Devotion (Central Cities #1)

Chapter 11

11

I nearly always wake up when Gabriel does. He attempts to move quietly, and he never turns on any light except his fairly dim bedside lamp. But I wake up anyway.

I’m usually aware of him sitting up on the side of his bed for a minute, probably rallying the energy to get moving. Then I hear him walk to the bathroom. The click of the latch. The water in the toilet and then the sink. After a few minutes, he’ll come out of the bathroom in his swimsuit and pool robe and then leave the room to head downstairs for his swim.

Sometimes I’ll lie in bed for an hour or so, taking it easy before I get up. I like to be dressed and ready when Gabriel returns from his swim, but he’s always more than two hours, so there’s plenty of time.

On some days, however, my mind is whirling with too many thoughts for me to lie around doing nothing, and I get up right away.

The next day is my eighty-second day as Gabriel’s partner, and it’s one of those days.

As soon as Gabriel steps into the hallway and quietly pulls the door to the room closed, I jump up and head to the bathroom.

It smells faintly of Gabriel’s toothpaste as I pee and then pull off my gown to get in the shower. I only wash my hair twice a week since it’s naturally straight and smooth and rarely gets dirty in the palace, so I twist it up with a clip to keep it out of the spray as I rinse, scrub up, and rinse off again.

When I’m done, I dry off and leave the bathroom to pick out a dress from my small closet. I always walk out naked because I’m the only one in the room.

I’m so surprised I jerk to a stop with a little squeak when Gabriel turns around from shutting the door.

He’s still in his robe. His hair and skin are dry. He appears every bit as surprised as I am, and his eyes run up and down my naked body with an urgency that’s almost hungry.

He’s never seen me without clothes before.

This isn’t how I’ve ever imagined it.

“You’re back early,” I say when I finally rediscover my voice. I have the weird impulse to cover my breasts and groin with my arms, but I don’t. That would be an immature and inappropriate response.

“Yeah.” He’s still openly staring, his eyes lingering on my chest and the cleft between my legs. “Sorry. There was some sort of mechanical problem yesterday evening, so they have the pool closed today for maintenance.”

“Oh. I’m sorry you’ll have to miss your swim.” I’m doing a good job of acting casual and composed when I’m not. I’m way too excited and self-conscious and jittery. My cheeks have gotten hot, but my voice sounds almost normal. “I was just getting dressed.”

“I’m sorry.” His brain finally catches up to his eyes. He turns his head away with an awkward jerk.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I tell him, smiling as I move toward my closet. “It’s your room. You can come in whenever you want.” I pause. Find the courage to add, “And you can look at my body anytime you wish.”

He’s still standing motionless near the door. Only his eyes are moving, raking back down from my face to my breasts and then even lower and back up. “You are… beautiful.” His voice is decidedly thick in a way I well recognize.

If possible, my cheeks get even hotter. “Thank you. If you want…” I get the suggestion started but then lose my nerve.

Gabriel and I have fallen into a routine and relationship that’s working for both of us. He’s finally comfortable with what I can do for him, and asking for more from him as I was about to do is likely to backfire.

Yes, it’s obvious that he likes how I look.

Yes, he’s quite clearly aroused right now. I can hear it in his voice, see it in his flushed face and in the way he’s holding his body.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll ever accept more from me than what he’s been taking for the past months.

“What?” he asks.

I’m in such a mental fluster I can’t even follow the question. “What, what?”

“You said, if you want … but you never finished the sentence.”

“Oh.” I take a ragged breath that almost certainly blows a hole into my fake composure. “It was just a random thought. Since the pool is closed and you can’t do your swim, I could… I could take care of you for a while. But you probably want to get right to work before the weekly council meeting, and that’s fine.”

He stares for what feels like a long time before he answers. “What did you have in mind?”

I gulp, suddenly hopeful and even more excited. “Well, I don’t know. Whatever you feel like. But I was thinking we have extra time, so I could… I could spend more time.”

Our eyes meet for several seconds, and it’s intense. Weirdly hungry.

“Okay,” he says at last.

“Okay?”

He nods.

My hand is shaking slightly as I gesture toward the bed. “Do you want to lie down? We can start with a full-body massage if that sounds good.”

Everything inside me is shuddering helplessly, so it feels safer to stick with an extended version of what we normally do even though part of me really wants to do more.

“You don’t mind? You’re not even dressed.”

A little giggle escapes my lips. “I don’t care about that. Unless you want me to put clothes on?”

