Chapter Twelve
CHAPTER TWELVE
Damien was still fuming after his argument with Sky. Turned out that she’d arrived at his hotel just after he’d left, and she’d seen his note immediately.
Honestly, she could’ve stopped him from getting on that stage, but she said she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch him take off his clothes in front of a room full of women. “ Such a dignified man like you? Stripping?” She’d chuckled. “I’d be an idiot to say no to that delicious trainwreck. And, oh boy, it was a shit show!”
At first, when he’d stepped out onstage, he hadn’t noticed Sky sitting there—because, of course, she was a ghost—but if he’d known she was there, maybe he would’ve tried a little harder instead of begrudgingly doing the bare minimum to hold up his end of the bargain with Cimil.
Cimil never said I had to be a good stripper. She’d only said he had to get onstage and remove his clothes.
Of course, as the audience booed and spewed lewd insults, all he could think about was that he’d been a fool for not calling Votan and ending Cimil’s reign of terror.
But noooo… He’d had to play the hero again and come to Sky’s rescue. The worst part was that Sky had been laughing so hard during his non-performance that her energy spiked, and she revealed herself for a few seconds. Rolling on the floor.
The humans hadn’t noticed, but he had.
She laughed. At me! He’d only been doing it for her.
After the show, he finally lost his temper and told Sky their relationship was over. No more contact. No friendship. Over.
Then she started crying, and now he felt like an asshole again. Sky absolutely wanted another chance at life. She begged him to help Cimil, promising to never darken Damien’s doorstep again if he came through.
In that moment, Damien had felt both sides of the coin. One side was pissed and had meant what he’d said about her leaving him alone for good, while the other side blackened at the notion of never seeing her again. So he opted to help her first and then decide later the fate of their relationship. Friendship. Whichever.
Now here he was, sitting at the hotel lobby bar with the redheaded woman, Jacquelin, hoping she might be the key to gaining the dragon’s cooperation. Dash seemed to have a thing for her based on what he’d witnessed at the club. Going toe-to-toe with a unicorn was only for the brave. Going toe-to-toe with Minky was only for the insane. Or for a dragon who’s smitten with Jacquelin .
“I only have a few minutes,” Jacquelin said. “I’ve got to get home to my animals.”
She was an animal person. This was good. It might help convince her to step in. It also explained why she was wearing big rubber boots and smelled of animal urine.
“This shouldn’t take long,” he said. “Let me start with telling you—”
“Are dragons real? Is Mrs. Peepers, also known as Cimil, a goddess? Was I attacked by a unicorn back there?” she fired off.
Jacquelin certainly knew how to cut to the chase. “Yes.”
“To which question?” she asked.
“All.”
She grabbed her glass of red wine and downed it.
He flagged the bartender and signaled for a refill. “I realize this is a lot to take in, but—”
“So all that crap back there was real,” she blurted out.
“Yes, which is why I wanted to talk to you about—”
“I suppose you’re going to tell me that you weren’t yelling at a wall earlier either, too. It was another unicorn.”
Damien cleared his throat and straightened his gray silk tie. He did not want to dive into his romantic boondoggle. “It was, uh, a ghost.”
Her big green eyes went wide. “Shut up.”
That was difficult to do when she wouldn’t let him speak. “Jacquelin, the reason I asked you here is because—”
“Call me Jac.”
“Jac.” His irritation began to spark. The clock was ticking. “I realize this is a lot to take in, but I need your help. For reasons we don’t need to go into, it seems that the fate of Dash’s entire species rests on his shoulders.” Damien went on to explain how the blast had killed off most supernatural life on the planet, and for reasons of her own, Cimil wanted to prevent dragons from dying off.
“So you work for her?” Jac asked.
“It is more like she blackmails me and gets me to do things I inevitably regret. I am going to assume this situation will be no different; however, Cimil is a very powerful, conniving, and determined being who is in a position to help a woman I…a friend of mine, if I get the dragon to—eh-hem—dance, if you will.”
“So that’s why I overheard her demanding he splooge all over the place tomorrow.”
“Crass, but yes,” he replied. “After that, I hope the goddess will leave us all alone.” In prison or dead.
The bartender brought Jac’s refill, which she stared at pensively, her mind somewhere else.
“Well? Will you help?” he prodded.
“I don’t understand what you expect me to do. It’s not like Dash and I get along.”
