Chapter 3
I watch Elliot and Ziggy finally relent, their worried looks softening when I assure them for the third time that I’ll be fine getting home on my own. “Seriously, guys,” I say, rolling my eyes, “I’m a big girl. I don’t need an escort. Go ahead, have a good night.”
I add a smile to ease their concern, but my heart is already racing for a different reason. As they head for the door, I don’t make a move to leave. Instead, I stay put, waiting for Oren to come back from the bar. My fingers drum on the table, a nervous energy buzzing through me.
When Oren finally returns, he gives me a look that’s loaded with meaning—a look that sends a jolt straight to my core. It’s the kind of look that says he knows exactly what he wants, and he thinks I might want the same thing. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but my pulse is hammering in my neck. I know this is reckless, that I should probably just walk out and call it a night, but the Tequila and the thrill of one more night together has me feeling bold, daring.
I meet his gaze, my eyes narrowing, full of determination with a little sprinkle of defiance. “Fine,” I say, my voice firm, decisive. “Let’s play, Samuels. One more time. But this is it. Just tonight.”
His grin widens victoriously, his eyes gleaming with that confident spark I both love and hate. “That’s all I’m asking for,” he replies, his tone assured.
He extends his hand to me, and for a fraction of a second, I hesitate. I know that once I take his hand, there’s no turning back. But I feel drawn to him, the electricity between us sparks, and all common sense flies out of my brain, so I throw caution to the wind. I slip my hand into his, feeling the warmth of his grip, and just like that, we’re on our way out of the bar, leaving the noise and the crowd behind us. Oren calls for a car, and within minutes, we’re heading back to his hotel, the excitement building with every passing block.
The ride is quiet, full of charged silence, the buzz of Tequila coursing through my veins, unspoken thoughts in my mind. His leg presses against mine, his hand still holding mine, and it’s enough to make my breath quicken. I know this is crazy, that I might regret this, but right now, I don’t care. I just want to feel alive again–with him.
The car pulls up to his hotel and Oren gets out first. He only lets go of my hand long enough to turn back around to face me, and offers it again, pulling me from the car. We make our way to the elevator, staying silent on the ride to his floor and all the way down the hallway; the tension between us is almost unbearable. My skin is tingling, my heart racing, and all I can think about is how badly I want to feel his hands on me soon. Oren wastes no time as he closes the door behind us. He pulls me into his arms, his lips crashing against mine with a hungry urgency that sends a jolt of fire to my core.
“I’m really glad you decided to come home with me again,” he breathes against my mouth, his hands moving to my waist, pressing me into his growing erection.
I press my lips to his, my tongue searching his mouth. I feed the fire within me, kissing him hard, before pulling back. In a whisper, my breath mingling with his, I say, “Then stop talking and show me.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before his lips are on mine again, more insistent this time, his hands moving over my body with a possessive heat that makes my skin tingle. My heart pounds in my chest, my blood singing with anticipation. I know this is risky, that this is playing with fire. That I might end up regretting it, but right now, none of that matters. I want this. I want to feel desired, wanted, alive.
I let myself melt into the kiss, my hands sliding up to pull his hair, getting pulled closer into his orbit as the world outside fades away. This might be a mistake, but it’s a mistake I’m willing to make, if only for tonight. His mouth capturing mine leaves no room for hesitation. It’s desperate, like he’s been waiting for this moment all night. His fingers slide up my face to tangle in my hair, his body pressing against mine, and I let the need between us take over.
Oren walks us backward toward the bed, our bodies still connected in an earth shattering kiss. He plays with the hem of my dress and I can faintly hear the sound of fabric tearing as he yanks the fabric up to my waist and I feel the rush of cool air on my skin. I gasp, but there’s no time to protest—not that I want to. He’s everywhere at once, his hands roaming, searching, like he can’t get close enough fast enough. He perches on the edge of the bed, his eyes boring into my every cell.
“Come here,” he murmurs, his voice rough with desire, and I let him guide me, pushing me down to straddle his lap.
I feel his hands gripping my waist, urging me closer, his breath hot against my neck. My heart is racing, my mind spinning, but I don’t pull back. I lean into him, feeling the heat of his body, the strength in his touch. He lightly brushes his fingers over my ankles, moving up my legs and to my thighs then to play with the edge of my underwear. After having a baby, the thought of wearing a thong is less than appealing so these probably have more fabric than what Oren is used to. I feel the fabric leave my skin and I adjust slightly so he can move them down my leg, but instead I feel the power of his muscles ripping the fabric from my body in a hurried rush.
