Duty Bound (Blackthorn Security Book 1)

Chapter 6

With the cold night air on their faces, they crouched low and raced across the rocky terrain toward the green zone—an area of dense vegetation alongside a river in a valley such as this one—roughly five hundred yards below.

Despite it being spring, the temperature had dropped close to zero overnight, and their breaths misted in front of them. Particularly Lily’s, which was how Blade noticed she was breathing harder than normal.

“When did you last eat or drink anything?” he asked.

“Not for a while.” They reached the trees. She stopped, doubling over to catch her breath.

Another complication he hadn’t accounted for. She was fading fast, her blood sugar dangerously low due to dehydration and lack of food. “Let’s rest here. We should be okay for a moment.”

Lily wobbled, possibly due to lightheadedness.

He looped his arm around her. “You alright?”

“I just need to close my eyes for one second.” She leaned backwards against a tree.

“No, don’t close your eyes. Lily. Lily!”

Her legs buckled, then she sank to the ground.

Blade crouched beside her, studied her face. She was barely conscious.

Damn it. He didn’t want to stop for long, but she needed sustenance. A quick glance around told him they were alone, and he hadn’t spotted anyone on the trail down the mountain. The cave collapse would take most of the night to clear, and until then, the kidnappers would assume they were trapped inside.

But once they were in, it wouldn’t take long to realize they’d escaped. By then it would be morning. Daylight. A dangerous time to be on the move, but beneficial for their pursuers. They’d follow the tunnel, then start scouring the hilltops, eventually tracking them into the valley, which was the only logical escape route.

He detached his water flask from his utility belt and pulled a squishy energy bar from his pocket. “Here. Drink.”

She was so weak, it seemed an effort to open her eyes. He held the flask to her lips and watched while she drank—first a tentative sip, then thirsty gulps.

“Easy,” he cautioned. “Don’t choke.”

After she’d drunk half the bottle, he handed her the energy bar. “Eat this.”

She tore it open, took a greedy bite, then moaned and closed her eyes as she savored the pleasure.

He couldn’t tear his attention from her mouth. His hunger was far different from hers, and completely inappropriate given her relationship with Spade and their current predicament. Finally, he managed to banish the impure thoughts from his mind. Thank goodness it was too dark for her to notice his intense gaze. “Better?”

“Much.”

She sounded stronger. That was a good sign. Maybe they could make some progress now. They’d need to put as much distance as possible between them and the Taliban, and she’d need all the energy she could muster.

Lily crinkled the wrapper and looked around, unsure of where to put it.

He held out a hand. “Any trash we leave behind will let them know we were here and which way we went.”

She handed him the trash, her soft fingers lingering a second too long for his comfort. “I remember you now. You’re the team leader of Joe’s unit. I saw you together a couple of times in the early days.” Before she’d wrapped Joe around her little finger, and he’d stopped hanging out with the guys in his unit.

Blade wondered if they were thinking the same thing—they hadn’t taken to each other when they’d first met. He’d thought Lily, or Lilian as she was known back then, too stuck up for her own good. Definitely too smart to mix with the likes of them. She used to dismiss him with a flat glance on the rare occasions that they’d crossed paths.

“Was the leader. I left the army after...” He shrugged.

“After Joe died?” Her clear, brown-eyed gaze lingered on his face, almost as if she was trying to figure him out.

Good thing she couldn’t read minds. She’d be horrified to know what he’d been thinking—about her then and now. Lord knew he wasn’t proud of either thought, but his body seemed to have developed a mind of its own where she was concerned.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

She glanced down at the damp ground. “I heard he wasn’t the only one who lost his life that day.”

Blade swallowed over the massive lump in his throat. “I was the only one who made it home.”

After a few weeks had passed, he’d heard Stitch had taken refuge in a small Afghan village where he’d converted to Islam and integrated into the community. He hadn’t tried to make contact. If that’s what the former medical officer wanted, then who was Blade to tell him any different? They each had their own demons to live with.

“Will you tell me what happened? I know the official version from Pat, but I want to know what really happened.”

Oh, boy.

Her whisper made his heart race, though he wasn’t sure if it was the woman or the question she asked. Blade stared at the ground, wishing it would swallow him up, but he knew this wasn’t a conversation he could avoid. Coming here, facing her. It was inevitable it would come up. “The official version isn’t incorrect,” he began, willing his heart rate to return to normal. “Pat would have given it to you straight.”

She chuckled, the outburst softening her features. “That’s where you’re wrong. Pat tried to protect me, just like everybody else, but I don’t want the watered-down version. I want to know the cold, hard truth about how Joe died.”

Blade studied her as best he could in the dim light. Wide, brown eyes tilted up at the ends. Cute, button nose. Kissable, heart-shaped lips. Since he’d last seen her, she’d grown her ash blonde hair and lost the glasses—thick, black-rimmed things that did nothing for her looks. Without them, she was a knockout. Her huge eyes now held dozens of questions, and her lips pursed as she waited for answers.

How could he tell her what had happened? The details still kept him awake at night. She’d loved Spade. They’d been together forever. He didn’t want to ruin the image she had of him.

“Please. I need to know. No matter what.”

God, she was going to regret that. But he couldn’t tell her no. He took a deep breath. “We were on a goodwill mission. It wasn’t supposed to be dangerous, although every mission has the potential to blow up over here. One minute we were hiking over a mountain pass, the next we were walking straight into an ambush.”

Her eyes grew wide. “What happened?”

