33. Cramps
Cramps
Dynah
I pry my eyes open and turn away from Elliot, checking the time on the alarm clock next to the bed. It reads 3am, and I try not to groan aloud. Why am I always waking up during the witching hour? I feel like I’m cursed or something.
I have fucking cramps. Throwing the covers off of me gently, I slip out of bed and into the bathroom. I don’t want to wake him up for this.
It’s been years since my last period. Malnutrition will fuck your body up more than you know. The cramps are intense, like a tidal wave of pain washing over me. I strip off my clothes, noticing that I got blood on the pants.
Dammit.
I turn on the shower as hot as I can stand it without burning my skin. This isn’t like last time. I’m not trying to harm myself, I’m trying to relieve the pain not cause it. It’s weird how your life acts like a mirror, always reflecting the past, yet simultaneously changing the future.
Pulling my knees to my chest, I rock back and forth, trying not to cry.
I’ve experienced plenty of pain before, but this is different. Usually I dance in the pain, revel in it, hide behind it, and force it to go away. I can’t do that this time, this pain comes within my body instead of the recesses of my subconscious. My uterus is trying to purge itself, clawing my insides, and ruining my mood.
“Dynah? We aren’t doing this again are we?” Elliot walks in and asks. He crosses his arms and leans against the sink.
“No,” I cry. “I– um… I’m fine.”
“No you aren’t. Why are you crying?” He opens the shower door and squats down so he is face to face with me. “What's wrong?” His eyes trail my body, inspecting me and making sure I’m okay. When his eyes look towards my thighs, the realization crosses his face. “Oh.”
“I’m fine! Just… Just get out,” I whimper, still rocking back and forth.
“I’ll be right back. I’m not leaving because you told me too, but I’ll be back.”
“Whatever, just go!” I raise my voice in pain, still crying.
-
He leaves for what feels like eternity, letting my body adjust to the heat and helping the cramps lay off just enough for me to feel human again. When he comes back in, he’s holding a grocery bag full of stuff.
“Get out, Darling. I have what you need,” he says sweetly .
I get up, not because I want to, but my hands are turning into prunes anyway, plus I'm intrigued by what’s in the bag. Turning off the water, Elliot hands me the towel and steps back, letting me dry off.
“Now… I wasn’t sure what to buy you because I don’t know what you need, so I bought you a cup and some period underwear. I would have bought you tampons or pads, but I know those have chemicals in them, and I don’t want your cramps worse. There’s also some chocolate, some salty snacks, and some other random shit,” he tells me, backing out of the room.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper, new tears running down my cheeks. No one has ever taken care of me. This is so new! This is so… weird. How can this killer stalker fuck be so fucking sweet to me, that he ran to the store in the middle of the night and bought me a bunch of shit? Where did he even find a store this early? What the fuck?!
He closes the door and leaves me to go through the bag and get partially dressed. I chose the panties. I don’t know how heavy this period will be, and I don’t really know how to use the cup. If push comes to shove, at least I have a little extra protection.