Encryption of the Heart (Love, Tech, & Magic #1)

Chapter Twenty-Five

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Olline stayed locked up in her apartment, unable to sleep. Each time she tried to close her eyes, Olline saw Casimir's slow, unguarded smiles and her heart would fissure and crack apart anew. Tossing and turning, she gave up once the early morning crept around. With a shuddering breath that tugged at her frayed emotions, Olline decided she might as well make herself useful instead of drowning in the events of the night before.

She pulled out her holo-tablet and connected it to the laptop on the table. “Last time I take Dad’s advice about stupid, gorgeous men being worth their baggage,” she grumbled, angrily swiping a stray tear from her cheek. “At least he’ll be happy with me coming home.”

Olline hadn’t planned on moving back to Cyneburg. Ever. But she didn’t see an alternative now. Once Etzel wasn’t a problem, her contract would be voided, and Olline didn’t want to start over in Antal, not when the pieces she had seen of it held too much of Casimir’s touch on them. Her plants rustled around her, their leaves shaking in reproach, as if to say: your father would rather see you happy far from home, then miserable back in Cyneburg.

She sneered at the foliage. “Hush. You don’t know this wasn’t Dad’s hope all along. For me to put myself out there just to get hurt and come crawling back home.”

It was easier to blame her father than Casimir. But no, that was wrong, wasn’t it? Her father did truly want the best for her, even if he was bad at showing it sometimes. Casimir, he . . . he just wanted to make sure she liked him enough to go along with his plan for revenge. That sharp, icy pain in her chest was fucking Casimir’s fault, and his fault alone.

“Well,” she said, glancing at her vines and trying to sound more confident than she felt, “I rebuilt my life once. I can do it again.” She sighed, looking mournfully at the home she had built for herself. All she could see now were the echoes of Casimir gently rearranging the succulents tucked around her kitchen island. The view she was once so dazzled by seemed muted now that he wasn’t there to bask in the sunlight. Even her ferns and giant monstera plants appeared listless now that they weren’t arching toward Casimir as he prowled her living room. With a shake of her head, she looked at the computers in front of her. “Focus, Olline. You’re not out of this yet.”

Casimir now had the freedom to do whatever he wanted, but the others, such as Bode, remained trapped. If nothing else came from Casimir’s deception, at least Olline knew he wasn’t lying about the control chips and what it made the others like him do. Casimir may not be interested in helping anyone but himself, but that wasn’t her style. It didn’t matter that they would never know what she had done for them. That wasn’t the point, it was simply the right thing to do.

No one should have that kind of power over another person. Ever. And with Etzel’s conference wrapping up that afternoon, Olline had precious little time to secure Bode and the other thralls’ freedom while Delora worked on all the lawsuits.

There was a mountain of work waiting for her, but her thoughts were spiraling and the ferns and vines clustered around the room had already cast judgment on her situation and therefore could not be trusted. There was only one answer now for her situation: time to chat with her family while she worked. But her finger hesitated over her scant contact list. True, her father and Lochan knew about Casimir already, knew her complicated feelings around him, but they were too sentimental—no, too romantic . An industrial sized shredder had torn her heart apart, reducing it to a pulpy fertilizer. Olline didn’t want understanding, or even pity. She wanted to rage and fight—metaphorically speaking.

Which meant she could talk to only one person: her oldest brother, Darrin.

Darrin didn’t answer the first time, allowing Olline to code the killware for the remaining control chips and setting it up so that, once she handed the data packet over to Delora, all the Under Senator would have to do was hit “enter” and all the people Etzel had infected would be free. By the time she had finished, Darrin finally returned her holo-call request.

“Olline,” Darrin answered, wiping his face with a towel. She must have caught him after a workout. His skin, a dusky bronze tone, was flushed and dewy, which made his grey-blue eyes, the same shade as their father’s, pop all the more. For a seerani, Darrin looked more obviously like their father than Lochan did. Except for the short, twisting indigo horns that poked out of the top of his fluffy, dark teal hair. But Darrin and her father had identical solemn expressions, though her father had earned his with loss, and Darrin was born with a bit of a stick up his ass.

“Darrin,” she responded in kind while putting a similar killware program in the blackmail files Etzel had on his thralls, and had them gather. “Are you busy? Because if not, I’d love it if you came to Antal so you could kick someone’s ass for me.”

To his credit, Darrin merely blinked back at her. His lips didn’t even twitch in humor or surprise. He ran the towel over the top of his damp hair, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled deeply. “Right then,” his tone resigned, as if Olline often called him requesting he pummel someone—she did not. “What’s happened that’d require me to come down there and protect you?” She shook her head. “Okay, beat someone up for fun on your behalf. Details, Olline. If you want me to put in a PTO request for this.”