He shakes his head, his eyes crawling over my naked body once more. “No. Don’t.”

“Okay. Then…” I wave toward the bed again.

This time Gabriel walks over and sits on the edge. When he glances up at me, I say, “Maybe start on your stomach. I’ll work on your back first.”

He doesn’t say anything else as he stretches out on the bed on his stomach with his head turned toward the left. He shifts his arms a few times until he settles them by his sides. I’m about to climb onto the other side of the bed when I think of something.

“I’ll grab some body oil from the bathroom.” I hurry to find the oil with the other luxury toiletries provided by the palace.

When I return, I get on the bed and kneel beside him as I decide how to begin.

I squirt some scented oil into my hands, rub them together, and then start to massage his upper back.

He sighs and closes his eyes as I work on him, relaxing in that intentional way he has. Like loosening his body is another duty he must perform successfully.

I wonder how he got this way. Why he always strives to achieve and pours everything into it.

It’s too much pressure and responsibility for one person to carry.

After a few minutes of pushing into trigger points and kneading his tight back muscles, I hear myself asking, “Have you ever had a massage before?”

“Not until you.” His eyes are still closed, and his breath hitches when I find a knot under his right shoulder blade. “Why do you ask? Am I bad at it?”

“What? Of course not!” I’m immediately defensive on his behalf, and I can hear it in my voice. Moderating my tone, I add, “I don’t think it’s something anyone can be good at. It’s supposed to help you relax and your muscles not always be so tight.”

“I know. But I think the tension is an essential part of my nature. It’s my core personality.”

His tone is dry, and I giggle in response. “No, it’s not.” I apply more oil to my hands before moving to his left shoulder blade. “You have too much work and too much pressure. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to relax. It’s not healthy to do nothing but work at your desk all day.”

“I know.” He sighs as I pull on his shoulder, trying to soften the muscles there. “But I think that’s just who I am.”

“Have you always done jobs like this?” I rarely ask him anything personal or about his past, so I’m not sure where the question comes from now.

I hold my breath to see if he’ll answer it.

“For a long time,” he replies, not sounding surprised or uncomfortable by the topic. “I think I told you my parents figured out pretty early I wasn’t cut out for physical jobs. I’ve got a problem-solving mind, and so they encouraged me to find ways to use it.”

“So what kind of jobs did you do?”

“When I was a teenager, I clerked for the mayor of our town. I learned a lot and found it interesting. I tried a couple of other jobs after that, but in that area, there weren’t a lot of opportunities for desk work.”

I frown, intrigued but still making sure to focus on the massage as I move down his back. “Why not?”

“Because it was… rural. Very rural.”

“How rural could it be that there weren’t a lot of desk jobs? Even the Outer Cities have plenty of that kind of work, don’t they?”

He moistens his lips and swallows before he says, “I’m not from the Outer Cities originally. I’m from farther east.”

“East? How far east?”

“Quite far.”

“You’re from the wilderness?” There’s an audible gasp in my question.

My knowledge of geography is somewhat limited since my life has been defined by the walls of the Capital. But I know enough. There are the Central Cities—the only fully developed region right in the middle of the continent. Surrounding that unified territory is a loose collection of autonomous city-states usually referred to as the Outer Cities. They span the perimeter of the Central Cities in all directions—Saint Louis, Chicago, Minneapolis, Denver, Dallas. They’re organized, fortified, and populated, but not as developed as the Central Cities because they didn’t have access to the battery technology that runs life here.

Outside of them, however, is nothing but empty, uncivilized land.

“Yes. It’s not really the kind of wilderness you’re imagining. We have real towns. A lot of farms and small communities. It’s definitely a more rural way of life than here, but it’s not completely wild.”

“But you’re so educated!” I’m so astonished by this new piece of information that I don’t think through my words. I’m having to fight to focus on massaging his lower back. “Where did you go to school?”

“We have schools.”

“You do?” When his eyes open to slant me a look, I give him a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound insulting or condescending. I just always understood it was completely uncivilized out east. Like… like hordes of barbarians or something.”

Gabriel chuckles. “Yeah. That’s what a lot of people think. But it’s not like that. It’s… It’s not a bad place to live.”

“So why did you move here?”

“I didn’t move to the Capital until I got this position. Like I said, there weren’t many opportunities to advance in the kind of work I’m good at in my hometown, so I moved to Saint Louis when I was twenty. I got a job pretty quick and worked my way up. I ended up with an administrative government job with some significant responsibilities. That’s when Vincent noticed me. He was on a diplomatic visit there, and he… recruited me.”

