Dirty Little Mistake (Hard to Love #2)

Chapter 36

Camryn

S tanding at the water's edge, I watched the waves crash around my feet, each retreat of the water feeling like it was pulling a piece of me away. My gaze lifted to the dark, starry sky, Trystan's last words from two nights ago echoing in my mind: "We were meant to be."

The memory stung, sharp and raw. I wanted to scream at the sky, to let the ocean swallow my pain. Instead, I stood there, letting the cool water numb my feet, wishing it could numb my heart just as easily.

A gust of wind whipped my hair around, and I sucked in a deep breath of the salty air, except all I could smell was him. My eyes flashed open, realization hitting me.

"Hey, Cam," Trystan said, his tone soft.

I'd come out here to hide. Jax, Kaia, and Owen went into town, and Harlow and Syn took a walk down the beach, and that left Trystan and me home alone.

Hard pass.

I crossed my arms over my chest, not bothering to turn and face him. "Go away, Trystan."

"I tried," he muttered, stepping in beside me. "But I can't." The water covered our feet, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

"Try harder."

"Cam..."

"Trystan," I snapped, cutting him off. All of my calmness washed away in the ocean. I spun to him. "What happened the other night is never going to happen again." I paused for a minute, trying to control my tone so he understood I was serious. "So please just go away."

"Do you regret it?" My gaze lifted to meet his. "Do you regret the other night?"

The question hung in the air. Did I regret it? The memory of his touch, his lips on my skin, flashed through my mind. For a moment, I was back there, lost in the familiar warmth of him. But then reality crashed over me like a cold wave, reminding me of all the reasons I could never trust him.

I shook my head, surprised by the certainty in my voice. "No. I think it was the closure I needed to move on." The words tasted bittersweet on my tongue. "I am going to move on now." Pain flickered across his face. "I'm going to ask Owen to be my boyfriend." His jaw flexed, but he didn't say anything. "I can't be your friend, Trystan. Maybe someday, but not now. So if you see me around or at an event like Jax and Kaia's wedding, just pretend like you don't know me."

"Cam, I know you hate me, and I deserve it, but we need to talk."

A cocktail of emotions surged through me—anger that he wouldn't listen, sadness for what we'd lost, and a traitorous flicker of hope that I immediately tried to squash. I clenched my fists, feeling my nails dig into my palms. The physical pain was a welcome distraction from the emotional pain twisting through me.

The waves crashed harder against the shore, echoing the turmoil in my chest. I turned to face him, the moonlight casting shadows across his familiar features.

"It won't change anything, Trystan," I said, shaking my head. My voice was barely audible over the roar of the ocean. "Not this time."

Trystan stepped closer, his eyes pleading. "I just want to apologize. I don't want things to be awkward between us forever." He raised his shoulders, sadness dancing across his features. "I don't want to lose you completely."

I huffed out a humorless laugh. "You already have." My gaze shifted back out to the open water and endless darkness, mirroring the void I felt inside. "I don't want to ruin the rest of this long weekend for Kaia and Jax, so I'm going to go back inside. And I don't want to talk to you again."

I twisted in the sand, my feet leaving imprints that the incoming tide would soon erase.

His voice cut through the night air, urgent and desperate.

"I didn't cheat on you," he shouted out. "I know how it looked, but I swear, Cam. I didn't cheat."

His words hit me like a physical force, stopping me in my tracks. I turned back to him, my mind reeling.

Didn't cheat? Was he serious? I saw him. I was there.

He stepped forward, and I instinctively stepped back. I waited for him to explain, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it over the crashing waves.

"She wasn't really my girlfriend." I raised my brows as I crossed my arms over my chest. "We made a deal that I would pretend to be her boyfriend to help boost her fame, and in return, she would promote our band on her platform." He almost sounded embarrassed. "She's some type of social media influencer." I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from saying anything. I wanted to let him finish. "I made the deal when I thought you were with Owen. Before we made up, but I swear when I came back from your house, I told her about you. I made it clear when the contract was over, so were we."

"And you think any of that changes anything?" I finally said, shaking my head.

"I mean," he looked confused, "you thought I cheated. I didn't."

"You told her about me?" He nodded. "Then why didn't you tell me about her?" He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "You lied to me, and you knew you were lying to me when you stood in front of me, looking me in the eyes and begging for another chance."

"I thought I could get out of it."

"And yet," I frowned, "when you found out you couldn't, for whatever stupid reason, you didn't come clean."

He shoved a hand through his hair. "I wasn't actually allowed to."

A laugh bubbled up. "Yeah," I said, sarcasm dripping from my words. "Well, I guess it worked. Your new song hit number one, right?"

"Honestly, Cam, I would give it all up to make things right with you again."

I shrugged, feeling the weight of our shared history pressing down on my shoulders. "You can't." Just as Trystan opened his mouth to speak again, a familiar voice cut through the night air.

"Everything okay?" Owen's voice echoed over the crashing waves.

I spun around, relief washing over me at the sight of his silhouette approaching. Forcing a smile, I replied, "Yeah, I was just heading back up to the house."

Owen's gaze lifted over my shoulder, narrowing on Trystan. "Come on." I shoved him playfully, pulling his attention back to me. "Let's go get a drink."

Owen slipped an arm around my shoulder, and we walked toward the house, leaving Trystan on the beach.

"So," I smiled once we were back on the pool deck, "I've been thinking..."

"Yeah?" He raised his brows. "About what?"

"Us."

"Okay, go on."

"I want to give this... us," I gestured between us, my hand shaking slightly, "a real try. Like boyfriend and girlfriend, exclusively." The words felt foreign on my tongue, exciting and terrifying all at once. I'd been obsessed with Trystan for so long. The idea of truly moving on, of giving my heart to someone else, was both liberating and daunting.

"What about him?" Owen jerked his head over his shoulder, his eyes searching mine.

I followed his gaze, catching a glimpse of Trystan's silhouette against the moonlit beach. A pang of... something—nostalgia? regret?—shot through me. But it was fleeting, quickly replaced by a sense of resolve.

"That's over," I whispered, surprised by the finality in my own voice. "He apologized and told me what happened, but it's over." As I spoke, I realized I was convincing myself as much as Owen. "I want to move on, and I want to do it with you."

The truth of those words settled into my bones.

"I don't want to be a rebound."

"You're not. You never were." I turned, placing my small hands flat on his rock-hard chest. "So, will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes!" He dropped his face, pressing his lips to mine, and I didn't shy away even though I knew Trystan was watching from the beach."

Reminding myself this was the first step in truly moving on.