That was not what Damien had witnessed. Dash had thrown himself in the path of a dangerous, psychotic unicorn to save her.
Maybe I should get her to focus on their mutual attraction. “Do you not find him handsome?”
Jac shrugged. “He’s hot. Until he opens his mouth. Also, there’s the small issue of him mistreating that kitten.”
“That’s no ordinary kitten,” Damien muttered without thought.
“What?”
Should he explain about his Chihuahuas? No, too much. Normal people could only handle so many supernatural reveals in one day.
“I meant that male dragons are solitary creatures and do not become attached so easily, from what I know. If the kitten is in his care, he will protect it.” Though, it was probably a type of companion demon. Maybe one of those vanity demons who also fed off attention, like Bonbon and Gorgonzolina. Only, vanity demons did not require touching. Little-known fact, many Hollywood actors were once vanity demons before the gods banned their kind from the human world.
“Wow.” Jac let out a long breath. “I guess it explains how Heebie healed so quickly. Dash must’ve used his dragon magic or something.”
Damien tried not to laugh. Dragons weren’t wizards. They were highly intelligent, shape-shifting dinosaurs who lived forever, breathed fire, and flew faster than any modern aircraft. Pfft. Nothing magical about them.
“Yes. His dragon magic must’ve healed him,” Damien agreed politely.
“Is he really the last male?” she asked.
“I can’t know for sure, but Cimil thinks he is.”
“I really hate the idea of doing nothing while another species dies out.”
This was good. She was on board.
“But I can’t help you,” she added.
Huh? “Why not?”
“Honestly? I have to think of my sanctuary. We’re short-staffed, I’m out of money, and some of the animals need around-the-clock care. I only took the job at the club for some extra cash to tide us over until our next fundraiser.”
She needed money? Finally, a problem Damien could solve easily! Damien was loaded, though he never said so out loud. He’d learned that lesson the hard way ages ago after accidentally attending a fundraiser. I thought it was a wine tasting . He’d made the mistake of saying he was wealthy, and to this day, they still hounded him for donations.
Fools. One does not get rich by spending their money on needy orphans. They got rich by investing in companies that gave the children important mining jobs. My Apple stocks are through the roof .
“How much?”
“How much what?” Jac asked.
“Money. How much do you need to get you through to the fundraiser?”
She shrugged. “More than you have. Also, I couldn’t take your money. I mean, you’re not a very good stripper, and you have to eat like everyone else.”
She actually thought he was a real stripper? Strange that she wasn’t picking up on his good breeding and deadly vibes.
“Yes, well, I have friends who are passionate about philanthropy,” he lied. “Allow me to make a few calls. How much?”
“Fifty thousand, but that doesn’t count any emergencies.”
“Tell you what, Jac; you help me convince Dash to do what male dragons were born to do, and I will get you one hundred thousand dollars. Do we have a deal?”
Her green eyes lit up. “Ye-yes! Can you really get that much money?”
Damien had enough wealth to last him ten lifetimes. Or twenty if you went by 1800s standards.
“I can have the money to you tomorrow, after our dragon has successfully spread his seed.” Damien would help Jac regardless, but he wanted to do this one last thing for Sky.
Even if she laughed at my pelvic-thrust moves. She hadn’t been laughing in bed. So who’s really missing out now? Ha!
“Okay, so what do I have to do?” Jac asked. “How do I convince him to, errr…mate?”
“He seems to like you, so maybe just ask for his help.”
“And if he says no?” she asked.
“You are a very beautiful woman. Try crying.” It works on me.
“Crying?” She arched an amber brow. “I’ll convince him some other way.”
Seduce him. Yes, wonderful idea. Sex also worked on Damien.
“Good luck. Here is my number.” Damien handed Jac his card. “I wrote the stripper’s address on the back.” He’d gotten it off the internet. I guess finding dragons isn’t so difficult when you know where to look.
Her green eyes quickly scanned the card. “This says you’re a tailor.”
“Side hustle. You know how stripper life can be. Good nights, bad nights.”
“Yeah, you’re never going to get rich taking off your shirt,” she said with pity.
Rude.
She added, “Maybe Dash can show you some moves.”
Damien smiled tightly, feeling the sting of her comment on every level. A man such as himself did not need anyone’s help to get by in life. Or in the art of seduction. He could be quite the scallywag when he wanted. “I will keep that in mind.”
