Apostle.”

I cupped her face with one of my hands, loving the way she looked so small in comparison. “I would never blow smoke up your ass, Sioux,” I promised her. “You are not a burden,” I gritted out through clenched teeth.

The thought of her feeling that way was pissing me off. I hated it. I wished it wasn’t just a feeling so I could beat the shit out of it, but I knew I couldn’t. All I could give her was my truth.

Her eyes hardened and I knew whatever she was going to say was only going to piss me off more; not at her, but at her situation. Before she could say anything, I barreled right over her. “You sure as fuck aren’t weak either. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, firefly,” my voice softened at the end.

Her eyes welled up with tears and my heart cracked fucking open in my chest. Even when she woke up after having surgery, even when she remembered being shot and by who, even when she was starting to battle getting back to healthy, she hadn’t cried. She stood strong like a fucking goddess, but seeing tears in her eyes only made her more beautiful to me.

“I want to give up,” her voice cracked.

“Then give it to me,” I murmured softly and pulled her even tighter against my chest. “My shoulders are broad, and I’ve never been more grateful for how strong I am because that means I can carry this burden for you. It won’t take away your pain,” I closed my eyes and tipped my head toward the ceiling, “I wish like fuck it could, but I can sure as hell carry some of what weighs you down.”

“Then I’ll rely on you,” her voice was soft and wary.

My eyes snapped open, and I looked down at her with narrowed eyes. “You think that’ll take away your independence?” She nodded slowly and I scoffed. “Getting some help and leaning on someone won’t make you less of the badass force you are.”

Sioux took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly. The moment she leaned her forehead against my chest, I felt it—the way she let go, the way she accepted my strength, the way she started to rebuild her walls. I could only hope that this time, they weren’t designed to keep me out.

It was the first time she truly let me behind her walls. There have been a few moments since then when she’s needed me to be her strength. I gave it to her willingly. I was hers from the moment I saw her, even if she doesn’t believe it.

I know what she was doing when we spent the night together sweaty and in bed. She was hoping that we could fuck the chemistry between us away. It didn’t fucking happen.

It’ll never fucking happen.

I’m not even offended by the assumptions she’s made about me. I get it and not all of them are baseless. It’s not like I never used the club angels to relieve some pressure and stress, I sure as hell did. But not since I first saw Sioux.

I haven’t been able to look at another woman since I saw her for the first time. It threw me for a loop at first, but then I figured there was only one thing to do—accept it.

Considering how happy some of the old timers were with their old ladies, I knew finding the woman for me wouldn’t take away my freedom or be a death sentence. I have no visions of a ball and chain when it comes to Sioux.

Since I know how much physical therapy drains my woman, I’ve kept quiet during the drive. She always needs a little bit of time to decompress, especially when she does physical therapy after she’s already worked all day. I can’t imagine how she does it all.

I could never teach high school kids. I’d be smashing heads together in no time. Horny teens with attitudes? Fuck no.

When I park in the driveway of my home, I experience a moment of pride. I grew up knowing what it meant to work and put your all into something while watching my parents run their small business. It just never felt like I belonged in the low country. There was something missing there, and I watched my parents put their all into their record store without getting a whole lot back.

As I grew up, I realized how different the world was becoming from when my parents opened their shop. Not only because records went out of favor…before coming back in as trendy or something, but just in terms of what being successful means and how much money it takes to get there.

When I left Magnolia Point, I never thought I’d own my own home. Or find a place to belong.

I have both. And now my woman is going to walk into our house—even if she won’t admit that it’s ours—with me. I glance over at her and see the exhaustion all over her face. The need to touch her overwhelms me and I reach over and give her knee a squeeze.

“It sounds like the end is in sight,” slips out when she looks over at me.

She studies my face for a moment and starts to nod slowly. “I’ll be able to head home soon. No need to be here with you taking care of me if I’m completely cleared by my doctor and I’m done with PT.”

I narrow my eyes at her and open my mouth to tell her how ridiculous she’s being, when all I really want to do is bend her over my knee and show her what I think of her suggestion that she leaves and goes back to her apartment.

We’ve gotten in more than a few arguments in the months she’s been here with me about her still paying rent for her apartment. I never pushed her too hard, even though I wanted to bulldoze my way through and have the guys go over, pack her up, and then break her lease whether she wanted that to happen or not.

I held off.

Clearly, that was a mistake.

Sioux opens the door to my truck and gets out with an ease she would not have had even a month ago. To see how far she has come is amazing. But if she thinks she’s getting away from me that easily then she better think again.

I’m out of the truck and around to her before she can get to the front door. I don’t hesitate when I crowd her against the door, pressing my front against her back. I dip my head and run the tip of my nose against her neck.

