Embracing the Beast (Awakening Pride #13)

Chapter One

Brenna was in the dream. The same one sucked her under every night.

It gripped her by the throat and held her captive, held her paralyzed while the same scene played out.

She was strapped down, but it hadn’t mattered.

She couldn’t have moved anyway. They’d given her something, but she had no memory of what.

Tears leaked from eyes she couldn’t blink.

Her head wouldn’t move to see who spoke above her.

The squeak of the wheels on whatever they’d tied her to echoed along the corridor.

It was high-pitched and grated on her ears like the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

Bright lights shone on her as they wheeled her down the long hallway before pushing through a wide door and parking in the middle of the room.

Someone moved around her.

Who? Who was doing this to her? What would they do to her?

Panic set in. She feared what was coming. Knew deep in her soul how badly it would hurt. She couldn’t stop it. Her screams were locked deep inside where no one would hear them. No one would help anyway.

She swore she felt something reaching out to her from somewhere deep inside her. Some part of her buried so deep she might never know exactly what it was. She couldn’t let her captors take it completely. Couldn’t let that piece of her cease to exist.

Hide! A shout but only in her head as she begged that piece of her to protect what she no longer could.

She was the most vulnerable a person could be. Naked, cold, alone and unable to move. When was the last time she’d eaten? Had a drink of water? Felt the caress of fresh air over her skin? Felt a touch of comfort? Why was she here? Fear ate at her until it was all she knew.

Then he was there, features obscured by the light, warped by her overwhelming fear.

“Let’s begin.”

The voice sent chills of terror down her spine. The brush of his fingers against her skin made her nauseous. She didn’t want this. Had never wanted this. She prayed to a god she’d long since lost faith in for someone, anyone, to save her. To please, save her!

“Let’s begin.”

Brenna woke with a jerk, hands clawing at the arms holding her tight.

Her throat burned from the rage and fear she released.

She fought until a quiet voice pushed inside her fear, pushed it away.

Jonah. He was Jonah. Jonah Conti, the male who’d scooped her up off the road when she’d been tossed out like garbage.

The man who held her without fear, who vowed to keep her safe.

He called to her in ways that made no sense.

She, who’d left trust behind a long time ago, trusted him.

She clung to him, burying her nose in his neck, breathing him in.

“Shh, Bre. I’ve got you. I’m right here.

You’re safe. They can’t hurt you. Not anymore.

Never again.” The comfort she found was from more than the sound of his voice, more than the stroke of his palm up and down her spine, more than his scent, his strength.

It was his very presence. She searched for him when she woke and panicked if she didn’t see him right away.

All he demanded of her was that she eat, hydrate, and rest. According to him, everything else would come in time.

She’d been in this room for three weeks now.

Jonah assured her she wasn’t being held, that she could leave at any time.

She’d yet to tell him she viewed it more as keeping everyone else out.

There’d been a wall of windows when she’d first arrived, but Jonah and several others had painted a dark glaze over it.

Jonah had then taken her hand and led her out of the room, so she could see what they’d done.

Anyone standing outside would no longer be able to stare in and watch her.

She had privacy. It was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever had.

In her other life. Before Jonah. Before she’d woken wrapped in his arms for the first time.

A life she remembered little of. There were moments when she felt brushes at her consciousness, like soft flickers at her peripheral that disappeared the more she tried to turn to see them.

She had little memory prior to waking with Jonah.

Mentally, she knew she’d attached to him, that he was a security blanket.

Yet, he was more. So much more. She was simply unable to lock on to why.

Thankfully, Jonah accepted her need to be near him.

He hadn’t left her side since the first time she’d woken alone and wrecked the room while screaming as if she were being murdered.

“Was it the same one?” he asked, and she nodded against his neck. “Want to talk?”

She shook her head. He never pressed. Whenever the one he called Tony came in and tried to press her to speak, Jonah told him to knock it off. That she’d speak when she was ready. It wasn’t that she wasn’t ready. It was that she didn’t have anything to say. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

“Want to go back to sleep? No? Okay. We can get up. Why don’t you take a shower while I grab us some breakfast?”

She clung tighter.

“Want to go with me?” Jonah offered then froze against her when she nodded. “Yeah? We can do that? Okay. Let’s get you out of this room. Maybe, give you a tour of the house?”

She nodded again.

“Okay. Good plan. Maybe, if you want, we can take a walk outside. Not far. Just to get you some fresh air, Bre. Feel the sun on your skin.”

He was right. She hadn’t left the room since coming here.

He’d brought everything to her. The man had even figured out how to get the black dye out of her hair and made it look more like her natural red.

When he finished, He’d told her how beautiful she looked.

He brought her lotion, clothes, shoes, underwear he swore he had his best friend’s mate pick up for her as if it would embarrass her to know he’d personally picked out her panties and bras.

“Why don’t you take the bathroom first,” he offered, helping her to stand then gaining his feet beside her. “I’ll get dressed then we can switch places.”

They moved around each other with the ease of those comfortable in each other’s company.

Three weeks and he remained the perfect gentleman around her.

They both ignored the erection that pressed against her when they snuggled in bed.

He didn’t mention it, and since she’d yet to speak, she didn’t either.

It was refreshing to know he desired her, even if it was only a physical response.

