35HarperThe Party
Harper
The Party
“OK,” said Mel, as Harper stuffed another waffle bite in her mouth, “the pictures everyone sent in are now on a loop, and the music’s on Ash’s special playlist. Harper…” Mel scrutinized Harper. “Are you OK?”
“I’m nervous,” muttered Harper around the waffle.
Ash had refused to let her go back to her apartment after the police had left.
He’d called Rowan, and the next thing she knew, all her belongings were in his condo.
So far, living with Ash was better than anywhere else she’d ever been, but she was now faced with the prospect of being a hostess, and she was terrified.
Romeo entered the room and viciously Febreze’d a throw pillow.
“The pillows smell fine, Romeo,” said Mel.
“Febreze makes me feel in control,” he gasped as if he’d been holding his breath. “Everyone is coming. Like all the RSVP’s came back yes, and now if the party isn’t cool, they will all be looking at me!”
Harper swallowed her waffle. “Are we all having social anxiety about all the Valkyries coming?” she asked.
“Oh,” said Mel, “it’s not just me. I really like Teddy and some of the guys from Valkyrie Security, but I’ve never met anyone from Valkyrie Development. What if they’re really… you know… construction-y.”
“You mean, what if they’re full MAGA?” supplied Romeo.
“Yeah,” said Mel. “That is what I mean.”
“I met Forest’s girlfriend,” said Harper. “She was nice. She had blue hair.”
“Oh,” said Romeo, heaving a deep breath. “That’s a good sign.”
“And Ash’s mom is lovely. And Piper said she’d be here soon. So we’ll have people, you know, like us.”
Romeo and Mel exchanged looks.
“Harper, honey, I love you, but you’re wearing Chanel,” said Romeo. “And I’m wearing Target. We are not the same.”
“It’s protective camouflage,” said Ash, coming into the room. “She just does that so the Emmas of the world won’t know she’s weird like us.”
“It’s true,” said Harper earnestly.
Mel chuckled. “Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone.”
The doorbell rang, and everyone jumped. Ash opened the door, and Rose came in carrying a fruit basket. “I brought fruit,” she wailed. “You said don’t bring anything, but I panicked and brought fruit!”
“Oh,” said Romeo. “We’re going to be fine, aren’t we?”
“Mom, it’s fine,” said Ash, taking the fruit basket.
“Hey, Rose,” said Harper, coming forward.
“Harper! Oh, I’m so glad you’re here! I brought fruit.”
“We like fruit,” said Harper as Rose hugged her.
“Unca Ash!” The bellow was full-sized, although the speaker obviously wasn’t. Olly sprinted in through the open door. He was heading for Ash and then saw Rose. “Gramma lady!”
He dove for Rose, and she caught him with a happy giggle.
“Olly, Olly, Olly, slow down!” A dark-haired man, who Harper assumed was Olly’s father, ran in, trailed by the blue-haired Chloe.
“I’ve got him,” said Rose, bouncing Olly happily on her hip.
“Here, Mom,” said Forest. “I’ll take him. Just let me get out of my coat.”
“Rose has him,” said Chloe. “There’s no rush. Harper! You’re here. Great. You can see Olly when he’s not tackling people.”
Harper laughed. “He’s cute even when he is tackling me.” She waved at Olly, who was more interested in Rose’s necklace.
“Oh, jeez,” said Forest, handing over his coat to Ash. “When did he tackle you? Why was he tackling strangers?”
“He was tackling me,” said Ash. “Harper was collateral damage.”
“Sorry,” said Forest, looking embarrassed. “Hi, I’m Forest. You must be Harper.”
“Hi,” said Harper, shaking his hand. “I’m really interested in hearing about the tunnel project.”
“Uh… really? Ash always says I talk too much about boring machines.”
“No! I just read an article on the seismic stress of… did you mean boring like uninteresting or like drilling?”
“I think Ash means it like uninteresting, but I’m generally talking about drilling.”
“No one considered that it could be both?” asked Ash, and Chloe laughed.
“Oh, ha ha,” said Forest. “Harper, give me a few minutes to get Olly settled, and I will talk about the boring machines, and Ash can suck it.” He looked around and realized his son was nowhere in sight. “Where did Olly go?”
“Rose took him to get a cookie,” said Chloe.
“He’s going to be high on sugar all night,” said Forest. “Ash, where did you get that coffee table? It’s awesome.” He headed after Olly, and Ash gave Harper a wink. Harper’s coffee table was the first thing they had moved in after her clothes.
“Hello,” said Piper, peering through the open door.
“Piper!” said Harper. “Ash, this is Piper!”