Bless Darrin and his machismo sometimes.

“Hypothetically speaking, let’s say there’s this guy that tried to use me to gain access to some pretty powerful biomagitech chips—”

“Did he succeed?” Darrin interrupted.

“Well, no,” she began hesitantly. “He came clean about it. But only after I confronted him. He was . . . in a complicated position,” Olline reluctantly admitted. “But he still hid the truth from me longer than he should have and I—”

“Caught feelings for him,” Darrin interrupted again. This was the problem with talking to a hyper-sonic plane mechanic. Darrin wanted to diagnosis the problem and fix it fast . Olline never remembered her father being this way when he had been the lead mechanic at Darrin’s company, but Zachery had retired while Olline was fairly young.

Glaring at her brother, Olline needed a moment to remind herself why she called Darrin and not Lochan. “Yes, fine, I caught feelings.” Olline rolled her eyes, hoping that would hide the tears prickling in the corners that blurred her vision. “That’s not the point, Darrin. He lied and hurt me. Like Achan.” Saying her not-quite-ex’s name had the desired effect. Darrin’s lean face hardened as he clenched his jaw, his body tensing. “So, will you come down here and beat him up now? Lochan keeps reminding me the white-knight business is your deal, not his.” Olline didn’t really want Darrin to beat Casimir up. But it would be nice if someone was willing to protect her heart, and out of all her remaining family, she hoped Darrin would be that one.

Darrin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sure, Olline. But can I ask you something first?”

She narrowed her eyes, suspicious. Quickly finishing the code she was working on, Olline nodded, already dreading where this was going.

“This guy in your hypothetical scenario, did he want this powerful biomagitech to help him get out of this complicated situation you’re alluding to?”

A shudder raced down her spine, and she nodded again. “Kind of. He claims it’s ensuring his safety, but power like that . . . it corrupts everyone eventually. Cas—this guy would become no better than the person he’s trying to escape from. I know it.”

Darrin’s eyes narrowed, and she got the distinct feeling he was seeing more in the holo-projection than she intended. Both her brothers had an uncanny ability to read her. It was annoying, especially in moments like these.

“You sure about that, Olline? And I mean one-hundred percent sure.”

Her heart twisted, her mind flashing through those moments where Casimir seemed so sincere, so vulnerable. Those sleepy half smiles that were so different, so open and honest compared to the coy little smirks. Olline tried to convince herself that the flirtatious version, the master manipulator, was the real Casimir. Not the vulnerable man too scared to have anything for himself, too worried for anyone to even see his authentic smile.

“Nothing is a hundred percent like that,” she grumbled. This conversation was taking an unexpected turn. Where was the brother who would gladly beat up all the bullies who teased her? Who had threatened Achan with castration when she came home crying after getting fired?

“Right,” Darrin agreed. “But you’re saying this guy hurt you like Achan?” He waited for her to nod before continuing, “Okay, but Achan was using you to launch his career. This guy sounds like he’s in a jam, probably suspicious of everyone, and then he met you .” Darrin’s lean face rounded slightly with the ghost of an affectionate smile. “Your . . . niceness was rare in a corporatocracy like Cyneburg. I’d bet it’s not that much different in Antal. It's hard to know if that friendliness is genuine. You should know how hard it is to trust again after being put in a complicated situation.”

She squinted her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and mumbled, “I trusted him, Darrin. I did nothing but prove I was trustworthy and he still . . .” She choked on her words. With a sharp shake of her head, she waited a beat before continuing, “I did the right thing saying goodbye. Nothing could’ve ever come from that . . . infatuation. Nothing good, anyway.” Olline blew out a shaky sigh, the air catching on her ragged, raw emotions. “So, will you take my side on this already? I should feel good that I got rid of him. It’s a good thing he’s gone. Hypothetically speaking.”

Her plants swayed again, as if shaking their leafy heads. She glared at them, then dropped her gaze to her work, not wanting to meet her brother’s eyes. Instead, she sent a quick message to Delora Peralta and set up the final meeting. Unfortunately, it was still nine days away, as Delora hadn’t finished getting all the legal documentation set up.

Darrin gave an exasperated sigh, rubbing at his forehead before smoothing his dark teal hair around his short indigo horns. “Can we stop with the hypothetical shit, Olline? It’s giving me a headache and I’ve work later that I’d rather not be pissed off for.”

Olline huffed, snapping her gaze back to her oldest half-brother. “Fine. Someone I worked with used my access to get what he wanted. Just like Achan .”

