Chapter 16
16
TLALLI
W hen she entered the conservatory again, Tlalli had to fight to ignore memories of the day before. This time, she was meeting Elias rather than Cahuani, although she had just left the bed of the latter no more than a few minutes prior. Elias had summoned her so suddenly that she was certain something must be wrong, but his signal did not harbor the agony of an angel’s call for combat help, so she tried not to think the worst just yet.
Nonetheless, she was sure Cahuani was somewhere close. At the very least, he was up and alert. He feared this was a trap, and while she may have assured him Elias wouldn’t do that, she wasn’t entirely sure herself. She also knew that even if she was sure, there was no use arguing with Cahuani.
Outside, the clouds were wringing themselves out along the countryside, the storm that had started the night before still lounging about. The rain had lightened as the sun rose, but Tlalli knew a downpour would arrive by the evening. She supposed the play party had been a good idea on the mortals’ part given they likely couldn’t leave the estate until morning anyway.
She confirmed the lack of a life-or-death situation when she found Elias leaning against the back wall, embarrassingly close to the corner Cahuani had pinned her in yesterday. She took a deep breath and came to stand beside him. It was obvious at once that although Elias wasn’t in mortal peril, he was not entirely all right. His jaw was so tight that she feared he might shatter his teeth at any moment.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“The chalice is gone.”
No . No, this couldn’t be happening. How on Earth could he have figured it out so fast? Cahuani assured her that the copy would hold. Every move they’d made had been backed by that assurance.
“You’re sure?” she managed, although her mind was still reeling.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he bit back. “I went back last night like I said I would. It was gone. Just—gone. No echo, no imitation, nothing. I left one, enough to fool the mortals, but... we don’t got it. We don’t have the cup, Tlalli.”
“Maybe they concealed it again. Maybe?—”
“You know damn well who has it.”
Her blood ran cold, as did his eyes.
“And so do I.”
For a long time, she had no idea what to say to that. Any misstep and she would implicate herself in a betrayal worthy of death. She had no clue how much he already knew, and his eyes offered no indication of where he was actually aiming his ire. So all she could do was stare at him in hopes it became clearer.
At last, he showed her mercy.
“The demons wouldn’t just take the chalice without leaving something behind,” he said. “Not when they’re still here.”
“So then what?” Tlalli croaked.
“Come on, Tlalli. Only one person coulda removed that locator spell.”
She’d all but forgotten about the locator spell she’d placed upon the false item, but once she remembered, the rest of the picture became clear. She could follow Elias’s path of thought, and she had to admit she was almost ashamed that she hadn’t seen it coming.
Anthony had disabled her locator spell and taken the fucking chalice.
“Have you tried to get in touch with Michael?” she asked, her throat hoarse.
“Yeah, nothing yet. I don’t know what the fuck we’re supposed to do. I can’t find Anthony anywhere.”
“What do you think he’s planning?”
“In all honesty, Tlalli?” He let out a mirthless chuckle while running a hand through his dark hair. “I have no idea. But we both know what he wants.”
“Yeah, he wants a war.”
He was always going to want a war. Anthony would go searching for a war until the day he died. Or the day Cahuani died.
She wanted Anthony dead.
This was the first time she had blatantly admitted it to herself, but it was an easy ideal to accommodate. The disgust that plagued her each time he was in her line of sight had numbed her to any guilt she may have felt for the thought. She realized maybe that was all the proof she needed: even if the angels were what they claimed to be, she no longer fit that mold. All the lessons, all the laws, all the beliefs—all of it was a lie, and none of it meant anything to her anymore.
“You wanna know what worries me most?” he asked, crossing his arms over his shoulders as he stared out the window. “I don’t know how long the Dominion will wait to intervene if he does try something. All they’ve been seeking for years now is a reason for war. If they let the demons kill him, they’ll have it.”
“You honestly think they’re willing to start a war here? Out in the open?”
She didn’t know why she was asking. She already knew the answer. Maybe she felt protective of Elias’s lingering faith. Or maybe she just didn’t trust him to believe the truth from her lips. Either way, she bit down on what she actually wanted to say and hoped he would find his way there himself. He had to. Otherwise, he would never know peace. He deserved peace.
“A year ago, I would’ve said no, Tlalli, but... you and I both know shit has been going sideways for a while now.”
