Chapter 18
eighteen
. . .
Jameson
R io is holding my arm tightly, telling me about her sleepover and the kitten and the cookies they baked. This morning's craziness is already behind her, but I feel as if I aged ten years in those frantic minutes. Indi drives us back to the house in Zander's truck. The dimple in her cheek creases deeper as Rio tells her stories. The one thing Rio doesn't talk about is where she was the whole time.
"How and where did you find her?" I finally ask. I'm hoping this never happens again, but I want to be ready and informed if it does.
Indi and Rio exchange secret winks. "A girl never shares her friend's secret," Indi says. "But she won't do this again. Right, Rio?"
Rio nods. "Right."
I'm about to prod further, but my lawyer has finally returned my call. And just in time. Nicole is parked in front of the house. I hop out first and walk away from the truck, a few yards down the sidewalk, to have my conversation. "Hey, Charlie, what did you find out?"
His pause doesn't help relieve the knot that's been in my stomach all morning. "Just to clarify—there was never any formal agreement on custody, right? Nicole just sent Rio to you and that was that."
"Right. She called me one day and told me I was a dad and that she needed a break from being a single parent. It was a lot to absorb all at once, and frankly, legalities didn't even enter my mind."
"First, the bad news—Nicole has every right to take Rio right now, and there's not much you can do to stop her. The last thing you want to do is something impulsive or illegal. And that brings me to the good news. We can get this custody battle started. With character references and witnesses to prove that you're a good father, we can get partial custody for sure."
"Partial? That's not good for Rio."
"Never is, but that's how a lot of kids grow up—in two homes. Should I start the process?"
"Yeah. So, she can take her from me right now?" As I ask it, I want to throw up or, at the very least, throw my fist at something.
"I'm afraid so."
I glance back toward the house. Rio is talking animatedly to her mom. I hear the kitten come up several times, which makes Nicole's nose crinkle. Indi is leaning against the side of the truck, trying not to get in the way of their conversation.
I can hear Nicole telling Rio she's allergic to cats as I reach the truck. Indi peers at me over the bed of the truck. I'm wearing every inch of emotion on my face, and her eyes instantly tear up.
Rio breaks away from her mom and runs over to me. She notices my bandage for the first time. "What happened to your arm, Daddy? Why are there cuts on your face?"
Nicole comes up from behind and takes her hand roughly. "Yes, Daddy , why are you all bandaged up?" she says wryly. "Come, baby, let's pack some of your things."
Nicole pulls her along, and Rio loses that previous snap in her walk. She glances back at me with big blue eyes. "Dad, is it all right if I go with Mom for a few days? I'll be back before you can even miss me."
I follow behind, muttering "that's not possible" under my breath. Indi stays outside. She's texting someone.
I stand outside Rio's room. She's telling her mom all about her friends at school. Nicole isn't paying any attention. She's too busy hurrying Rio along.
"Don't forget to take your dragon," I say from the hallway.
"Oh my gosh, I almost forgot Egbert." Rio jumps on her bed and snatches the stuffed green dragon from the pillow. She's excited to be back with her mom. This visit is long overdue, but I sure as hell wasn't planning for it to happen this way.
Nicole shakes her head at the dragon. "He's too big. Let's leave him here."
"She can't sleep without him," I say.
Nicole rolls her eyes and jams the dragon into Rio's little purple duffle bag. Rio runs to grab some of her things from the bathroom. Nicole has been avoiding eye contact, but I'm glaring at her from the doorway.
"You told me you couldn't handle her, that you needed to find yourself—whatever the fuck that means."
Nicole finally looks at me. I know I never loved her, but I'm no longer sure I even liked her. "I've got my act together now, and the man I'm dating, he has a young girl?—"
"Oh, so you are hoping Rio can step in and be a sibling babysitter, so you and the toad you're dating can have more time together. Rio told me she used to sit alone in the house for hours after school."
"I was working," she says indignantly.
"You still have to provide a babysitter."
"Too expensive but I'm doing better now, and Rio is older."
"Not old enough to be on her own as we both saw this morning. She's smart as can be, and she's maturing much faster than I expected, but she still makes kid decisions every once in a while. Here, she has a lot of people who love her?—"
"Who? Your brothers?" Her laugh is ugly. "Your father? My god people still shit their pants when they see that man."
"Rio loves him."
Nicole shakes her head. "After finding you beat up after an obvious fight and then sleeping on the couch with that bimbo and—may I remind you—we just spent the morning looking for Rio—I'm sure my decision to take her back is the right one." She pushes past me with the duffle. "Hurry up, Rio."
"Where are you going?" I ask. "I have a right to know."
"Not sure that's true at all. We'll probably stay local for a few days. I've got some friends to visit, then I'm heading south. I'm in San Jose right now."
"That's four hours away."
She ignores that and stops at the bathroom. "You don't need any of that, Rio. Let's go."
Rio comes out of the bathroom holding a bunch of lip gloss and hair bands in her tiny hands. She turns and sees me standing in front of her bedroom, wanting to melt into the floor and get swallowed up by middle-earth. She drops all the things in her hands. They clatter all over the hallway floor as she jumps over them and lands solidly in my arms.
"Don't look sad, Dad. I'll be back in a few days." She lifts her face and reaches her small hand up to press it against my cheek. "Turn that frown upside down, Sir James. You haven't gotten rid of me. I'll make you pancakes as soon as I'm back."
My heart and soul are in shreds, but I push up a smile. "You behave for your mom, and call me every day and night."
"I will." She kisses me on the cheek. Nicole doesn't look at me again, but Rio stops to wave at the door and again at the car. I'm holding myself together … for now.
Indi walks over to give her a long hug. She's wiping her eyes as she turns away. I try to catch a solid breath of air as I watch the car reach the end of the street and turn. Indi follows me into the house.
"Is there anything I can do?" Indi asks through sniffles.
I stand in my entryway for a few seconds, then turn and throw my fist into the wall. My stitches rip open, and blood trickles fast and furiously down my arm.
"Let me get some new wraps." Indi touches my shoulder. I move away from her hand.
"Just go, Indi. Please. Just go."
I hear the front door open and shut as I stare down at the drips of blood collecting on the floor.