Chapter 27
“Daiyu! How have you been? It’s truly been too long.” Jia’s bubbly, upbeat voice was a stark contrast to Daiyu’s darker, more sinister and suspicious thoughts as she embraced the noble lady in her sitting area at her home. Jia smelled like an amalgamation of floral scents, none of which Daiyu could pinpoint, while her sitting room reeked of aloe and clove incense. When she pulled back from the embrace, her brown eyes were alight with true concern.
“I was so worried when I heard you were taken from the palace,” she said, ushering her over to the array of couches splayed across the expensive crane-embroidered rug. Hot tea was already waiting for them at the tea table, and there was another woman sitting on the wooden framed couch. “This here is Lady Eu-Meh. Lady Eu-Meh, this is Yin Daiyu, the one His Majesty chose during the royal selection.”
Lady Eu-Meh smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “A pleasure to finally meet the infamous farm girl! We were all so worried when we heard what happened to you. I’m sure it must have been absolutely terrifying.”
Daiyu’s own smile was fake as she sat down next to the young woman. When Nikator had arranged for her to meet Jia at her home, she had thought she would be alone with the cheerful lady, but maybe it was better this way—more women meant more gossip, and the more likelihood that someone knew something.
Jia eased herself into the seat across from them and picked up her porcelain, butterfly painted teacup from the table, her dark brows pulling together in worry. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. How horrifying.” The red painted lotus between her brows creased. “How did you manage to escape?”
“How did His Majesty react? Does he know?” Lady Eu-Meh interrupted.
Daiyu picked up her own teacup, her fingers warming instantly. “It’s a long story, but I’m well.”
Lady Eu-Meh leaned forward expectantly. “But does he know?”
“Does he know what?” Daiyu looked between Lady Eu-Meh and Jia, both of whom were staring at her as if waiting for something. It took her a second to realize what they were inquiring about: did Muyang know she was here after what had happened?
Of course they would be curious to see if he would even want her after she was abused by a rough group of men. Her face flushed with embarrassment and she hated the way they were searching her expression for answers.
“His Majesty is the one who sent me back here,” she finally managed to sputter, bringing the warm tea to her mouth. She nearly scalded her tongue, but she didn’t notice or care. “He took care of me while I was in the fortress and, quite frankly, I’d rather not talk about my experience.”
“Oh, oh.” Jia’s polite grin was back in place, although her cheeks reddened as if she realized how rude they were being.
“But.” Daiyu lowered her teacup on her lap, her insides knotting together as she looked between the two women. She wanted nothing more than to leave this place and not talk to either of them, but she needed to probe the issue and figure out more, and since they were already on the topic, it was probably wise to remain there for a bit longer. “I do wonder why I was kidnapped. I’m not married to the emperor yet and so what worth is there in abducting me?”
“Maybe someone is jealous?” Jia raised her brows and sipped her tea. “You never know. It did cause a bit of a stir when you were chosen. Lots of jealous people out there.”
“Oh, yes, I’m sure that might play into it.” Lady Eu-Meh bobbed her head, her tone dropping an octave. “And there were so many noble families who were offended that the emperor chose a commoner over their daughters. I’m sure that played a part into it.”
“So you both think it might have been a noble family?” Daiyu asked, trying to keep her tone as innocent and flippant as possible.
“Oh, heavens, you didn’t hear that from me.” Lady Eu-Meh laughed and reclined into her seat. “But I do agree that it’s a bit suspicious why you were abducted when you don’t mean anything to the emperor. Wouldn’t it have made sense to do that after you were married to him? Or after he had taken you to his bed?”
“Huh, I didn’t really think about that.” Jia frowned. “I thought the rebels just wanted to insult His Majesty by stealing his bride. I don’t think … Well, at least that’s what I think. Fang didn’t mention anything else to me either.”
“I said it was suspicious, but I highly doubt a noble family would do such a thing,” Lady Eu-Meh said with a dismissive wave, the gold bands around her wrist jangling with the movement. “It makes more sense that the rebels did that to offend His Majesty. Although many noble families were slighted at the fact that he chose a farm girl, I don’t think that means someone would want to abduct her. Especially since we know His Majesty will choose many others. I mean, have you heard the rumors of how many women have visited his bedchambers? Why go through so much trouble for one small girl?” She smiled thinly at Daiyu, leaned forward, and patted her on the hand. “I mean that with all the love in the world, Daiyu. You have nothing to fear!”
