22. Drowning
Drowning
Dynah - Flashback
He drags me by the hair down the hallway into my parents bathroom. They have a large tub hiding in the corner that my mother frequently uses on the weekends.
It’s freezing cold already, and I am not prepared to be thrown into the frigid water of the bath. His hands are lukewarm on my skin, and I would be grateful if it weren’t for the circumstances.
“Why are you always so ungrateful for the things I provide you? I’ve given you a roof over your head, food and water in your body, and I even give you outfits to wear! Why won’t you get out of bed and take care of yourself, Dynah? Now I’m forced to give you a wash in the tub?” He screams at me, dragging me towards the bathtub.
It’s already filled to the brim with grimy water and I have no idea how long it’s been full.
“I’m sorry, Daddy! I’m so sorry! Please don’t do this!” I cry. My face is swollen with tears, my skin covered in bruises and cuts, and my insides have officially curled in on themselves.
I showered yesterday, but I guess it wasn’t good enough for him.
He keeps holding my hair and forces me to my knees. My chest hits the edge of the tub, knocking the air from my lungs. I try to push myself away, but I’m too weak compared to the man who raises me.
He forces my body to lean over the edge and plummets my head into the cold water.
My lungs still have yet to catch up, leaving me breathless and struggling to take in some air. When they finally do, I inhale a gulp of water because I can’t do anything else. Father keeps me under as long as possible, my body struggling not to drown.
He pulls me up and I suck in a breath before coughing the inhaled water up and out of my mouth. Saliva and water pour from my lips, dripping onto the hardwood floor beneath us.
“You ungrateful girl,” he condescends.
Without warning, he dips my head below again, drowning me in the bathtub of water. My hands scramble, trying to grab ahold of the edge to pull myself up, but I am so frazzled I can’t grasp it. I try to kick, but because I’m on my knees it's useless.
I can hear him screaming at me and shaking my head, but I can’t concentrate on anything other than holding the breath I was able to suck in.
He yanks me up again, out of the water and into my upside down world.
“Did you fucking hear me, Dynah? This is the last time! This is the last time I will allow this or you will face the consequences of your actions!”
He eventually gets tired of holding my body still, so he picks me up and dumps me into the now half-empty body of water. Father gets on top of me, places his hands on my chest, and pushes down. Once again I am submerged, but this time I can see his furious face when I open my eyes.
I never thought my life would come to this. I never thought this was how I would die. At least not by his hands.
My own? Sure. I have my knife that sits under my mattress, and I wish… I just wish I could have it now. I wouldn’t be able to do much, but sinking the knife into his neck seems awfully nice right about now.
My lungs seize between the pressure he creates and the lack of oxygen. It burns more than any fire I’ve ever touched. The pain, making the alarm bells in my head blare uncontrollably.
When he lets up, I try to reach the edge, hoping to pull my head out of the water– but he slams his hands down on mine, crumbling my grip and causing me to cry out.
“I hate you! I wish I never had to deal with you in the first place! I wish–” he stops talking and pushes me back under. I can’t hear the words he has to say as my body starts to fail.
I know I won’t be able to hold on much longer as the tunnels begin to force themselves into my vision.
My eyes roll back and my lungs give up. I suck in water just as my entire world turns pitch black as I drown in silence.