“What the fuck?” I ask him, startled by the now torn and tattered underwear on the ground.
“They were in my way,” Oren says with a smirk.
His hands tighten around my waist as he moves us further onto the bed. He lays back, his head relaxing on the mattress, looking up at me with a playful grin.
“Get that wet cunt of yours up here. I’m going to feast on the taste of you,” he demands, his voice low and coaxing.
I move with his direction so that I am straddling his head as he leaves light kisses along my inner thighs and over my entrance.
"Come on, Rachel, put your full weight on me," he urges, pulling me closer.
But I hesitate, feeling a sudden rush of self-consciousness flood through me. I shake my head, my cheeks flushing. "I can’t… you don’t know what you’re asking," I murmur, biting my lip, embarrassed at the thought of pressing all of myself against him.
He catches my hesitation and his urgency softens, turning into something reassuring. "I know exactly what I’m asking," he whispers, his hands still firm on my hips, his eyes holding mine like he's trying to convince me that he can handle every part of me—even the parts I’m afraid to let go of.
I feel a rush of heat spread through me as I settle down onto his face, trying to be comfortable with the position that I’m in. He pulls me closer, his hands firm and confident as they press against my hips, guiding me to where he wants me. He ravages my center as he pulls my clit between his lips, introducing a little bit of pain with the pleasure he is giving me.
My body trembles with anticipation and I’m already on edge when his tongue teases me, but I dig down into his touch as he plunges his tongue into my pussy. Every single thought I’ve ever had scatters. His tongue is relentless, skilled, and I gasp, my hands gripping the sheets, trying to hold on to something, anything. I barely register as his hands move behind me, kneading my ass cheeks. One of his hands slips lower, teasing at my other entrance, and a sharp thrill runs through me. He drags a finger down my body, coating it with my arousal before bringing it back to between my cheeks. A mix of uncertainty and excitement fills me as he pushes me further, toying with my asshole. The sensation causes me to scream out his name.
“Relax for me,” Oren whispers, circling my tight hole. He presses his finger further into my ass and his assault on both my clit and ass causes me to drench his face.“ You are coming on my face at least once, if not twice, before we go any further.” Oren growls
“Fuck… Yes.” I whimper out.
My inhibitions leave the minute my climax starts to build as I ride his face, urging him to leave me breathless, helpless, and completely overwhelmed as the pleasure rips through my body.
After the energy expended from my orgasms, yes multiple, leaves my body, I collapse on the bed next to him. I roll over to watch him as his body shudders, his thick cock straining at his pants. Oren has this raw, magnetic energy that pulls me in. His bleached hair falls in springy coils over his forehead with the sides of his haircut shaved tight along his skull in a way that is perfectly him. His hair is longer and artificially blonder than our first night together. He still looks like he’s come directly from one of my darkest fantasies. His green eyes—bright and piercing—seem to challenge everything and everyone around him.
The ink of his tattoos stands out against his deep, tan skin, the patterns twisting and curling over lean muscles like they’re part of his very soul. The harshness of the wolf on his neck is just the tip of the iceberg of his personality. Each tattoo feels like a secret, a story waiting to be told, and they add to the edge he carries with him everywhere he goes. There’s a roughness about him, a thrilling unpredictability that makes being with him feel like a walk on the wild side. It’s like standing too close to a fire—you know there’s a risk of getting burned, but the heat is impossible to resist.
He maneuvers so that he is standing up in front of the mirror at the edge of the hotel bed. He pulls me up with him and turns me around. I catch our reflections in the glass. The sight of myself catches me off guard—flushed cheeks, hair wild, my clothes tattered and bunched around my middle, my skin glistening with a sheen of sweat. I look completely undone in a way that is strangely intoxicating.
The hunger in his eyes as he watches me through the mirror sends a shiver through me; his eyes search me like I'm a craving that he doesn’t let himself indulge in often. I feel an uncontrollable surge of heat flood through me, knowing he’s the one who’s done this to me, who’s made me feel like I’m burning from the inside out. My body is trembling, dripping wet for him.
Oren's hands are all over me, tugging at my clothes, pulling me closer, my movements mirroring his. My fingers fumble as I try to peel his shirt off, my breath coming in ragged gasps. But as the last barrier between us falls away, a wave of panic grips me. This is the first time I’ve been with anyone since having Lily, and a thousand fears rush in at once. What if he can tell? What if everything feels different, wrong? What if it hurts? My heartbeat quickens, not from excitement, but from anxiety, my chest tightening as doubts swirl in my head.
