15. Vane
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
VANE
Darkland rises up from the horizon just after noon on the fourth day at sea.
Plumes of smoke curl in the sky like ghosts and that familiar scent of steel and ash immediately makes me feel at odds with myself. I made a life on Neverland, but Darkland will always be home. It doesn’t mean I want to return to it.
Roc joins me at the railing as the harbor draws nearer.
“Needles,” he states as the ship is steered toward Darkland’s southwestern coast.
“Yep.” I take a hit from my cigarette and hold the smoke in my lungs.
Needle Harbor sits on the edge of the Umbrage. I’m guessing Roc told the hired crew to sail there. The closer we are to our old neighborhood, the quicker we can retrieve the hat and leave.
Roc snaps his fingers at me and I hand him the cigarette. He takes a hit as we slip past the break wall and into Needles. At one point, Roc and I had a quarter share of the harbor. Nothing happened in these waters that we didn’t know about.
To the left of the channel is the Bones Boardwalk, named after the Bone Society after its donation to the construction fund. The boardwalk curls around the jutting spot of land known as the Thumb where the black and white-stoned row houses are lined up like dominoes. We used to frequent the third house on the left, owned by an Umbrage boss best known for his ability to break legs.
Most of the people we ran with back then would be dead by now. They were mortals with mortal bones and mortal lives.
Roc hands the cigarette back now that it’s nearly spent. I take the last hit and drop the butt in a bucket of water at my feet. The ember hisses out. I check my brother’s profile looking for signs of his monster. So far he seems to be under control. But for how long? How long will my blood quell the chaos lurking beneath his skin?
“You still own the loft?” I ask him.
The ship sails past a smaller fishing boat. The man, pole in hand, turns to stare at us. Do these people know my name? So much has changed and yet everything is the same.
“I do.” Roc props his forearms on the railing and leans over. “And the apartment above Lost Soul.”
I raise a brow. “Really? And who owns Lost Soul?”
“One of Mog’s descendants. Great-great whatever. He’s a bit of a dick, but he liked getting fucked by me so I tolerated him.”
“And how do you think he’ll feel now that you have a pirate and a queen on your arm?”
He pivots, leaning his hip into the ship’s sidewall. “I don’t have anyone.”
“Oh? Could have fooled me.”
“It’s…still in flux.”
“Is it?”
“I’m quite positive, baby brother, that I did not sign up to be analyzed.”
I look over at him. He’s smiling at me, feigning annoyance.
I missed him more than I realized.
For much of our early lives, we were inseparable. Roc was never the overprotective sort of brother. He believed in freedom and autonomy over anything else, but if I was ever in a bad spot, he was there. Always there. It’s why Lainey’s death was so hard for me to take. I always assumed if I couldn’t protect her, Roc would. One of us would always be at her side.
Her death surprised me.
I thought we were invincible, making her invincible too. But she wasn’t a monster like us. Our beast is inherited through the paternal line.
Maybe Lainey’s death surprised Roc too. We’ve barely spoken of her.
We make it past the row houses, then the white clapboard house belonging to the seaguard. The channel widens into Needle Harbor where commercial ships dock on the right and leisure ships on the left. Dockhands are already waiting for us in an open slip at the front of the harbor.
“Will you make me a promise?”
I look back at Roc. “Depends.”
“This is serious.”
All the humor is gone from his face and his green eyes glint in the light.
“Okay.”
“If I lose control in any way, you will kill me.”
I’m angry at him in an instant. “Don’t fucking say that.”
“I will not descend into madness .”
Madness. The word is multifaceted for us. The Madd brothers with a mother who leapt off a cliff, a father who tried to overthrow the monarchy, and an uncle who?—
“Promise me.”
“I don’t have the blade,” I say too quickly.
“It’s in the loft.”
“I’m not going to kill you.”
He pushes away from the railing and straightens. He’s exactly two inches taller than I am and he’s never let me forget it. Now he’s trying to use it to his advantage, to show his authority over me, his little brother. I’ve always wondered what is stronger: the shadow or the monster. Perhaps we will soon find out.
“I can’t hurt them,” he admits and his voice catches.
Hook and Wendy.
Apparently not so in flux after all.
The ship’s crew calls out to one another, trimming the sails as we edge into the slip.
“It won’t come to that,” I tell him.
“But if it does?”
We’ve only ever seen one of our kind descend into madness, but we’ve never seen one get stuck in the monster, unable to turn back. But with the Myth Maker witch swirling around inside of him, anything is possible now.
He never should have devoured her. He knew better.
“Promise me,” he says again.
If I were in his place, I know I’d be asking him the same. If I were on the verge of losing control, putting Winnie in danger, I’d beg him to kill me just like he is now.
“I’ll promise under one condition.”
“All right.”
The crew tosses the mooring lines to the dockhands down below.
“We exhaust all options first. Including going home to look for our uncle.”
He’s the only one who’s descended into madness and the only one I’d trust to know how to claw back.
Roc narrows his eyes at me. “Home, huh? You’re not talking about Darkland.”
“No.”
“Well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that then.”
“Let’s hope.”
The gangplank is hoisted down and secured to the wharf.
Roc holds out his hand to me and I reluctantly take it. We shake.
When I make a promise, I don’t break it. But this one might be hard to swallow if it ever comes to paying it.