29. Knox
Chapter 29
Knox
W hen I said this would be a vacation, I severely overestimated their use of the term lake house . This is a lake shack . It feels as if I’ve found my way onto one of those ridiculous challenges people film where they have to survive in the wilderness for forty-eight hours.
The wolves obviously use this as some kind of small reloading station. It’s tiny and made of wood, looking more like a large outhouse than a cabin. One bed, iron, against the wall. A tiny sink and toilet. A minifridge shoved into the corner. And a wall of cubbies, some of which are filled with clothes.I didn’t know I needed to be grateful for power, but I am now.
When they brought me here last night, I was in too much pain to notice shit. I faceplanted on the bed and woke up this morning with a killer headache and my bag stashed on the floor.
They let me have that, at least, though it’s clear they searched it. My phone and the power charging bank are here, so at least I can communicate with the outside world.
I text my family that I’m alive and go in search of something to eat. They left a sack in the mini fridge, and it takes me about five seconds to eat its entire contents.
After I wash in the outside shower—where I freeze my ass off—I get dressed and decide to test the boundaries of my new cage. On the property is a shed, a dock, and a fire pit. They’ve given me a wide berth, though I can feel wolves watching me in the trees.
The witch also returned my shadows. The moment I realize I can harness them again, I try to shadow-walk so I can follow Randi’s tether. It seems, however, that the witch is clever as fuck because something in the wards prevents me from accessing the blur. I can taste it in the air, making my shadows restless.
My life hasn’t exactly been roughing it. The serpent rulers are the royalty of our people, and we live like it. I’ve never truly been on my own.
I blow out a breath and head back inside, taking inventory of what I brought with me. I’m midway through an internet search on foraging when the sound of an engine alerts me that someone is coming.
Before the SUV comes to a stop, I’m outside waiting. I brace myself when I see it’s Randi’s hot Viking bodyguard. I’m still not fully healed from his beatdown yesterday.The wolf parks and grabs a large wooden crate from the back, walking through the wards easily.
I eye him, but he doesn’t speak. The closer he gets, the more I ache. He smells like sage and sex but mostly like my dragon. The orange tang sends a wave of longing that stabs my chest.
He shoulders past me into the shack and sets the crate on the small counter by the sink. “Someone will come back again in a day or so with another crate.”
He moves toward the door, but I block him. “Wait. When can I see her? I need?—”
“Nobody cares what you need,” he says, voice gruff and full of the sound of an alpha wolf.
Up close, the beast dude is beautifully intimating. His golden-brown hair is long, and his tan face is marked by small scars. She chose well in him. He is fierce and loyal.
“Yeah, I know. But this is for her. Our bond needs nurturing, and that means I need time to make it right between us. I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have.”
The wolf looks me over, his face torn with indecision.
I dart to my bag and produce Sloan’s envelope. “Can you at least give this to her for me?”
“What is it?” he asks hesitantly, looking at the thing as if it’s about to bite.
That’s fair, I guess. That’s what got us into this mess. I know I should be sorry that I bonded her. She didn’t consent, and even though I was acting on instinct, that’s no excuse. But a part of me isn’t sorry, because even though I regret hurting her, there’s no way I can see her letting me ever get close enough to know her.
And I need to know her.
That makes me an asshole of the highest order. I thought I knew who I was. Turns out I’m capable of much darker things than I ever imagined—because I don’t know if there’s anything I wouldn’t do for her.
I swallow around the glass in my throat. “They’re official treaty terms, including a dowry.”
The wolf scoffs. “A dowry. I don’t think she needs your fucking money. Maybe you should try starting with something like respect. Or building trust. Or even self-sacrifice.”
My hackles rise. “I do respect her. If you’ll let me, I’ll build trust. That’s what the treaty is for. And fuck you. I’m not giving her up.”
He shrugs with false nonchalance. “Suit yourself, I guess.” His voice turns hard. “Though it seems to me after what you did, you should show her you’re willing to walk away if that’s what’s best for her. But money? Fuck you. Pick something worthy of her.”
Those words land harder than his fists.
“Read it,” I grit out. My shadows tangle around me, wanting to lash out.
He’s been here two minutes, and he already knows the measure of my worth. The part that pisses me off? He’s not all wrong.
“You’re talking to the wrong guy if you’re interested in politics,” he scoffs, nosing closer even as my serpent hisses in warning.
My voice drops, my serpent’s dominance thick in the air. “Let me spell this out for you: My family is powerful. I can keep her safe. Right now, that is what she needs. I’m doing my best to protect her. We’ve taken the Alpha King down for now, but another will come. That treaty offers aid. That is trust. That is respect.”