Darrin drummed his fingers around where he had his holo-projection set up. “I don’t know, Olline.” She balked and Darrin rolled his eyes, tossing his towel off to the side and out of view. “Achan had a lot of red flags from the start. But you liked him, so I kept my mouth shut. So far, from what you’ve told me, this guy had a reason—which doesn’t justify lying, I get that,” he added quickly before she could cut him off. “But you know what I’m saying. Look at what this guy did and said, and what Achan did, and then honestly tell me they’re the same. Because if you can, I’ll catch the first flight out in the morning, I promise.”

Her gaze drifted away, unable to look at her brother’s serious expression as she considered his words. Idly, she picked up the materials she had been manipulating for the hardware portion of her contract to give her hands something to do. The last time she had touched these metals was when Casimir observed her while she manipulated them with her magic. A sudden vision of Casimir telling her what a wonder her power was left her gasping with a sudden chill.

“Talk to me, Olline,” Darrin prompted gently. “That’s why you called me, right?”

“I think,” she began, only for her words to break against her emotional wounds. She swallowed the complicated feelings, the hurt and hope, and began again. “He did lie. He did manipulate my feelings. That’s a fact . But I think . . .” she paused, a sob threatening to crack her voice in half as she remembered how Casimir’s eyes widened to behold the world when he wasn’t worrying about being so guarded. She blew out a shaky breath and said, her voice soft, “I think he was only able to charm me because, well, because . . .”

When she trailed off, Darrin finished for her. “Because parts of what he did and said were real? Were genuine?”

Swallowing the whimper clawing at her throat, Olline nodded. There was no stopping the tears from escaping now. The one thing to have come from Achan deceiving her was that she could tell the difference between true and feigned interest in her and her work. Maybe she should send Achan a fruit basket in thanks.

Darrin’s expression remained mostly serious, but there was a softness in the corners of his eyes that made Olline feel safe to ugly-cry in front of him. Not that she would, but it was nice knowing she could. “Tell me more,” Darrin murmured. “What’s real about this guy when you compare him to Achan?”

Olline cradled the devices in her hand, imagining it was a holo-screen displaying every single interaction she ever had with Casimir, and put it side-by-side with her experience with Achan. Slowly she explained that each time she had tried to downplay her own accomplishments, Casimir had stopped her, reminded her of the minor miracle her power was with her creations. Achan had agreed with her self-deprecating comments, made her believe he was above her and she should feel lucky to be in his orbit. Achan had discouraged her hobbies as useless, no better than pretty baubles, and Casimir . . . Just recalling his face, the bald marvel he had when looking at all the thriving greenery, made her heart ache anew.

Darrin rubbed his chin as she spoke, listening intently. When she finally finished, her voice hoarse with the hurt she tried so desperately to smother, Darrin nodded. “Sounds like this new guy needed Olline . Achan had wanted your work for his own gain. You see the difference, right?”

Oh, she certainly did. And it was world altering.

Tears streaked down her cheeks, and she leaned back, her head resting on the couch cushions behind her. She stared at the ceiling, feeling broken inside. “His interest in my work and hobbies may have been real,” she conceded, “but nothing else was. He could’ve been honest with me, told me everything from the start, Darrin,” she said, voice brittle. “I would’ve,” a hiccupping sob interrupted her, and she bit her lip until she had better control. “I’d have rearranged the sky if it meant his freedom. But no. He’d been too broken to trust me or my intentions.”

Darrin narrowed his eyes at her. “That’s not his fault though,” his voice was gruff for the first time since their conversation began. “If what you’re implying about his situation is even half as bad or complicated as you’re alluding to, it’s not his fault he didn’t immediately trust you. Sounds like this guy has been seriously fucked up, Olline. Cut him some slack.”

Olline scoffed, “Typical guy defending his fellow man.” Darrin rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and she added in a quiet voice, “You sound like Lochan.”

“You take that back,” Darrin growled, but couldn’t look menacing with the humor twinkling in his eyes.

Olline sighed. An empty resignation had her retreat inward once again. “It doesn’t matter. Someone like me and a person like that? In no reality, does it make sense.” With a violent shove, she pushed all her hardware away from her, jostling her holo-projection and making Darrin’s face contort briefly with static. “I love magitech and using my magic to grow pretty plants. I love wearing bright colors and dancing alone to music made by real, breathing people. Cas—this guy is dangerous, mysterious, and so terribly beautiful it hurts to look at him sometimes. He flirts so casually that anyone would feel special in his presence, even if he doesn’t feel the same. Meanwhile, I,” her throat tightened, choking on emotion. She swallowed the heart-shaped lump down and said, voice throaty, “I don’t know how to love someone without it being with my whole heart and soul.”

“If all that were true, Olline, then why does saying goodbye to this guy have you asking me to kick his ass?” Darrin’s tone, despite his playful words, was gentler than she was used to hearing from her oldest brother. The last time he had taken such a tone with her, it had been shortly after her mother passed away.