I feel my hands start to shake, and suddenly I’m terrified that I’ve made a mistake. Oren stops, his gaze softening, and I see the understanding in his eyes. He senses it—the hesitation, the fear. Slowly, he eases in closer, his touch gentler now, soothing, his voice a low whisper in my ear.
“Hey… it’s okay. Just breathe. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, and for a moment, I believe him. I let myself trust that he can handle my vulnerability, my fears, and that maybe, this doesn’t have to be as scary as it feels. I want this, I shouldn’t let insecurities get in the way.
Oren kneels on the bed, pulling me toward him. His lips find mine, and I can taste myself on his tongue as he gives me a reassuring kiss. My doubts and fears disappear as I melt into him. He turns my body so that I am facing the mirror with his body behind me. I make eye contact with Oren’s intense expression from his place behind me, his gaze locked in on mine, never waning.
The room feels small, the air thick with lust, and I can’t look away. Oren’s hands are firm on my hips as he moves behind me, his touch both commanding and careful. I let myself get lost in the sensation, in the way he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters.
I watch as he pulls a condom from the bedside table. He slides it down his length without a care in the world. His eyes never leave my body, raking up and down every inch of me, “Ass up, Rachel. Show off that dripping cunt of yours. Let me disrespect you the way I know you want me to.” His tip slowly presses into me as I adjust my body to allow him in.
He moves slowly, allowing me to adjust to the size of his thick cock. Once he is fully seated deep inside me, I let out a big exhale of breath I didn’t know I was holding. My body feels more comfortable as I slowly work myself up and down his length.
I grip the sheets, my head spinning as he works me with a skill that leaves me breathless, my body arching back into him. Every doubt, every fear melts away under his touch, replaced by a sharp, intoxicating pleasure that makes me feel alive in a way I never have.
“Fuck me harder, Samuels,” I cry out as he pulls all the way out and presses back into me.
I feel a rush of heat spread through my body as he spreads my ass cheeks wider, exposing me. The last time I slept with him was good, but I don’t remember it being this good. The feeling of his body on mine sends a jolt of something unfamiliar and thrilling through my veins. My breath catches in my throat when he spits down between my cheeks. He spreads spit over my asshole, teasing, exploring. Who knew that Oren Samuels was such an ass man? I feel a blush rise to my cheeks as his cock and fingers urge the craziest sounds from my lips.
“Look at me,” he whispers, and I do.
There’s a rhythm to our movements, a sync that feels both familiar and new. I watch him in the mirror, watch the way his mouth curves into a grin, watch the way his hands grip me tighter, pulling me closer, deeper. It’s intoxicating, this feeling of being completely seen, completely wanted. I feel a rush of adrenaline, my skin tingling with every touch, every glance.
“Do you like watching me pound into you?” Oren grits out, his eyes searching mine in the mirror.
I nod my head, enthusiastically. Unable to speak words, just gibberish. I feel like I’m on fire, my senses overwhelmed. I know I’m going to come undone. I don’t care. I want this, want him, want the way he makes me feel.
His eyes drop to where our bodies are connected. “I like the way you look taking my cock.”
“Oh my God, Samuels. You’re going to make me come again,” I pant. “Yes, that’s it. Right there. YES!”
My inner walls start to convulse as his cock hits a spot that triggers another mind bending orgrasm. Oren’s moves become more ragged, unrestrained as he chases his own release. He pumps into me once more before growling out as he fills the condom.
When our orgasms are both over, and we’re both spent and breathless, I collapse onto the bed. His body falls into mine, his chest against my back, his head resting on my shoulder. I can hear his heartbeat, feel the rise and fall of his chest. I let myself stay there, enjoying the calm after the storm. His arms wrap around me, his breath warm against my hair. I close my eyes, savoring the closeness.
For a brief moment, I let myself sink into the warmth of his body as he shifts to my side, pulling me flush to his chest. The steady rhythm of his breathing comforts me, the weight of his arm draped lazily across my waist, a welcomed restraint. It’s tempting to stay like this, just for a little longer, to forget everything outside this room. But reality creeps back in, sharp and relentless, and I remember why I swore off ever seeing him again after our first encounter a year ago.