“It’s good to meet you in person,” said Ash, grinning.
“You look great,” said Harper.
“Well, it is the outfit you picked out for me,” said Piper, her eyes twinkling.
“Do your shoes say Attack of Gayzilla ?” demanded Ash, and Harper giggled. “Those are awesome. Where did you find those?”
“They’re an artist that Harper found,” said Piper, twisting her foot to show off the custom-painted Doc Martens with the rainbow-spewing Godzilla monster.
“She said I would always feel confident if I wore things I loved. And you know what? I think you’re right.
I feel like I could stomp on anything in these boots. ”
“Well, stomp on over to the bar, but look out for my nephew, the Olly-monster, because he will love those, and he’s also a tackler.”
“Sounds like my people,” said Piper, handing over her coat and doing as she was told.
There was a steady trickle of people, including the Valkyrie security team, Colin Kwayana, and Tommy and his partner, who immediately went to coo over Olly, who was still playing with Rose. And then, Rowan and Vivian finally arrived, looking flushed and harried.
“Sorry we’re late, Ash,” said Vivian. “We got stuck.”
“In traffic,” Rowan added. Harper glanced at Ash to see if he was buying that.
“That’s Seattle for you,” Ash replied, glancing over his shoulder to where Forest was hovering over Rose. “Mark and the guys already got here.”
“Hi,” said the girl, holding out her hand to Harper. “I’m Vivian.”
Vivian was an auburn-haired twenty-something and dressed in a sequined top that Harper thought was very flattering.
“Ash and Rowan said you got kidnapped,” said Vivian.
“Yes,” said Harper, nodding. “By Ash’s ex-girlfriend. Which turned out to be a good thing because I had just punched my ex- boyfriend. And apparently, it’s very hard to get sympathy from the police or prosecutor if the person you want to press charges against gets kidnapped.”
“Well, I had not thought about that as a legal defense, but I definitely see your point,” said Vivian.
“And I did un-kidnap myself,” said Harper, realizing that possibly Rowan was giving her an odd look. “And Ash came to rescue me. He punched some people, too, and drove a boat.”
“I love it when they do things like that,” said Vivian, nodding. “They look so handsome.”
“Yes!” exclaimed Harper, relieved that Vivian was so understanding. “He really did.” She glanced at Ash and saw him exchanging a mysterious look with his brother.
“I do my best,” said Ash. He checked the hall and saw that it was empty. “OK, I think we can shut the door for a minute. Come on in.”
Harper circulated with Ash and was relieved to see everyone was getting along. She finally found Piper inspecting Ash’s art on her way out of the bathroom.
“You were right,” said Piper, looking up. “I was nervous about this outfit, but I love it. It’s like gay girl glam but also comfortable.”
“Good,” said Harper. “I tried to do pieces you would like and also showed off your legs.”
Piper chuckled and then stopped to lean and peer around Harper. “Oooh,” said Piper, grabbing Harper’s arm. “Who is that?”
Harper turned to look at where Piper was subtly trying to point.
“Oh, that’s Mel! Mel is great. They,” Harper used the pronoun pointedly, hoping Piper would get the hint, “are Ash’s IT person.
He keeps calling them his IT guy. Which confused me.
Apparently, they think guys is non-gender specific.
They also all call Bob a girl. I recognize that gender is a construct, particularly in this instance, but I was still confused. ”
“Who’s Bob?”
“The office bamboo plant.”
“I can see why you were confused.”
“Mel isn’t confusing, though. I like Mel. They have eighty gallons of water stored in their basement and dry goods and are installing solar panels next spring.”
“Ooh,” said Piper, dutifully impressed by Mel’s emergency preparedness.
“Also, they have a crossbow-shaped dice roller. I didn’t know such a thing existed, and I’m not entirely sure what it’s used for, but now I kind of want one.”
“Dungeons & Dragons,” said Piper, knowledgably. “And that’s hot.”
“I could introduce you,” said Harper hopefully, as if that wasn’t the entire plan.
“Um... I mean... I wouldn’t say no.”
Harper drug Piper across the room. “Mel! This is my friend, Piper. She’s an engineer. She likes Dungeons & Dragons, rocks, and non-binary and she-her people.”
“I may need to make an exception for Harper,” said Piper, glaring at Harper.
Mel chuckled. “Ash says she punched Emma, and Emma always used to misgender me, so... you know, I make an exception for her too.”
Piper turned to Harper. “You didn’t say you punched her.”
“That’s because I didn’t. I hit her with a Hydro Flask. I punched her sister, though.”
