Elemasters

1. In Too Deep

In Too Deep

It was like the universe suddenly clicked into place for him; like he finally had a way to describe the way he experienced the world.

The way his thoughts flowed in ways that weren’t always easy for others to track, how the true depth of his emotions couldn’t always be gleaned from the surface…

and the pressure he was constantly living under.

Given his obsession, it was no surprise to his parents when he spent an entire summer at the beach, swimming from sunup to sundown; deeply familiarizing himself with the feeling of waves against his skin, the flow of the currents, and the way salt clung to his hair.

It was even less of a surprise when he wanted to try out for the swim team freshman year, and less still when he quickly became their star member.

You’d think that’d be enough to make his mom and dad brag about him at every family gathering, or around the water cooler at work… or whatever the fuck people did in corporate offices.

Yeah, you’d think.

His parents’ lack of acknowledgement never stopped him from getting to school over an hour early, just to practice his dive, or take a few laps in the massive pool to clear his mind.

It was a bit colder than he liked and filled with chlorine that made his skin feel weird; but he’d still much rather be there than at home when everyone else woke up.

And so, there he was, standing on the diving board overlooking that sparkling, blue rectangle that always welcomed him when no one else did.

There was only one week left until the regional swim meet, and there was no better time to focus than this; before anyone else was around to break his concentration.

He stared down at the still water from the 3-meter diving board and inhaled deeply.

He rolled his shoulders back, bounced once on the board…

and then launched himself into the air, twirling dramatically on the descent until he sliced through the surface of the water like a precision instrument.

In an instant, the world above was gone, leaving him alone with nothing but the sound of his heart beating in his ears and the feeling of currents rippling against his bare skin.

This was the part no one ever saw. People clapped when he got out of the pool, wet and breathless.

They looked impressed when his name hit the leaderboard.

But none of them understood this; the weightlessness, the silence, the way the world dulled and drifted away like the tide.

Down here, time didn’t tick forward, it pulsed.

That was the only way Dustin could ever describe it.

He stayed there as long as he could stand it, just floating and letting himself think. Eventually, however, his mortality came knocking; his lungs burning in that eternally familiar way that only served to remind him of his limitations.

He kicked his legs and propelled himself to the surface, and the moment the air came rushing back to him, so did everything else; the bullshit calculus test he had in fourth period, the too-loud hallway he’d inevitably have to step into sooner than later, that weird silence at dinner the night before that stretched until his brother joined them…

Dustin shook his head and glanced at the clock on the far wall.

6:45am

He still had an hour before any of that shit would matter, and he was going to make the most of it.

By the time Dustin had showered, dressed, and stuffed his still-damp swim gear into his gym bag, Yuri Kochiyama High School had fully roared to life.

The halls were humming with noise; lockers clanging, sneakers squeaking, someone’s Motorola Razr chiming with a song that was catchy a couple of months ago but had been annoying ever since.

Dustin slipped in with the early crowd; hair still wet at the roots, headphones on and plugged into his iPod nano, but no music was playing. That way he could pretend like he couldn’t hear anyone, without actually limiting his spatial awareness.

He moved like a ghost, just another half-asleep senior in a sea of faces. He kept his head down, eyes on his schedule even though school had started months ago and he’d long since memorized it. Anything to avoid eye contact.

That worked fine until Bailey Yu came into view, orbiting the vending machines like a planet made of pink, plastic, and overconfidence.

“Dusty!” she sang, like she hadn’t just blasted through the noise-canceling barrier of his fake music bubble.

He flinched internally… well, mostly internally.

“M-morning Bailey,”

She wore a neon yellow bomber jacket over a tight pink graphic tee that said GOD IS A WOMAN AND SHE HAS LIP GLOSS, paired with a tiered denim skirt and platform boots that made her at least four inches taller than she was the day before.

Her makeup was glittery and precise, and her smile was that brand of intense that made it impossible to tell whether she was delighted or deranged.

Some people saw her as an icon, most saw her as a neon nightmare and called her names that Dustin wouldn’t dare repeat.

But to him, she was just… Bailey. His best friend who’d always been there for him.

There for the late night calls when he was spiraling after yet another awkward dinner.

There to smoothly save him when he’d frozen up during the morning announcements and stumbled over his words.

There to cover for him with a convenient excuse when he was caught staring at one of the boys in the gym for a few seconds too long…

“Big meet coming up, yeah?” she said, popping open her Red Bull with a long, glittery press-on, “you better kick ass or else I will have made a giant sign for nothing,”

“I always do, don’t I?”

“Good. I’ll be damned if I use my glitter-glue for no good reason,” Bailey replied with a wink, taking a big gulp of her energy drink, “so… you’re gonna be at the bonfire tonight, right?”

Ah, right. That.

The bonfire that the senior class had every year to celebrate the last vestiges of fall before winter arrived in earnest. It was a Kochiyama High tradition; even Dustin’s parents had done it back in their heyday. Honestly though, he’d completely forgotten about it.

“I don’t know, doesn’t really seem like my scene,” he shrugged, “I don’t drink, and I only smoke every now and then. Besides, the only friend I’d have there would be you,”

“I’m the only friend you have anywhere,” Bailey quickly corrected him with a giggle, “you should still come though! I bet James Zhang is gonna be there,”

Dustin stiffened, his cheeks flushing red.

“S-shut up!” he hissed, though it had no venom, “look, I gotta get to class. I’ll catch you at lunch, alright?”

