Dirty Little Mistake (Hard to Love #2)

Chapter 38

Camryn

I sank into the soft couch, the fabric cool against my bare legs. My fingers dipped into the warm bowl on Kaia's lap, the buttery aroma of popcorn wafting up as I grabbed a handful.

My phone buzzed in my free hand, and the screen lit up.

It was Trystan. Again...

I didn't need to look at it to know what it said. I'd blocked his number, but he'd gotten a new one and hadn't stopped texting me since I walked away from him on the beach. He'd resorted to everything but getting on his knees and groveling.

I'd only responded once to tell him I was with Owen now, but he continued to inform me why we were meant to be or lyrics to songs—even telling me again how sorry he was. I stopped reading them because none of it mattered. I was with Owen.

I reached for another handful of popcorn, shaking my head in disbelief. "I still can't believe this is what you wanted to do for your bachelorette party."

Kaia rubbed her swollen belly, a wry smile playing on her lips. "I'm pregnant. What else would we do? Plus, I miss hanging out with you, and soon, our movie nights will be harder and harder to do."

"So, it's just us tonight?" I shifted, pulling my legs up on the couch with me.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Syn and Harlow had plans. I think they were going to go to Jax's bachelor party."

"I'm really glad you're so happy."

Kaia's hand dove into the popcorn bowl, her eyes never leaving my face. "What about you? Are you happy?"

I shrugged, suddenly fascinated by the kernels in my palm. My voice came out softer than I intended. "How did you know Jax was the one?" My gaze lifted, meeting hers. "Like, how did you know to choose Jax over Alex, even after Jax broke your heart?"

She sucked in a deep breath before slowly exhaling. "Alex was amazing. He was everything you'd want in a boyfriend, but he wasn't Jax. Like that fire that I feel when I kiss Jax, I never got that with him."

I blew out a heavy sigh. I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Kaia leaned forward, her brow furrowing. "Does this have something to do with Owen?"

"Kind of." I fidgeted with a loose thread on the couch cushion. "I like Owen. We have so much fun together, but it just feels like… something's missing."

She nodded slowly, understanding dawning in her eyes. "Yeah, you two are more like best friends than lovers."

I slumped back, the couch's overstuffed cushions enveloping me like a hug. My heavy exhale stirred a stray strand of hair that had fallen across my face, tickling my cheek. "I know."

"Does he feel the same?"

"I don't know. I haven't said anything because I really like being with him."

"Have you two..."

"No," I cut her off. "We haven't... Last night, after the game, we went back to his house. We were making out, but it just wasn't there. I ended up leaving early to go home."

"You mean you don't have the same chemistry with Owen that you have with Trystan."

"No." I shook my head. "That's not..." I sighed. "Who am I kidding? That's exactly what I mean. Trystan..." I paused, realizing who I was talking to. I was always careful what I said about Trystan in front of his family.

Kaia's frown deepened, her eyes softening with concern. "Cam." She reached out, squeezing my hand. "You can talk to me about Trystan. You're my best friend. If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to?"

I swallowed hard, feeling the lump in my throat slide painfully down. "No one. I have no one to talk to about it."

She scooted closer, her knee bumping against mine. "So talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

I smiled softly, finally giving in. "Trystan and I's chemistry is electric, but he broke my heart. The worst part is that he wasn't trying to, but he lied, and after everything that had already happened, it just cut too deep. Everything with Trystan is so messy and complicated."

"Love is messy."

"But that's the thing. I don't know if this is love because he never lets it get that far."

"Jax and Trystan are so much alike." She chuckled. "I think relationships scare them because of everything they went through with their mom and dad. So, they self-sabotage."

"Yeah, except how many times do you let them hurt you in the process before you walk away?"

"That's a decision only you can make. Do you think you moved on with Owen too early? Do you wish you'd given him another chance?"

I sighed, wrestling with the truth. Owen wasn't revenge or a jealousy ploy. He was a shield against the raw pain Trystan left behind—a pain I didn't want to feel again, and he was my safe place. "I don't want to feel that kind of hurt again."

Kaia nodded with understanding. "Does Trystan want another chance?"

My eyes darted to my phone, lying silent on the couch. I chewed my lower lip. "Yeah. He texts me every day, all day."

She arched an eyebrow. "Do you respond?"

I shook my head, my fingers twisting in my lap. "No. I'm with Owen, and that feels wrong."

"What is he saying?"

"Mostly, he's giving me reasons why we were meant to be."

"And do you agree with him?"

"I think that it doesn't matter as long as I'm with Owen."

"So what are you going to do?"

I hugged a throw pillow to my chest, my voice barely above a whisper. "Nothing." I shrugged. "I do really like Owen, and we are best friends, and friends make the best relationships, right?" She opened her mouth, and I shook my head. "Enough of this. Let's watch the movie."

I wasn't sure what was going to happen with Owen, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it anymore.