Daiyu returned her smile with an uneasy one, her mind spinning at this new piece of information. Muyang took many women into his bedchambers? She hadn’t heard that one before, but she shouldn’t have been too surprised—nobles likely knew more and gossiped more, since they were more entwined with his court. But still, she couldn’t deny the sharp pang in her chest that made it hard to breathe.
“Ah, so he’s been with multiple women?” She slurped the herbal tea and barely tasted the citrus undertones or the sharp mint. “I thought I was the first he chose as his bride.”
“Oh, you are,” Jia began.
“But he’s been with several. Just”—Lady Eu-Meh lifted her shoulders—“unofficially.”
Her pointed grin seemed to dig the point deeper into Daiyu, as if to say: you’re not that special, girl.
Daiyu knew that. She was always going to be one of many when it concerned the emperor, but she didn’t expect it to sting this much. And it bothered her how much she was actually troubled by the fact that she wasn’t special and that he had been with many women before her. She was replaceable—he had told her that much—so why was she so hurt by the obvious truth? Even after he married her, he would marry many others. She knew that.
“Oh, remember that one girl he was with a few months ago? What was her name?” Lady Eu-Meh tapped her chin thoughtfully, her full lips twisting into a frown. There was something cruel about the glint in her eyes that Daiyu didn’t like—as if she was ready to pull the rug from beneath someone’s feet. “The one from the Wu family, was it? We all thought His Majesty would choose her, didn’t we? But what ended up happening to her?”
Jia blinked back, her gaze flicking between the two women. She fidgeted with her teacup. “Oh. Right, I forgot about her.”
“Wasn’t she sent away a few weeks before the current royal selection?”
“I don’t remember, but she was hastily married off once the emperor”—Jia shrugged sheepishly and stared down at her tea—“was done with her, I suppose, for lack of a better phrase.”
Lady Eu-Meh bobbed her head, the heavy gold hairpieces intertwined in her hair bobbling. “Yes, yes. I didn’t have the chance to attend the wedding since it was on such short notice and I was visiting family down south, but I was shocked when I returned to find out she was already married off.”
Daiyu drank her tea quickly. Her chest felt tight, like someone had pulled a bowstring too taut. Like her ribs were being jammed together, squeezing her innards and making it harder to breathe. Of course Muyang had been involved with other women. She had assumed as much when she saw his wickedly beautiful face—someone like that wouldn’t be alone for long. And even she had her own romance before—with Heng. But for some reason, there was a prickle in her throat that made swallowing hard. That made breathing feel like she had sandpaper rubbing between her lungs.
She didn’t like the idea of Muyang having multiple lovers and discarding them like they didn’t matter because ultimately, that was who she would become, wouldn’t she? One of the many women who would be gossiped about, just like this.
“I bet His Majesty will choose you to light the first lantern in the Autumn Festival,” Jia said with an enthusiastic smile. She sipped her tea quietly. “Don’t you think, Lady Eu-Meh? I can’t remember who did it last year … was it Lord Sun’s daughter?”
Daiyu had heard about the lantern lighting during the Autumn Festival, where the emperor’s most favored woman, or a very important woman in society or in court, was chosen to light and launch the first lantern. It was usually an honor reserved for someone of high class and many women sought out to be the one to do it. Daiyu had no idea if Muyang would choose her and she hadn’t honestly given it much thought.
“Oh, maybe?” Lady Eu-Meh shrugged. “It’s quite possible. He did choose you for the royal selection, so maybe he’ll do it again for the lantern lighting? But then again, I would think he would choose the daughter of his trusted allies first over you … But I really don’t know what His Majesty is thinking.”
“I’m excited about the festival,” Jia said. “And if it means anything, I think he’ll choose you. It only makes sense.”
“Right …” Daiyu could only smile and nod.
“It’s such an honor to do it.”
There was a pregnant pause and they all fell silent for a moment too long.
“Anyway, it was so very cunning of you to send all the women away from the Lotus wing,” Lady Eu-Meh said with another slick grin. This time, she winked at her as if they were conspiratorially sharing a secret. “I didn’t think you would have it in you to ask such a thing from His Majesty, and even more so for him to oblige!”
“Many women were upset by that,” Jia said with an enthusiastic nod. “I was pretty shocked too.”
Daiyu tightened her hold on her empty teacup. “Ah, well, I figured it would be?—”
“Good to cut off the competition?” Lady Eu-Meh winked again and chuckled. “I completely agree. I wonder how many enemies you made from that move?”
