Chapter 11
Trystan
P icking up my phone, I checked it for the 20th time in thirty minutes for any type of communication from Cam. The day had passed, and even though I'd called and texted Cam, it had been radio silence on her end. I was starting to go crazy because I felt like I was losing her even though she was never mine.
Dropping onto the seat of my bike, I let out a loud groan. Thousands of girls would kill for the proposition I'd made Cam, but I should have known better. Cam wasn't part of that thousand. She never had been. Even if she had a crush on me for years, she wasn't going to sell herself short.
It felt like she'd made her decision, and it turned out she wasn't okay with the no-strings-attached clause of my agreement, but I shouldn't be surprised. Cam could have anyone she wanted. Why would she want a man who would never commit to her?
I should let her go. Obviously, our paths were going in completely opposite directions. But I couldn't. I flipped open my phone and opened Cam's messages.
Trystan: Want to hang out tonight?
I hit send and re-read my message. What the fuck? I ran my hand down my face. I had never texted a girl who wasn't my sister and asked if she wanted to hang out. Sure, I'd sent tons of DTF texts, but never a 'do you want to hang out' text because I didn't hang out with girls who I wanted to fuck.
Three dots in a bubble popped up, and my pulse raced as I stared at the phone. This text would tell me everything I needed to know. She would either say yes, and I still had a chance, or she would say no, and that meant she was moving on with her life.
Camryn: Sorry, I have plans.
My brows knitted tightly as I stared at the text, re-reading it over and over again as my chest tightened.
She had plans. Was it a date? Or was she with Kaia?
I swiped out of Cam's text and clicked on Kaia's.
Trystan: Where is everyone tonight?
I waited a few seconds, and when Kaia didn't respond in what I believed was a timely manner, I sent another question mark with a raised eyebrow emoji. I was typically pretty patient, but not knowing what was going on with Cam was making me insane.
The bubble indicating she was replying finally popped up.
Kaia: We're all at the bar.
She didn't have to say which bar; I already knew because they always went to the same bar.
Trystan: All?
That was my subtle way of asking if Cam was included in that 'all.'
Kaia: Yes, all.
Kaia: If you're looking for someone specific, then just ask.
I huffed out a laugh. Kaia was so naive when it came to a lot of things, but she was super quick to pick up on my subtle bullshit.
Trystan: Just seeing what you're up to tonight.
That was a lie, and she'd see through it, but I had all the information I needed. They were all at the bar where Kaia worked, and I was about ninety-nine percent sure Cam was part of 'all.'
Shoving my phone into the pocket of my jeans, I pushed off my bike and reached into my pocket, pulling out the keys to my truck. Typically, when in a hurry, I used my bike, but since I was going to a bar and I had no idea what the outcome of tonight would be, I decided to take the truck in case someone had to drive me home.
It took me fifteen minutes longer than it would have on my bike to get to the dumpy little bar. Sliding out of my truck, I headed for the entrance and searched the parking lot for her car.
It wasn't here.
My chest constricted because that meant one of two things: either she wasn't here, or she was here with someone else. It could just be Kaia, but it could be a date.
I shoved open the door, and my throat tightened as my gaze landed on her... With Owen at the bar.
Jealousy spread through me as I watched her smile at him, and I wanted to rip his face off. Jealousy wasn't really my thing because I'd never liked anyone enough to give a fuck.
"Fuck this," I growled, twisting to leave but froze when Owen dropped his mouth to her ear. The jealousy brewing in my gut turned to anger, and I stormed forward, pushing through the crowd on the dance floor to get to her at the bar.
"We need to talk," I shouted over the music.
"Trystan?" Her brows pulled together in confusion.
"Hey, what's up, man?" Owen smiled.
My lip curled into a snarl as my gaze shifted back to her.
"What are you doing here?" She narrowed her eyes. "I told you I had plans."
"We need to talk," I grunted, resisting the urge to throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of this shithole. "Alone. Now."
"Yeah, okay." She sighed. Her gaze shifted to Owen. "I'll be back in just a second."
He smiled, and I refrained from saying, 'No, she won't' because the truth was I had never been so unsure of something in my entire life.
I let her lead the way back through the crowd and out the front door into the parking lot.
She stopped twisting to face me. "What is it, Trystan?" She crossed her arms over her chest, shoving her full tits up in her low-cut yellow top.
"Are you here with him?"
Blowing out a heavy sigh, she nodded. "Yes."
I bluffed, and she'd called me on it. "If you're trying to make me jealous..."
"I didn't invite you here," she cut me off. "I didn't tell you anything you didn't ask. I'm not playing a game with you, Trystan. I respect your honesty. I respect that we don't want the same things. I'm not one of those girls who's hoping that I'm the one who's going to change you."
"So you decided that you weren't interested."
She raised her chin and squared her shoulders. "I decided that I deserved better. I deserved more."
She did deserve better, but I couldn't convince myself that I should walk away and never look back. That I should let her go.
"You said you wanted an open relationship, so I'm not sure why it matters anyway."
"So you do too?"
"No." She shook her head. "I've thought about this all day, and even if you were willing to commit to only me, I think we're just not on the same planet right now. I want marriage and kids. I respect that you don't, but that means you're not my person."
A sharp pain singed my chest. She was saying goodbye.
"I don't think it should be this hard."
"Hard?" My brows pulled together.
