Chapter 39
close but not close enough
DOMINIC
September
In the light of the morning sun, Mia looks peaceful, as beautiful as ever.
She’s asleep beside me, yet she’s still so far away.
After she walked out of the bathroom last night, I thought she’d throw me out.
Instead, she slipped under the comforter, turned her back to me, and fell asleep—wordlessly proving who’s in control of this situation.
The checkmate threw me off for a moment, but the overriding emotion I felt last night? Pride. I was so fucking proud of her for how she put me in my place during the hike, for how mature and levelheaded she was the rest of the day. More than anything, I was proud of her for saying no.
God only knows how much I wanted her last night, how badly I craved her, especially after we walked in on Miles and Chiara.
After she watched them while I watched her.
Her rejection stung, even if I was proud of her for it.
And the more I thought about it as I lay in bed, the more sure I was that she’d done the right thing.
It’s not just about sex for me, even if sex with her was the best of my life.
I want companionship, love, and support.
I want to cheer her on and make her happy.
And, selfishly, I want her because she makes me a better man, because when she’s in my arms, I’m capable of anything.
I want her. I always will. But if I want a shot at repairing the damage I caused, she has to choose me on her own.
She stirs, her lips parting slightly, eyes still closed, stealing all my attention like she always does.
I’ve spent so many nights imagining that one day, I’d wake up next to her again, with her soft, warm body pressed to mine. I’d go to bed thinking of her and dream about her all night long. Here I am, yet my reality looks nothing like my fantasies.
Close but not close enough. Even though she’s only an arm’s length away, there’s still a wall between us.
There are glimpses of who she’s become, of who she’s always been, but it’s like trying to quench my thirst by catching droplets of rain on my tongue.
It’s nowhere near enough, and I’ll be damned if I lose this chance to tear down the wall brick by brick, exposing her to me until I see all of her.
I’ll start today. Five hours in the car on the way back to Monterey will give me the uninterrupted time I need.
I slip out of bed, throw on a tee, and with one more look at her, I head downstairs.
As I hit the bottom of the stairs, the low murmur of voices gets a little louder. I follow the sound to the kitchen, where I find Matt and Miles.
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. I really need their company.
When Miles spots me, he lifts his mug. “You’re up early.”
“I could say the same about you.” I pour myself some coffee, relishing the strong aroma, then prop my hip against the counter and survey my best friends.
The two of them couldn’t be more different: Matt is more uptight and a lover of discipline while Miles is laid-back, a total rule-breaker. The one thing they have in common? They both tolerate my bullshit. They support me and encourage me even when I don’t deserve it.
“Mia’s still asleep?” Matt asks.
“Yeah.”
Sighing, he sets his mug on the table.
I tense, preparing myself for a lecture. I’ve been waiting for it since he found us arguing during the hike yesterday.
Instead, he rubs a hand down his face and leans forward, elbows on the table. “Why do you think I organized this little trip?”
I think I know the answer. I’m pretty sure I figured it out some time ago, but I play dumb. “Because you wanted to escape the madness of wedding preparations.”
He smirks. Miles chuckles.
“That was a nice perk, but I did it for you. For you and Mia. So you could spend some time together, maybe make amends. I love my sister, and I want her to be comfortable at my wedding. Hell, I want her to stay in Monterey. I don’t think I could handle it if she ran again.”
I arch an eyebrow. “And you think I could stop her?”
“I don’t know, man. Do you really want her to stick around?
” He tilts his head to the side, studying me.
“We gave you the push you needed, but you haven’t done shit to win her back.
What the hell happened yesterday? She was smiling when we left for the hike, and halfway through, she was on the verge of tears.
Then, she spent the rest of the night being distant with everyone. ”
The coffee in my mouth turns bitter, but I choke it down. His words are like a punch to my gut.
“She wanted to know why I broke up with her.” I hold his gaze. “She deserved to know the truth, so I told her.”
“And you thought she’d react well?” Miles asks. “That she’d take in that information, give you a pat on the shoulder, and brush it off?”
“I expected her to be pissed. She has every right to be.” I lick my lips.
“But in order to truly fix things, she needs all the information. I don’t want to hide, to lie or omit the truth.
She doesn’t deserve that. I fucked up, and I own it.
It’ll be a miracle if she forgives me, but I’m willing to take that risk. For her, I’ll do anything.”
Miles is still watching me with narrowed eyes when Matt sighs.
“You thought you were doing the right thing back then, I get that. And it was hard for you when she left and didn’t come back.
I forgave you a long time ago. You’re still my best friend, my brother, but I’m scared you being so bold is gonna push her away again.
This time, if she leaves again, she won’t come back. ” He hangs his head. “I don’t know…”
I take a step closer, my grip on my mug tightening. “You don’t know what?”
“If this trip was a good idea.” He looks up at me, head still bowed. “Maybe it would’ve been better to keep you two apart until right before the wedding. Maybe she’s not ready for all this.”
My stomach sinks. I understand where he’s coming from, but it hurts that he doesn’t think I’m good for her.
I set down my coffee and step up to the table where he and Miles sit.
“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
She breathed life into me. With her by my side, I finally realized my injury wasn’t a death sentence, that this world had more to offer than I allowed myself to believe.
No matter what you think, I know I’m the right person for her.
I can make her happier than anyone else can.
She was happy with me once, and I can make her happy again.
I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll win her back. I’m not letting her go, Matt.”
