Chapter 27
It’s bright and early. I’m sitting at the kitchen table with Lily on my lap while she aimlessly plays with the edge of her bib. My phone sits on the table, taunting me with the idea to call Oren under the guise of Lily wanting to wish him luck for the game tonight. But that’s not why I’m calling him. The truth is, I just want to talk to him. Last night after he got to New Orleans, he was being weird. The conversation felt strange and distant as if there was something he wasn’t telling me.
“Alright, little goose, let’s call Daddy,” I whisper to Lily, though the word is causing my throat to constrict with a ball of emotion.
I press the video call button and wait, watching the phone ring and ring, my nerves twisting with every second that passes. It never takes him this long to pick up, and when he finally does, my breath catches. Oren looks terrible.
His face is black and blue, and there is a terrible looking split down his lip and a swollen eyelid that wasn’t there when he left this apartment yesterday. His bright eyes are clouded over, heavier with a dark dreariness.
“Hey,” I say softly, trying to not cause an absolute scene the second I see his face. “Lily wanted to wish you good luck before tonight's game.”
Oren forces a stiff smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. It's a placating smile. “Thanks, Lily. I appreciate it.” He sounds rough, looks rough, like he hasn’t slept at all.
“What’s up?” I tilt my head, narrowing my eyes. “You don’t look…great.”
He shrugs, but it’s lackluster. “I’m fine. Just...practice and the game.”
“Practice? Game stuff?” I frown. “I call bullshit, Oren. What happened?”
There’s a beat of silence, and I watch the struggle on his face, his jaw tight, physically holding back whatever he wants to say. “It’s nothing. Just drop it.”
Drop it? I can’t just drop it. I refuse to drop it, especially when he looks like he was beaten to hell and back. “Oren, please. What changed between yesterday morning and now? Just talk to me.”
His silence stretches out for a few long seconds, and I think he’s going to ignore me entirely. But then, he snaps. “Elliot,” he says, his voice full of anger. “Elliot beat the shit out of me, Rachel. That’s what happened.”
I blink, my heart lurching. “Wait…what?”
Oren runs a hand over his tightly trimmed hair, frustration oozing out of every movement. “Yeah. He assumed the worst like I’m some fucking deadbeat or something.”
“Oh, no.” My throat tightens.
“I’m assuming, based on the situation, that you told him and Ziggy the truth. A little heads up would have been nice.” He gives me a pointed look through the camera. Yeah, I definitely should have warned him. I open my mouth to say something, but I don’t have the chance. “And the first thing he did once he saw me was throw punches. Didn’t even give me a chance to explain. He just assumed I messed up your life, that I hurt you, or that I didn’t care.”
Oren’s face twists as he stares into his phone, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Oh, Oren… I–,” but he cuts me off.
“He thought I was nothing but a coward,” he continues, the words tumbling out now, his eyes full of hurt and anger. “A fucking coward, Rachel. And you know what? He’s probably right. I’ve spent so long trying to keep things easy, avoiding any semblance of responsibility because it's easier to not screw up my life that way. But all I did was become the person I am today. The guy that no one can count on. With Lily...with you...I don’t know how to do this. I don’t think I'm capable of being the type of guy that you guys need. You were right to leave me behind.”
The fact that he thinks that hits me like a punch to the gut. I stare at him, my heart breaking as I hear the vulnerability in his voice. A rawness that I’ve never seen in him before, one that, in any other situation, I might appreciate. How he is feeling isn’t just about Elliot’s punches. It is about every doubt that’s been building up inside of him. Every fear that he’s not good enough.
“Oren,” I say softly, my voice catching in my throat. “Elliot’s wrong. You are far from wrong. And I’m an asshole for thinking that you wouldn’t be there for Lily. So totally, completely wrong. You’re here, right? You’re trying in every way you can, and that matters most.”
“But is it enough?” He shakes his head, his eyes flicking away from the screen as if he can’t bear to look at me. “What if I’m just...not good enough?”
I don’t even know how to respond to that. I want to tell him he’s wrong and that he’s more than enough. But the pain in his words slices through me. I can feel how deep his self-doubt runs, how he buries it under charm and swagger. And the worst part is, I understand. I know what it’s like to question yourself, to wonder if you’re capable of living up to the expectations that others have of you or, worse, the ones you have of yourself.
“Oren, listen very carefully.” I lean toward the screen, hoping that he truly listens to me. “You’re enough. You always have been. Not telling you the truth was way more about my own insecurities than yours. And Elliot...he is angry, and he had no right to say those things. And I—” I pause, swallowing back the tears. “I was wrong too. I should’ve given you the chance to be there from the start.”
“Listen…I didn’t tell you this to get sympathy, Rachel,” he says after a very long pause. “I just…I needed to get it out. You’ve got enough on your plate, you don’t need to worry about me. I’ll get over it.”
But I do worry. I care about him so much already. Much more than I want to admit, and seeing him like this, in so much pain, full of hurt and self-doubt. I wasn’t ready for this conversation, but it needed to happen.
“I know, but I’m here anyway,” I tell him quietly. “Part of having Lily together is that you don't have to go through this alone, either.”
Oren nods a small, almost imperceptible gesture. “I’ll call you after the game.”
I stare at the blank screen after he hangs up, heartbreak swirling into something sharper, hotter. Anger. Pure, unadulterated, undeniable anger. How dare Elliot lay into Oren like that? How could he call him a coward when I’m the one he should be mad at? How dare he just assume the worst and throw punches! If Elliot thinks he can just beat the crap out of Oren and act like he knows best? Nope. Absolutely not. Elliot has another thing coming. There’s no way I’m letting this slide. Not today.