“So he asked you special to move into this position in the palace?”

Gabriel gives another breathy laugh. “I wouldn’t say he entirely asked.”

I’ve reached his ass. He’s still wearing his swimsuit, so I work on the muscles through the thin fabric. “He didn’t ask?”

“No. He made it so I couldn’t keep the job I had without causing negative diplomatic consequences, so I didn’t have much choice but to accept this position.”

“Oh.” I’m kind of upset to hear that. I don’t like the idea that he was forced to come here, bullied into doing such a difficult job. “I didn’t realize President Vincent was like that.”

“He is like that.”

It’s quite clear to me from the simple words that Gabriel neither likes nor respects the president.

And no wonder.

Laborers have little choice in the jobs they’re made to do, but that’s normal. Expected. I had no idea someone like Gabriel could be forced to do a job in a similar way.

“So you never wanted to come here?” I ask in a small voice, hurt in a way I can’t fully process but that I know must be irrational.

I need Gabriel to want to be here in the palace. To want me to be his partner.

He doesn’t answer immediately. When he does, it’s very soft and gravelly. “I didn’t come to the palace by choice.”

His ass muscles are very tight. It’s impossible to get them to loosen. I eventually move down to the back of his thighs. The muscles there are thick and well developed from all the swimming he does. He’s not as overall tense in his legs, so it’s easier to find the knots and focus on them.

Finally I say, “You’re too smart and too good at what you do. Who would have thought that could be a problem for a person?”

He makes another one of those huffs of sardonic amusement. “Yeah. Who knew?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, baby?” He’s closed his eyes again. He sounds tired now and completely unaware that he used the old-fashioned endearment again.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to choose to be here the way I did. I… I wanted more for you than that.”

I answer him honestly and never intended for my response to sound as nakedly vulnerable as it does.

Gabriel doesn’t answer immediately, and he doesn’t open his eyes. He takes a few slightly shaky breaths before he finally says, “Thank you.”

I keep working my way down his long legs, and after a few minutes he starts to really relax again. I feel better when his breathing gets slow and thick, and my heart jumps in excitement when he groans low and sensual as I rub his feet.

I’m a little breathless when I say at last, “You can turn over now if you want.”

Gabriel pushes up on his arms and flips onto his back, sighing as he stretches out comfortably and closes his eyes again.

I work my way up his legs at the same pace I descended them. He’s aroused by the time I reach his hips. I can see the outline of his erection very clearly beneath his swimsuit.

Applying pressure with both hands to the line between his legs and hips, I check his expression. He groans at my touch. Lifts his ass slightly off the bed. “Jess, please,” he breathes out. “I need it.”

Thrilled at the admission and his obvious urgency, I gently pull down his suit and, since it’s clingier than his normal underwear, pull it all the way off over his legs and feet.

Then I adjust my position so I can comfortably lean over to reach him with my mouth.

He lifts his hands as soon as I lower my head and combs his fingers through my hair as he guides me down to take his cock all the way into my mouth.

Since he’s already fully aroused, it doesn’t take much sucking for him to start mounting toward orgasm. He keeps moaning softly and lifting his hips toward my mouth.

I let out a silly, helpless humming sound as my own body throbs with arousal at his responsiveness.

“Fuck, Jess.” He tugs on my hair as his hips give a few clumsy thrusts. “Slow down. Not so fast.”

I’ve been sucking with an eager rhythm, but at his instructions, I fight back the needy urges and temper the speed of my suction. I match the pace he sets as he guides my head, and the slowness is delicious torture.

“That’s right. Now you’ve got it. Good… girl.” He almost chokes on the last word as his back arches up. I slant my eyes up and see his features twisting. He’s obviously struggling just as hard as I am to hold back. “I want it to last.”

I hum out a muffled agreement, intentionally restraining my enthusiasm as I keep moving my head and hollowing out my cheeks in hard sucks around the thick length of him in my mouth.

We keep going like this for longer than normal. I’m working away on him, making wet, shameless sounds of pleasure and excitement around his cock, and he’s groaning uninhibitedly, much louder than he usually is as he holds my head in place and his back arches in time with my sucking.

My jaw and back are both getting sore when I finally lose patience and let him sink farther into my throat. As expected, the new depth shatters the last of his control. He lets out a loud, primitive sound as his hips start thrusting up fast and hard.

