Chapter 9
Nevermore
Her hands slide up my neck, and the tips of her fingers stop at the edge of my mask.
My skin shudders beneath her touch, and the anticipation is almost more than I can handle.
I’ve been waiting for her to remember for what feels like a lifetime.
But the thing is, she doesn’t. She doesn’t know who is underneath the allure of the mask.
She hasn’t seen my face. She’s caught up in the moment, drunk on an illusion.
Don’t interrupt.
Let her live her life.
She’ll come back.
I hear the echoes of Star’s Grandma inside my head and have to remind myself that Star has come back. She’s back with her body pressed against mine, and her breath is on my neck. But it is not me that she’s decided to share this moment with. She wants a stranger, not a ghost from her past.
Panic blares within me while her fingers curl around the wolf's face.
She won’t understand.
She might run.
There are so many things that I need to say to her, but none of them seem right. I need to stop her before things go any further. If she sees my face and doesn’t remember, I don’t think I’ll survive what that will do to me. But I can’t do this with her, knowing what I know. It feels wrong.
I want her to know it’s me she’s touching. I’ve carried our love inside my heart for so long that if she rejects me this time, it’ll ruin me.
“Can I see your face?” Star timidly asks permission, and I freeze.
I swallow a hard lump down, trying to find the words to answer her.
My mind is still going back and forth with my decision.
I don’t know how to explain to her my reasons for not letting her remove my mask without scaring her.
I’ve had years to come to terms with the devastation, and some days, I can’t cope with everything.
I can’t drop a bomb this huge on her and keep her.
I can’t keep her and not tell her. I hate this.
I don’t know what the right choice is.
“What are you hiding?” She releases me, stiffening her arms by her sides, and frowns.
Everything.