Chapter Fifteen
“So, Johnny, sit down and tell me what’s been happening since our last session.” Tash took out a notebook from the desk and looked expectantly at the young man sitting across from him.
To say Johnny had been completely transformed would be a lie, but there was little left of the angry, scraggly-looking teenager Tash had first met. He’d had a haircut, gotten some new clothes, and the sullen look on his face had been replaced by one Tash had seen before in the kids he’d helped in the past—cautious optimism warring with a defensive bravado. These kids were waiting for someone or something to snatch away the elusive happiness they’d only begun to understand existed.
“Nothin’ much.” But Johnny bit his lip, and his eyes refused to meet Tash’s.
Recognizing he needed to take a different tactic, Tash put down his pen. “How do you like the Clinic? It looks like you and the others get along pretty well; am I right?”
“Yeah. They’ve taught me a lot, and I think they like me.”
“I’m hearing a but in there. What’s the matter?” Tash pressed Johnny gently, not wanting to freak him out. He knew the young man worried about retaliation from his drug-dealing former boss.
“What’s gonna happen to me? I ain’t in school. I don’t have no place to live, really.” He dropped his gaze to the floor and kicked the edge of the rug with his sneaker. “I don’t wanna go back on the street no more.”
Tash’s heart went out to this boy. Johnny had never been given a chance to make something of himself. Another runaway kid with big dreams who’d come to learn life in the city wasn’t all bright lights. “You won’t have to. As long as you keep up with the program and work here, take your GED classes like you have been, you’ll be fine. We’re working on it. I promise.”
“I have been. I did well on the test I took, and my caseworker said she thinks I may even be able to graduate when I was supposed to if I study hard.”
“That’s great. I’m proud of you. I know your temporary foster family, the Ortegas, reported how hard you’ve been working.”
A rare smile touched Johnny’s lips. “I like Mr. and Mrs. Ortega. They’ve been really nice to me. I felt so bad when they told me how their son had been killed in a drive-by shooting.”
Tash sensed Johnny’s discomfort as he watched him squirm in his seat. “It’s why what the Center does is so important. Every gun they get off the street is one less gun in the hands of a killer. One less innocent death.”
“I know,” mumbled Johnny. “I still don’t believe Dr. Jordan doesn’t hate me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. I happen to know he’s proud of you and how you’re trying to help yourself; we all are.” Tash came around from behind the desk to sit in the chair next to Johnny. “It takes a lot of courage to do what you’re doing. You’re helping not only yourself but preventing innocent people, children, from getting hurt by drugs and guns. Everyone makes mistakes. The hard thing is admitting it and learning from them.”
“I’m never gonna go back to selling drugs,” Johnny spit out with vehemence. “I don’t want no one to die because of me.”
“I believe you.” And he did. Tash could now send a silent prayer to whoever was listening that this time, a life had been saved, and Tash helped.
“Thanks, Dr. Tash. I don’t know why you’re so nice to me, but I owe you one. You and Dr. Jordan.” They walked out of the office together and headed down the hallway to the front, where Tash heard the familiar voices of his friends.
Everyone had gathered around the front desk and greeted them with broad smiles.
“Tash, come congratulate Mike and Rachel. They’re engaged.” Drew waved him over, a huge smile almost splitting his face in half.
He said good-bye to Johnny and grabbed hold of Mike to give him a hug. “That’s great news. I’m so happy for you both.” He leaned down to give Rachel a kiss on the cheek.
Her green eyes glowed, and a smile of happiness lit up her pretty face. “Thanks so much.” Her arm was linked with Mike’s, but Tash caught a flash of a diamond on her hand. “We stopped by on the way to my grandmother’s house.”
Drew raised his eyebrows. “You told us before Nana? You are in trouble.” He leaned against Ash, who put his arms around him. “I wouldn’t tell her you told us first.”
They all laughed, and then Mike and Rachel left. Drew checked his watch.
“Okay, gang, time to close up shop. See you tomorrow.” The three young people behind the front desk—Marly, Steve, and Johnny, busied themselves with shutting down the computers and locking the drawers. “Marly, honey, do you need a ride home?”
The young woman shook her long dark hair free from the collar of her down jacket. “No, thanks. I have a ride with Javier and Steve.” She threw a grateful smile over her shoulder at Steve, who returned it.
