Chapter 17
Three days left in Atlanta, and it feels like time is slipping through my fingers. The five days have gone by like a dream, each day better than the last. I’ve noticed how Lily’s face lights up when I walk into the room, the way her eyes get brighter, and how she reaches out for me to hold her. I’m pretty sure I’ve become someone who matters to her, and I can't help but hope that this means that our bond will continue to grow even after I leave. I want to keep it going forever if I can.
Rachel has the next two days off, and that means no Heidi. I decide it’s the perfect time to give Rachel a little break, to do something extra nice for her. I’ve arranged a day full of surprises. But before any of it can happen, I need to convince her that I can handle watching Lily by myself for a few hours. I find Rachel in the kitchen, her hair pulled to the top of her head in a messy bun. If the version of Rachel that the world sees is beautiful, the around the house version of her is even sexier.
“Hey,” I say, leaning against the counter, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
She looks up, a little wary as she raises an eyebrow. “A surprise?”
“Yeah,” I nod, trying to keep it casual. “I booked you an afternoon at the spa. Just some time to relax. I figured you deserve it.”
“Oren…I don’t know.” Her eyes widen in surprise, then concern. She starts to freak out. “What about Lily? I can’t leave her for that long.”
“I’ve got it covered,” I say, putting on my most convincing smile. “I’ll watch Lily while you’re at the spa. We’ll be fine. I promise.”
Rachel chews on her bottom lip, clearly torn. “I don’t know…it’s not that I don’t trust you, I just—”
I cut her off gently. “Rachel, we will be fine. You deserve a break. Let me do this for you. Trust me, please.”
She studies me carefully, and I can see all the calculations happening in her brain. Finally, she exhales, nodding slowly. “Fine, but promise me that you will call if anything happens. Anything at all!”
“I promise,” I say, feeling a rush of victory. “Just enjoy yourself. I’ll take care of everything.”
A couple hours later, I drop her off at the spa with her promise that she will relax and not worry. “I’ll be back in a few hours to pick you up,” I tell her before she shuts the door.
“Okay,” she says, still looking a bit uncomfortable but a small smile starts to touch the corner of her lips. “I’ll see you then.”
We stay and wave until Rachel makes it inside before driving off in Rachel’s car, with Lily in her car seat. I take Lily to the zoo. We walk around for a while, checking out the animals. With each animal exhibit I tell Lily all the random facts I know about each of the animals. Her big, curious eyes search between my face and the exhibit everytime I talk to her. After the Zoo, I make sure we’re waiting outside the spa early, ready to pick up Rachel as promised. She comes out, in a blissful state of relaxation, and that brings a smile to my face.
“Hey,” I say, waving. “How was it?”
She smiles back, a little shy. “It was amazing,” she admits. “Thank you, Oren. Truly.”
“No big deal.” I shrug, acting cool as a cucumber. “Just wanted you to have a good day. And Lily and I had a blast at the zoo.”
I tell Rachel about our day, and how after all the animals at the Zoo the one she was most mesmerized by was a goose that wouldn’t stop honking. Rachel doubles over in her seat laughing, real tears slipping down her cheeks, her eyes sparkling.
“Sounds about right,” she says. “The first time she saw a goose, she freaked out, smiling, laughing…that’s why I call her my silly little goose.”
Hearing that makes my chest tighten in a good way, like I’m getting a glimpse of what I’ve missed. “Yeah, she’s definitely your silly little goose,” I say, chuckling.
From the spa, we head to her favorite Mexican restaurant. I order us each a margarita and enough queso to drown in. Over our queso, we just talk about whatever comes to mind. She tells me about how busy Sunday’s triple header on the network is going to be. We talk about hockey in a way that is fun for both of us. I listen to her, really listen, soaking up every detail. While we eat, Lily is a happy camper, and it feels like we’re a strange little family.
On our way back to Rachel’s apartment, she looks at me and says, “I’ll do the bath and bedtime routine tonight. I missed her.”
I nod, understanding completely. It’s so obvious how much Rachel loves our daughter. The pain is already starting to settle in, the realization that I only have two more days here and it hits me just how much I’m going to miss this when I leave. Less than two days to soak up every second with them. After Lily is asleep, Rachel starts to head to her room, and I feel a pang of disappointment, not ready for the day to end just yet.
“Hey,” I call after her awkwardly. Barely stumbling over my words. “Do you… want to watch a movie or something?”
She shuffles a bit but then nods. “Yeah, okay, sure,” she says, surprising me. “That sounds nice.”
We settle on the couch, at opposite ends, with a very safe distance between us. The movie starts, and at first, she sits there very stiffly, but slowly starts to relax against the cushions. She gets lost in the movie but instead I spend the rest of the time watching her. Like a real creep, but I can’ help it. Rachel really is an amazing, beautiful creature. I can’t believe that I was lucky enough for her to even give me the time of day. If I had one wish, it would be that I had been less of a bonafide dick when we met. If I could go back and change things, I hope that I would have the hindsight to know that she was going to be the one that got away.
The next morning, I wake up feeling like we’ve been doing this forever. We make brunch together, then spend the day around the apartment, just hanging out, like we belong together, just coexisting, and it’s…good. It feels like a life I could have if things were different, and I hold onto that feeling tightly, knowing my time here is running out.
My last day in town, Rachel has to work an extra long day of filming. She’s out the door early, and I offer to take care of Lily on my own, insisting Heidi doesn’t need to come over so early. I don’t think Rachel loves the idea but agrees, reminding me to call her and Heidi if anything happens. I, of course, promise her I will.
Heidi comes over late in the afternoon, with plenty of time to get settled before I have to head to the airport. I spend every second with Lily, savoring each giggle, every smile, every unintelligible babble. And when the time comes, I put her to bed, my heart breaking over having to leave, as I watch her eyes flutter shut. I pack up my things quietly, clearing the space I had occupied like I was never here. It sucks. It really fucking sucks.
Oren: Lily ate,
had a bath, and was
asleep when I left.
Heidi’s holding down
the fort. I’m on the
way to the airport.
Rachel: Thanks, Oren.
Don’t worry, we’ll figure
out another time for
you to spend with Lily
again soon. It’s really
important to both of us.
I stare at the screen, her words more important to me than she knows. Or that I even realized. They are exactly what I need to get back to hockey, to my life back in Arizona and on the road.