She scoffed. “Yeah! I know! Yet not two days ago, you were telling me to suck it up and keep the peace.”
“And I’m sorry, all right?” He turned to look at her now, his eyes sincere. “But what did you expect? I’ve... This is my purpose, the basis of my entire existence. What other?—”
He looked away from her abruptly, and she knew she need not ask what he was going to say. Because it would be a lie. He’d had a choice, the same choice the Puri had, and he’d chosen to side with the Dominion, to maintain their rotten regime.
Any other day, she would have pointed that out, spat it in his face and given him no choice but to swallow it. But today, everything was different.
“I don’t know anymore,” he said instead, “but if all this falls apart...” He stared out the window and far off into a place she could not see.
She eyed him for a long while, contemplating what to say. As much as she wanted to believe he was saying what she thought he was saying—or that he would at least consider it—she could not be certain. And even if he was, she could not know for sure that he was being honest. This could be a setup. If he was at all suspicious about her, or if he had realized the real chalice had been stolen earlier, he could be trying to get her to reveal her role. And if she did that, she not only put herself at risk, she put Cahuani at risk as well. She wasn’t willing to do that.
She needed more time with Cahuani, much more. She didn’t care how fleeting what they felt for each other might be. She just wanted to keep feeling alive for as long as she could before they were once again swept up in the inevitable war between good and evil where no one knew who was who until someone won.
She really hoped that war would not come tonight, but if it did, she would fight beside Cahuani. Until the end of it.
One way or another, this auction would be her grand finale as one of Michael’s angels. She did not care what the angels told themselves about her when the blow landed. She would gladly be the villain in everyone’s tale. At least then, she would get some fucking credit.
Still, she didn’t want Elias’s blood on her hands.
She wondered if maybe Elias was starting to warm up to her because he was afraid for her. Maybe he didn’t believe she would survive this war. Or maybe he was just afraid that he wouldn’t. Though she supposed the more sensible reason was that he was afraid neither of them would, that no one and nothing could withstand the collective wrath of Heaven and Hell colliding.
She was inclined to believe that too. They were immortal but not entirely invincible. Still, she was just too damn stubborn to simply lie down and die, and if he decided to, she was glad she wouldn’t be there to watch.
The look of defeat had become so ingrained in Elias’s expression that she almost forgot that’s what it was. But it served as a reminder that he was already lost to her, no matter how close she thought they were getting right now. He didn’t care for her enough to fight. He couldn’t. He didn’t even care for himself enough to try, so how could she possibly save him? It was obvious he didn’t want to be saved.
Whatever she may have felt for him, whatever she was capable of feeling for him, he could never feel it in return. It would never suit his brand of hedonism.
“So what are you gonna do?” she asked him.
He shrugged again, turning around to slide down the wall and sit on the floor.
Without thinking, Tlalli did too.
“Hope for the best, I guess. But if Michael thinks I’m gonna go up against the demons for Anthony, for anybody, with all these mortals around, he’s terribly mistaken. If Anthony challenges them, he’s on his own.”
“Agreed.”
That gave her some relief. Though she hated for the demons to have to endure Anthony, she could not help but admire the idea of all their immediate problems being solved. All of which held him at their root.
Yet, no matter what happened, she couldn’t protect Cahuani from the impact. He would lose his son again, and even though he knew that, having known would not make it any easier. She had known she was going to lose her mother before it happened, and the wound was still too large for her to close.
“You gonna go to that party tonight?” Elias asked after a time. “With the mortals? I hear it’s some kinda massive orgy or whatever they call it.”
She snorted before throwing him a pointed look. Although she and Cahuani were staying for the duration of the party, she wasn’t about to tell Elias that. “Now, you know I have no business rolling around with mortals, especially when Anthony might show up and split one in half for even looking at me.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
There seemed to be something else Elias wanted to say, but he held fast. She wouldn’t be surprised if he had his suspicions about Cahuani, because she didn’t do much to hide her feelings. Anthony was gonna ask and believe what he wanted to, but Elias... He didn’t ask people questions. He hardly ever cared about the answers.
“Why? Did you wanna go?” she asked, both to tease him and to shift his attention.
He chuckled. “No, I did not wanna go.”
“Because I mean, that’s the last place Anthony would probably look for you. It’s okay to wanna see how things work down here, Elias.”