I rush to the bedroom, throwing on my work clothes—anything I can grab that looks halfway decent. My mind is still preoccupied with the image of Oren’s bruised face. I go through the motions of getting ready, not paying attention to what I’m doing, only letting the frustration bubble out of me like lava flow. The second Heidi knocks on the door, I practically yank it open, startling her.
"Morning, Rachel," she says, her tone cheerful, but I don’t bother trying to muster a smile.
"Morning," I snap, barely pausing to give her any real instructions. “Lily’s in her play area. Everything’s the same as usual. I’ll be back later."
She blinks, her smile faltering as she takes me in. "Uh, sure, no problem. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I mutter through gritted teeth. "Just need to handle something."
Without waiting for a reply, I call out my goodbye to Lily, grab my work bag, and storm out the door. I don’t care about anything else right now. Work and being professional can take a backseat. First thing is first, and it’s giving Elliot a piece of my mind. He doesn’t get to wreck Oren when all the man is doing is trying to step up and be there for Lily.
I storm through the office, my blood boiling, searching for Elliot. I know he’s here somewhere, and I’m not leaving until I get the answers I deserve. He is just out here acting like a damn vigilante. Who does he think he is? I spot him in the corner of the office, sitting at his desk with his back to me, headphones on, completely unaware of what’s heading his way.
"Elliot!" I bark, ripping his headphones off his head.
He jumps, startled, spinning around to face me. "Rachel, what the hell—"
"What the hell?" I cut him off, my voice full of rage. "What were you thinking? You beat Oren to a pulp? Are you out of your mind?"
His expression hardens, but I can see the guilt deep in his eyes. He crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair like he’s trying to act cool, but I won’t stand for it. "I did what I had to do," he says flatly. "He deserved it."
I bark out a sarcastic laugh, bitterly shaking my head. "Oh, he deserved it? Really? For what, exactly? For being Lily’s father? For being kept in the dark just like you? Is that it?"
"Don’t twist this around, Rachel!" he snaps, standing up now, his voice rising. "You kept us in the dark! Me, Ziggy—everyone! You lied to our faces for months!"
I narrow my eyes, the anger only growing. "Don’t you dare bring Ziggy into this. Ziggy and I are good, we already had a meaningful conversation. This is about you, Elliot. You’re pissed because you feel left out or got your feelings hurt. Now you’re taking it out on Oren.”
He blinks, clearly taken aback by my directness. "It’s not about me—" We stand there, both fuming, causing a scene but not backing down. "You didn’t trust us enough to tell us the truth," he mutters, his voice laced with hurt, jaw straining. "You didn’t trust me."
I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "It wasn’t about trust, Elliot. It was never about that. It was about me trying to figure out what the hell to do. That’s all."
"That’s bullshit," he spits, his eyes flashing angrily. "We’ve been friends for years, and you kept something this big from me? From your best friends?"
"Oh, come on, Elliot," I interrupt, crossing my arms in front of me. "Let’s not pretend this isn’t about your ego being bruised. I get it. You’re mad, and you feel betrayed. Guess what? Join the damn club. It wasn’t personal. It was a mess, and I didn’t know how to fix it once I kept the truth from you. Once I started lying, it just got easier to keep going."
He flinches at my words, his jaw tightening. "We’re supposed to be family, and you left us in the dark. That hurts, okay? You can’t just brush that off like it’s nothing."
I throw my hands up in frustration, my voice rising. "Do you think this was easy for me? Do you think I wanted any of this? I was scared, Elliot. I didn’t even know what to do half the time. And I kept the truth to myself once, and from there, I just got stuck. It became this big thing, and I didn’t know how to unravel it without hurting everyone."
He looks at me, his face softening just a bit, but there’s still hurt there, simmering beneath the surface. "You could’ve trusted me."
"Trusted you?" I laugh bitterly, shaking my head. "The minute you found out, you beat the shit out of Oren! You didn’t even stop to ask questions, to understand. You just reacted. Don’t judge me for how I handled things when you did a shit job of handling things, too.”
He stands there, his face flushed with emotion, but he’s silent. I can see the hurt in his eyes, the anger, but I don’t care right now. He had no right to do what he did.
"You’re not the victim here, Elliot," I say, my voice soft but firm. "Oren is. He’s the one who missed out on months of Lily’s life because I didn’t tell him. He’s the one trying to make it right, and you beat the shit out of him because you assumed the worst. You think that makes you a good friend?"
He flinches, the truth of my words hitting him hard, but he doubles down. "I was pissed, Rachel. You lied to me."
"I lied to everyone !" I shout, pulling at my hair. "I lied because I was scared. I was just trying to survive."
The guilt starts to build in his eyes as the realization hits that he went too far. But I know Elliot—he’s too damn proud to admit it. At least right now. I take a deep breath, trying to rein in my frustration, but it’s no use. "Elliot, you just made everything worse. He’s been trying so hard, and all you did was make him feel like he’s not good enough. Like we are better off without him. That isn’t how any of us want this to end up.”
He looks at me, surprise in his eyes. "I didn’t mean to—"
"Yeah, well, you did," I snap. "You made him doubt everything, and you made me feel like everything you said might be right."
Elliot’s face falls slightly, and I can see the regret written across his face. "I didn’t think—"
"No, you didn’t think," I say, shaking my head. "You just acted. And now I’m stuck cleaning up the mess you made. You better figure out how to make this right, Elliot.” With that, I storm off, leaving him standing there, guilt ridden and, hopefully, reeling from my verbal beat down.