Chapter 29 #2
The firmness of her grip on his hand let him know she needed his support more than anything.
Instead of serving himself by asking her the question that was hot on the tip of his tongue, he served her and remained supportive of her during these tough times.
Once the nurse sanitized and gloved her hands, she approached Remedy and aided her with pulling her hospital gown up before tucking it underneath the cuff of her breasts.
He was able to see all the dark bruises that were along her rib cage and sides, and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her usually flat stomach which was now rounded with a small bump.
Still, he said nothing. He leaned back in his seat and watched as the nurse proceeded with the ultrasound.
Remedy shivered at the feeling of the cold gel that was placed on her stomach.
She never once glanced at the monitor as the nurse moved the doppler around to get a clear view of the baby.
Kross, however, fused his eyes onto the screen, looking at the baby Remedy had growing inside of her.
“It looks like you’re about twelve weeks along.” The nurse smiled lightly, still trying to gage Remedy’s emotions about the pregnancy. “Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”
“Yeah,” Kross quickly let out, prompting Remedy to snap her head in his direction.
“No.” She shook her head while swiftly pulling her gown down, putting an end to the ultrasound.
“Remedy—”
“No! I don’t want to!”
Kross shot the nurse a glance, indicating that he and Remedy needed a moment in private. She proceeded to excuse herself, giving Remedy and Kross the room. Kross stood up from his seat and began pacing the floor.
“Remedy, you’re three months along. That baby mine,” he stated confidently.
A deep breath rolled out of her as she shook her head. “Kross, I don’t know whose baby it is.”
“A’ight, then. Let’s find out.”
“I don’t have time to fucking find out, Kross,” she stressed. “The longer I wait, the smaller the window is for me to get this baby out of me.”
Kross halted his pacing and immediately returned to her side.
She was in clear distress, and that triggered her flight or fight instincts.
Remedy wanted to run far away from the matter of actually having a baby.
It was too much to wrap her head around while recovering from what Tone did to her.
The pressure was so heavy that she felt like her brain was going to explode.
Now, here Kross was, already making claims on the baby and building an attachment to it.
This was exactly why she refused to listen to the heartbeat.
She didn’t want to feel obligated to the life she was carrying inside of her while her own life was falling apart.
He used his thumb to wipe away her tears that had sprang from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I know this shit is a lot for you right now.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her in a comforting embrace.
Remedy cried in his arms, torn by the decision at hand.
Kross was an amazing man, and she knew that if the baby was his, he would be an exceptional father.
Her concern was that if the baby wasn’t his, she would have to deal with the burden and trauma of carrying what Tone implanted inside of her.
She wasn’t strong enough to face that music, so she just wanted to get an abortion as soon as possible.
“If it’s not yours, then what?”
Kross sighed deeply as he rubbed her back, still consoling her. “We do whatever you want to do.”
“I can’t get an abortion in Florida because I’m over six weeks. I would have to get one while we’re here.”
Kross felt defeated. He didn’t want her to abort the child without knowing whether it was his. Cupping his hands around her face, he peered into her eyes. He could see the devastation and pain that filled her orbs while his were imploring for her to hear him out.
“Love, please, let’s just find out.”
“Kross, he raped me. More times than I can even count. From the very first night he took me. I just don’t think this baby is yours. I’m sorry.”
Kross bit down on his bottom lip in an attempt to keep his anger and frustration at bay. He still held Remedy in his arms, knowing that he had to be her strength right now.
“I don’t wanna be that nigga, but there’s still a possibility that baby is mine, shawty.”
Even if the window of possibility was small as hell, they both knew the possibility was still there. Remedy wiped the tears that stained her face and peered up at him.
“If the baby is yours, I will keep it,” she declared, bringing a sense of ease to his heart.
Kross craned down and applied a kiss into her forehead, nose, then a gentle peck on her lips. “We gone get through this shit together, love. I promise I’m with you. Every step of the way.”
She nodded, appreciating his unyielding support. She pressed the call button, prompting the nurse to return. “Can we get a DNA test done, please?” she requested.
