Chapter Nine
Raven
S haking my head, I close my reading app and toss my tablet down. It’s too much.
I decided to do some “research” on all things BDSM, and what better place to start than some romance books. And, boy, oh boy, is there a lot of information in them.
These two men want to date me but I’m starting to think it’s not a good idea. I don’t think I could ever be what they need.
Jasper: Good morning, Pet. I have breakfast being delivered to your apartment in fifteen minutes. Eat it.
Jaxon: What my brother is trying to say is, we hope you slept well last night, sweetheart. I know it was a lot to take in, and I hope it didn’t scare you off. Please enjoy your breakfast.
Laughing, I type in my response.
Me: I’m not typically awake early enough to eat breakfast. Even when I don’t spend most of the night bartending. Also, I’ve been thinking about this whole relationship thing. I don’t think I can be what you guys need.
Call me a coward, but there is no way I would have been brave enough to say that to their faces. When my phone rings seconds later, I almost die on the spot.
Great.
“Hello?”
“And what is it you think we need, Pet?”
“Jasper,” I whisper, my heart pounding in my chest. “I... I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t upset me, baby,” his voice is calm and steady, but there’s an edge of curiosity in it that makes my stomach twist. “I’m just curious. What is it you think we need?”
I bite my lip, unsure how to answer. “I don’t know, exactly. But... it feels like this world, your world, is so much bigger than me. More than I can handle.”
There’s a pause, and then his voice softens.
“You’re overthinking,” he says, “We don’t need you to handle our world. We need you to be yourself. That’s it.”
“But—”
“No buts,” he interrupts firmly. “We’re not asking you to change, baby. We’re not asking you to be something you’re not. This isn’t about us molding you into what we need. It’s about us showing you that who you already are is more than enough.”
My breath hitches, and I feel tears prickling the corners of my eyes. “You say that now, but what if... what if I can’t give you what you’re looking for? What if I can’t be... enough?”
“You are enough,” he says without hesitation. “And we’ll spend as much time as it takes proving that to you.”
I don’t know what to say. My throat feels tight, my mind racing with doubts and fears.
“Sweetheart,” Jaxon’s voice cuts in, gentler than Jasper’s but no less insistent. “We’re not here to overwhelm you or rush you into anything. If you need time to figure this out, you’ve got it. No pressure. No expectations. Just us, being here for you.”
“How... how can you be so sure?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
“Because we see you, Raven,” Jasper says, his voice low and steady. “Even if you can’t see us. Hell, even if you can’t see yourself, we see you. And we know exactly what we want.”
“And that’s me?” I ask, my voice trembling.
“That’s you,” they answer in unison, their voices perfectly aligned.
For a moment, I’m silent, my mind too jumbled to form a coherent response. But then Jasper speaks again, his tone shifting into something lighter.
“Now, Pet, are you going to argue with me, or are you going to eat the damn breakfast I sent you?”
Despite myself, I laugh softly. “I don’t usually eat breakfast, but I’ll make an exception this time.”
“Good girl,” he says, his words sending an unexpected warmth through me.
“And, sweetheart,” Jaxon adds, his voice carrying a playful lilt. “Maybe next time, consider talking to us before deciding what we do or don’t need.”
“I’ll think about it,” I say, a small smile tugging at my lips.
“Good,” Jasper says, his tone firm but kind. “Now go eat. And we’ll talk later.”
“Okay,” I whisper, feeling oddly lighter as the call ends.
I stare at my phone for a moment, the lingering warmth of their words settling in my chest. Maybe... just maybe, I’m not as out of my depth as I thought.
***
Me: Uhm. I know it’s 1:00, and the club doesn’t open until much later. But I left my bag in your office, and it has my meds in it. Is there someone here that can get it for me?
The response is immediate.
Jaxon: Come on in, sweetheart. We had to come by early to let the cleaning crew in.
Sighing in relief, I walk through the doors and turn left toward the hallway leading to their office. A female voice from inside the room reaches my ears, and I pause.
“Please, Steel,” the woman says. “I promise it’ll be the last time. This week. Come on. You know you want to.”
“Fine,” someone says. The voice sounds familiar, so I’m assuming it’s Jasper responding. I don’t know why, but I just don’t like calling them Steel and Blaze. I like knowing Jasper and Jaxon are just mine. “But, only for an hour.”
“Yay. I’ll call and get you scheduled in for one as well.”
