Embracing the Dark Side (Morozov Mafia #2)

42. Choice

Chapter forty-two

Choice

“Do you hear what the preacher is saying?” Jolie’s mother gripped her hand and leaned in. “God wants you out of that life. You have a purpose, darling, and He wants you to find it.”

Jolie smiled and nodded, but when her mother looked away, her smile fell, and she stared sightlessly at the stage. None of the preacher’s words were reaching her. She was deaf, unable to get out of her head, to unsee the blood and the damage done to Vincent. To unhear his screams. To no longer feel what it was like cutting into his skin.

Jolie jolted up and quickly announced she was going to the bathroom before she bolted out the door and down the hall. A guard was on her heels, a shadow, no more use to her than a mannequin. He probably didn’t even speak English. She thought about screaming at him, but what good would it do? It was Adrik she wanted to scream at.

Jolie sat on the toilet in the stall, with her head between her legs, sucking in wild breaths. A panic attack ransacked her body. Her hands braced against the walls and the pressure of gravity pressed on her back. Her breaths were wild and loud, and it attracted a passerby. “Ma’am, are you okay? Do you want me to get help? ”

Jolie focused on swallowing. “No, I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” As an afterthought, she added, “Thank you.” Just because her life was falling apart didn’t mean she had to lash out at an innocent bystander.

It took ten minutes to calm herself enough to get up. She would make some excuse about stomach problems. It would cover why she undoubtedly looked terrible. She held onto the doors, walking weak and tired to the sink. Jolie leaned her face close to the water. The cold liquid was refreshing against her swollen eyes.

I have to stop this, she told herself. Misery wasn’t the answer to her problems. She needed to move on. Perhaps the only way to do so would be to tell Agent Mally the truth. She knew where Vincent was. She could save him. She could put Adrik away, and he’d never be able to hurt anyone again.

But could she do that? Could she put a second boyfriend in prison?

A cruel God. Or a just one? Jolie didn’t know which.

She dared to look at herself in the mirror. Her brows knitted at the sticky note against it.

Jolie’s heart pounded in her chest, and her fingers shook as she reached for it. She didn’t want it to be him, and yet she wanted nothing else. It was a cluster of confusion in her chest and head. She pulled it from the mirror and read the word. ‘ Stay .’ Her lip trembled, and she clenched her teeth, sadness and anger colliding. She hated Adrik for coming back. She hated him for reaching out. But in the back of her mind, in the terrible darkness that existed, there was relief. She needed closure. She couldn't go another five years with such a heavy burden on her shoulders .

Jolie exited the bathroom, searching. To the left, she found another guard, and Jolie slowly went down the hallway. It was quiet in the back, the speakers from the sermon slowly fading as she went further from the front. Another guard was waiting for her at a private office, and he opened the door for her.

She remained in the hallway for ten unsteady breaths before she stepped inside.

Adrik sat behind a desk. The pastor’s name was written on a plate in the front. A picture of his wife and family was on the left and a computer on the right. Adrik had his feet up, his clasped hands resting on his belly. His ice-blue eyes stared at her.

Jolie licked her lips, and with an anger clouding her thoughts, she bitterly said, “You look like your father.”

Adrik smirked, admiring her attempt to hurt him.

“What are you doing here?” She fisted her hands at her side. The sticky note crumbled in between her fingers.

Adrik stood, buttoning his jacket before tucking in the chair. It was meticulous, these movements—mannerisms that had been absent the last time she saw him. He was different. She could feel it, like the calm in the center of a hurricane.

Jolie dropped her gaze to the ground. She wasn’t going to fall for any charm. She wasn’t going to let him intimidate her or blind her. She knew he was like a siren to her, and listening to him would break all her restraint. She was stupid for coming, but it was too late to back away.

His feet came into view. Just inches from her. His cologne filled her senses, and her eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled.

Adrik leaned into her. He didn’t want to notice the dead look on her face or the drab way she stood. These were things he could fix. He could bring the light back to her eventually. As someone that’s been raised on how to destroy, it would be interesting to learn how to revive. He didn’t know if his hands were made for anything more than violence. But he did know that when he touched her, he believed he could do amazing things.

“When I told you,” he whispered, “that I wanted to teach you bad things, that was never one of them.”

Jolie’s eyes lifted finally and found him. The admittance was the only kind of apology she would get. But to even come as close as that meant more to her than she realized. Tears ignited in her eyes. “You made me hurt him.” Her lips trembled, and she fought the sob in her throat.

Adrik’s brows knitted at her pain. It was a sound he could have gone his whole life without hearing. He slipped his hands into his pockets. Touching her was a privilege, one he would withhold until she allowed it. If she ever did. From the sound of her voice, a fear began to build up inside him. What if there was no recovery from this? What if she didn’t give him a chance to fix it?

When he came here, that hadn’t been a thought in his head, and now it was a blaring conclusion eating away at his confidence. How could he convince her to come back? What would it take to gain her love again?