In her whole life, she’d never known desire.

She’d been an object not a person. Jonah made her feel like a human, a woman.

What would he do if she turned toward him?

If she initiated a different type of intimacy with him? Would he reciprocate?

She hurried through her shower and dressed, stepping out of the steam and into their room.

Jonah’s fingers brushed her arm, a smile on his face as they switched places.

She sensed she wasn’t a woman who liked to be touched, so it was telling how much she craved his.

She sat on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on then pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

She stood when Jonah reentered the room.

“Ready?” He glanced toward her then held out his hand.

She slipped her fingers between his and tried to control her trembling as the door slid open.

“You can change your mind. We can do this another day.”

She took a deep breath and forced her foot beyond the threshold.

She had to do this. Time was getting away from her.

She loved how protective Jonah was, but his boss, Tony, was right.

She needed answers. Needed to figure out what had happened to her and why.

As long as she could avoid Murphy and Finn Dockery, she’d be fine.

She’d been informed they were her biological brothers.

Finn was her twin. Yet, she felt no connection.

She didn’t know them. Wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Every time she saw them, anger coursed through her.

Rage burned inside her, and she didn’t know why.

She was so tired of not knowing anything.

“We’re going to go through this panel,” Jonah explained as he pushed a door open.

“We’re actually walking inside the walls right now.

We discovered all of this after Tony bought the land and we moved in here.

The plan was always to build something better suited to our team, and Tony still plans to.

This will work for now. Another panel here.

” He pressed, and a piece of the wall popped open.

He led her through it then shut it behind them.

“See this spot here.” He placed her hand over a ridge in the wall.

“Press here and it opens it up.” He guided her into opening and shutting it several times.

“This way you always know how to get back to our room.”

She nodded. Of course, he would think of making sure she knew how to get back. She loved that he called it their room. His and hers. As if they were a couple.

“There might be a lot of people in the kitchen,” Jonah warned. “It’s early, but a lot of the guys are early risers. I’ll be right beside you, but if you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know. We’ll leave. No questions. Okay?”

She nodded, the words still stuck somewhere between her heart and throat.

Had the ones who’d held her managed to take her voice?

Had they stolen that from her? Not physically.

She knew she was physically capable of speech.

Yet, there were other ways to force someone silent.

There was a block inside her as if she were waiting for the right time.

The right words, whatever they were. One thing about silence though, it made her listen more intently to what others said.

Which meant she was instantly alert as they drew closer to the kitchen.

The chatter hit her first. Low voices, many of them.

Some laughter. Camaraderie. Easy. None of it changed when she and Jonah entered the room.

She’d expected it to, but other than some nods in their direction, some calls to Jonah, the group merely acknowledged them and continued as if it were nothing unusual for her to join them.

Jonah led her to the table, and the others shuffled to make room for them.

Plates were passed and soon she had a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon.

A glass of milk was set in front of her, and she realized that even though she’d taken her meals in her room, they all knew what she preferred.

Tony walked in, glanced over, but said nothing as he headed straight to the coffeepot and refilled the mug in his hand. She’d made her way through most of the food on her plate when a woman stepped in with a baby in her arms.

“Jonah! Oh, my gosh! Look, Emery. Uncle Jonah’s here.” She strode over and passed the baby off to Jonah, who eagerly took the infant and cuddled the baby against his chest. “He’s missed you.”

“I’ve missed him,” Jonah murmured as he stroked his fingers up and down Emery’s back. “How’s my favorite little guy? You missed your Uncle Jonah, didn’t you? Yeah. I know. No one snuggles like Uncle Jonah.”

Bre agreed with that. Jonah knew how to cuddle.

“Jonah. Good to see you. Brenna, nice to see you out and about.”

She glanced up as Mitch Rossi joined his mate and baby in the kitchen. He was one of the few men whose name she’d learned due to how much Jonah talked about him. She liked Mitch because he was the male Jonah was closest with.

“We need to catch up,” Mitch told Jonah.

“Why don’t you walk with us?” Jonah offered, glancing at her. “Little guy wants to hang with Uncle Jonah for a bit anyway.”

“He’s definitely missed you,” Mitch agreed. “I swear I’ve caught him searching the room for you more than once.”

“Of course, he is,” Jonah agreed. “Me and Emery are besties. Isn’t that right, buddy? You ready?”

It took her a moment to realize he was asking her.

Bre nodded and eased from the table. Jonah led her out the front door.

They passed Tony again, but he still didn’t say anything.

With every step she took, she felt the weight of his gaze, though.

Then they were on the porch. She closed her eyes and breathed in the world around her.

So many scents surrounded her. Mitch joined them with a bottle that he passed off to Jonah.

Jonah adjusted Emery so he could feed the baby.

It left her unable to hold his hand, and she missed it.

She was a grown woman, though. Jonah had a life before her, and he deserved to continue having that life despite the upheaval she’d brought to him.

As they walked into the yard, she drank in the new world unfolding at her fingertips, at her toes, and took a deep breath.

This was a step, an important one, but there were many more she’d have to take.

She wanted to free the piece of herself hidden deep inside her.

Needed to find her voice and discover her truth, so she could speak it.

More than anything, she longed to heal from the trauma her nightmares hinted at.

It was time to stop hiding and begin learning how to live.