Chapter 32
Chapter
Thirty-Two
DECLAN
E verything inside of me turns to fear and then into red rage. “What do you mean, she’s gone? Gone where?”
“I don’t know.”
“Was she taken?”
“I don’t know. There wasn’t a sign of a struggle. She left behind her purse. That’s all I know.” Pru replies while looking at me with sad eyes.
I don’t understand at all, and no matter how many times we watch the footage, no matter how many times we see her walk out of her room, down the hall, and to the exit, I refuse to believe she did it on her own. Why would she leave? Especially without her belongings?
Grey has to be behind this. Or her father. Someone made her leave me.
And she wouldn’t just leave me. She wouldn’t get into a strange car, and just leave.
“Brother, you need to take a breath.” Ash’s grip on my forearm is tight.
Malcolm’s got my other arm just as tightly. They can’t hold me here.
I yank myself forward, trying to break out of their grips. “I’m going to find her.”
They manage to hold onto to me, but not without a fight. “Not like this, you’re not.” Ash says, as he and Malcolm drag me out of the security office, down the hall to a door marked “emergency exit only” and shove me through it.
There are stairs leading up.
To the roof.
“You want to shift, you want to do more damage to dragons’ reputations in this world, you do it up there. You’re not destroying a building where people are doing good, where Pru is healing the sick.” Ash growls at me, his own eyes swirling with evidence that his own dragon is near the surface.
I know mine is teetering on the edge of control, but I don’t know if I can shift. I don’t know whether I’m even capable of doing it anymore. My dragon and I haven’t been one in so long, not truly the way shifters are meant to be with their animal halves.
What I do know is I’ll burn the world to the ground to find her.
Storming up the stairs, taking them two and three steps at a time, I rip open the roof hatch and take a deep breath of the salty ocean air. I don’t care that I’ve left talon marks on the hatch, or if it’ll ever close again.
I’ll donate a new wing or something once my mate is found.
My dragon’s rage feeds into mine. We just found her. We didn’t even get to claim her. As he stretches into my limbs, I scream through the pain of feeling my dragon stretch my body so he can take over.
Fuck, has it always been this painful? This disjointed? Or is this just my new reality, after the damage Brianna’s father and his humans have done?
Ash has already shifted, a beautiful green and purple beast, barely outlined by the setting sun. He’s standing in my way, ready to fight me if he has to. And I know he doesn’t want to.
Malcolm’s still human, waiting to see how the tides will shift, if Ash will need his help to contain me.
I let another roar as the pain throbs through my large body. I’ve got half a wing on the left side, a taloned foot shredding my shoe on the right, and scaly patches starting to ripple over my skin. The dark green scales burn as they settle into place. The ground gets further away, but I can still feel my human body as my dragon rips through it. This is the first shift we’ve done on our own since Brianna’s father captured me.
Declan, I didn’t know. Ash’s voice is trapped somewhere between horrified and sorrow.
At this point, I’d rather the horror. I don’t want pity. I want vengeance. There was a time he would stop at nothing until our parents’ murderer was brought to justice. Grey still roams free, and he’s mostly likely got my fucking mate.
I try to distract myself, reaching out to her mentally. No distance has kept her from me. But when I reach out, there’s nothing. I can’t feel her. I can’t hear her. It’s like she never existed at all, like she was a figment of my imagination, a spectre I created to get me through my torment that faded as soon as I was safe.
After several agonizing minutes, I finally feel like I’ve mostly shifted, like my dragon is almost entirely in control. Why then does it feel like I’m still broken? Like I’m a damaged, mangled fraction of the beast I used to be?
Declan. Ash’s voice again, but it sounds like it’s underwater, like there’s miles between us.
I wheel around, staring at him. What?
He projects an image to me, a monster that couldn’t possibly exist. Broken, jagged scales. A wing with scarring, holes, even a tear that runs almost the length of it. Talons that look like ragged bits of bone.
Eyes that swirl between purple and black.
What is this? Who is that?
It can’t be my dragon. My dragon is a fierce, strong warrior.
What happened to you, brother? This voice is Malcolm’s, and I turn again, pain radiating up my tail as it catches on one of the vent units on the roof.
I don’t know what tricks they’re trying to play, what horror they’ve cooked up, but it can’t possibly be me. The image flickers away and I just feel Ash and Malcolm’s pity and disgust. Their disgust hits all the way down to my core and I aggressively whip around, making them both give me space.
I have to find my mate. I will kill anyone who stands in my way.I run for the edge of the roof, only to get slammed to the surface by one of my brothers.
Maybe both.
Fuck, that hurt.
You are not flying like this, Declan. You’re going straight to Syrena. Don’t make me call Pru for a tranquilizer. Ash’s clawed foot pins my neck to the floor, and I move to throw him off, to fight him off just like I’ve fought off so many other creatures.
I wouldn’t willingly kill my brother. If I have to hurt him to go find Brianna, then so be it. I’m not willing to just sit around and do nothing. The longer I wait, the further away she gets.
But fuck, he’s strong. Has he always been this much stronger than me? I’ve been fighting for my life for months. I can take my damn brother, even if he is older. I struggle against him, but he doesn’t budge.
Don’t do it, Declan. Please.
Malcolm’s damn near sitting on top of me. When did he become so much heavier? So much bulkier? I used to be able to throw him around like he weighed nothing, like the youngling he was.
If you jump off this roof, you will crash into the ground. Those wings wouldn’t support the smallest of dragons. I know you’ve suffered, withered, but it won’t do you or your mate any good for you to break every bone in your body trying to save her.
He projects that image again, the mangled, broken dragon.
It can’t be me, can it?
I want to fight.
I want to stay a dragon.
I want to find my mate.
Claim her.
Mark her.
Make her mine.
But even as I try to cling to my dragon form, I feel the exhaustion settling into my scales.
This doesn’t make sense.
I should be able to hold this form for hours. Days if needed.
Why do I feel like I’m shrinking under the weight of my brothers?
Returning to my human form hurts almost as bad as shifting into a dragon did, and by the time I’m finally back in a human body, I’m shaking, sweating and freezing cold.
“I’ll call Syrena. You run down to Pru and see if Gavin leaves any spare clothes here, or if you can at least get a set of scrubs.” Ash points at Malcolm, commanding him like the king he is.
I try to get up, but my legs tremble under me and I collapse back to the gravel on the roof, looking up at my brother. Ash puts his hand on my shoulder before leaning down to help me. He takes my weight, so I’m barely standing on my own. He leads me back down into the hospital where we’re greeted by Pru and Malcolm.
Instead of going back to the safe house, or even Ash’s house, Pru insists on checking me out.
I don’t know what a hospital could do for me, for my dragon, that I can’t get from Syrena, or even just from time, but Ash demands it, and I don’t think I have the energy, the strength to stand up against multiple dragons right now.
It doesn’t matter though, as Syrena comes into the room with Pru, and they both start to run their tests. Pru’s are medical, and Syrena’s are magical, but they both feel like an unnecessary time suck.
A distraction to keep me from going after my mate.
“You need to rest. I’m going to make sure that happens, Declan. Don’t fight it.” Syrena injects me with something, and my body starts to feel heavy, like I’m sinking into the bed.
Even if I wanted to get up, I don’t think my legs would be able to support me.
I hear Ash’s voice just before I lose consciousness. “We’re looking for her, Declan. I swear, we’re doing everything we can.”