Clearing her throat, Daiyu smiled again, her cheeks stretching uncomfortably. “I feel as though I would make enemies regardless of whether I sent the women away or not.”
“That’s true. Many people probably feel threatened that you’ve enchanted the emperor,” Jia said with a warm smile. “You’re the first he’s chosen, so I’m sure that means something!”
If that was supposed to make her feel better—it didn’t. Instead, it only made her feel like she was inching closer to her expiration date. Muyang would realize soon enough that she wasn’t any different than other women. There was nothing spectacular about her. She wasn’t charming in any fascinating way. She didn’t have experience in the bedroom, nor with romance in general. She didn’t have much of anything that stood out. And the sooner her charm vanished, she would be cast aside like Lady Wu, or the plethora of other women who had ultimately disappointed him.
I’m only doing this for my family. Her hold on the teacup fastened even more, to the point she was afraid she would crack the fragile porcelain object. Love was never a part of this equation, but even as she told herself that, it was becoming harder to breathe. Harder to think.
“I wonder if it would be wise to tell His Majesty that I think someone might be after me?” She tried to rein back into the original reason she was even here with these women. She tried to smile, but she wasn’t even sure if she was doing it right. Not with the way they both were looking at her—like she was a pitiful fool. “I suspect a jealous noblewoman might be?—”
“Oh, heavens.” Lady Eu-Meh burst into shrill laughter, covering her mouth with her jeweled hand. Her eyes crinkled with laughter and she thumped the armrest of the couch as if Daiyu had cracked the funniest joke in the world.
A tingling flush crept up Daiyu’s face and ears. Every nerve in her body warred with the instinct to either run or spit back with fire. She replayed her words, wondering what she had said that was so funny, and resisted the urge to snap at the woman.
“Forgive me.” Lady Eu-Meh’s chest continued to shake and she wiped the corner of her eyes. “I just—” Another chuckle. “I just can’t believe you think His Majesty is supposed to help you with this? What is he supposed to do? Make you feel better? Pat your head and say it’ll be okay?” She giggled again and shook her head. “Oh, heavens. Dear girl, I can see that you’re truly not from here.”
She licked her lips, feeling their judgmental eyes on her. At least Jia had the decency to look embarrassed on her behalf.
“If all the emperors throughout history had to deal with the courtly affairs of their women, this empire would have burst into flames long, long ago.” Lady Eu-Meh smiled thinly at her, and Daiyu’s toes curled inward. “His Majesty doesn’t have time for that and he certainly wouldn’t care about what you’re going through unless it involves bedding him. If you truly do believe you’re being targeted—which, once again, all women involved with royalty have to go through with one another—then it’s best to deal with it yourself. Has no one taught you anything about court politics and your place in them?” She reached into the folds of her sleeves and yanked out a silk fan. She whipped it open, and the sprawling design of a red-scaled dragon appeared in the center as she fanned herself. “Goodness, you’ve given me quite the laugh, Yin Daiyu.”
If the ground could open up and swallow Daiyu whole, she would have preferred that than to have to continue sitting here, pretending to be jolly with these two women. She placed her teacup onto the tea table and couldn’t muster up a smile, not with her face feeling like it was made of fire.
She felt so small in that moment. Wearing fancy dresses, shiny jewelry, and silk shoes didn’t make her one of them. She would never be like a glittering, beautiful noble lady with poise and knowledge about courtly affairs. She was just … Daiyu. Daughter of a humble farmer. Whose only skills were in gardening, harvesting rice, scrubbing pots, and sewing patches into her clothes.
Daiyu traced the drying, red smudge her lips had left on the rim of the teacup, her thoughts traveling to escape routes. For a moment, she wanted to flee from it all—from these two women, from His Majesty, from the empire … But then she reminded herself why she had chosen to plunge into the uncomfortably cold, thorny palace. She couldn’t let these women and their gossip get to her, and she needed to get used to being spoken down to like this. Like she didn’t matter, like she was too stupid to understand what they were saying.
Placing her teacup on the table, she fixed a pleasant, albeit na?ve, smile in her place as she looked at the two women. “Since we’re on the topic of courtly affairs, I’d love to hear about the latest scandal with … what was her name, Lady Wu?”
If she was going to survive in this unfamiliar place, she needed to learn everything she could. And gossip seemed to be the easiest place to start with, especially with these courtly, noble ladies, who turned out to be more like a den of vipers than anything noble.
Lady Eu-Meh flicked her fan shut, her calculating, laughter-filled eyes glittering with mischief. “What would you like to know?”