Dillon (All of Me #5)

Chapter 1

1

AGE 6

“ W here’s Ash?” I ask, poking my head around Mum and looking for my sister.

“She’s with Nana, love.” Mum messes my hair as she smiles at Nigel and tells him thanks.

I hold the strap of my guitar case as I squeeze past Mum out onto the step. I wave at Daddy, and he waves back. He’s leaning against the side of the car waiting for us. It’s weird that my sister and little brother aren’t in the back seat.

“I’ll see you next week, Dillon,” my guitar teacher says, leaning down and lifting his hand for a high-five.

I smack Nigel’s hand the hardest I can, grinning despite my missing front teeth. Shane keeps calling me goofy. He said Da used to call him that all the time when he was my age. I still don’t know what it means. My older brother is super annoying. Mum says it’s ’cause he’s a teenager now. But Shane’s always been annoying. Just ’cause he’s older doesn’t mean he gets to tell me what to do. He’s not my daddy.

“Good job today, Dillon.” Nigel’s smile gets bigger. “I’ll see you next week, and don’t forget to practice.”

“I won’t!” I call out, jumping off the step onto the driveway and running towards Daddy. He laughs when I charge at him, wrapping his arm around me and kissing the top of my head.

“Where is everyone?” I ask, looking up at him as he takes the case off my back. “And why aren’t you at work?” In the year since I first started my lessons, Daddy never comes to collect me because he’s always busy with the farm. It’s always Mum, Ash, and Ro.

“They’re over at Nana’s. Your mum and I wanted to talk to you alone.”

My frown is instant. “About what?”

Daddy scratches the back of his head before opening the boot and carefully putting my guitar inside. “Let’s wait until we get back to the house.”

My frown deepens.

“If the wind changes, your face will stay all grumpy like that,” Mum teases, coming up beside me.

“You always say that, and it never happens,” I remind her, climbing into the back seat while my parents get into the front.

“Come sit in between us,” Mum says, patting the empty space on the fallen log. There are a few of them on the grass around our playground. My stomach feels funny, and I rub it as I jump down off the swing.

Daddy built the playground last summer close to the house so Mum can see us and so we don’t bother Daddy when he’s working. He moved some of the cows to a new barn on the other side of the farm, and he gave me and my brothers and sister the old barn to play in. It’s still being novated, and we’re not allowed inside until it’s all clean. But Uncle Eamonn came over and helped Daddy build our playground in the grass at the back of the barn, and it’s so cool! We have our own slides, swings, and a climbing frame, and they made a football pitch on the other side with two goals and everything! Shane and Ciarán play football for St. Anthony’s, but I don’t really care about football.

I only care about my guitar.

And Ash.

My sister is my best friend. Just don’t tell Jamie or Cillian.

“Did I do something wrong?” I peek at Mummy and Daddy, wondering if I’m in trouble again.

“No, honey.” Mum takes my hand as Daddy puts his arm around both of us.

That lump in his throat moves around before he speaks. “We wanted to talk to you about something important, and then we’re going out for pizza and ice cream.”

“I want chocolate chip!” I shout, and the pain in my tummy goes away.

Daddy chuckles. “You can have all the chocolate chip ice cream you want.”

“But what about Ash and Ro and Ciarán and Shane? They’ll be sad if they don’t get pizza and ice cream too.”

“We’re all going, Dillon.” Mum kisses my hair. “Your nana is going to drive them to the restaurant in Greystones to meet us.”

“Cool.” I snuggle into Mum’s side. She’s always all warm and squishy.

Daddy coughs, and I look up as he and Mum look at one another. The pain in my tummy is back.

Mum kisses the tip of my nose, smiling at me in that funny way she does sometime. “We love you very much, Dillon.”

“I know.” Mum says it all the time to all of us. She even says it to Daddy when she thinks we aren’t listening. I squeeze her tight. “I love you, Mummy.” I twist my head around. “You too, Daddy.”

“You have brought so much joy into our lives, Dillon. We all love you so much.”

This is getting boring. “Okay. Can we go for pizza now?”

Mum smiles, and Daddy squeezes my other hand. “Not yet, love,” Mum says. “We wanted to talk to you about adoption. We know you’re curious. We didn’t talk about it yesterday when you first asked because we wanted to find some quiet time to talk with you alone.”

That’s what they want to talk about? I wish I hadn’t said anything yesterday when I got home from school, but I was afraid I’d get in trouble for punching Ross, and I had to tell my parents he was being nasty to Charlie and saying mean things like nobody wanted him ’cause Charlie is ’dopted. “I asked Charlie McGovern in class today, and he told me everything.” I jump up. “So, can we go now? Puh-lease?”