“Of course. I’ll be right back.”
Kross and Remedy sat hand in hand awaiting the nurse’s return. A silence struck the room as they both drowned in their own thoughts. It didn’t last long, though. Remedy squeezed Kross’ hand, garnering his attention.
“I shot him,” she confessed with a cold and empty tone.
“You shot him? That’s how you got here?”
She nodded. “I shot him in head. That was the only place I knew to shoot him so he’d die instantly. I just?I-I couldn’t take it anymore.”
She held her head in her hands, attempting to stop the tormenting thoughts and memories that flooded her mind. Her chest heaved up and down as tears escaped her eyes. Just the thought of Tone worked her up. He really did put her through hell.
“It’s okay, love. You didn’t do anything wrong.
You saved yourself, and whoever don’t see that, fuck ‘em. It was you or him, and you finally put yourself first and picked you.” Kross didn’t want her burying herself in any guilt regarding taking Tone’s life.
If she hadn’t done it herself, he was for sure going to take that nigga out.
“I just kept hearing your voice in my head telling me to pull the trigger because men like him don’t deserve to live.
Something came over me, and I just did it,” she recounted with a distant look in her eyes.
“I was scared that he was still alive, so I sat there with his body for six hours before I left. I thought he was gonna k-kill?”
He could see how difficult it was for her to relive the details of what happened to her, so he stopped her.
She wasn’t obligated to tell him anything if she physically, emotionally, and mentally couldn’t withstand the heaviness of it all.
He believed her, and she didn’t have to convince him or prove anything by forcing herself to stomach and relive the trauma.
“You don’t have to speak on it now if you don’t want to.”
It had been three months. She was sure that Kross would have wanted some sort of explanation or details of what she had endured, but she was wrong.
He didn’t find any purpose of putting her through that.
When she was ready to finally speak on it without it causing her so much pain, he would be all ears.
“Thank you,” she expressed her gratitude for him.
“It’s okay. I got you.”
Eventually, the nurse returned, and they administered the DNA test. They retrieved a blood sample from Remedy and swabbed Kross’ cheek before advising them that the results would be ready in three days.
The entire day, Remedy’s room was like a revolving door.
There were nurses, doctors, social workers, and detectives coming in left and right.
Kross could see how overwhelmed she was becoming, so just as the detectives returned to the room with another set of questions they wanted to interrogate her with, Kross stood up with a scowl on his face.
“C’mon. Y’all gotta chill. She’s been through a lot, and all these questions keep triggering her. Give her a second to fucking breathe.”
Remedy was in bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, clearly triggered by the line of questions they were asking her.
She felt obligated to answer each one, no matter how difficult it was for her to detail what Tone did to her.
Kross stood as her voice when she felt like she didn’t have one.
With her head buried in her knees, she heard Kross dismiss the detectives, followed by the closing of the door.
Once the door shut, she heard Kross let out a stressful sigh. Lifting her head, she gazed in his direction with her eyes glistening with the tears she was holding back.
“I want to go home. I don’t ever want to come here again.”
He returned to her bedside, cupping her hand in his. “I know, but I don’t think you’re ready to be discharged, Rem. Plus, we have to wait on these results. Like you said, you’re not gonna be able to get an abortion in Florida, so we have no choice but to be out here for a couple more days.”
Remedy shook her head. “I have to get the fuck out of here! I’ll take my fucking chances and fly somewhere else to get this baby out of me if it’s not yours!
I just?I need to get out of here now!” She began picking at the I.V.
that was hooked up to her arm giving her necessary fluids and vitamins.
Kross stood up from his seat and grabbed her hand to make her stop.
By now, she was in full blown hysterics with tears tumbling down her face and her chest heaving up and down.
“Remedy,” he called her name in hopes of getting her to calm down.
She pushed him away from her, still on a mission to free herself of the medical equipment she was hooked up to so she could find her way out of the hospital. Kross wasn’t about to let her tear her I.V. out of her arm, so he restrained her by grabbing a firm hold on her wrists.