Jac left the hotel lobby with a head full of questions and a stomach filled with angst. It would take months, if not years, to fully digest what she’d learned tonight, but that Damien stripper seemed really desperate for her immediate help. Of course, that wasn’t why she’d agreed to do this. It wasn’t even about the money he’d promised.
Dragons are real. And if she didn’t convince Dash to give up the testi-goods, his kind would disappear forever.
Not that the world would notice, given how no one knew dragons existed, but she knew. And the idea of such a rare creature going the way of the dodo broke her heart. So if she could prevent their end, she had to do it.
After all, saving exotic animals was her calling. It was why she’d stuck with the sanctuary all these years when it was grueling, thankless, backbreaking work. So if not her, who else would come to the aid of dragons?
The question was, would Dash change his mind?
As she headed toward his place, she mentally thumbed through her options. Damien had suggested that she reason with Dash, but the more she considered it, the less she liked the idea. Mostly because while Dash might be abrasive, he didn’t come across as dumb. So telling him something he already knew, like his species would die out if he didn’t man up, wasn’t going to help. It was a waste of time appealing to his sense of duty or to his heart.
If she wanted Dash to play balls , she’d need to motivate him some other way.
How does a woman convince a stubborn, cocky, rude man—I mean dragon—to share the love? She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. Maybe I should tranq him again.
No, no. He’ll just escape like last time. Also, forcing him to procreate felt a little rapy.
Hmmm… If reasoning with the guy wouldn’t work, and forcing him was a no-go, then that left one other option.
She turned right, heading toward the store for supplies.
Cimil popped a Twinkie in her mouth and chewed twice before letting its sticky sweet goodness slide down her throat. “Don’t forget the sparkles, Minky. You know how I like my toenails to reflect my ominous aura when I gaze at them.”
Minky grumbled and reached for the rainbow sprinkles nail polish while Cimil enjoyed the deep-tissue-massage chair.
“ Grumble, grumble, ” said Minky.
“No, you can’t go back into that woman’s body,” Cimil said. “The last time you possessed her, she lost all her teeth. You know humans can’t eat missiles. Or grenades, monster trucks, sea turtles, moon rocks, airports, or unicycles.” Poor toothless Nancy. Unfortunately, Cimil hadn’t had a choice but to commandeer a human suit for Minky. Someone needed to carry out the plan that involved the club while Cimil was out of town, taking care of important details.
“ Grumble, grumble, ” Minky said.
“Sure, lube is okay, but only the edible kind. And humans don’t eat the tube.”
“ Grumble, grumble. ”
“No, dentures aren’t an option. I’m afraid that Nancy’s body is going to be in the hospital for a while. But I hear the surgery went well to remove all the crap you made her body eat.”
Minky began complaining that Cimil never let her have any fun, which wasn’t true.
“Who do you think I’m doing this for, huh, Mink? You. You’ll get all the human bodies you want out of this, and since these ones come without a soul, you can trash them all you want.” Unlike poor Nancy.
Minky finished off the last toe.
“Those look fantastic. You want me to wax your taint now?” Cimil loved doing it. Listening to Minky scream in pain was hilarious.
“ Grumble, grumble. ”
“No? Not in the mood?” Cimil frowned. “Oh, Minksters. Don’t you worry your rainbow-colored, dead-as-a-doornail heart. No one suspects a thing. Our plan will be a triumph! And wait until you see the look on Votan’s face.”
Yes, they would have to dig out the Polaroid camera for this one. It would be a moment requiring some serious decoupage. Oh, I know. I’ll lacquer Votan’s favorite Mayan temple with photos of his surprised face.
“I just don’t get one thing,” Cimil said, wiggling her sparkly toes to help them dry faster. “Why does everyone always underestimate me? After thousands of years, they have to know I’m up to no good.”
“ Grumble, grumble. ”
“Yes, right you are, girl. No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition.” And this would blow that yummy festival of malevolence right out of the water.
And after Cimil executed her plan, got her old job back, and took the throne among humans, she would start the next phase of getting back her sweet Roberto and wicked children.
We’ll be one, big, happy, evil family again! She hoped. Otherwise, she’d have to kill them.
“Ma’am, the mall is closed now,” said a security guard. “And you’ll have to pay for the nail polish you stole, or I’ll call the police.”
Cimil looked up and clapped. “Police? Oh, please do. Minky needs snacks.”