Dutch (BLP Motorcycle Clubs #4)

9. Makari

I was left pacing the floor when the men entered Dutch's office. I was sick of Dutch and his damned mixed signals. One minute, he was shutting me out, and the next, he was being all protective.

Why wouldn't he tell me who was on that video? I couldn't take it anymore. It was eating me alive. I stormed down the hallway and busted into Dutch's office without knocking. They were hunched over his desk, and suddenly, all eyes were on me. There was something there… concern? Fear? I didn't know, but there was a calm I couldn't explain.

"Give us a minute," Dutch ordered. The members filed out of his office while I stood there with my arms crossed.

Dutch slowly stood. His frame rose like a predator, ready to meet a challenge. "Makari." My name rolled off his tongue like a warning, except I was done with half-truths and warnings.

"Don't Makari me. I need answers."

Dutch appeared to struggle as the lines in his forehead creased. I wanted to back down, but a part of me that was running on adrenaline pushed forward.

"What's got everyone so spooked? What was on that video?" I demanded.

Dutch's eyes narrowed, and for a moment, I believed he was going to shut me out. "It's not that easy," he stated in a low voice.

"Then make it easy because I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what I need to know."

There was a war going on behind his eyes, and the air between us was thick enough to choke me. Dutch's eyes were filled with desire versus duty and protection.

"Do you think you can handle everything?" His tone dripped with sarcasm, but it was also laced with concern. "Because there is no going back once you see it."

With my patience wearing thin, I rolled my eyes. "Try me. I've seen worse shit before most people have had their morning bowl of cereal."

Dutch's mouth twitched in a half smile. "One day, that mouth is going to get you in trouble."

I wasn't backing down. "Today might be that day."

Frustration sat on his face. "The video, it ain't pretty."

"Of course, I figured as much."

"There has to be a reason Jahlil wants you involved, and I'm not convinced it's your charming personality."

"I'm confused. Am I in the video or something?" I scoffed.

Dutch's expression was deafening, telling me what I needed to know.

"Shit, I'm in it?" I questioned again as my legs weakened.

Dutch shook his head. "I'm trying to keep Jahlil from getting his hands on you."

"I'm already knee-deep in this shit. Like it or not, Jahlil already has hands on me!"

We glared at each other. This time, I thought Dutch was going to yell at me.

Instead, he backed down. "I know." His admission hung between us.

We glared each other down. Neither of us wanted to look away first. I could see past his rough exterior, and before my brain could catch up, my body was moving. Dutch closed the distance between us, and our lips crashed against each other, full of separation and fire. Dutch's arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him so close his stubble tickled my face as our kiss deepened, and I melted into him with every nerve ending in my body firing signals.

God, I'd missed him.

As our tongues tangled through pent-up frustration, Dutch’s hands roamed my back, and I couldn't think. Still, a voice asking me what the hell I was doing nagged in my mind, especially a man who would keep secrets.

I broke away, needing air. Dutch licked his swollen lips, and I wanted to pick up where we left off.

"Makari," Dutch murmured, his voice spent.

My name, that one word, snapped me back to reality. "Too much at stake… we can't." I was weak, and I hated how I sounded.

Dutch nodded. "We can't ignore this."

"Jahlil's out there. We have to stay focused on staying alive." I reminded him coldly. For now, the unspoken would have to hang between us.

The burner phone rang just as Dutch opened his mouth. He snatched it off his desk.

"Talk." He barked into the cell. His expression shifted in an instant.

My stomach knotted as he spoke, and I watched Dutch's face darken.

"Let's do it," Dutch answered before he ended the call.

"What? Don't just leave me wondering," I demanded.

"Jahlil wants to negotiate."

I pressed because we already knew that much. "And?"

"Jahlil will only negotiate if you're there." Dutch's words hit me like a bomb.

"Shit." Though I'd just seen him a few days ago, all I could focus on was how Jahlil, a childhood friend turned enemy, had my mind spinning.

"You don't have to," Dutch stated, but we knew that wasn't the truth.

"Yeah, I do, unless we want this to blow up in our faces." I bitterly laughed.

"I got you. I'll?—"

I cut him off. "I'd rather you not make promises."

I turned away from him, my instincts telling me to get away from this place, maybe even leave the country. Still, I couldn't bail on Dutch and the crew. "When?" I asked, turning back around.

"Tonight, we don't have much time."

I was already mentally preparing myself. "We'd better tell the others."

We exited his office, and he briefed his crew on the meeting details.

"Are you all right?" Dutch asked.

"Yeah, nothing like a deadly reunion, right?"

Dutch didn't laugh this time. "We got your back."

"I know." I swallowed hard, fighting back emotion.

A commotion made me look up. Cash, a newer recruit, was clutching his bloody arm.

"What happened?" I asked on high alert.

Cash grimaced. "It's nothing. While prepping, I caught it on a rusty nail."

"Sit your ass down. Tetanus won't be a walk in the park if it gets infected," I said, rolling my eyes.

I grabbed the first aid kit I peeped the other day and ignored the glares from the other members. I cleaned Cash's wound, and my muscle memory kicked in as I remembered patching up Malakai after countless fights.

"You're good at this," Cash noted, seeming surprised.

I shrugged. "I grew up around MCs. Either you watch people bleed out or learn to patch them up."

The room was silent at my words, and I knew Dutch was watching me, but I stayed focused on Cash's injury.

"I secured the bandage. "There, be careful," I instructed.

"Yes, ma'am." Cash smiled and flexed his arm.

I closed up the kit, and the room was back to business.

"Oh, she has skills," I heard someone say.

"We need to put her on the payroll," another person chimed in.

I couldn't deny the flicker of warmth in my chest. I felt happy to be accepted.

Dutch cleared his throat. "Okay, people. Jahlil's crew should be here in thirty minutes, and I want everyone ready."

The club was busy as positions were assigned and weapons checked. My stomach churned as I watched everything unfold. This had been my brother's best friend. This was Jahlil, now just a man who betrayed me.

"Just when I thought my biggest drama would be what color ink to use in my tattoos."

Dutch smiled. "Life can be like that sometimes."

Everyone moved with purpose as the minutes ticked by. I closed my eyes and tried to remember Jahlil as the boy who taught me how to ride a bike and not my enemy.

How did we get here?

Motorcycles approaching had me opening my eyes. Dutch was across the room. There was no turning back. This was it. I blew out air, knowing nothing would ever be the same after today.

The engines grew closer and louder.

"Shit, they're early," Saint barked.

"Makari, you don't ha?—"

"I got this," I snapped.

The Sons of Shadows' hands hovered over their weapons as the door swung open. I forced myself to breathe. The Red Scorpions filed in with their dangerous swagger, and then Jahlil.

I was back on my mom's porch for a moment, cracking jokes with him and Malakai. His eyes were the same but harder somehow. Our glares locked, and there was recognition, of course, followed by something else that I wished was regret, but maybe it was just anger.

"Makari, imagine meeting you here," he asserted, his voice controlled and smooth as silk.

"Betrayal has a way of putting time and distance between folks." I dug my nails into my palms.

Jahlil flinched slightly, but not enough for my liking. I wanted to see the boy I knew, but I realized he was buried beneath the man he was now and would never return to what he was. We were on opposite sides now, and I wasn't sure either of us could build a bridge to the other side.