Endless Love: Novella (Elite Heirs of Manhattan #6)

9. Miles

9

MILES

I t was out there. I couldn’t take it back. And now that I’d said it, I knew it was true. What had been festering in me for days had been voiced.

Unfortunately, that meant giving Evan a mild heart attack from the looks of it. “What?” He jogged up the front steps, facing me with his mouth hanging open and his eyes bulging. “No. You don’t mean that.”

“I know what I mean. I can’t do it to her.”

“To her?” He had to whisper the way I did. There was no telling who might be inside and possibly able to hear. “She’s marrying you today because she wants to. What are you talking about, doing anything to her? You know Aria. She only does what she wants to.”

He didn’t get it, but then how could he? “You’re misunderstanding me,” I explained. “It isn’t that I don’t want to marry her. I can’t go through with it without her knowing about something I’ve kept from her. I told myself it could wait until after the wedding, but now I know I was wrong.”

“Okay. We can work with that.” He looked like somebody had his balls in a vice, no matter how supportive he tried to sound.

I knew the feeling too well since my balls had ached painfully in the weeks since Damian had made it known he intended to pursue a patent for the same technology Spencer and I were working to develop. Every day, the pressure had ratcheted up a little more. Now, it was a miracle I could walk.

He checked his watch, looking toward the cars parked in front of the house, managed by a valet. Thinking about the guests, I guessed. “What can we do?” he asked. “Do you need to talk to her?”

Fuck. All of the worries I had fought to suppress bubbled up to the surface with that one loaded question. Did I want to talk to her?

It was the only way. Ever since that conversation with Lucian and Ivy, there had been a hole growing in me, like an ulcer, but much larger and more painful. Guilt would do that to a person.

I hadn’t known this depth of guilt in two years. Not since I discovered everything I’d ever believed about Magnus and Evelyn had been a lie. That they weren’t the monsters my mother had portrayed them as. There were times when that terrible night came back to me in dreams—nightmares, really. The horror of realizing what I had done, the instant certainty that Aria would never forgive me for lying, seducing her, and working against her family. There had never been a more helpless, horrified moment in my life. Not even when I knew there was nothing I could do to keep my mother alive.

Now, I had to wonder if I could keep my relationship alive. What was worse, telling her now about what I had done or waiting for her heart to break when I eventually came clean?

I’d spent the last several days with my heart in my throat, always waiting for something terrible to happen. Something Damian put in motion. Obsessively checking to see if there was any mention of me online. Waiting for Aria’s normally loving, gentle smile to turn into something born of horror and disgust.

I should’ve told her sooner. Damn me for being a coward. For being afraid of losing her, of losing the one good thing that had ever come out of my otherwise pointless life. None of it meant anything without her.

I couldn’t look into that shining face of hers and recite my vows while knowing there was something so pivotal she was unaware of. “I’m not sure how we can do it.” I sighed, shrugging. “But yes, I should talk to her.”

He gave me a firm nod. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Five minutes later, I stepped into Barrett’s study, leaving the door open a few inches and standing behind it. Suddenly, we were in the middle of a sitcom, a bride and groom conversing from either side of a door so there wouldn’t be any accidental eye contact.

As strange and awkward as it was, there was something reassuring about it too. I might be able to get the story out easier and faster if it meant not having to watch pain and disbelief take root. I didn’t want to watch disappointment dim the light in her eyes.

“Here she is,” Colton announced, hidden by the door. “We’ll be waiting outside.” His footsteps faded away as a familiar hand snaked its way around the door, feeling for mine.

“You in there?” Aria’s soft laughter may as well have been a knife to my heart. She was nervous, of course, and confused.

“I’m here.” I took her hand, lacing our fingers together, clasping it tight.

“What’s happening? Why are we doing this? Please, don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.” Another soft laugh, this time tight with dread.

I hated knowing that was where her mind immediately went. “Not about you, love,” I told her, squeezing her hand. “Never about you. If you don’t believe anything else, believe that.”

“I appreciate it, but I hope you understand you’re not doing anything to make me feel better.” Her laughter was flat now like she didn’t have it in her to pretend. “What gives? We’ve got hundreds of people waiting out there, not to mention another couple who are waiting on us.”

My mouth went dry. I couldn’t find the words. What was I supposed to say? How to approach this delicately?

She must have taken my silence for something else because when she spoke again, her voice was ominously quiet. “Miles,” she whispered. “Tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. Just tell me and get it over with before I die of nervousness.”

“It’s about the patent… well, not really,” I amended. Already, I was fucking up. “There’s something out there about me. It will be public soon, and the person who spreads it is going to spin it to turn me into a villain and put my leadership in question. It’s all a matter of stealing the technology out from under us and claiming the patent for himself.”

“You couldn’t tell me about this before?” she asked. “I’m still lost.”

“It’s all about what’s going to come out in the press.” This was it. This was when I found out whether or not she truly meant it when she said we could get through anything. Not that I would blame her if she walked away. Certain things were insurmountable.

“Tell me. Don’t you trust me?” she whispered.

