Chapter 36 #2
“To answer your unasked question, Darcy, Devonshire wants to wed Lizzy. He came to me to negotiate a marriage contract. Apparently, that is how alliances are conducted at the highest level of society. However, I am new to this rarefied realm. In my experience, Devonshire must obtain Lizzy’s consent before he would consult me.
I told him so, and he looked perplexed. He left, and I do not know whether he has gone home to puzzle over my strange request, gone to see Lizzy, or simply departed without understanding a word I said.
He appears to be hard of hearing. For one so young, this is a serious affliction indeed. ”
“Devonshire is indeed losing his hearing. It was not so severe when I spoke with him about the impersonation prank. He is young and may be inattentive at times. In the main, however, he is a good man. I should inform you of his steadfast, unrequited love since childhood for his cousin, Lady Caroline Lamb. The fact that he is pursuing Lady Elizabeth may mean he has given up his infatuation.”
“Perhaps the torrid, or more appropriately, horrid, affair between Lady Caroline and Lord Byron woke him up? Lord Byron is a genius of his generation. William Lamb is rising fast in politics. It has taken only a few sessions in Parliament for me to see that. Why would Lady Caroline throw all caution to the wind and risk her reputation to choose the literary genius over her own husband, a potential prime minister? I do not understand how this level of society operates, especially when geniuses of various sorts are involved.”
Both men contemplated the incomprehensible morality of the nobility. Finally, Mr. Darcy asked hesitantly, “Sir, is it too much to ask for a private conference with Lady Elizabeth? This may be our last one for a long time.”
“Or it may not. Be optimistic, Darcy! Yes, you may go seek out Jenny and ask for Lizzy. I understand you have done it before. While there, wish Jenny joy. It will be difficult for Lizzy to let Jenny go. I hope Pemberley has a good supply of competent, literate warrior abigails.”
Mr. Darcy was temporarily cheered. He was by nature not a pessimistic person, but this business of wishing his cousin dead so he could enjoy a bright future for himself and Elizabeth was despicable. He would not, and could not, wish it.
Darcy was at the conservatory for only a few minutes when Elizabeth walked over. Her face showed some apprehension.
“Hello. Fitzwilliam. I had no notion you would be here today. You look worried.”
Perhaps the apprehension stemmed from my unexpected appearance?
“Forgive me, Eli… Lady Elizabeth. After today… perhaps by next week, I may not have the privilege of calling you by your Christian name any longer.”
Elizabeth took a few steps forward to take his hands. Mr. Darcy was gladdened by her touch.
“You must tell me everything. What happened?”
“Before I came, Anne demanded to consummate the marriage. I told her I must ascertain from the doctors that she was indeed recovered, and not just going through the final stage of consumption. Some patients experience a surge of energy and become more active than they had been even before contracting the illness. For Anne, being more active means she is now almost exactly like her mother.”
Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. “She seemed so weak and timid not two months ago. Poor you! Poor, poor you! You still need to explain why you feel you must stop calling me by my Christian name. Would you prefer ‘Lizzy?’” she asked playfully.
Her ability to inject levity into a grim situation reminded him of why he loved her so.
He could not help relaxing his grim pose and smiled.
Her optimistic outlook would be a boost to any man who was lucky enough to be her chosen life partner.
It would sadly not be him, even though he needed her more than ever.
“Elizabeth, dear heart, I cannot in good conscience make you wait until we can be together, which could be twenty, even thirty years from now. I understand Devonshire fully intends to ask for your hand. He is a good sort of man. Your son would be the seventh Duke. I must let you out of any promise you made me.”
“I see.” Elizabeth walked away to look out into the garden, which was bright with spring flowers. The vibrant colors outside jarred with the dark mood in the conservatory.
“If I could not bear children, would you change your mind about marrying me?”
“Of course not. Loving you is enough for me. I need nothing else.”
“Then why do I need to be the mother of a future duke? By choosing this path, I would lose my chance of ever being with you. The Duke of Devonshire is very young, scarcely older than I am. If I married him, I might be bound to him for forty, perhaps fifty years. What would happen when you were free, and you chose another because I was unavailable to you? After all, the woman you married has been weak practically all her life.”
“What are you saying? You will wait for me for as long as it takes?”
“What other options do I have? Besides, it is too late.”
“Too late?”
“I refused the Duke’s offer of marriage this morning.”
“For me?”
“Who else? Is there another man whom I love without reason and to the depths of my soul, even if he is sometimes boneheaded and suggests I should marry someone to become mother to a future duke?”
“Oh, Elizabeth, my love! Forgive me!”
“I do not love you for the sake of marrying you. When I first loved you, you were already married. I just love you, for you, for your goodness, honor, selflessness, good humor, and only a little for your handsome face and figure, too. Who could blame me?” Elizabeth gave her love a rather saucy once-over, making Mr. Darcy laugh, and he pecked his precious love on the top of her head while grabbing her shoulders.
Elizabeth closed her eyes during this intimate moment and then opened them slowly and continued.
“Did you notice I did not mention Pemberley? I do not love you because of Pemberley either. I would love to see it someday, of course, as your friend or your wife. It matters not. It is important to you, and to Jenny, too.”
Mr. Darcy’s countenance burst into a face-splitting smile. Elizabeth had, more than once, unambiguously accepted his hand in marriage.
“You shall be my wife as soon as I am free, no matter how long we wait for that moment. I shall not care what people say if you agree to a short mourning. While it is not your goal to marry me, it is mine. I love you dearly and want to marry you. My sweet, sweet love, you have taught me a profound lesson—love of a worthy woman transcends boundaries set by convention, obligations, and any other external consideration. With you by my side, we shall conquer all.”
He pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her. To both of them, this could be their last and only chance to kiss as lovers. It could also mean goodbye.