Steve checked his phone. “Javier said he’ll be here in five minutes. He can drop you off too, Johnny. We’ll wait in here until he comes, okay?”
Drew nodded. “Of course. I’ll fix the door so it automatically locks behind you when you leave.”
As the rest of the men broke into smaller groups, Tash noticed Brandon hadn’t left Ash’s side. Obviously, the brothers had a heart-to-heart talk that had brought them some type of closure. Even as he watched, Ash pulled out his phone and showed both Brandon and Luke something that caused them to break out into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” asked Jordan, who walked over to them after hanging up his coat. “I could use a good laugh after hours of surgery.” He flexed his shoulders.
“You’re angling for a massage tonight, aren’t you, Prep School?” Luke teased, as he placed his hands on Jordan’s back. “Hmm, you are one big knot.” He massaged Jordan’s shoulders and kissed his neck.
Brandon caught his eye, and Tash recalled the massage Brandon had given him yesterday, which ended with a blowjob of such epic proportions it had rendered him weak at the knees. From the intensity of Brandon’s stare, it was obvious he remembered it as well.
Shit.
“Need a moment?”
Tash inwardly groaned at Ash’s amused voice in his ear. Don’t let him get to you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He spun back around. “Everyone want to get started? There’s food in the back so we can eat while we talk.”
He didn’t wait for anyone to answer and strode down the hall. To his great relief, he heard everyone follow him, and they streamed into the conference room. After they’d all taken their food and sat around the table making small talk, Tash cleared his throat. Avoiding Brandon’s glare, he began to speak.
“In continuation of our discussion last month we here are teaming up with the Center and Wanda at the shelter to bring as many kids and teens together in a safe environment, whether it’s to talk to a counselor, like myself or Rachel, work with Brandon on their schoolwork, or simply have a place to go when they think there is no place for them.”
“Brandon, you’re on board with this now, right?” Gage had finished eating and pushed his plate away as he faced Brandon. “No more freaking out and running?”
“No.” Brandon shook his head. “I’m good. Since the last time we met, I’ve been helping out Noah and Tash with the call center. It’s been so incredibly fulfilling. Now as for the Center, I invited the two boys from my school who get bullied constantly. They seemed really eager.”
Gage’s eye lit up with approval. “Dwayne and Wilson are so excited. I heard them this afternoon planning what books they want to bring with them.”
“Yeah,” said Brandon. He put down his fork and stopped chewing his baked ziti. “I want to get them into helping some of the kids from the neighborhood around the shelter.” He glanced over his shoulder. “That’s okay with you, right, Luke?”
Luke had his arm around an exhausted Jordan. “Of course. It’s what we envisioned the Center to be, right?” He nudged Jordan, who lay drowsily against his shoulder.
“Hmm?” Jordan yawned and stretched. “Yeah, exactly. Keep the kids off the streets and out of the way of the people who might hurt them.” He drank some water and wiped his mouth. “Say, I meant to ask you. I know you can’t give any specifics, but how’s the kid, Johnny, doing? Has he been working out?”
“Good news to report on that front.” Tash shared a smile with Jordan. “He’s following everything we’ve asked of him and made friends with the others here. I think he enjoys it” Tash’s eyes softened. “Honestly, I know how hard it was for you, but it might have been the best thing that ever happened to him to get involved with you. It may have saved his life.”
“Well, I’m not saying it was worth it, but it gives me tremendous satisfaction to know that boy is off the streets and getting helped.” His pale blue eyes lit up. “I guess you could call me a lifesaver.”
Luke groaned and appealed to Tash. “Now why did you have to go do that? You know how big his ego is.”
Jordan leaned over and ruffled Luke’s curls. “Matches the rest of me.”
With that comment, Drew rolled his eyes, Brandon cackled with laughter, and Ash’s facial expression was a picture of pained resignation. Luke, accustomed to Jordan’s overinflated opinion of himself, ignored him and spoke directly to Tash.
“I’m happy the kid is getting help. I know he’d be going nowhere if he was still with the guy he worked for.”
The humor wiped clean from Jordan’s face. “In all seriousness, I spoke to Jerry earlier today.” He glanced at Tash. “You remember him; he was Keith’s partner.”
At Tash’s nod, Jordan continued. “Jerry said with Johnny’s help they were making good progress on nailing down this Donovan bastard, and they hope to make an arrest shortly.”