He’s so unrestrained—and it’s so unusual for him—that a tiny flicker of anxiety ripples through me as I suck and swallow frantically, trying to keep up. I’ve barely caught up when he makes another loud exclamation of pleasure and his cock starts to shiver in the way it does just before he comes.

I cough a little as he spurts hard into my throat, but I manage to swallow it all down. My eyes are watering, and there’s saliva dribbling out of my mouth, but I continue sucking him in the way he likes when he’s worked through the last of his spasms of release.

He’s still making those breathless groans, but they’re softer now. His fingers are still tangled in my loose hair, keeping it from falling down around my face. We’re both panting desperately, and my mind is a blurred whirl of intense emotions. My pussy is pulsing relentlessly and so wet I’m afraid the fluid might be leaking down my inner thighs.

“That was so good.” His hands are still preventing me from lifting my head even though he’s worked through the last of his climax. “I feel so good.”

I hum with pleasure, sucking gently on his slowly softening cock.

“Oh fuck, what’s happening to me?” His eyes are closed now, his body limp with satisfaction.

I make a questioning sound around his penis.

“I came to the Capital determined to do the work given to me but not fall into the indulgent palace lifestyle. My parents would… would be ashamed of me. Only three months in, and look at me now.” He huffs in bone-dry amusement even as his hips are still rocking up just slightly to the rhythm of my mouth.

I don’t like the slight bitterness in his tone and laughter. Despite the continued pressure of his hands, I straighten up, and he lets me.

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling good,” I tell him gravely.

“I know that in theory,” he murmurs, opening his eyes and holding my gaze. “But it’s hard to believe it when it feels this good and it’s at someone else’s expense.”

“Feeling good isn’t wrong. And it’s not at my expense. You know I love doing this for you. I’ve never lied to you about that. I love it.”

He’s still breathing heavily, and his eyes look exhausted. “Do you really?”

“Yes. You’ve been nothing but good to me, and doing this for you is the best part of my days. I’d do even more if you’d let me.”

Something shudders in the air between us for a moment before he finally inclines his head in a slight nod. “Okay. Thank you.”

I smile again, relieved at the softening expression on his face. “You’re welcome. Can I finish your massage now? I still have your upper body to go over.”

He nods again, smiling just slightly as he closes his eyes. “I still think there must be something wrong with feeling so incredibly good.”

“There’s not.”

I gently rub his stomach and then use more pressure as I move up his chest. I massage his arms and then his neck and head. By the time I finish, Gabriel is sound asleep.

Only then do I climb out of bed, stretch my back and arms, and move silently into the bathroom. It’s still early. Gabriel has more than two hours to nap before he’ll need to wake up and dress in time for the Monday council meeting.

I’m not going to wake him up any earlier than I have to. He needs rest.

It’s not right that he’s been forced to do this job and that he has to work so incredibly hard. His parents probably love him, but they’re not around right now. I’m the only person in the world who cares about his current well-being.

So I’m going to take care of him as much as he’ll let me.

I’m going to make him feel as good as he possibly can.

I close the bathroom door softly and stare at myself in the mirror. Red cheeks, wild eyes, fluttering pulse, erect nipples. Loose hair and completely naked.

Nothing elegant about me right now.

Biting back a groan, I bend over slightly, bracing myself with one hand on the sink counter and slipping the other hand between my legs. Rubbing my clit isn’t enough right now. I slide two fingers into my wet pussy and pump them as fast and hard as I can.

My whole body shakes as I fuck myself with my hand. I make soft grunts as it starts feeling really good. I’m so turned on that it doesn’t take long for me to come. I can barely bite back a cry of pleasure as an orgasm breaks with waves of hot sensation.

I still don’t feel fully sated when I come down, so I rub my clit with a fast, clumsy motion. I watch myself in the mirror as I come again. My mouth opens in a silent exclamation of pleasure. I can’t seem to stop, so I keep rubbing myself shamelessly until I’ve worked up to one more climax. The rush of pleasure washes over me. A long, helpless groan escapes my throat.

It’s too loud. I can’t possibly let Gabriel hear what I’m doing in here.

No one can know.

Because it’s not wrong for Gabriel to feel good, but it is wrong for me to be doing this. It’s not right. It’s contrary to every impulse and expectation of a palace partner.

I give myself to him. I’m not allowed to take anything for myself.

So I’m physically sated but also shaky and guilty as I leave the bathroom. To my relief, Gabriel is still sleeping peacefully.

I’ve got to figure out a way to give him what he needs without trying to take any of the pleasure for myself.