Chapter 42
The last few weeks have been nothing short of perfect. Each morning I’ve woken up with Oren’s arms around me, his warmth blanketing my body. Then at the end of each long day, I fall asleep with my head resting on his chest. It’s absolute and complete bliss being in our own little bubble. But what the parenting books don’t prepare you for is how difficult it is to find alone time.
Between Oren’s doctor appointments, physical therapy, and the general effort it takes to chase after Lily, we’re both so exhausted by the time we get in bed. This level of exhaustion will only get worse when I go back to work. Once we are finally alone and have fallen into bed, we barely get a few kisses in before we’re out cold. It might take a while to find our balance, but neither of us is giving up.
That’s why I take advantage of waking up at the start of dawn. The soft morning light is just beginning to filter through the curtains, and I take matters into my own hands, literally. I run my palm down the planes of his abs. Once I reach his dick, I find the morning wood already settling in, and I begin to stroke him gently. His breathing shifts from deep sleep to quickening with interest, and I feel his muscles flex as his eyes flutter open. They darken quickly, and a seductive smile curls on his lips before he rolls over onto his side, pressing me down onto my back.
I turn my body, opening myself up to him in a way that can allow him to feast on me and not risk hurting himself. Without saying a word, he places his palm flat between the valley of my breast, keeping me flat, and his lips scattering kisses across my stomach before moving lower. His movements aren’t hurried as he slips his fingers into the sides of my sleep shorts. I lift my hips slightly, allowing him to slip the fabric from my body. He slides his palms back up my inner thighs, pressing my legs wider and the tops of my thighs to my chest as he licks from my clit to my asshole, and everywhere in between. How he makes me feel shouldn’t feel as good as it does, but damn it if it doesn’t feel amazing. He adjusts his grip on my thighs, as his tongue flicks against my clit, soft at first, teasing, but he picks up the pace quickly, applying more pressure, building my desire for more, pushing me closer to the edge. I bite my lip but still cry out despite trying to keep quiet.
“Keep it down,” he murmurs, his eyes dark and full of desire as he languidly licks my pussy. “If you scream and wake Lily, we have to stop.”
His mouth works me skillfully. He thrusts his tongue inside of me. His thumb moves in rough patterns over my clit. Within mere moments, I’m arching off the bed, fingers tearing at the sheets, my breathing rough gasps as I come all over his face. But he’s not finished with me. He slides his finger through the wetness, curling his fingers into my front wall, stroking in time with how his tongue moves over my swollen clit. I have no time to come down from the high before a second toe curling release rips through me even harder than before.
I need more, the need to feel more of him even deeper surges through me. I push him off, scrambling to the edge of the bed, and beg for him on all fours. “I need you inside me,” I whisper, barely able to form the words. “Now.”
I look back over my shoulder, watching Oren’s eyes narrow, a hungry, lustful look all over his face. He slips his boxers down and steps free of them, careful with his knee, and positions himself behind me and slowly presses into me. My body is completely ready for him, my pussy adjusting to his size quickly, ready for him to let loose, but he takes his time. He rubs up and down over my curves gently as he moves with an infuriatingly slow rhythm. Every thrust is cautious, and it drives me crazy in ways that piss me off and get me off at the same time.
“Faster,” I beg, my voice desperate, but he doesn’t listen.
Instead, he bends down, his chest pressed flat into my back. He slips his hand around to cover my mouth lightly.
“Quiet,” he whispers in my ear, his lips brushing against it.
He turns my head by my chin, tilting it so he can capture my lips with his. The kiss is passionate and soft as he slowly presses deeply into me before pulling out until it feels like he might pull out entirely before doing it again and again. Slowly, sensually torturing me. I’m teetering on the edge, so close to feeling an orgasm rock through my entire body, when a loud scream cuts through the entire apartment. Lily.
Oren pulls out of me so quickly that I almost fall off the bed. We both start to scramble, the blissful sex haze gone in an instant. I slip on my robe while Oren throws on his sweats, and I rush into Lily’s room with Oren's faint hobble not far behind me.
Lily’s standing in her crib, facial features scrunched up as she screams, tears streaming down her face. I scoop her up, rocking her gently, whispering soothingly until she starts to calm down. Oren walks over to stand beside us, running a hand over the back of his head, the short buzzed hair bristling with the movement, his expression equal parts concerned and frustrated.
"Well, damn," he mutters, shaking his head with a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "I guess blue balls are on the menu this morning.”