Piper unexpectedly hugged her, making Harper stiffen at the sudden contact, but then she relaxed and smiled. Unlike hugs from her family, Piper’s hug seemed full of actual affection.
The door to the balcony slammed open, startling everyone.
“I got it!” yelled Teddy over the party. Teddy seemed like one of the popular boys from high school, and Harper wasn’t sure what to think of him, although he’d been very polite and professional during the kidnapping aftermath.
“Tech-they!” he bellowed, pointing at Mel as he wove through the press of people. “I need your wisdom!”
“Fight-bro! Whatchyuneed?” Mel yelled back.
“I got Ash’s footage!” he crowed. “I need to figure out how to get it on the TV.”
“What footage?” asked Ash as the party quieted down.
“The police footage! From your thing with the cops and being undercover! I may have talked to a few people while you were making your statements.” He grinned fiendishly.
“Oh, this should be good,” said Rowan. Harper liked Ash’s older brother, but she was nervous about what a security professional would say about their adventure.
“They have footage?” asked Ash, looking horrified.
“Well, you were undercover,” said Chloe. “They try to make sure you’re covered with as much surveillance as possible. At least, that’s what they did for me.”
Teddy paused partway through the crowd.
“That means I could probably get Forest’s footage, too,” Teddy said thoughtfully.
“Nope,” said Forest loudly. “Definitely not.”
“We’ll talk later,” said Rowan with a laugh.
“This way,” said Mel, heading for Ash’s big screen, which was currently showing the holiday pictures everyone had been asked to send in ahead of the party.
“I don’t know,” said Ash, grimacing at Harper.
“I want to see it,” said Rose.
“Well, it’s just... I didn’t do that much,” said Ash. “I mean, it’s probably just me talking to Mason or something.”
“He said he sent me the good stuff!” Teddy called over his shoulder. Mel had found a laptop and had it plugged into the TV already.
“There’s good stuff?” asked Forest, turning to Harper. He carried Olly in one arm and had a handful of cookies in the other. Olly was trying to get to the cookies and, judging from the icing on his face, had already succeeded at least once.
“I don’t know,” said Harper. “I was on a boat.”
Mel switched inputs, shutting down the Christmas photos, and a jostling video started.
It looked as if someone was running. The video settled down, and Harper recognized the pier at Bell Harbor.
Two men were standing at the end of the dock.
As the person holding the camera got closer, she realized it was Mason and Ash.
“Oh!” exclaimed Harper as Ash punched Mason in the face. Mason attempted to come in for a tackle, but Ash punched him again, and then he began to run toward the swaying gangplank at the end of the dock.
The footage switched to a higher angle, and Harper thought they must have had a drone on site.
Two large men were running to meet Ash from the small speed boat in the water, but Ash didn’t stop. Instead, there was a flurry of kicks and punches that Harper couldn’t follow, and then Ash jumped off the dock into the speedboat. In the video, there was more running and shouting from the police.
“Oh,” said Harper. “That’s when you came to get me. Thanks.”
“Uh...” said Forest, and Olly snatched a cookie from his hand.
“Unca Ash kick!” said Olly.
“Yeah!” exclaimed Chloe, taking the cookie away from Olly. “Wasn’t that a great spinning sidekick? Ash, your instructor will be so proud! You implemented your training perfectly. Teddy, play it again. I don’t think I caught everything. Can we make it do slo-mo?”
“What training?” asked Rowan.
“Yeah, what training?” Forest echoed.
“In karate,” said Harper.
They both looked at her as if she’d grown a second head.
“He’s a red belt,” said Rose, and they both pivoted to look at their mother. “He’s very good.”
“I’m sorry, everyone,” said Rowan. “The Valkyrie brothers need a minute on the balcony. Please watch my baby brother beat up some Russian spies a few more times. Teddy, I’m going to need that on DVD. We’ll be right back. You two, with me.”
Rowan gestured sharply, and Forest handed Olly over to Chloe.
“Be right back,” muttered Ash.
“Baby...” said Rose, flapping her hands, and Harper wasn’t sure which baby she was referring to. But the balcony door closed without any of them responding to their mother. Rose looked nervously at Harper. “I shouldn’t have said that about karate. He’s always so private.”
“It’s fine,” said Vivian. “This is a great chance for them to talk.”
“Their relationship is based on love and respect,” said Chloe. “But it’s time they moved toward more openness.”
“Ash is worried they’ll make fun of him,” said Harper.
“They wouldn’t,” said Vivian, looking surprised.
“I think he’s been stuck in an old pattern,” said Harper.
“No,” said Rose, looking immeasurably sad. “He’s stuck in my old pattern.”