“Fine, fine. But think about it, k’ Dusty?”

Dustin shot her a thumbs up as he continued making his way to his locker, trying to will away the blush still creeping across his face.

Dustin hit his locker, grabbed his AP History textbook and immediately headed to class; the entire time he’d been in the halls, he felt like there was a specter looming over him.

An unspoken dread that he knew all too well.

There was one particular person he had no energy to see that morning, and, at least so far, he was lucky enough to avoid them altogether…

At least, until he had to cut through the main lobby.

Right next to the giant trophy case, stood a few members of the basketball team; The Kochiyama High Orcas. Usually, it would be easy enough for Dustin to ignore them entirely, and they’d likely do the same to him.

But of course, right in the center of the group was someone Dustin couldn’t ignore… no matter how much he wanted to sometimes.

Chris Ying; his dumb ass twin brother, leaning casually against the glass case, running a hand through his freshly bleached hair for no other reason than to flex his arms in his Ed Hardy tank.

Dustin didn’t hate Chris. He couldn’t; not only were they twins, but there was a time when they were incredibly close.

Before Dustin had Bailey, Chris was the one he shared everything with, and Chris championed him in return.

He was the one standing up for him when the bullying started, the one forcing their parents to notice him when it seems they only had time and attention for one of their sons.

And now, even though their social circles had diverged, Chris was always cheering him on… in his own way.

Dustin’s disdain wasn’t rooted in anger toward his brother, it was just…

everything. The way he was so effortlessly confident, the way everyone gravitated to him like a human magnet.

And most of all, the fact that they had the same face; the same high cheekbones, tired, but expressive eyes, and sharp jawline.

Hell, the only difference between them was that Chris had a small scar across his upper lip; barely even noticeable, but the only real way to tell the two apart.

But somehow, everyone saw Dustin as soft, thoughtful, maybe even forgettable… but on Chris those same features looked model-esque and downright magnetic.

Dustin stopped for a moment, knowing he didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with any bullshit that morning.

But he still had to walk this way to get to class on time… so, he adjusted his headphones to reestablish the illusion that they were actually playing music, and prepared to walk right past the group like he hadn’t even noticed them.

But unfortunately, one of them noticed him; Spinner, the tallest one on the team, with the lowest IQ (if any of Dustin’s past run-ins with him were to be believed).

“Chris, bro, I cannot believe you’re actually related to that emo freak,”

Dustin’s shoulders tensed; slightly. Imperceptible. He’d heard worse than that a million times, he’d just keep walking and ignore that asshole.

Of course it couldn’t be that simple.

“I can’t believe it either man. Looks like God only had enough swag for one of us,”

Hearing that from Chris, who probably thought his words wouldn’t make it through the headphones, forced Dustin to stop in his tracks. He whipped his head around and shot eye-daggers at his brother, causing Chris’s face to go pale and his expression to drop immediately.

Before Chris could say anything, Dustin had already turned on his heel and started storming down the hallway, hoping to just get into his classroom and forget he’d ever heard anything.

But as always, Chris moved faster.

“Bro, wait! Dustin, it was just a fucking joke dude, chill,” he called out, grabbing Dustin’s shoulder the moment he caught up to him, “don’t take shit so seriously all the time,”

“Just because you’re joking doesn’t mean I have to think it’s funny,” Dustin immediately shot back, shrugging Chris’s hand off him.

“Alright, alright fine. Look, why don’t you come to the bonfire with me tonight? Me and Bailey will make sure you look dope as fuck, and maybe you can finally hook up with that dude on the swim team that’s always staring at your ass. What’s his name, Leon?”

Without hesitation, Dustin flicked Chris’s ear, causing the latter to dramatically recoil in pain.

“Keep your voice down idiot. Unless you’re trying to out me to the entire school,” Dustin hissed, “and his name is Leo! It doesn’t even matter, I’m skipping it anyway,”

“I think the fuck not sir! You already missed Homecoming; your whole life can’t be swim training and jerking off.

You only get one senior year… well, unless you’re Bobby Arrington, that is,” Chris gestured to the 20-year-old senior with a patchy beard just as he passed by them, “we’ve gotta make it count. Do it for me? Your beloved big bro?”

Dustin let out another sigh. He really would rather swim a few more laps after school and then head home to relax…

but he also knew that Chris would never let him hear the fucking end of it if he didn’t go.

The last thing he needed was to spend the rest of their lives being badgered about the time he didn’t go to the senior class bonfire; that was not the kind of story he wanted his future grandkids hearing about.

“Alright, fine. I’ll go, but only because you won’t fucking leave me alone about it,”

Chris broke into a wide grin.

“Why would I ever do that? Cradle to grave baby bro, cradle to grave,”

Dustin had heard that phrase from Chris a million times; it was supposed to be a way of cementing their bond. The fact that they’d known each other since the beginning, and they’d ride or die together until the end…

The unfortunate reality was that Chris usually said it to soften Dustin up before they engaged in truly unhinged behavior.

Hopefully this wouldn’t be one of those times; the last thing Dustin needed was to die at some stupid senior party he didn’t even wanna go to.

Then again, what was the worst that could happen? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d spent his night cleaning up Chris’s puke. Or being forced to serve as the DD because everyone was shitfaced but him.

Annoying? Yes. But ultimately survivable.

He’d just need to do what he always did, and the evening would pass quickly without any problems.

Take a deep breath, and endure.