Adrik removed an envelope from his coat pocket. He held it out to her.

“What’s this?” Jolie snatched it from him. She was aggravated by his lack of words, but she knew him. She knew how he typically got what he wanted with so little effort. He was the spoiled child of a billionaire family. Was there any common thing he ever struggled with? She didn’t ignore how hard he worked for his company, but a relationship was different.

Jolie pulled out a bunch of folded papers. There was nothing else for him to pay off. Did he really think money was the way to get through to her? Did he know her at all?

When she opened them, her knees nearly weakened. She fell back against the door, and tears dripped down her face without restraint. It was every drawing Helina had done, every flower they drew, and every letter they had written together. The scribbled letters of ‘BFF’ drawn in almost every picture warmed her after so many days of numbness. Jolie traced Helina in the drawing, sunlight reaching her even from a distance.

“You are the mother my daughter should have had.”

Jolie buried her face in the papers. She could still smell Helina underneath the rancid scent of rice and chicken, and Fabuloso.

“I’m going to get Helina back. But I have to go to Russia.” Adrik stepped toward Jolie, and against his better judgment, he rubbed his thumb against her cheek, wiping the wetness away before forcing Jolie to look at him by hooking a finger under her chin. “Come with me.”

Jolie dropped a fist on his chest, soft, and then harder the second time. There was anger in her still. She wanted to hurt him, yet at the same time, she wanted him to comfort her, to fix what he’d destroyed. “You broke my heart.”

Adrik rested his forehead against hers. “Then take mine.”

She closed her eyes, wishing she could block out his siren call, but it was too late. She was snagged, drowning, breathless. A chaste kiss brushed against her cheek, and then the corner of her lips. She felt him hover over her, his skin a whisper against hers .

Jolie turned her head at the last second. His hold on her not nearly as absolute as she thought. There was something disrupting the sound of his voice, interrupting his hypnotic talents. It was the sound of Vincent’s scream. It broke any connection. It severed whatever hope she had. There was no getting over it. There was no moving on.

“Jolie,” Adrik groaned against her ear, but she shook her head.

“I can’t.”

Adrik stepped back, his hands once more slipping into his pockets, his back straight and his emotions locked behind doors. It made sense that there would be no reconciliation. Happiness in his life was rare, fleeting, and a withering flame. Hers had gone out. There was no reigniting it.

Jolie looked pathetic, tears unashamedly dripping off her chin. She stared beyond him, not at him. It pissed him off, and he ground his teeth, feeling like an idiot for coming here. There was no time to convince her, and he wasn’t about to beg. All of this had been against his pride, and now he stood a fool in front of her.

“I can’t,” she whimpered again.

“Then go.” Every muscle clenched in his body, rebelling against such a statement. The ache in Adrik's gut told him to fight for her. The necklace burned against his skin, telling him he was an asshole for giving up. But he wasn’t going to force someone to be with him when they didn’t want to be. And no matter how much he wanted her; it was better this way. An American girlfriend would only sever alliances, and he was starting a war. Having her at his side would have been detrimental. She wasn’t worth so much effort.

‘But if you don’t fight for her, I will.’ Alexei’s voice repeated, and it almost encouraged Adrik to say something else, something better, something different. But his brother was dead, and there was no point.

“Go,” he said again.

There was a glance toward him, a moment when her eyes met with his, and he saw her disappointment, her pain, her anger, and the yearning just beyond, and he flinched, as if to step toward her, to stop her, but he kept his hands locked in his pockets, and she turned to the door and left.

Adrik stood there staring at it for an entire minute, waiting for her to change her mind.

But she didn’t.

And he had to leave.

With a nod of acceptance, he stepped out, fixing his jacket. Filip didn’t look at him, keeping his head straight. “Let’s go.”

Taking the lead, Filip led him out the back where two black SUVs waited. It was time to move on, time to get revenge, and get back on top. Wasting even a few moments here set him back. He needed to focus on important things, like destroying Katia and putting Uncle Yefim back in his place. But even those things lacked meaning, and Adrik stood in front of his car, with the door open, finding it difficult to move forward. He rarely felt regret in his life, but if he got in that car without Jolie, it would be a weight that would be too hard to carry.

No. He turned around, facing the church. No one said no to him.

Even her .

The door shoved open just as he stepped for it, and his heart hammered in his chest, begging it to be Jolie.

With an arm around her throat, and the barrel of a gun pressed against her temple, Jolie stumbled out, with wide, terrified eyes meeting him. Mally cowered behind her, keeping all her vital areas covered. She inched along the wall, putting distance between them.

“Adrik,” Jolie whimpered.

“It’s alright,” he assured with one hand. The other slipped into his jacket.

“Don’t!” Mally warned, tightening her hold.

Adrik removed his hand, holding it up. “Or what? You will shoot a civilian?”

“To bring you down? You should ask yourself, what won’t I do?”