For a moment, he studies me, his expression unreadable. Then, a small smile tugs at his lips. “You better mean that.”
“Never been more serious in my life.”
There’s a beat of silence between us, but then, Miles claps, wearing a smug look.
“Look at you, Watson. So sure of yourself. You have a plan?”
I shrug. “Something like that.” Then, I focus on Matt again. “Do you mind if we skip the spa visit? I want to head back to Monterey early and show her something.”
He sits back, arms crossed. “I don’t mind, but she might.”
“Nah. I’ll be very convincing.”
“Or just dominant,” Miles chimes in. “Your broody asshole aura definitely makes people want to tiptoe around you.”
I huff. “You should be tiptoeing around me, alright. Especially after you decided to spend some…private time in the living room.”
The smug look is back. “What can I say? We got caught up in the moment.” He lifts his mug in salute. “Now, we’re even. I was a witness to your private time once.”
“Not the same.” I laugh.
Matt frowns. “Do I wanna know what you’re talking about?”
Miles and I exchange a look. “No,” we say in unison.
Mia’s suitcase is in my trunk, along with my duffel bag. She and Luna are still inside. While we wait, I take the opportunity to smoke one last cigarette before the drive.
I mentally prepare myself for her reaction. She may not handle it well, but it’s the only way to get her to listen to me, even if I am kidnapping her.
“Look,” Matt says, “if you two get back together, don’t expect Mom to be very enthusiastic.”
I take a drag and tip my head back, blowing smoke rings. “I don’t care.”
“I just—”
“Man, I love you, but shut it,” I grit out.
“I don’t care what anyone thinks. My only concern when it comes to Monica is making sure she isn’t a disrespectful bitch to her own daughter.
If she even looks at Mia wrong, I’ll put her in her place without any regrets.
It’s something I did a long time ago, and I’ll gladly do it again. ”
He nods. “Good.”
The front door finally opens, and Luna steps out, Mia close behind her. She’s got earbuds in, and her open laptop is perched on her palm.
“Ciao Antonia, come va?” she says. Her eyes are glued to the screen as she walks behind Luna. “Uh-huh…Si…Grazie, anch’io sto bene.”
She stops in front of us, taps the touchpad, and looks up. “Sorry, I need to be on this call. I can work in the car at the spa while you guys do your thing and come in when it’s over.”
Matt eyes Luna then takes a step back. “Sure.”
“Then let’s go.” Luna gives Mia a quick hug then winks at me. “Good luck.”
“I’ll need it,” I mutter as I open the passenger door and help Mia climb inside. She’s engrossed in her meeting when I lean over and buckle her seat belt.
“Is this okay?” I ask, leaning away.
She nods and fixes her focus on the screen again.
Though I need her attention for my plan to work, for now, her being distracted might make things easier. With any luck, it’ll take a second before she notices we’re not heading to the spa with everyone else.
I’ve got my hand on the driver’s side door handle, ready to pull it closed, when Matt calls out to me from his SUV.
“Dom?”
“Yeah?”
He gives me an apologetic look. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”
Eyebrows drawn together, I study him. “What for?”
“For not telling you everything.” He looks at Mia then locks eyes with me again. “If you end up talking about everything, you’ll know what I mean.”
With that, he climbs into his SUV and drives away.
For a moment, his cryptic words replay in my mind, but I push them aside. I have more important things to focus on.
As I drive, she continues speaking to her colleagues, switching between Italian and English.
Eventually, her side of the conversation is in English only.
From what I can tell, testers found a bug on the map of the latest version of the game they’re producing.
They’re scrambling to get it fixed, and it’s a tight deadline.
She’s quiet for a moment, her knee bouncing.
Then, when someone with a very high-pitched voice joins in, her lips twist into a scowl.
Even I flinch, and I can only hear it through her earbuds.
“Sure, I understand,” she says. “No, it’s not a problem… Yes, my team and I will fix it… Okay… Thank you… Ciao!”
She taps on the touchpad, closes her laptop, and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, glancing over quickly.
She rests her head against the back of the seat. “I don’t think I can go to the spa after all. I need to work.”
“Aren’t you on vacation?”
“I am, but I’m a team lead, and when there’s a major problem like this, it’s all hands on deck, especially so close to release.” She shrugs. “Sorry. If there’s a café along the way, maybe drop me there? I can work while you meet up with everybody else.”
I trap my bottom lip between my teeth and then look at her and say, “Actually, we’re on our way to Monterey. I never planned to take you to the spa.”
She frowns, poking her tongue into her cheek. “What do you mean? Why?”
“We need to talk, and this seemed like a good way to get you to listen to me.”
With a harsh chuckle, she shakes her head. “Leave it to you to decide for me, even when it comes to something as insignificant as going to the spa with my friends.” She tsks. “It’s good to know you haven’t changed.”
“Mia.”
“Can you please stop the car?” I shake my head, and she rolls her eyes. “I won’t run away. I need to work, and I’d have more space in the back seat.”
With a dip of my chin, I pull into a parking lot. She jumps out, slips into the backseat, and immediately, she’s back at work.
“I’m taking you to my place,” I tell her.
“Whatever. Just let me do my job.”
Before we’ve even hit the highway, she’s on another call, and that’s how the rest of the ride goes: me driving silently, her hopping on calls, typing furiously.
The silver lining? She didn’t say she wouldn’t listen to me.