Dirty Play (Empire State Hockey Series)

15. Gwen

S.O.S.

He’s dickmatizing me again.

Sawyer

Good. That just means he’s coming to his senses.

Cassie

I sense that he’ll be coming in you veryyyyy soon.

Fuck off, you two are no help.

Cassie

*kissy face*

Sawyer

3 you

Today’s a big day at work and I’m exhausted because I’ve barely slept. I was up until four in the morning because of Cade and his teasing, and I’d already switched to the day shift to be at the hospital for Kennedy’s surgery. I couldn’t turn him down, though. It’s so much easier when he acts like a dick, but when he’s a little flirty, not to mention the way he looked when I swear he was thinking about kissing me… yeah, I’m done for.

But that’s not what I should be thinking about today. Today is about Kennedy. I received a message that we’ll be discussing the plan with her family tonight, and the transplant should take place within the next few days. It feels surreal—like this isn’t actually going to happen. But I can’t think like that, it’s going to happen, some wonderful person got tested and they’re giving Kennedy the gift of life.

I only wish I knew who it was so I could shake their hand.

When I told Cade about her transplant last night, I saw a moment of sadness on his face, and it took everything in me not to tell him that Sawyer told me about Veronica. It’s not my story to share, and I definitely don’t want him to feel like I’ve violated his privacy, but I wish he knew he could talk to me about this. That I would be there for him.

I guess at this moment, I need to let my actions show him. Maybe then he’d believe it.

Grabbing my phone, I take a deep breath before I pull up his name and send a quick text before I chicken out.

Hi. Want to meet me for lunch?

Cade

Is everything okay?

I wait, hoping he’ll answer my question, but when no little dots appear, I know that’s his answer. I start responding but before I can press send I get another response.

Cade

Sorry, yes I would like that.

Is everything okay, though? I guess I’m just surprised you’re asking for more time with me when I thought you already hated me walking you home.

I guess I like it a lot more than I let on.

Now to take a shower and pull myself together.

Today isthe kind of day you dream about when working in the PICU. Another patient was able to leave earlier than expected, and we got the official go-ahead to put Kennedy and her donor’s surgery on the schedule. Two days from now, Kennedy will be the proud recipient of a brand-new-to-her kidney.

The best part of the day has been that even though Dr. Dickhead is working tonight, he’s actually been pleasant. He can be a huge asshole, but he truly does care about these kids. Hearing the news about Kennedy, and realizing she’s getting what she needs, has put him in a good mood today.

By the time I’m walking into the cafeteria for lunch, I’m smiling. I’m kind of excited to see Cade—hopeful things will eventually get back to normal, which is why I’m also planning on telling him that I signed up for a dating app. It’s not that I’m necessarily looking to date someone. It’s just that some male company is nice from time to time. After my one night with Cade, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him and his perfect dick, even if the night ended horribly.

This time, if I hook up with someone, I want it be damn clear it’s a one-night stand, and I will be the one making the escape.

I find him already at a table, and he surprisingly already has food for us.

“Hey,” I say with a smile, pulling up the chair across from him and sitting down. “What’s all this?”

“I was walking past the deli, so I grabbed us club sandwiches. This one is yours, no tomatoes, extra pickles, and a side of honey mustard,” Cade says as he passes me a bag, almost looking… shy?

The more time I’ve spent with Cade lately, the more I’ve learned about him. He’s way more attentive than I ever realized, remembering little things about me—like what my tea order is and my favorite sandwich made exactly the way I like it. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me really fucking happy, and if I was a little more na?ve, I might think this meant he actually liked me.

“Pretty sure this was exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you, Cade. We’ve been running around getting everything scheduled for the transplant surgery in two days, and I’ve barely taken a minute for a snack or water.” I smile, unwrapping my sandwich as Cade does the same.

“That’s gotta be exciting. I’m sure Kennedy is thrilled.”

“She is, but she’s also nervous. I can’t believe we were able to find a donor—a local donor at that. It’s made the whole process so much smoother, and it’s helped us move everything along faster to minimize complications with her health.”

He looks down, staring at his sandwich and I almost worry I’ve said too much—maybe I’ve sent him down memory lane, remembering the struggles his sister went through. But just moments later he’s grabbing his sandwich and taking a bite.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes while we eat our sandwiches—our table a little pocket of peace in the hustle and bustle all around us.

“Do you have any plans during the offseason?” I ask, trying to poke him into talking a little more.

“As of now? No. Just taking care of my health and making sure I’m keeping my strength up. I might be taking a trip home for a couple days. I guess it’s my parents’ fortieth anniversary or something, so my sister is making it a big deal.”

I lean back, watching him as he tells me more about this party his sister is throwing for their parents. This is the most I’ve heard him talk about his family in the years I’ve known him. I almost don’t want to respond or interject from fear that he might stop talking.

His family lives in a tiny little town called Ivy Falls, about six hours northwest of New York, and apparently, he hasn’t been back home in at least five years. My parents drive me crazy, but I still go home at least every other Christmas. The pain in his eyes tells me there’s a lot more to this story than I realize, but I’m smart enough to know that if I try to push him too far, too fast, he’ll run, and I’ll never learn more.

Maybe Sawyer is right, I need to treat Cade like an ogre.

“How about you, Tink?” he asks, watching me intently. “Do you have any plans? Taking any vacations?”

“I don’t have plans to take any vacations later this year. I may use some vacation days here and there, but I haven’t taken a big chunk of time off, well… ever. Sawyer keeps bugging me, telling me that if I don’t take a vacation, I’ll burn out, so who knows? Maybe later this year, I’ll take a couple weeks off and go relax somewhere quiet.”

“So, nothing exciting planned?”

“Nope, the most exciting thing I’ve got planned is that I am thinking about getting back out in the dating world—I re-downloaded a dating app. Recent… experiences have made me realize just how much I’ve missed spending time with a man.”

Grabbing my drink, I guzzle a bit, washing down my sandwich and the nerves of finally admitting this to Cade. When my eyes meet his, his jaw is clenched, his eyes dark as he watches me with an almost murderous look, and I’ve either really pissed him off or made him jealous as fuck.

Guess only time will tell…

The walkback to my place is much quieter than lunch. It almost feels like I’m spending time with an entirely different person. The joking, the laughter, the easy conversation we had just hours ago are all gone, and now I’m lucky if I get more than a few words out of him.

When we make it to my building, he stops out front, and I realize something.

I don’t want him to leave. The look in his eyes, the pain I’ve noticed, even if he doesn’t want to talk to me about it… he doesn’t have to leave.

“I know it’s late, and I’m sure you have other things you would rather do… but, uh… would you want to come up and watch a movie?” I ask, struggling to maintain eye contact, the fear of rejection strong.

But after a moment, when I’m expecting him to turn me down, he smiles, just barely, and gives a little shrug.

“Lead the way, Tink,” Cade says, his arm outstretched, waiting for me.

Oh fuck. I did not expect him to take me up on my offer.

What the hell do I do now?