Mally hissed when Jolie raked her nails down her arm. She pressed the gun harder against Jolie's temple. “You get away with everything. There’s no justice. You have your hands in everything!” she bit violently. “I worked my whole life to minimize the corruption, but it’s never-ending. Even if you’re dead, it will still live on, like a well-oiled machine, never faltering, never stopping. I only wanted to do good.”

Adrik watched Jolie, the desperation in her brow worsening as Mally’s monologue continued. There were ways to kill Mally, but the risk to Jolie was too big. Even a one-percent chance of death was too great. Jolie was his reason for fighting. Without her, all the vengeance in the world couldn’t fill him.

Mally glanced around. There were four other guards with guns on her. There was no getting out of this alive. But she had known this before she even came to the church. She knew Adrik would come eventually, like a moth to a flame. He was seeking redemption in Jolie, but what he failed to understand was that there was none for men like him. God would never forgive. There was already a special place in Hell for him, and Mally would be proud to send him there. “Do you see, Jolie?” Mally said. “You are a pillar. One more to tip him over. One more to destroy him.”

“Come on, Agent. You aren’t a killer. Don’t you want to bring me in? I’ll confess. I killed Nikolai. I set the fire to your building. What else do you want to know?”

Light ignited in her eyes. “Did you have your father killed?”

“No. That was Vincent.”

“Where is he?”

“In my guesthouse. Half-alive. You might be able to save him if you hurry.”

A breathless laugh escaped her. “I knew it. I told them, but they wouldn’t listen to me.”

“You were right.”

The patronization was recognized, and Mally tightened her hold on Jolie’s neck, nearly squeezing the air from her lungs. “You still think you are in control?”

Adrik slipped his hands in his pockets. “Aren’t I? You kill her, you die, and all the information I gave you goes with it. It’s pointless pointing the gun at her. Point it at me. My men won’t shoot. Use her as a shield and walk away.”

Her wild eyes flicked between him and his men. She was searching for the trick. There had to be one. But he was right. Threatening Jolie was stupid. She was her ticket out of here. As long as Jolie was wrapped around her, no one would take a shot at her. Mally straightened her arm, pointing the gun at Adrik. “I could shoot you. "

"You could. But there is plenty of information I could share with you. Imagine taking down every mafia family in Florida."

Mally couldn't pass up such a chance. "Move your men. Tell them to drop their weapons.”

Adrik motioned, and the four of them drifted behind the car, placing their guns on the hood. The path was free now. Free for her to escape with all the evidence she ever needed.

Mally shifted against the wall. One inch at a time, keeping a tight hold on Jolie. Jolie whimpered, trying to keep Mally's arm from cutting off her air supply. “Adrik,” Jolie whispered, begging. She couldn’t believe he just gave away his deepest secrets for Mally to use against him. There would be no getting out of jail now. He gave himself life in prison to save her. “I’m sorry. I love you. I hate that I do, but I love you.”

“It’s alright.” Adrik assured, clenching his teeth. He didn’t know how to save her, except to let her go. That was the answer all along, wasn’t it? For Jolie to remain the wholesome woman he loved, he needed to let her go. He was poison to her, and he was slowly killing her. As he watched Mally take another step, he told himself it was better this way, even if every part of him urged him forward.

The door popped open. “Jolie—”

Mally flinched when Heather came out, moving the gun toward Jolie’s mother in reckless fear. Jolie grabbed the gun instinctively. Weeks of captivity, of living in survival mode, ignited a fight in Jolie that couldn’t be subdued. She twisted Mally’s wrist, pulling the woman’s arm toward her. The gun fired at the ground, but it did nothing to stop Jolie from twisting, fighting the woman with feral desire. It was her life, and Jolie wasn’t going to die today. She hadn’t fought against Vincent and Santiago for anyone to take her out before she was ready. Any weakness in her was devoured, and now she used that strength to wrestle the gun out of Mally’s hand, shoving her down to the ground.

The gun went off again and all of Mally’s fight froze.

Jolie panted, staring down at her. A coldness drowned her, and she struggled to understand. But there was no mistake as Mally collapsed and blood poured from her stomach. “Oh, God,” she whimpered. Jolie fell to her knees, pressing her hands against the wound, digging into the warm liquid. Mally gasped and whimpered, staring at the sky. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Jolie screamed, “Help! Help!” But as she pressed harder, begged harder, prayed harder, Mally’s breath got erratic, fast and frightening.

And then she breathed out and didn’t breathe again.

Jolie sat frozen, with her hands in a puddle of blood, watching, hoping life would spring back into Mally’s eyes, but after witnessing so many people dying, Jolie knew the inevitability of it. There was no revival. There was nothing but cold and dark death.

“Jolie?” her mother whispered, pressed against the wall, too terrified to move. “What did you do?”

Adrik’s shoes came into her peripheral. Jolie lifted her head to see him staring down at her. His hand was out, waiting, letting her decide. She could stay, face the judgment, live with the guilt, and let it destroy her from the inside out. Or she could go with him, ignore the pain, pretend it didn’t exist, and become part of the darkness.

Jolie took his hand.