“Great,” he says sarcastically. “Good for you. I bet your family is proud.” He shakes his head, the gesture full of pity. “You don’t seem to get it. You’re her mate. Win her heart, asshole.”
He doesn’t wait for me to reply, slamming the rickety-ass door on his way out.
The wolf’s words haunt me the rest of the day while I try to figure out my shit. They left my ass with a box of meat, eggs, and vegetables. I’ve never even tried to cook in a kitchen, and I don’t know how the fuck to start a campfire. I raw-dog the veggies, my stomach protesting.
If I’m willing to do anything for her, does that mean I should walk away? Is that really what she needs? If I break the bond, will she be better off? Maybe. The answer guts me, but if it’s truly for the best …
I sigh, torn, and pull out my phone. I don’t want to walk away, but I don’t want to hurt her either.
It takes Stefano going to voicemail twice before he answers. “You’re alive. Congrats.”
“I need a?—”
“Favor. I know,” he says with a chuckle.
“Can you dig up everything you have on mate bonds? Is there a way to break one safely?”
“Already giving up?” He sounds disappointed.
I grit my teeth. I deserve it. I’ve gotten myself into stupid shit—wrecked cars, bad bets, wild parties, hefty bills—and someone else always has to pay. Usually, it’s one of my siblings. In the last decade, I’ve cleaned up my act, but I’ve been selfish. Apparently, my whole life.
“It’s for her. I bonded with her, Stef, and I did it without thinking. She hates the serpents, and unlike the wolves, she has valid reasons. Maybe the best way I can fight for her is to give her up. I didn’t even consider it before, but I should have. Help me do the right thing for once in my life.”
Stef sighs. Papers rustle, and I know he’s up, digging around in his office or his library. “Give me some time to make certain, but I don’t think it’s possible. Mate bonds are permanent.”
“There has to be a way. Our people are shadow wielders, Stef. You’re telling me we can use energy to form connections but not break them?”
“They can be broken,” he says softly.
“What the fuck is that cryptic shit? Bonds are forever. Bonds can be broken. They can’t be both.” My voice rises, my serpent’s agitated hiss in the sound.
My brother shouts, “You die. Rejected mates die. This isn’t something you get a redo on.” He lowers his voice, his tone full of anguish. “I’ll double-check everything, but this time, you need to face reality. Honor your mate. Don’t try to run. Fix it.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” I shout back before hanging up the phone and tossing it away.
I stare at the lake outside the tiny window. Hot droplets drip down my cheeks, and I brush them away. The bond in my chest throbs, no doubt a warning of what’s coming, of what I have done to us.
My feet carry me outside without thought, down to the dock on this pristine mountain lake. It’s still out here, quiet, though the air seems to be filled with magic. I stare into the dark water and think about what someone else needs, really needs, for the first time in my life.
Hours pass and still I look into the water, hoping it will give me answers. I can’t get over how much I’ve fucked this all up. I thought I knew what coming here meant. I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn’t know shit.
The sun is rising when a billow of smoke and fire startles me from above. My dragon skims the water with her wings, taking a mouthful and shooting it at me with a force that knocks me off the dock. I rise to the surface, spluttering, in time to hear her rattling chuckle.
She launches herself into a sherbert sky, her white scales iridescent in the rising sun. Her sheer power is overwhelming. Who would ever want to cage such a beautiful creature?
Ducking under the cold water, I let myself sink. That's exactly what I did—I caged her. That knowledge chills me to my bones.How the fuck am I ever going to be worthy of her after what I’ve done?
I let myself wallow in self-pity until my lungs force me to the surface. Determined to craft a better-than-paper-thin plan, I march back to the shack.
After I dry off with a clean shirt—why the fuck didn’t I pack towels? Oh right, who the fuck thinks to do that?—I find my phone and dial Sloan.
“Do you think you could get me some supplies?” I ask when she answers.
She yawns loudly in my ear. “Good morning to you too.”
“Good morning. You’re the best sister in all the world. I’m a selfish prick.”
She gives a startled laugh. “Correct on all accounts.”
“Yeah, heard. I’m working on it. Stef told me she could die if I don’t fix this. I have to wow her and get her to see how sorry I am, and I need your help.”
With a resigned sigh, she relents. “What’re you planning?” I explain what I need, and she hesitates. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because I love you, but no.”
“No?” I ask incredulously. Through all my big fuckups, she’s never once said no. This is something good, something right.
“I think this time you need to figure it out. No supplies or extravagant gestures. Use your brain and your heart, okay?”
“Sloan! I’m in a shack. I?—”
“I love you. Don’t die?” She hangs up, and I stare at the phone in shock.
Well, shit.