“Insurgents on both sides, as far as the eye could see. They opened fire. There was very little cover.” He glared up into the hills, the feeling of helplessness close to overwhelming. Anxiety made his chest pound, his body cold and clammy.

Lily watched him closely through the dark. The whites of her eyes and hardness of her gaze forced him to continue, even though guilt threatened to crush him.

“Our guide was a Taliban sympathizer and, unknown to us, had given away our location. I should have seen it coming but didn’t. He led us straight into that ambush.”

“Oh, God.” The words came through a whimper. She was probably picturing the situation, but not even the most vivid imagination could be as bad as the real thing.

Dust mixed with cordite… His men screaming… Blood on the barren path…

Blade shook his head to get rid of the visuals, but they kept coming. All he could do was narrate through the pain. “The mountain pass was surrounded by hills on either side. It was a perfect natural trap. We were completely exposed.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. It happened too fast. Spade took a bullet in the thigh and went down. I was ahead and turned around when he screamed. Blaster and Ricky had both been hit, too.” His voice broke. “There was nothing I could do to help them.”

Lily’s face was blank. He had no idea what she was thinking.

“Stitch provided cover fire while I went to help Spade, but he took another round in the chest. I couldn’t save him.” His voice turned into a groan, and he exhaled slowly through pursed lips. It still hurt so goddamn much.

His shrink said he should talk about it, but he wasn’t sure that helped. All that did was make him relive the nightmare again… and again. He preferred to keep the memory buried, like some bittersweet home movie stuffed into the bottom of a drawer, to be viewed and cried over only when extremely drunk.

“What about Stitch?”

He raised an eyebrow. She knew the names of Spade’s fallen colleagues, but not his? Maybe she would have remembered if he’d also died on the mountain pass like he should have.

“Stitch couldn’t cope with what happened. He went AWOL later that day. As far as I know, he’s still in the wind.”

“You were the only one who came home.” She made it sound like an accusation.

He didn’t blame her. For months he’d thought the same thing. How had he made it out in one piece? Had it been blind luck? Or was God tormenting him by making him live with the guilt for evermore? Was that his punishment?

“Yeah, I made it to a later rendezvous point and got on a chopper out of there.”

“What about their bodies?” Her voice cracked. Her eyes glimmered with tears.

The urge to put his arms around her and weep with her was strong, but he got the feeling she wouldn’t appreciate that. “They were retrieved later that day, when it was safe to return to the region.” When the Afghan army, assisted by an airstrike by 101st Airborne Division, had taken out as many of the Taliban fighters as they could. The rest had disappeared back into their tunnels to fight another day.

Lily cleared her throat. “You brought him home?”

Them. He’d brought them home.

Blade nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Then he’d buried them.

A thought struck him. “I don’t remember seeing you at the funeral.”

“I couldn’t do it.” Her voice was heavy with emotion. “I couldn’t go. I paid my respects privately.”

He packed the water back in his belt holder. “It’s none of my business. You don’t need to explain.”

They started walking again. Despite her exhaustion, she fell into step beside him. “A few days before… before he died, the Agency offered me a position in Kabul. I took it because I thought it was a way to be closer to Joe, and it was a chance to do something to help end the opium wars in Helmand Province.” A bitter laugh escaped her. “I was so naive.”

Blade didn’t reply. They all were, to a certain degree. Naive to think they could have made a difference.

“I know it’s not the same as being out there fighting, but it was better than sitting at home worrying.”

He could only imagine what that felt like. He’d much rather be in the warzone than at home worrying whether a loved one would come back alive. It was one of the reasons he’d stayed single. No accountability. No one to leave without a boyfriend or a husband. No kids to leave without a daddy.

“Besides,” Lily continued, “if the Afghan government could use it to restore peace in that region, I would have accomplished something.”

“Can’t argue with you there.”

She trudged along beside him, her words heavy as her footfalls. “After it happened, I decided to take the job anyway. It was… easier than being alone. I needed to get away from the memories. Everything at home reminded me of him.”

Blade could understand that. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, keeping an eye on the hillside. “It was my fault we got ambushed. I didn’t vet the guide thoroughly enough. It was my job as team leader to double-check all third parties, and I let them down.”

He felt her gaze on his face but kept walking. If he’d been more careful and had scrutinized Sayed more closely then maybe, just maybe, his friends would still be alive.

They walked some way in silence. Blade forced himself to focus on their immediate surroundings, not back in the past where his mind really wanted to go. It wasn’t good to wallow, his shrink had told him. Best to stay in the present.

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” she said, eventually. “You couldn’t have foreseen that ambush. Pat told me you’d relied on faulty intelligence. That’s not on you.”

He scowled into the darkness. Pat had divulged a lot more than was necessary, but then Lily was the type to demand details. The former SEAL probably hadn’t told her anything she didn’t already know.

“Thank you.” It was nice of her to say, not that he believed it.

“But I do blame you for making him sign up for the Green Berets to begin with.”

He thought he’d misheard. “Excuse me?”

“It was you who convinced him it was a good idea to sign up. I know it was.” She took an angry breath. “He was happy in the Ordnance Corps. He didn’t want to be a killer.”

Blade couldn’t deny it. That was exactly what they were. Glorified killers, trained to take out the enemy with extreme prejudice and capable of excessive force when necessary. And he was proud of it. But he hadn’t coerced his friend. That wasn’t true.

“Spade wanted to try out for the Green Berets,” he said slowly. “There was a selection process. We went through it together.”

“He joined the army to train as an engineer. You put the stupid idea of the Green Berets into his head.”

Every syllable pierced his heart.

“If it wasn’t for you, Joe would still be alive.”