She licked her lips, considering. “He still lied and used me.” She cut herself off before she mentioned Casimir had been sent to abduct her and didn’t think that was something she should know. Telling Darrin that would ensure he came racing to snatch her away himself before she could put an end to Etzel’s schemes. “He didn’t trust me to do the right thing. That’s why,” Olline said, trying not to pout.

“Yeah, he did do that.” Darrin shrugged, his tone matter-of-fact. “And that’s shitty, no doubt. If I ever meet this guy, I’ll rough him up a bit for that, cool?” He winked lazily at her. “But you’ve said he had a reason. He fucked up, sure, but it wasn’t malicious like Achan. I think, Olline,” he said, leveling her with a piercing stare so like their father’s that it had her shrinking back, “you’re more upset at how you reacted. And, if that’s the case, maybe you should talk to him again? Clear the air when you aren’t, you know,” he gestured vaguely at the holo-projection, “emotional.” The way he said it made the word sound like a dirty curse. Olline chuckled dryly, which allowed her to stifle her wallowing enough to consider her brother’s words.

Casimir stalked the shadows, reveling in the more debaucherous side of life. Olline thrived in the light, craving an emotional connection. Plain and simple.

And yet . . .

The one person Casimir had looked up to his entire life deeply betrayed him. She couldn’t fathom her brothers, whom she adored, doing to her what Kullen had done to Casimir and even surviving that initial treachery. He’d had his consent taken away for a century and found a way to endure that every single day. He was strong, a survivor, and his instincts were to make sure he used everything he had to seize his freedom when it was presented to him so unexpectedly.

“He opened up to me, and I slammed the door in his face for it.” Olline’s voice was little more than a pained whimper. Her plants didn’t even sway in remorse, their silence a heavy judgment in the air. Darrin, for his part, merely nodded. A slight, sympathetic smile twisted his lips.

At least Casimir has his files, she thought, trying to put a healing balm over her hurting soul. He can flee and start over, free of Etzel.

“I think you know what options you have here. And none of them includes me coming out there and pummeling some guy.”

Olline sighed again; her chest heavy with dejection. “Yeah, probably. But why don’t you make yourself useful and tell me what my options are, anyway?”

Darrin chuckled, the sound rough with disuse. “The way I see it, you can go back to this guy, forgive him for over relying on survival instincts around the one truly genuine person he’s ever met—”

“Even though he didn’t need to,” Olline interjected, her words harsh. “Even though it broke my heart and violated my trust.”

Darrin shrugged. “You said it yourself. He was doing what experience told him he had to in order to survive.”

Olline grumbled unintelligibly for a second. “What’s my other option?”

Darrin rolled his eyes. “You take a page out of my book. Let it all go. Forget he exists and focus on something else.”

There was plenty for Olline to focus on beyond what she and Casimir never really had. She could spend her time and energy focusing on covering her digital tracks so Etzel couldn’t discover what she had done, what she had given to Delora. Olline could take the time to clone and hide her killware in the Police and Securities Department so there could be no risk of anyone, including Casimir, creating backups of anything she discovered. She could spend this time ensuring that she was as safe as Casimir was now, because if she didn’t, who else would?

“Thanks, Darrin,” she mumbled, mind made up. “I think I know what I need to do.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. “Do I want to know what that is?”

She laughed humorlessly. “Probably not.”

Darrin stifled a sigh, bracing his thick arms on either side of the holo-projection device. “Fair enough. But, for what it’s worth, Olline. This guy really doesn’t sound like Achan. Do with that as you will. In the end, I know you’ll do the right thing.” She opened her mouth to argue, but Darrin spoke over her. “It’s in your nature to do the right thing. That’s just who you are. No use fighting it. I trust you to do that here.” Darrin glanced off to the side, frowning at something she couldn’t see. “I’m going to be late for work, but keep me posted? I need to know if I still need to fight someone on my baby sister’s behalf.”

Olline grinned faintly and rolled her eyes. “Jerk.”

“Love you too, Olline,” Darrin said with a slight smile, and disconnected the call.

Olline sat motionless on the floor for a minute before pulling her holo-keyboard toward her and scrubbed her digital footprint from every server she had flitted through, making sure Etzel Straub couldn’t find her. She rationalized Casimir was long gone from Antal by now, fleeing both Etzel and Kullen in one fell swoop.

It’s what she would have done in his place. She had done it before.

With a sigh, Olline forced Casimir from her mind with considerable effort, starting by deleting and blocking all his contact information. With that done, she hunched back over her rigs, her fingers flying over the keyboards, swiping through the screens, hunting for anything that could lead back to her. Like always, Olline was the picture of focus while she worked. And, for a moment, she wasn’t so lonely.