“I said I would come with you, sweetheart. Not partake in the activity.”
Sweetheart? Jaxon always calls me sweetheart, but Jasper never has. So, why is he using it for another woman? Ignoring the sting in my chest, I quietly open the door, only to watch as a woman rushes across the room and jumps into a man's arms.
“Too late,” the woman laughs as who I think is Jasper wraps his arms around her with a soft smile on his lips. “I already did it before I got here. You too, Blaze.”
“Hey, why do I keep getting roped into these outings with the two of you,” Jaxon says with a laugh.
“Because you two are inseparable,” the woman still in Jasper’s arms says. “And since Steel and I are best friends that means you and I can be as well. Can’t have one without the other, now can I. Oh, hello.”
All eyes turn to me, and I can feel my face flame.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, trying not to let my tears fall. I should have known that they weren’t serious about me. “I didn’t mean to barge in. I’ll just…go.”
“Raven,” someone calls as I turn and run down the hall. “Sweetheart, stop.”
I run, my heart pounding in my chest as hot tears blur my vision. Stupid. I’m so stupid.
I should’ve known better. Should’ve known that men like Jaxon and Jasper wouldn’t actually be interested in someone like me. Someone who can’t even recognize her own face, let alone theirs.
Their laughter, the warmth in their voices, the way they’ve made me feel safe and wanted. How could I have been so na?ve? And that woman, the way she jumped into his arms like she belonged there...
“Raven!” a voice echoes behind me, sharp and commanding, but I don’t stop. I can’t face him. I can’t face either of them.
Suddenly, a strong hand grabs my arm, halting my escape. I spin around, ready to pull free, but the sight of Jasper—no, Jaxon—standing there stops me cold. His green eyes bore into mine, calm but unyielding.
“Let go,” I say, my voice trembling, but I know I don’t sound nearly as strong as I want to.
“Not until you look at me,” he says, his tone steady, firm.
Reluctantly, I meet his gaze. My tears spill over, and I hate that he’s seeing me like this; messy, vulnerable, humiliated.
“Please,” I whisper.
“Not until you listen to me, Pet.”
Okay, Jasper, not Jaxon.
“I’m sorry I didn’t knock,” I say, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. “I didn’t mean to bother you guys.”
“You’ve got it all wrong, baby,” he says, wiping the tears from my eyes. “What you saw back there, it wasn’t what you think. Her name is Delphi. She’s our brother, Reynolds’ woman. She’s our family. Nothing romantic is happening between us.”
“Del and Steel got put into a pretty rough situation not very long ago that created a special bond between them,” Jaxon says from behind me. “Del likes to pull him, and by association, me, into her little schemes from time to time. I once caught them both sneaking into a karaoke bar wearing disguises because Del wanted to sing without anyone recognizing her.”
Jasper rolls his eyes at the memory. “She claimed it was ‘artistic expression.’ I think she just wanted to see if I’d actually wear the fake mustache and the blonde wig.”
The corner of my mouth twitches despite the tears still streaming down my face. “You wore a blond wig?”
“It was even longer than your hair,” he smiles. “Delphi is important to me, baby. She ropes us into her antic because she knows we’re both pushovers who can’t say no to her. But that’s all it is.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry. I know how that must have looked. Jacob is always telling me that I need to back off and let my best friend breathe.”
Turning towards the voice, I see a woman standing next to a man with her head lowered. Now, I’m not good at reading facial expressions, but I can read body language just fine.
“No, I’m sorry,” I say, stepping away from the two men crowding me and walking towards the couple.
The woman lifts her head, her brown eyes meeting mine with a mix of curiosity and wariness. The man beside her, who I assume is Reynolds, keeps his arm loosely around her waist, his expression calm but protective.
“You don’t need to apologize,” I say softly, my voice trembling slightly. “I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I let my insecurities get the better of me.”
Delphi steps forward, her posture easing. “It’s okay. Really. I get it. If I walked into that situation without context, I’d probably think the same thing. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for jumping on Steel like that. I tend to forget how things might look to someone else.”
I glance back at Jasper and Jaxon. They’re standing shoulder to shoulder now, both of them watching me closely, their expressions unreadable. Even standing side by side, I still can’t actually tell that they’re twins. Taking a deep breath, I turn back to Delphi.
“I don’t know what you went through,” I say quietly, “but it’s clear you mean a lot to them. And they mean a lot to you. I can respect that.”