I laugh softly, kissing Lily’s head as she presses her face into my chest. Deep down, the frustration is mutual. Figuring out how all of this is going to work will take time. But as Oren wraps his arms around both of us and leans in to kiss Lily’s cheek, everything about him is so soft and loving as he looks at her. I know it's worth it, however long it takes. I know we’ll get there—we have to. I don’t know if I’ll survive it otherwise.
The next morning, something feels off when I wake up. Oren is up before me, which has not been the norm post-surgery just because things generally have been more difficult. From the comfort of still being under the covers, I can hear him moving around the kitchen, and by the sounds of it, wreaking havoc. I force myself out of bed, the scent of something on fire hitting my nose as I cross the threshold of the hallway. Oren is standing at the stove, a spatula in one hand and a blackened, charred pancake in the other, and he looks disgruntled. Lily is strapped into her high chair, babbling to herself, pounding her fists into the empty tray as Oren fumbles with a blender.
"I have several questions, but let’s start with what's in the blender?" I ask, leaning against the counter, holding back a teasing smile. "And why exactly do you need it to burn pancakes?"
He barely looks up, muttering something about a special smoothie that’s supposed to be good for brain and motor function development. My first instinct is an incredulous look, and my head notches back as I watch him measure out ingredients with scientific precision. Did he read a few medical research studies while I was asleep?
“Seriously?” I say, amused, wondering how long it’ll take before our kitchen is covered in whatever greenish sludge that’s currently about to go for another spin.
“Yes, seriously,” he grumbles. He goes on to spout some random facts about brain development.
That still doesn’t really explain the pancakes and after some cranky back and forth, I get to the bottom of the issue. He is trying to perfect some Lily friendly recipes and that led him to researching recipes and those recipes led to brain development and here we are. The place where Oren is currently struggling with breakfast foods and it really seems to be getting him down.
He looks up at me with a scowl. “Just because I can cook adult food does not mean that I am natural at this.”
I lean down so that my forearms are pressed into the countertop, unable to keep the smile off my face. “You’ll get the hang of it. I think?”
Oren laughs at how my statement is very questioning, which was ultimately my goal. To lighten the mood. He drops his spatula, reaching for the blender again. “Once I’ve figured out how to stop burning them, I’ll have the perfect pancake and then it will be game over on all the other pancakes.”
I glance at the pile of overly charred pancakes beside him and raise an eyebrow. “Don’t get too cocky. It still looks like you’re a long way away from a pancake that isn’t burnt.”
He shrugs, suddenly unbothered, which means my plan worked like a charm. “Maybe they taste better this way,” he says, his voice teasing.
He puts the lid back on the blender and presses the button. The blender roars to life, splattering a bit of green sludge all over everything the light touches.
“Next time, make sure the lid is on all the way,” I say, laughing as I step over to help wipe up the mess.
Despite the grumbles, It’s nice seeing him like this, up and moving around freely, no longer chained to crutches. It’s only been a few weeks since his surgery, and appearances indicate that he’s healing well. His limp is still noticeable, but he’s not letting it stop him in any way. He’s doing everything he can to help out. But it does make me wonder why he is trying so hard. Is he trying to earn his time here? Is he worried about not being helpful enough or that if he isn’t helpful, I won’t want him around? Each of those lines of thought makes me sad.
“You know you don’t have to work yourself to the bone or do stuff around here to stay here or anything like that, right?” I ask him sincerely, needing to know the answer for my own sanity.
Oren glances at me, and a flash of vulnerability crosses his face as he pours the smoothie into a sippy cup for Lily. His eyes catch mine with a hesitant intensity like he’s kinda scared, too. “I–” His voice drops, becoming more serious. “I don’t want to do anything wrong.”
I pause for a second, truly comprehending what he is saying. He’s not just talking about breakfast. He’s talking about us, about Lily, about this new version of life we’ve fallen into. He’s trying so hard to show how dependable he can be, the father he has become, and maybe even the partner he wants to be.
“Really?” I ask softly, placing a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to be perfect.”
He exhales, the stress that had built in his shoulders and chest evaporating in front of my eyes. Not entirely. “I know, but... I don’t want you to regret letting me stay here. I don’t want you to think I can’t handle the responsibility of being with you.”
I shake my head, his concern breaking my heart. “I will never regret letting you stay here. It’s important to all of us. And no one handles responsibilities perfectly, I know I don’t. We are and will continue figuring it out together.”
He leans in and kisses my forehead, a simple gesture that instantly makes me feel better. “Thanks, Rachel.”
Lily squeals, interrupting our intimate moment, both of us turning to her. She reaches for the sippy cup and babbles something incoherent.