What am I doing? I think, panic rising in my chest. I’ve got a child now, responsibilities… I shouldn’t be here. This was supposed to be a one-time thing, a fleeting moment of escape, and now it’s become two. Two nights that could change everything, that could unravel all the secrets I’ve kept so tightly wrapped. I can’t afford for him to find out, to question me, to give him a glimpse of a reality that is already too complicated.
Oren’s breathing evens out as he falls asleep, his arm still holding me around my waist. My heart pounds as I carefully slip out of the bed, moving slowly so I don’t wake him. I glance around for something to cover myself with. My dress is a mess on the floor, torn at the seams, and I stifle a small laugh at the absurdity of it all. I spot his shirt draped over a chair—a simple, soft cotton tee that smells like him, warm and familiar.
I grab it, slipping it over my head, the fabric hanging loose around me, and I feel a strange mix of comfort and guilt. My hands shake as my mind races with the possible consequences of this night, the way it could shatter the fragile balance I’ve worked so hard to maintain.
I take one last look at Oren, still asleep, his face peaceful, and I feel a pang in my chest that I don’t want to examine too closely. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have let this happen again. But I don’t regret it. Not tonight. I quietly grab my things and slip out the door, back out into the world, back to my reality.
I take a deep breath while I wait for my Uber, trying to clear my head. Trying to push away the thoughts that are already crowding in. The weight of tonight. How I can still feel the lingering warmth of his touch, the way he made me feel like I was everything, even if just for a moment. I shake my head, trying to focus, trying to convince myself that I won’t let this happen again. Because I know that as much as I crave that feeling, I can’t afford the price that comes with it.
I slip through my front door, still wearing Oren’s shirt over my dress, the hem brushing my thighs, smelling faintly of him. The apartment is quiet, the kind of stillness that feels like both a relief and a reprimand. I let out a breath, my heart still thudding in my chest. Heidi, the nanny, glances up from the couch, her eyebrows raising just slightly. She’s polite enough not to ask any questions, but I see the hint of curiosity in her eyes, the slight judgment she tries to hide behind a neutral expression.
“Sorry I’m late,” I whisper, fishing cash from my purse and handing it to her. She shakes her head with a small smile, waving it off.
“It’s okay, Rachel. Everyone deserves a night out,” she says lightly, but I wonder if she’s thinking more. Wondering where I’ve been and why I’m wearing a man’s shirt. I nod, trying to smile back, but my face feels tight, stretched too thin. She leaves, and I’m alone again, alone with my thoughts.
I tiptoe across the living room, slipping into my room. The faint glow from the nightlight casts a soft halo around Lily’s crib. I stand beside it, and I feel my heart squeeze in my chest as I watch her sleep. Her tiny chest rising and falling with each gentle breath. Her little face is peaceful, her mouth forming a tiny, perfect pout, her fists curled up near her cheeks. I feel a pang of guilt so strong it’s almost physical, twisting in my stomach. I fucked up.
I reach down and lightly brush a hand over her soft hair, my fingers trembling. What is wrong with me? I ask myself, staring at my daughter, feeling the weight of my choices crashing down on me. No more distractions. I straighten up, my chest tight, and force myself to step back, away from the crib. I can’t let myself get caught up in whatever tonight made me feel. I can’t afford to let him into this world I’ve built, this fragile balance I’ve tried so hard to maintain. For Lily’s sake, for my own.
I return to the living room, still feeling the softness of his shirt against my skin, the scent of him lingering. I shake my head, trying to clear the fog, and head for the bathroom. I peel off the shirt, folding it carefully as if it’s something precious, even though I know I should throw it away. I slip into a hot shower, hoping the water will wash away the confusion, the guilt, the uncertainty, the heat of his touch that still lingers on my skin.
But even as the water cascades over me, I can’t shake the feeling that something has shifted, something moved and I will never quite put it back in the same spot. I wanted to keep things simple, but that’s a sick joke. It was too late for that to happen the minute I got pregnant with Lily. The impact of Oren is all around me, his presence sticking to me like a second skin.
I dry off and change into my pajamas, moving through the apartment on autopilot, my mind still racing. I make my way back to Lily’s crib one last time, leaning over to kiss her soft forehead.
“Goodnight, little goose. I love you,” I whisper.
I shuffle over to my bed and crawl into the covers, seeking comfort. The pull of Oren is stronger than ever before, the way he makes me feel alive, makes me question every decision I’ve made. I close my eyes, determined to forget, determined to move on. But deep down, I know it won’t be that easy.