Delphi smiles gently, the tension in her shoulders visibly easing. “Thank you for saying that. And for the record, I’m rooting for you. Those two? They’re a lot to handle, but they’re worth it.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I manage, the corner of my mouth lifting in a tentative smile.
Reynolds steps forward, his deep voice cutting in. “Freckles is right. These two idiots are lucky to have someone like you around. Don’t let them mess it up.”
“Hey!” Jaxon protests, though his voice is light, and there’s a grin tugging at his lips.
Reynolds shrugs. “Just calling it like I see it.”
Delphi chuckles and looks back at me. “I hope we can start over. I’d like to get to know you, Raven.”
“Me too,” I say softly, feeling a little of the weight lift from my chest.
Jasper steps closer, his hand brushing lightly against my arm. “You good, Pet?”
I glance up at him, at both of them and nod. “I think so.”
Jaxon grins, his voice warm and teasing. “Good. Because I’m not letting you run off like that again.”
A soft laugh escapes me, and I shake my head. “I’ll try not to.”
Jasper leans down, his voice low and steady. “No trying, baby. Just don’t.”
“I have the best idea that has ever been thought,” Delphi says excitedly.
“Oh, no,” Jasper sighs.
“Come with us,” she continues. “It will be a great way for us to spend time together. And I can tell you all about the rest of the family.”
“Never mind,” Jasper smiles. “I like this idea.”
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“To get mani-pedis,” Delphi smiles mischievously.
“You were going to get mani-pedis?” I tease at the man beside me.
“Yeah,” he sighs as he looks at his friend. “But I mean it, Delphi. One hour.”
“Yeah. Sure. One hour. Let’s go. So, Raven, did you know that these guys are also part of a motorcycle gang?”
“Club,” the three men say in unison behind us.
“We’ll meet you at your house,” she calls back. “We’re going to walk alone to get some girl time before we leave.”
“As if we’d let them walk these streets alone,” someone says.
Another lets out a low chuckle as Delphi pulls me toward the exit. I glance over my shoulder at the men. All three look torn between amusement and resignation.
“I’m not sure about this,” I say under my breath to Delphi, who practically radiates excitement.
“Trust me, you’ll love it,” she says, waving off my hesitation. “Besides, it’s not every day you get to drag big, bad bikers into a salon. It’s worth it just for the entertainment.”
I laugh despite myself. Her enthusiasm is infectious. “Wait, did you say they’re in a motorcycle... club?” I hesitate on the word, glancing back at the men again.
“Yep. The Obsidians,” she says. “I’ll tell you all about them, but first, we need to get to a car. That’s why we’re heading to Blaze and Steel’s house. We went there first and saw that their bikes and cars were still parked in the garage while they weren’t home. Which means they were here. We just walked over. It’s not far. Fifteen minutes at most.”
“They live together?” I ask quietly, not willing to understand why I needed to know.
“Of course,” she says. “They are so connected at the hip that it’s not often you see one without the other one being nearby. They complete each other in a way I’ve never seen before. It’s almost like they used to be one person who was split into two. It’s probably why they’ve always wanted to share one special person between them.”
“That’s intense,” I admit.
“For you,” she teases. “I’m not sure of your kink status, but you do realize that they’re both Dungeon Masters, right?”
“What does that mean?” I ask as she loops her arm with mine and walks us away from the club.
Delphi’s grin widens, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she guides me down the quiet street. “It means they’re the ones who oversee scenes at the club. They enforce rules, ensure everyone’s safety, and sometimes, they demonstrate. Or so I’ve heard. It’s not my scene, but I do make them tell me all about it. It’s not just a title; it’s a responsibility. And trust me, those two take it seriously.”
My stomach twists, a mix of intrigue and apprehension bubbling up inside me. “So, they’re, like, experts in this... lifestyle?”
“Exactly,” she says, giving my arm a little squeeze. “But don’t let that intimidate you. If they’re interested in you—and trust me, they are—it’s because they see something special in you. They’re not looking for someone who knows all the ins and outs. They’ll guide you if you’re willing.”
I bite my lip, my thoughts racing. The idea of being the focus of their attention, of learning from them, is both thrilling and terrifying. “I don’t even know if I fit into their world. I mean, I’ve read about it, but I don’t know...”