Oren laughs, handing her the cup. “Alright, alright, brain-boosting smoothie, coming right up.”
I watch as he bends over, his large hands gently help hers hold the cup steady. She takes a sip, her face immediately scrunching up in the most dramatic way before she spits it right back out and it dribbles down her chin. I don’t even try to contain my laughter as Oren wipes her face, shaking his head with a mock sigh.
“You wound me, Lily Goose,” he says, chuckling.
But the real show begins when he takes a sip, pausing for a second to absorb the taste himself. His eyes widen, and without a word, he spins around to the sink, spits it out, and pours the rest straight down the drain.
"That is foul," he groans, and I double over laughing. Apparently, brain development smoothies aren’t his thing, either.
A few days later, after his morning physical therapy, Oren walks in, demanding my attention, “I’m taking you both out on a date.”
I look up from where I’m sitting with Lily, smirking at him in a challenge. “A date, huh? All three of us?”
“Yep, it’s a day date for all of us,” he confirms, grinning back at me. "But first, take some time to do whatever you want. I’ll get Lily ready, and you can take your time pampering yourself."
I raise an eyebrow, slightly suspicious. “What are you up to?”
He chuckles, waving off my question. “Go on, get! We will be waiting in here when you are done.”
I roll my eyes, laughing softly. “Alright. Fine.”
With that, I enjoy a long, luxurious shower. Something I haven’t done since probably that first morning that Oren showed up here unannounced. Before we really knew each other, before the injury, before everything changed. I let the heat of the water loosen the leftover tension in my muscles. After I’m done, I wrap up in my robe and go all out, adding the product necessary to bring out the best curl from my naturally wavy hair. I moisturize everything, and even do my makeup. It feels good to take time for myself. There’s a beautiful difference between an ‘everything’ shower and really pampering yourself. And he said take as much time as I wanted.
When I emerge, an hour and a half later, wearing a cute white sundress that flows around my knees, Oren’s chasing Lily as she crawls around the living room, both dressed and ready to go. Lily looks ridiculously adorable. Oren clearly put some thought into this. I smile, impressed. Noticing my presence, he scoops Lily up and comes to stand in front of me.
“You look amazing,” he says, his voice heavy, full of appreciation as he looks at me. “Ready for our date?”
“I think so,” I reply, grinning.
The first stop is one of my favorite coffee shops by the river. It’s such a relaxing place to go to, but I never have time to do it. We sit outside, enjoying the sun while sipping on our iced lattes and nibbling on pastries. Oren’s attention is fully on the two of us, and it’s a wonderful feeling.
Lily’s extra wiggly, her chubby legs kicking in excitement. I smile as she pulls herself up, using my arm as support. She’s been crawling for a while but recently started getting braver, standing up more, holding onto things for balance. Oren reaches over, his fingers brushing lightly over Lily’s dark curls as she giggles.
Lily lets go of my arm, taking a timid step. She has a determined look on her face. My breath catches in my throat, watching her take another shaky step toward Oren, her feet wobbling beneath her, and then another one.
“Oren!” I gasp, my hand flying to cover my mouth, my eyes getting watery as I watch her. “She’s walking!”
Oren’s eyes widen in disbelief before transitioning to light up with the purest joy I’ve ever seen. “That’s my girl! Come to Dad, Lily Goose!”
We both watch in awe as Lily closes the gap between Oren and me, her face full of concentration. I feel a rush of emotions, pride, excitement, and a deep warmth that words don’t quite describe. It’s one of those moments that makes everything feel so right.
Oren reaches over for my hand, giving it a squeeze. “That was perfect,” he says softly, his voice filled with pride.
I nod, my eyes still on Lily as she claps for herself, clearly pleased with her new accomplishment. “Yeah, it really was.”
We sit there for a while, just soaking it all in while we finish our coffee. We talk, laugh, and take turns feeding Lily little bites of croissant. After coffee, Oren heads to the ultimate of all date destinations—Target. We stroll aimlessly through the aisles, grabbing what catches our eye. He insists on buying a ridiculous amount of clothes for Lily, each outfit somehow cuter than the last. He doesn’t even look at the price tags, tossing things in the cart without a second thought.
“You’re spoiling her,” I say, watching him throw another set of pajamas into the buggy. “She’ll have grown out of half of this before she even has a chance to wear it.”
“She deserves it,” he replies, smiling over at me. “And so do you. And that’s why I’ve been progressively getting bigger sizes when you weren’t looking.”