"There has to be someone out there that wants the same things we want that we have as much chemistry with or more."
"And you think Owen is that person?"
She raised her shoulders. "I don't know," she pressed her lips into a tight line as her eyes met mine, "but I'm willing to find out."
"If I walk away..." It was an empty threat.
"You should probably go," she cut me off, stopping me from saying something we both knew was a lie. "Maybe I'll see you at Rockfest."
She pulled open the door and flashed me a sad smile before disappearing inside.
"Fuck," I grunted. I never wanted marriage. I never wanted kids. I never wanted commitment until right now. I never wanted any of it because I'd never met the right girl, but I knew without a doubt that Cam was that girl. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. I was leaving soon.
I knew I should go. Everything inside me was telling me to walk away and move on, but I couldn't. I jerked open the bar door and pushed my way back to the bar, but this time, Cam and Owen weren't there. Searching the crowd, I spotted them dancing on the dance floor. If she knew I'd come back in, she didn't let it show. He had all her attention.
"Not you, too," Kaia grumbled, sliding onto a bar stool. "Seriously, you and Jax need to get your shit together." She flashed her friend an apologetic smile, and I assumed this had less to do with me and more to do with my brother.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered.
"Yeah, funny, neither did Jax." She didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in her words. "Parker, do you want to get out of here?" My gaze shifted to the man sitting beside her. I'd never met Parker before, but I had already decided I didn't really like him. She shoved her chair in as my gaze shifted back to Cam and Owen. "I'll meet you at the car."
I inwardly groaned. For some reason, I didn't want Kaia to leave with him.
"Trystan." My gaze met hers. "Get. Your. Shit. Together. Or go the fuck home." My brows pulled together, trying to feign confusion, but I knew exactly what she was saying. "Make her your girlfriend or leave her alone. You can't have it both ways."
"I can't," I said on a heavy exhale.
"Why not? Why do you and your brother have the same commitment issues?"
My lip curled into a smile. "I don't have commitment issues, Kai," I lied, knowing I was just as fucked up as Jax. "I'm just not ready to settle down, and I don't want to end up hurting her." My gaze shifted back to Cam. "I was going to tell everyone tomorrow, but the band got a spot at Rockfest, and then we will be touring with Wicked Sinners as their opening act for the following eight weeks."
"Oh my God, Trystan," she squealed. "That's amazing."
"Since she has too much going on here and she can't go with me, it wouldn't be fair for me to tie her down, especially when we both know that in the back of her head, she'll be wondering if I'm being faithful."
Her gaze shifted to Cam. "Fair enough." She forced a smile. "So you told her she could date other people, but that's not what you want, is it?"
I shook my head. "No. I want to rip out his throat."
"Come on, Tryst. Don't sit here and torture yourself."
I nodded, sliding out of my seat. "Can I give you a ride home?"
"I came with Parker."
"Okay, let me rephrase that. Will you ride home with me?"
Blowing out a sigh, she nodded. "Yeah, give me a second to let Parker know, and I'll meet you at your truck."
Kaia met me at my truck a few minutes later.
"So, why did you want me to ride home with you?" Kaia asked once I pulled into traffic.
"Because you looked like you needed someone to talk to." I swerved the wheel to the right. "So, spill." Slouching in the seat, she grunted as her lip curled into a snarl. "Come on, Kai." I flicked a glance out the corner of my eyes.
"What's Jax's deal?" My head twisted, and my brows furrowed. "I mean, where do his commitment issues come from?"
"So, this is about Jax." She shrugged. "Have you tried talking to him?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "He's so closed off."
I eased to a stop sign. "I think a lot of it comes from our parent's divorce." I didn't think; I knew because it was the same reason I didn't want to get married or have kids. I saw what happened when love ended. I saw how messy it was and what it did to my brother and sister, and I never wanted to put anyone through that.
Leaning forward, I looked both ways before surging forward. "It was a pretty nasty divorce, and unfortunately, they didn't keep us out of the middle of it. We had to watch the fights, and they wanted us to choose. Like I said, it was nasty, and Syn and Jax took it hard." I would never admit it, but I had to.
"Do you think that's why he keeps himself and his feelings at a distance?"
"Probably. Be patient and give him time to work out his struggles with his feelings. He'll figure out what he wants. Hopefully, it's not too late."
"It would be nice if he trusted me enough to talk to me."
"Kai, I don't think he even understands the reason he is the way he is." She nodded, and I swerved into the driveway and stopped in front of the garage.
"What about you? You going to have a conversation with Cam?"
I shrugged. "I don't know."
"You should probably figure it out. Rockfest is next weekend." Her eyes widened. "Holy shit! Rockfest is next weekend." I nodded. "Well never get tickets now."
"I already got them." I smiled. "I have six tickets. You can invite your new partner if you want."
"Yeah, maybe."
Kaia and I strolled into the house. She headed upstairs, and I strolled through the house and into the backyard.
Standing at the pool edge, I let everything Kaia said sink in. My pulse quickened as a mixture of emotions flowed through me. The memories of my parents flashed forward, but not enough to overshadow the pain I felt seeing her with him, and I realized I didn't want to lose her.
I didn't have a plan, and I didn't know how any of this would work out, but I wanted her to know I wasn't going out like this.
I cut through the living room and kitchen and exited into the garage. I had no idea where Cam was, but I knew eventually she had to go home, and when she did, I'd be there waiting.