Delphi resumes our pace down the sidewalk. “Listen, Raven. You don’t have to have it all figured out. If you’re curious, they’ll be patient. And if you’re not interested at all, they’ll respect that, too. But don’t let fear make the decision for you. They’re good men, and they’ll give you the space to explore at your own pace.”
I nod, her words settling over me like a balm. “It’s just... a lot. They’re so... much. And I’m just... me.”
She laughs, the sound light and genuine. “Oh, honey, I haven’t known them for very long. But I do know that they don’t waste their time on people who aren’t worth it. If they’re pursuing you, it’s because they’ve already decided you’re more than enough. Now, come on. Let’s get you to their house so we can make our appointment. Trust me, there’s nothing like seeing three giant badasses trying to pretend they’re not scared of a little mani-pedi.”
I laugh, the tension in my chest easing just a little. I look back at the three men following us and can only guess which two are mine. They both have sly smirks on their faces that let me know they heard every word my new friend and I spoke.
Blaze
“Come on, Steel. It’s just a little polish. And it’s clear. Stop being a baby. Blaze is doing it.”
“That’s because Blaze enjoys this shit,” my brother grumps, which only causes Raven to laugh. “How come Reynolds get to sit out?”
“I sacrificed my spot for Raven,” Reynolds smiles happily from a chair in the waiting area.
“Sacrificed, my ass,” Steel mutters.
“Thank you, by the way,” my woman tells him.
“No, sweetheart. Thank you.”
“Just put the shit on my damn nails so we can leave,” Steel tells the worker.
“I’ve never seen you so aggravated,” Raven laughs.
Steel glowers at her, but I can clearly see that he’s teasing. He’s even teasing Del. He never planned to leave this place until his girl was overly happy with his torment. God, I love my brother’s heart. I just hope Raven can see through his act.
Steel leans back in the chair with an exaggerated sigh, holding his hands out to the nail technician like they’re being forced against his will. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
Delphi grins from her spot beside Raven. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Steel shoots her a look that would make most people run for cover, but Del doesn’t flinch. She just beams at him, clearly enjoying his torment. “I swear, Del, you’re the devil in disguise,” he mutters.
Raven can’t seem to stop laughing, her whole body shaking as she watches the scene unfold. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so angry over clear nail polish.”
Steel narrows his eyes at her, but there’s no real heat in his glare. “Careful, Pet. You’re skating on thin ice.”
“Oh no,” Raven gasps dramatically, her laughter bubbling over again. “Whatever will I do if you scowl at me some more?”
I grin at the exchange, loving the way she holds her own with him. “You know, Steel, you’re really setting an example for the rest of those tough guys. Sacrificing your manly image for the sake of these girls’ happiness. It’s inspiring, really.”
“Shut up, Blaze,” he grumbles, but there’s a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
The nail technician glances between us, her lips twitching as she tries to keep a straight face. “All done,” she announces, holding up Steel’s hand for inspection.
“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Del asks.
Steel glances at his nails, then at Del. “If this makes you happy, it was worth it,” he says, his voice soft.
I glance at Raven to make sure there isn’t any unwarranted jealousy, but she simply smiles at my brother.
Fucking perfect.
“Alright,” Del says, breaking the tension with a dramatic clap of her hands. “Who’s ready for round two? I hear they’ve got an opening for a couples’ massage.”
Steel groans, and I laugh as Raven’s cheeks flush. “Oh, I’m so not ready for that,” she stammers.
Steel stands, brushing off his jeans and throwing Del a glare. “You’re lucky I love you, Delphi Mae. No massage. I won’t have anyone rub down my woman. Even if it is another woman. Let’s go eat.”
I fall into step beside Steel as he shoves Reynolds and his card out of the way to pay for today’s festivities. Leaning close so only he can hear, I say, “Raven’s good for you, you know.”
He glances at me, his expression unreadable. “She’s good for us , Blaze. There is no me, and there is no you. ”
I nod, unable to disagree.
Without another word, I tap the right side of my chest twice, a silent gesture we’ve shared since we were kids. Steel mirrors the action by tapping his left, his gaze steady as it meets mine.
It’s something only the two of us understand. An unspoken reminder that we were never meant to be two. We were always meant to be three.
“Jasper, Jaxon.”
We look back at Raven only to see her looking around wide-eyed. She’s lost our faces again.
Steel walks back to Raven, his expression softening. “Right here, baby,” he says, his voice steady and reassuring. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. Next time, I’ll make sure you know exactly where I am.”
