Embracing the Dark Side (Morozov Mafia #2)

4. Guilt

Chapter four

Guilt

Jolie stood in front of her closet in a towel. She had curled her hair and kept it in a net to secure it. She decorated her face with all the makeup she hated, like eyeshadow and foundation. Black eyeliner ran along the top and bottom of her lids, and lipstick was packed onto her lips. She could easily pass for a bridesmaid ready for a wedding. But now she had to find something to wear.

It’s been a month since she moved into the Morozov household, and here she was on the night of her boyfriend’s party, stuck with ‘thrift shop’ clothes. The humiliation from the last party still lingered in her memory. Even though no one knew she was Adrik’s girlfriend, she wanted at least to impress them so that when the time came to tell the world, she wouldn’t be hated so badly.

I doubt it matters.

No matter what she wore or how she behaved, there was no washing away her ‘American-ness.’

Her attention turned to a dress Katia had bought her weeks ago—the one she was supposed to wear to Tatianna’s dinner but opted instead for something comfier.

Now, it was her only choice, so she took it off the hanger and tossed it on the bed. A knock saved her the attempt of trying it on, and she peeked her head out .

Her eyes widened upon finding Adrik.

A soft smile lingered on his lips, and his blue eyes ignited upon seeing her. He was dressed in such expensive attire, amplifying what a gorgeous man he was, one that was out of her league in every way, including financial stability and maturity. It made her realize how inferior she was, and for a moment, she hated herself. She wanted to deserve him. She wanted people to look at her and believe she could be his equal. But how could she expect anyone else to if she couldn’t believe it herself?

“You going to let me in?”

Jolie stumbled back, pulling the door open. The sharp sound of his dress shoes hitting the floor attracted her two cats. Realizing he was wearing black, Jolie bent down, snatching their furry bodies up as they meowed.

“I see you didn’t take my suggestion to leave.”

She struggled with the cats as they whined and wiggled to get out. “I wanted to stay.”

“I’m glad.”

Her eyes popped up, and upon seeing the genuine expression on his face, her stomach curled.

“But I do have to warn you. Katia and I still have to pretend to be husband and wife. And though I’d rather have you be by my side tonight, you understand why you can’t.”

“Of course, of course.” The words came out more distracted than she intended, focusing on balancing the cats to help ease any sadness his explanation caused. “It’s fine.”

“Can you put the cats down?”

Jolie hesitated. She didn’t want him to notice any disappointment. She knew she’d have to stay away, but when would they ever be able to be together? Jolie dropped her arms and blew out air as they ran away. “Brats,” she yelled at them. Jolie then realized she was in only a towel and wrapped her arms around herself. Her hair was still in a net, and she cursed herself for even opening the door without checking who it was first. But Adrik had never once knocked on her front door.

“Jolie.”

She popped her eyes up in attention. Her name on his lips was an aphrodisiac.

Adrik approached and she stepped back. His presence intimidated her and though it wasn't fear he ignited; it was something she couldn't find a word for. Something that coincided with consuming and overwhelming. He gripped her arms, pulling her to him, snatching all her attention so that she could look nowhere else but in his eyes. Her heart pounded. He became her world in this instance, and every insecurity withered away. “After today, first thing tomorrow morning, I will announce my divorce to Katia.”

A wave of exhilaration burst through her, but it was drowned in the realization of what that meant.

A divorce from Katia would cause death.

A divorce from Katia would cause a battle between their families that could go on for years.

“You can’t,” she heard herself say. Jolie tried to voice her reasoning, but everything sounded self-righteous. He wasn’t doing this for her. He was doing it because he hated Katia. “Aren’t you worried about what it will do? The damage it will cause.”

“I knew this day would come, Jolie. It simply took the right incentive.” Adrik kissed her, drowned in her, wanting nothing more than to rip the towel from her and dive between her legs. But after their lovemaking last night, she would be too sore to enjoy it. And her enjoyment was something he found himself caring for.

Sex with Jolie was so different after years of being with random women. The emotion involved changed the entire dynamic of the game. He never wanted to go back to the emptiness of one-night stands. Devouring Jolie every night was his future.

Jolie suddenly shoved him back. “My lipstick.” She touched her face as she darted to the mirror. “I hate lipstick, hate it.” She searched for a napkin to fix the smudges.

Adrik touched his lips, moving to the mirror to check his face. “There is lipstick that doesn’t smear.”

She handed him a napkin. “Yeah, and it costs, like, twenty dollars.”

Adrik cleaned his face and continued to watch her. He knew he needed to leave. The party was starting in a few minutes. But for the rest of the night, he’d have to listen to bullshit and fake every laugh. These were the last moments of something real, and he wanted to bask in them. She dodged his gaze, feeling the weight of his stare. Her shyness increased as she tightened the towel around her. Adrik took her fingers into his, raising her knuckles to his lips. “You never have to worry about money again.” He kissed her cheek and parted from her. “Stay by Vargo and bring your phone so I can fuck you from across the room.”

“Adrik!”

He turned to her with his hand on the door.

Jolie stuttered, hesitant, but she forced herself to say it. “I’m not worth any of this. I’m a kindergarten teacher. And I know you don’t like Katia, but she fits next to you better than I ever could. I’m a—” She looked around, noticing her cats staring at her. “I’m a cat.”

It was the stupidest thing she’d ever said, but it made sense, didn’t it? In the scheme of things, she was a pathetic, tiny little domesticated cat, and he was a powerful wild lion.

Adrik smirked. “Good thing I like pussy.”

He left her, and Jolie stared after him, mouth open, before a strangled laugh escaped her. Did he understand what she was trying to say?

Probably not.

Jolie sank to her knees. She was trying to convince him that she wasn’t meant for him. Girls like her didn’t get men like him; they only wished they did. She wasn’t good enough, like she hadn’t been for Vincent, her ex-boyfriend. He was settling. Adrik could get amazing women who would literally kill for him. And who wouldn’t be betraying him.

That was where most of her insecurities lay.

I have to tell him. Tonight, after his birthday. I can’t let him break up with Katia until he knows what I’ve done.