After today’s session, he couldn’t have received better news. “I know Johnny will be relieved. That kid really wants to make something out of himself.”
“And you think he can, don’t you?” asked Luke, a thoughtful look on his face.
Tash knew Luke was still somewhat suspicious of Johnny because he’d sold Jordan his drugs. But Johnny wasn’t the one who’d beaten Jordan, sending him to the hospital, nor did he control a gun-running, drug-dealing cartel in New York City. The kid was only seventeen, after all.
Before he could answer, to his surprise, Brandon cut him off. “I do. I know kids like him. Hell, I was a kid like him.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “Not the drug dealing, but the gutting hopelessness of life, when you wake up in the middle of the night wondering why you were even born.”
There was no need to wonder anymore, as Tash watched Ash place a comforting hand on Brandon’s back and lean over to speak quietly in his ear. The three brothers proved sometimes good things happen. It might’ve been a journey through hell for them, but through sheer determination and a strong will never to give up, these three men had survived, though each had to go through a very different personal hell to reach the point where they were today.
As young as Brandon was, he seemed to have come out of it the most unscathed. Despite losing two siblings, an abusive father, and life on the streets, he’d risen above it all and become a teacher, untouched by bitterness. It was a remarkable story.
Minutes ticked away as the men continued to talk among themselves. Tash busied himself cleaning up the table when Gage slipped up behind him. “I’m happy for you, man.”
Tash faced Gage. Losing a lover was heartbreaking, losing a sibling, inconceivable. For a moment, he thought of Valerie. “I—we…” There was nothing he could say to Gage. The man could always read him. Plus, as Valerie always told him, he was the lousiest liar; every emotion showed on his face.
A weak laugh escaped him. “There isn’t much to talk about.” Stealing a surreptitious glance over at Brandon, watching him share a laugh with his brothers, so carefree and beautiful, Tash couldn’t put into words the music that filled his soul.
Gage pulled him out in the hallway to speak privately.
“There’s no need to talk. I know you. You wore your sadness like a dark cloud over your head, no matter where you went. Since you met Brandon, though, it’s all different.” Gage leaned his hip against the doorframe, effectively blocking them from the group inside. “You’ve come back to life.”
“I’m not sure what I’m doing is right.” Gage had become like a brother to him during those black years and deserved his honesty. “He’s so young and starting a whole new life now.” Though it hurt him like a physical wound, he had to say it. “I don’t want to hold him back. What he thinks he’s feeling—”
“Is what he has in his heart.” Gage cut him off with earnest desperation. “Don’t go there. Don’t allow some made-up rules in a society that’s disappointed you for years decide who to love. You deserve this.” He glanced over his shoulder at Brandon. “You both do.” Gage squeezed his shoulder and walked back inside.
Reflecting on what his friend had said, Tash remained deep in thought. If what Gage said was true, and he and Brandon continued their relationship, he wouldn’t be able to hide his emotions. Since Danny’s death, there’d been no pleasure in his life; one season melded into another, creating an amalgam of grayness.
Gage said he wore a cloud of darkness over him. Perhaps he did.
“Tash?” Brandon stood before him. His honey-colored hair caught the light, and his eyes shone brightly with hope. “Is everything all right? You and Gage looked pretty serious out here.”
When he looked into Brandon’s face, the clarity of Tash’s vision startled him for a moment. It was like driving out of pea-soup-thick fog in a valley to the sharp, wide-open night sky. Blurred lines came into focus, and the tightness of fear, so instinctual he didn’t ever realize it was there, relaxed, leaving him almost giddy with relief.
“It won’t be easy, you know.” He wasn’t sure Brandon would understand, but the light that kindled behind those wide green eyes dispelled any doubt. Brandon knew exactly what Tash alluded to.
“I’ve learned the best things in life are often the hardest won.” Brandon took a step closer to him. “Though I wasn’t aware we were on opposite sides. I prefer to think we’re in this together.” He arched a brow. “Are we? Together?”
Tash breathed in Brandon’s scent—leather and warm male. How long had it been since he’d hungered to be touched?
Now it wasn’t an amorphous person floating around in his head; it was Brandon who filled his mind and his heart. If they were alone, Tash could tell him how close he’d like to be. Fused together, bodies moving in perfect symmetry. Chest to chest, heart to heart.
“Yes.” He smiled into the brilliant happiness of Brandon’s face. “Yes, we are. Together.”