Chapter 18
Trystan
I t had been a week since I said goodbye to Cam.
From the time I stepped onto that tour bus, life became insanely hectic. Between the interviews, concerts, parties, meet and greets, fans, and the very little sleep I was getting, I didn't have much free time.
The phone calls and text messages on the first day were often, but as the week dragged on, they became fewer and fewer. It was getting harder and harder to find time to make that call or send a quick text, and by the time I did, so much time had passed it felt awkward because I'd left several of her messages on read.
Flipping my phone open, I clicked on Cam's pretty face. I'd wanted to call her a hundred times, but something always stopped me: either a phone call, someone needing to do an interview, fans, or mostly myself. Camryn was the first woman I was willing to throw it all away for, all of my dreams, all of my hard work to go back to her, and that terrified me because it wasn’t just my dreams I was throwing out the window. It was Saylor’s, Creed’s, and Lennon’s too. I knew if I talked to her, it would only make it worse.
Sitting on the black leather sofa backstage, my gaze lifted, scanning the room. We'd just finished our third concert, and for the first time, I didn't have that after-performance adrenaline rush like everyone else. The large room was filled with my band, everyone from Wicked Sinners except their lead singer Aero, and about a dozen groupies that were always backstage.
"Hey, baby." Charleigh smiled flirtatiously as she dropped onto the couch beside me. Charleigh Love was a huge social media influencer/groupie who was backstage after every show. "You look lonely sitting here all by yourself." She'd attempted to take me back to my room after the last two shows, and it seemed like she was a try-harder girl. "If you're homesick, I have the perfect cure."
I refrained from curling my lip in disgust. I wasn't homesick. I missed Cam, and there was nothing she could do to help me with that. A blow job or even a quick fuck would only be a temporary fix that could potentially ruin what I had with Cam, and it wasn't worth it. It was only eight weeks.
"No." I flashed her my best smile. "I'm burnt out." I shifted to get up. "I need sleep."
"You want company?"
"No." I shook my head as I pushed to my feet.
She pouted as she stood. "Well, if you change your mind, you know where I'll be." She would be making her rounds to see if she stood a chance with anyone else.
I nodded as I moved toward the exit, and she disappeared into the crowd.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, man?" Jazz whispered-hissed. My gaze shifted as I narrowed my eyes, and my face twisted with confusion. Jazz was our new publicist, and Joe, who was standing directly behind him, was our manager.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." The exhaustion in my tone was strong.
"Why do you keep pushing Charleigh away?" Joe asked, his greyish-blue eyes narrowing on me. Joe was a few inches shorter than me and about a decade older than me, which was the complete opposite of Jazz. Jazz was as tall as me with dark hair and darker eyes, and Jazz was the same age as me. Both were excellent at their jobs. "Do you know who she is?"
Truthfully, I had no idea who she was. I knew that Creed and Saylor told me she was a huge influencer, but I didn't know what that meant or why she was here.
"Do you know what she can do for your band?" Joe said, shoving a hand through his dirty blond hair.
"I think our band is doing fine." I rolled my eyes and reached for the door handle.
Jazz's hand flattened on the door, stopping me from pulling it open. "You're wrong," Jazz said. "This tour is only a very small start."
"Girls like Charleigh will get your name out there. It's free publicity. The best kind."
"And I need to fuck her to do that?" I was confused about what we were talking about.
"No." Joe shook his head. "You date her."
I huffed out a laugh. "I have a girlfriend back home."
"That's cute." Jazz laughed dryly. "But no, you don't." His smile faded. "Your entire life revolves around this band right now, and if that girl can't help make this band huge, she doesn't fit into your life right now."
"Your entire band is counting on you," Joe added.
"Why don't they date her?"
"Because she's into you, and you're the lead singer of the band."
My gaze shifted across the room where Lennon, Creed, and Saylor were having the time of their lives. I didn't want to let them down, but I also didn't want to let Cam go.
"I don't know," I said. "I need to talk to Cam."
Jazz shook his head. "Unless you're going to tell her it's over. You don't tell her anything. No one can ever know you're dating Charleigh for exposure."
"I'm not doing that." My gaze zeroed in on Jazz's hand still on the door. "Move your fucking hand." My tone carried a sharp edge to it.
"Just think about it," Joe said. "Just think about what this one girl could do for your band, your future, your dreams."
"And more importantly, their," Jazz twisted and nodded toward Lennon, Saylor, and Creed, "dreams."
"I'll think about it," I said more to pacify them. "Now, move."
They both stepped back, and I jerked the door open. Stepping out of the room and closing the door behind me, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up Jax's contact. Jaxtyn was my go-to contact to keep me updated on everything happening back home.
I clicked on his name, pulled my phone to my ear, and strolled through the back halls.
"What?" Jax growled through the speak. Anger colored his tone.
"What's wrong?" My spine stiffened. I could hear it in his voice that something was wrong.
"You're fucking girlfriend took Kaia to the Cages tonight."
"Did something happen to Kai? What about Cam? Are they okay?"
"I don't know," he snapped. "I'm on my way there now. Kaia sent me a text, but I haven't been able to get a hold of her since."
"Fuck."
"I'm about to pull in now," Jax said. "I'll let you know as soon as I know something."
"Okay." I shoved my hand through my hair as I ended the call and clicked on Kaia's name. Straight to voicemail. Fuck. My heart pounded as I paced back and forth in the hall. My pulse raced as an overwhelming, helpless feeling consumed me. I was thousands of miles away, and there was no way I could help.
So I did the only thing I could and paced the halls, waiting for Jax to call me back and tell me they were okay.