Raven’s shoulders relax slightly, but her laugh remains self-conscious. “It’s not your fault. This happens all the time. I just... I get turned around when I lose track of who’s who. It’s not exactly easy to explain.”
Delphi tilts her head, studying Raven. “Wait, is this the face blindness thing you mentioned earlier?”
Raven nods, her fingers twisting in her lap. “Yeah. I can’t really recognize people unless I connect them to something else. Like their voice, how they move, or what they’re wearing. When they stepped away, I just... lost them. Sorry”
Delphi’s brow furrows, and she reaches out to pat Raven’s hand. “Girl, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Honestly, that sounds tough.”
Steel crouches beside Raven, drawing her attention back to him. “Do you lose our voices, too?”
“Sometimes, but it doesn’t usually take my brain long to connect the voices to the names once I hear them talk long enough. I know you say you’re twins, but you guys don’t look or sound similar to me.”
I step closer, crossing my arms, as I add, “We’ll figure out a way to make this easier for you. Maybe we can wear something specific when we’re out. Hell, we could just wear bells.”
“You guys are something else,” she smiles. “Before we go eat, I really need to go back to the club and get my purse. I have anxiety meds that I haven’t taken since yesterday. You don’t want to see me out in public surrounded by people without those pills coursing through my body.”
“It’s on the way,” I say.
“We’ll meet you at the restaurant,” Reynolds says when we reach the club. “I want to swing by and check on the kids first.”
“Sounds good,” I say.
“Don’t forget, I want fries,” Del says, leaning into Reynolds as they head to their car. “And dessert. Lots of desserts.”
“You always want dessert,” Reynolds replies, his tone dry but affectionate.
I glance at Raven, noticing the way she’s trying to keep track of everyone’s movements and voices. It hits me again how much she’s had to adapt because of her face blindness.
“You good, sweetheart?” I ask, keeping my tone light.
She nods quickly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. Just trying to keep up with all of you. You’re like a pack of wolves.”
Steel chuckles, glancing over his shoulder at me. “Told you she’s got a fire in her.”
“She definitely does,” I agree, smirking. “Careful, Raven. You might end up leading this pack if you’re not careful.”
Raven laughs softly, shaking her head. “I think I’ll leave the leading to you two.”
Del spins around, walking backward as she grins at Raven. “Oh, don’t let these two fool you. They might look all big and tough, but they’re total pushovers once you figure out the right buttons to press.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Raven says, her smile growing as she relaxes a little more.
As we approach the club, I can already see Mitchell at the front door, leaning casually against the wall. He straightens when he spots us, his sharp gaze immediately scanning the group.
“Bosses,” he greets with a nod. “Miss Raven.”
Raven pauses for a second, clearly surprised that he recognized her. Steel leans down and murmurs, “We made sure all our staff knew who you were, Pet. You’re important to us.”
Her cheeks flush, but she doesn’t argue as we head inside.
“Blaze. Steel,” a woman greets.
“Why are you here, Rebecca?” Jasper asks.
“I forgot to log in the new member last night,” the woman laughs. “I made a note and shoved it in my pocket. I found it this morning when I went to do laundry. Figured I’d go ahead and get it done so I don’t forget again.”
“You could have called, and I would have done it for you,” Jaxon tells her. “There was no need to come all the way out here. But we appreciate it, nonetheless.”
“Hello, Raven,” the woman says. “I’m Becca, the check-in Domme. It’s good to meet you.”
“Uhm…hi. You, too.”
Domme, my ass. This woman has been working for us for about two years and has tried for a membership half a dozen times. She’s not Domme material. She’s too aggressive with her Subs. She had a three-week trial period that first time, and we’ve denied her since.
Mitchell gestures toward the hallway leading to our office, effectively dismissing Becca. “Your purse is where you left it, Miss Raven. Want me to grab it for you?”
“No, that’s okay,” she says, her voice steady. “I can get it.”
Steel nods toward Mitchell, his silent approval enough to let him know everything’s fine. I trail behind Raven as she walks into the office, her movements deliberate but not rushed.
When she picks up her purse and tucks it over her shoulder, she turns back to us with a small, grateful smile. “Okay. Crisis averted. Food now?”
Steel grins, something he seems to be doing a lot of lately. “Food now.”
As we head back outside, I glance at my brother, tapping my chest twice. He taps his in response, his expression saying everything we don’t need to voice. Raven’s ours, and together, we’ll make sure she knows it.