After checking out at Target, we have bags full of baby clothes, toys, books, snacks, and even a new blanket for the couch that Oren insisted we needed. But it’s not just about the stuff that made this so perfect. It’s the simplicity of doing something so mundane, and it still feels like an actual date.
Our last stop is my favorite sushi restaurant. We split a few rolls and order some Lily-friendly things. I watch as Oren double checks each item, making sure that it's safe before carefully giving her tiny bites, letting her try new things within reason. She giggles with each bite, her face lighting up in delight. At least, until we got her to try the ginger, definitely not a fan favorite.
It’s perfect. The food, the night, the company, how Oren looks at me like I’m the only person in the world. I feel so full, and not just from the food, but from the way he makes me feel cared for, important.
On our way back home, Lily falls asleep in the car, and while Oren puts her to bed, I change into something else. Feeling more inspired than I have in a while, I rummage through my lingerie drawer, pulling out a set that hasn’t gotten any use since Lily. Now is as close to the right moment as any other. I slip it on and stand in front of the mirror, seeing how it looks. For a second, the nerves and insecurities take over. I start to feel uncomfortable in my body, nervous about dressing up for him like this. I push that small nagging feeling out of my head because I love my curves, and so does he. I let the excitement build inside me. This seduction is about showing Oren how much I want him, how much I need him.
He’s in the living room when I walk out, and the moment his eyes land on me, his demeanor shifts. There’s a hunger in his eyes, need coloring his features, the same need that I feel for him. Oren stands and crosses the room in three swift steps, pulling me to him. I meet him in the middle, pressing my mouth to his, licking his lips, and encouraging him to let me in.
We lose ourselves in the kiss before he pulls me to the bedroom and tells me to lay down on the bed. He doesn’t lift his gaze from roaming over my lingerie while he slips off his clothes and climbs over me. He hovers the length of his lean body over mine, extra careful of his knee, before he settles his hips between my thighs, his erection teasing me. He moves slowly, deliberate with his touch, moving over every inch of my body with the kind of affection that causes goosebumps to spread. He presses his lips against my skin, moving lower and lower until I can’t think straight. His tongue moves over the fabric of the lace covering me. The gentle pressure makes me push my hips further into his touch, wanting more.
Oren's eyes darken as he trails back over me, a slow, deliberate look that sends lust coursing through me, sending me into overdrive. The feeling of the soft fabric against my skin is the flint but it’s the heat in his eyes on me that lights me on fire. He grazes my shoulder, moving with such care, slipping one strap down, then the other, his touch featherlight.
His lips follow immediately after, pressing gentle kisses along the curve of my shoulder where each strap used to be. He trails his tongue down my collarbone in a way that makes me melt. It’s slow—achingly slow. Each touch, each kiss, feels like a promise of pleasure waiting to be fulfilled. He knows exactly where his attention should go, kissing every spot I love the most, the places that make my breath stutter.
He doesn’t rush, taking his time as he moves lower, kissing the swell of my breasts, pulling each nipple into his mouth, the fabric slipping away as he moves down my waist, over the curve of my hips. A soft sigh escapes my lips at the tenderness of his touch. He’s enjoying this—taking his time with me, drawing it out. Slowly, he adjusts so he can rub his thick erection through my wetness, teasing me. He presses his lips to the side of my neck, and the warmth of his breath against my skin only highlights his touch. The sinful feeling of him pressing the tip of his erection into me slowly, sends a quake of need through me.
I’m literally aching for more, my body reacting to every touch, but he moves with such slow precision, never pressing very deep, teasing, with feathery touches over my clit only, the tension twisting so tight, I might explode. When he finally thrust all the way inside of me, his hips pressed against mine, he sets a slow rhythm. I roll my hips to meet his with each thrust. Oren feels like pure strength, and warmth, the way he holds me close, like he’s never planning to let go. As much as I lose myself to the moment, I can still feel him holding back. The rough, demanding version of himself gone, leaving the soft, careful, almost too gentle Oren. I want more. I want him to let loose, to give me everything.
“Harder,” I cry out, my voice breathless. “More, Oren. Please.”
He shakes his head, lips brushing against mine. “Not tonight, Rachel. You deserve to be worshiped.”
His version of holding back still ends with three earth-shattering orgasms and his cum dripping out of me. I still can’t shake the feeling that a piece of him is missing. A piece of the Oren I knew before—the wild, untamed side of him that left me breathless in a completely different way. Maybe this is the Oren who’s learning to love differently, care differently. And that’s not a bad thing, but a big part of me craves the reckless, rough passion we had before everything changed.