Daddy lifts me back onto the log. “I was adopted,” he says, and my eyes pop wide.

“You didn’t have a real mummy and daddy?” That’s what Charlie said it means. But he’s not sad. He’s happy. His ’dopted mummy and daddy are really nice to him, and they even gave him a Spider-Man bedroom for his last birthday and everything.

“Everyone has a mummy and daddy,” Mum says, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “It’s how babies are made, but sometimes, for various reasons, that mummy and daddy aren’t able to look after the baby.”

“That’s sad.” I have a pain in my heart now.

“Sometimes it is,” my daddy says. “But sometimes it’s not so sad because other mummies and daddies adopt the baby and love and care for him in a way the other mummy and daddy couldn’t.”

I scrunch my nose, not really sure what they mean.

“Sometimes it’s the best thing for the baby,” Mum says. “Lots of married couples can’t have babies, and they have so much love to give.”

“Like my parents.” Daddy pats my shoulder. “They tried to have children of their own for a long time, and they couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated,” Mummy says. “But it’s not important now. What is important is that your granny Mary and grandad Jack adopted your dad, and he had the best life with them. They loved him and cared for him, and he was very happy.”

“I love my granny and grandad. Why do they have to live in Kerry? It’s so far away.” We only get to see them a few times a year, unlike my other nana and grandpa who live in Greystones. We see them all the time.

Daddy rubs his beard. “I’ll call your granny and see if maybe we can visit them over Easter for a few days.”

“Yay!” I hop up again. “Can we get pizza now?”

“You need to sit down and let us finish telling you.” Mum pulls me down onto her lap. Daddy moves in right beside us as Mum’s arms go around me.

“Being adopted was the best thing that happened to me,” Daddy says. “My life could have been very different if your granny and grandad hadn’t opened their home and their hearts to me. Your uncle Eamonn is adopted too.”

“The things Ross said yesterday were cruel and untrue.” Mum rubs my back while biting on the side of her lip. “Charlie is loved, and it makes no difference whether he was adopted or not. Jenny and Ian are his real parents in all the ways that count.”

“Just like your granny and grandad are my real parents too.”

I lean back against Mum, wishing we could just get to the pizza and ice cream part.

“We need to tell you something, Dillon. We weren’t planning to tell you quite yet, but this seems like the right time to mention it.” Mum brushes her fingers across my cheek. I look at her and then my daddy. That weird feeling is back in my stomach.

“We adopted you when you were a baby, Dillon,” Mum says.

I just stare at her.

She holds me tighter, staring into my eyes. “Your biological parents—the mummy and daddy who made you—weren’t able to care for you, and they asked us if we wanted to love you and cherish you and have you be a part of our family, and we said yes, yes, yes because you’re a very special little boy, Dillon.”

“It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” Daddy takes my hands in his much bigger ones. “I wanted to give that special experience to another child so they could enjoy all the wonderful things I did growing up.”

“Your daddy and I have lots and lots of love to give.” Mum’s voice sounds strange, and there’s water in her eyes. “Your Auntie Eileen told us about you, and the minute we met you, we knew you were ours.”

The pain in my tummy is in my chest now. It’s like someone is hammering on me from the inside.

“We loved you instantly, Dillon, and we were happy we could give you a home.” Now Daddy has water in his eyes.

There’s a strange taste in my mouth, and I snuggle in closer to my mummy, feeling cold all over.

“You are our son in the same way Shane, Ciarán, and Ronan are. We love you boys and Aisling equally.” Mum puts her finger under my chin. “Do you understand what we are saying, love?”

I nod, holding on to her shirt even though I don’t really understand.

“It’s a lot to take in.” Daddy kisses my forehead. “I was a bit older than you when I found out, and it was confusing at first. But you don’t need to worry about it for now, and it doesn’t change anything.”

“We’re your parents. Your family.” Mum squeezes me so hard it feels like my bones might break. “And we love you to the moon and back.” She puts kisses all over my face. “Don’t ever doubt how much you are loved, Dillon.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have any questions? Is there anything you want to say or know?” Her forehead is all scrunched up as she stares at me.

I shake my head, and she hugs me closer.

Daddy wraps his arms around both of us. “We just needed you to know. If you don’t have any questions right now, that’s fine.”

“In time, you will.” Mum holds my face in her hands. “Don’t bottle it up, Dillon. Come and talk to us about your feelings. You can tell us anything, and we’ll understand.”

“When you have questions, come to me or your mum, and we’ll do our best to answer them. I promise.”

“Okay,” I say, and they both have funny expressions on their faces. “Can we get pizza now?”