He rolled his eyes. “You know angels fuck, right? Maybe not as openly as mortals, but we do.”
“Yes, we fuck. I did not know that you fuck.”
He shrugged. “I’ve had my share of experiences is all I’m sayin’.”
“Okay, whatever you say, player. Just make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. The mortals are very creative when it comes to this stuff.”
“I’ll make sure to prepare a safe word.”
She gave him a purely impressed look against her better judgment. “I’mma be honest. I did not expect you to know what a safe word was.”
He realized what she’d said and shoved her shoulder, and she burst into laughter.
“Hey, I’m just bein’ honest!” she returned. “There’s nothin’ wrong with it! But I know you don’t really involve yourself with other people, so I figured you just prefer other indulgences. I mean, when we’re down here, all you do is smoke and talk shit.”
“I indulge just enough, okay? Damn.”
And by now, he was laughing too. She had never realized how joyous the sound was. It wasn’t condescending like Raphael’s or bitter like Michael’s. It was infectious. It was worth saving.
Fuck, she hated herself right now.
Once he sobered, though, he looked down at his hands. “Do you got a safe word?”
She smirked now and gave him a dark look. “Trust me. I have many things I keep from you for your own good, Elias.”
“Oh, come on now. Telling me your safe word ain’t gonna scare me off.”
“So you say.”
“Well, now I gotta know what it is.”
She eyed him warily, but he merely cocked his head, urging her to go on. So she leaned in close, closer than she needed to, and brushed her lips against his ear. “Apostate.”
She felt the shudder that ran through him as she whispered the word against his skin. The power it imbued her with was as intoxicating as his renewed laughter. Maybe even more so. Oh, she could break him into pieces if she so pleased.
“You play too much,” he said after a beat, although his laugh sounded nervous.
“Who said I was playin’?” She snickered.
Still, she immediately turned to get up because whatever had passed between them in that moment, whatever electric current had shot to her core and attempted to root there, she couldn’t act on it. And she wanted to, badly. But she couldn’t be the one to make this harder than it had to be. She wasn’t that brave.
“It’s okay, Elias. I don’t think any less of you just because you’re probably the most vanilla muhfucka in?—”
Though apparently he could act on it. Before she could get to her feet, he was atop her, pinning her facedown to the ground with his body over hers. She heard his wings erupt from his back, then felt the feathers fall over the two of them, concealing them from all else.
“You wanna bet on that?” he whispered, his mouth flush against her ear. “I’m happy to prove you wrong.”
She froze, trying to determine whether he was serious. Then she felt the thick bulge of his cock as it began to harden against her ass.
Oh, he was definitely serious.
And if that were not enough, he let her in . All at once, they reached for each other, and all at once, she felt his desire burning into her back and filling her lungs. And mixing with her own.
She thought of Cahuani. They weren’t a thing. At least not a whole thing. They were likely not going to be a thing when he had fulfilled his promise to get her out. Even so, this had nothing to do with that. This had everything to do with Elias, who she was going to abandon without so much as a word. Elias, who could have been her friend or something more if the circumstances had lined up sooner. Elias, who she had never seen so alive before this moment.
And suddenly, this seemed like the only appropriate way to say good-bye.
“What are you gonna do, Elias?” she said, feigning boredom. “You gonna take me?”
“You think I can’t,” he bit back.
“I think you won’t.”
“Say the word.”
“You don’t have it in you.”
“Say your safe word, and I’ll let it go.”
“I don’t need to say the word because you ain’t gonna do shit.”
With a quickness, he shoved up her dress and yanked down her panties. Lust flooded her belly and tinted her vision. It was only then that she realized how badly she wanted this, how eager she was to see him at his absolute worst.
“Say the word, Tlalli,” he urged again. “Say the word, or I’ll take you, right here. Right now. I’ll show you just how ‘vanilla’ I can be.”
“Fuck you, Elias.”
Before she could breathe in again, he shoved every inch of his erection unceremoniously into her folds, and she knew at once—he was about to fuck her like he had a whole lot to prove.
Tlalli cried out but was quickly cut off by Elias’s hand. He held the position for only a beat, giving her little time to adjust to his girth before his hips were rocking against hers. His thighs trembled almost audibly. He had been yearning for this. There was no doubt in her mind.
And now she realized just how much she had been too.