“Apostle,” there’s a slight needy whine in her voice along with a big dose of censure. I latch onto the whine and my dick takes instant notice.

It’s been far too long since I’ve been inside my woman’s tight heat. I fucking need her, but there was no way I was going to push her or her body too fast. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been imagining how she felt around me as I’ve fisted my cock.

“If you think I’ll be letting you go just because your PT is done and you’re cleared, I clearly haven’t made myself clear to you, firefly,” my voice is a possessive rasp.

She turns in my arms and presses back against the door, but I step forward to erase the little bit of space that she’s put between us. Her big blue eyes blink up at me and I watch with rapt fascination as her breathing picks up. Her tits are barely contained in the tank and sports bra she’s wearing, and it takes all my control to not stare at them.

“When I’m cleared, I won’t need you taking care of me anymore.” Her chin is up and there’s a defiance in her gaze, one I love. “Not that I needed you to take care of me in the first place,” she mumbles the words, but I catch them.

I hear everything my woman says along with the things she leaves unsaid between us.

Like how she wants to put as much distance between us as she can because she’s scared. Scared of getting her heart broken. Scared of the enormity that exists between us.

Like how she wants to stand on her own, but she likes it when she has someone to lean on. Because she doesn’t want to believe that allowing someone in doesn’t mean she’s weak. Because it really shows her strength, but she doesn’t ever want her broken pieces to be used against her.

I see it all. I hear it all.

If only she would realize that my heart beats for her and only her.

I cup her face in my hands and shake my head slowly, knowing my gaze is hard and unyielding. That’s what she needs otherwise she’ll continue to run. I’ll chase her, no fucking doubt about it, but she hasn’t admitted that to herself yet.

“You’re not a burden or an obligation to me, Sioux.” She huffs out a breath, her blue eyes widening with my words. I close my eyes and tip up my head, the memory of her laying on the ground as her blood pools around her still so fucking fresh in my mind. “Taking care of you is an honor and I’m a lucky bastard because you didn’t fight me too hard on it.”

I look down at her and watch her perfectly pouty lips lift into a sly smirk. She fought me. We both know it. Fuck, how this woman fought me. Everyday was a battle in the beginning, one with little victories and hard-won ground.

When Sioux snorts out a laugh, her lips tug into a smile that pierces my chest. She has such a beautiful smile and I love seeing it.

The first night I met my firefly, she was smiling. I sure as fuck wasn’t the only one of my brothers who noticed her in the clubhouse, but I made sure that everyone knew she was mine. There was no way I was going to let any of my horny brothers make a move on her. No fucking way.

She was smiling and laughing with Wrenley, and I just knew. It was just that simple. When she turned her smile towards me the first time it felt like I was on the back of my bike and cruising down the road with the sun on my back and clear blue skies as far as I could see.

Pure fucking freedom.

After we spent our night together, she tried to hide her smiles from me. I didn’t allow that shit and made sure to put myself in front of her without a single bit of regret or remorse. There was no way she was getting away from me.

Then she was shot, the smiles were harder to come by. I know it was because she was in pain, but I hated it. I needed her joy and her sunshine. Even in the darkness.

That’s when I decided I was going to be that for her, as much as I could, while she pulled herself out of the pit she was in. She sure as fuck wasn’t going to take my hand and allow me to help her. I understood; it was something she needed to do for herself.

Now I look at her and can see how far she’s come. I don’t think she sees it all the time. Probably because she’s too close to it.

“That’s sweet,” she admits begrudgingly.

I press against her, molding the hard plans of my body to her softer ones. “It’s not sweet,” I husk. “I just know what I want and that’s you. You’re right where you belong.”

I watch her throat as she swallows hard before my eyes snag on her lips. I remember how they felt wrapped around my cock. Fuck, I want to feel that again. Need it.

“I have my own place,” she whispers.

“You belong here,” I insist before I dip down and kiss her forehead.

I’ve pushed her enough for today. I know it even though I want to push her a little bit more. Desperation tugs at me to get her to admit what we both know is true.

She won’t.

Not yet.

I step back and reach around her to unlock the door. She turns so quickly the end of her ponytail slaps my chest. The movement has her subtle floral scent wrapping around me; I swear it strokes my cock with how fucking hard I get.

“I need to shower,” she murmurs before darting away from me and up to the guest room she’s been staying in.

I let out a soft groan because the image of her upstairs in the shower, naked and sudsy makes my cock throb. It’s so fucking clear in my mind and it takes all of my willpower not to trudge up the stairs behind her.

If she thinks she’s going to go back to her place, back to her life before me, she’s mistaken. She’s almost fully healed and that’s what I’ve been waiting for before coming for her. Strong.

Sioux is mine and it’s about time she lets me in.