“With all of me. It’s just that… I want to make sure you trust me with you, and I’m afraid you won’t anymore. You see… there was an accident years ago. A bar fight, or it would’ve been if the other guy had managed to land a punch. He fell. It resulted in a traumatic brain injury. I was locked up in a juvenile facility for a year because of it. My record was cleared once I had the resources to get it done.”

“Oh.” That was all she said. It was more of a heavy breath than a word.

Now that I had started, I couldn’t stop. “I was charged because I lunged at him, but I never touched him. He was drunk. He lost his balance. He could’ve died,” I admitted. “But he didn’t. And as soon as I started making money, I took his care in my hands. I’ve paid for every cent of it since. The best money can buy.”

“But whoever spreads this story isn’t going to mention that part. Only that you supposedly almost killed somebody?”

“That’s it. I’ve been waiting for it,” I confessed. “Spencer has been running interference. He knows this guy, or at least knows of him. He’s seen what he’s capable of. Frankly, I’m stunned the story didn’t come out this weekend to coincide with the wedding.”

When too many heartbeats passed without a response, I gripped her hand tighter. “Please, I need you to understand. I wasn’t trying to hide this as much as I was keeping it to myself out of shame. I would’ve told you eventually. It’s the one thing I’m most ashamed of.”

“You said you didn’t touch him.”

“And I didn’t. I never had the chance. But if I hadn’t tried to start shit with him because of the chip on my shoulder, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. He was everything I wasn’t, wrapped up in a single person. Posh, surrounded by friends, confident, well-dressed. He symbolized everything I had missed out on. You know the way my mind worked back then.”

“I know,” she murmured, her thumb stroking mine. That one tiny gesture gave me hope. She wouldn’t touch me that way if she didn’t love me.

“He would be living a normal life now if I hadn’t decided to provoke him. No amount of money can make up for what he lost because of my stupidity.”

“You’ve done everything you could to make it right. And I know you’re sorry for it because I know your heart. I wouldn’t marry you if you were some heartless, cruel person. I love you.”

“Still?”

“Miles, nothing is going to change that. So get that out of your head here and now. I’m not going anywhere except down that aisle the way we planned.”

“You know, things could get messy in the press.”

“I don’t care about that beyond your stress. I know the truth. I know who you are.”

“You thought you knew who I was before I told you this. Maybe you don’t know me all that well.”

“I know why you did what you did. For all the reasons you described. I know what you went through. So no, it doesn’t surprise me to hear you tried to pick a fight with some rich kid in a bar when you were a teenager.”

Her voice softened, and her grip on my hand tightened as she continued, “It also doesn’t surprise me that you would pour money into his care. No, you can’t undo the past, but you’ve done everything you could to make it right. That’s exactly the kind of man I know you are. So I’m not surprised, and I’m not changing my mind about going through with this wedding if that’s what you’re most worried about.”

“I won’t pretend it’s not a concern,” I admitted.

“You have nothing to worry about. We’re getting married today,” she insisted. “And I’m going to be by your side no matter what happens. Got it?”

My chest was about to burst. I should’ve told her from the beginning. When would I learn to trust her? “I love you.” The words didn’t begin to cover the depth of my feelings. My gratitude.

“You’d damn well better because everybody’s out there waiting for us.” She gave my hand one more squeeze, giggling. “Now, I’m going to go hide by the back door while you go out through the front. Okay?”

“Okay.” Before she could run away, I pressed my lips to the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Just get your ass outside.” Then she was gone, leaving me smiling in relief. A massive weight had left my shoulders. It was enough to make me wonder how I had functioned before now, weighed down the way I was. There would still be trouble in the press—I wasn’t na?ve enough to think Lucian and Ivy could clean everything up all at once—but I had Aria’s love.

I wasted no time getting outside and rounding the house. Evan visibly relaxed when he spotted me from where he stood in front of the platform. When I reached him, he whispered, “Do me a favor and don’t ever fuck with me like that again. I kid you not when I say my life flashed before my eyes.”

“It won’t happen again,” I promised. Before I could express my apologies, the quartet began to play, and two hundred people turned in their seats to watch the girls walk down the aisle.

First came the matter of the flower girls. It sounded like Evan was having trouble breathing when Isabel began toddling our way, one hand wrapped around the handle of a small basket while Eloise held the other side. They wore matching dresses, white with full skirts, and both tossed rose petals in virtually all directions while guests chuckled and took videos.

“Daddy!’ Isabel was only a few feet away when she abandoned the basket and came running, arms outstretched, her soft brown curls bouncing. Evan bent down to hug her when Evelyn lured her away to sit with Lourde and Barrett.

The bridesmaids came next, wearing dresses in a shade of dusty rose. I had heard Aria mention the color more times than I could count while we were going over the wedding plans. Ivy was first, followed by Rose. Sienna was Maid of Honor, and I couldn’t help but notice the meaningful looks that she and Noah exchanged as she drew closer. They were probably imagining themselves as the bride and groom someday soon.

The music shifted, signaling the guests to stand for the brides. This was it. I couldn’t have imagined loving Aria more, but she had proven me wrong by hearing the most shameful memory of my life and loving me anyway. Now, I was about to marry her.

Guests gasped when the twins came into view with Magnus between them. I couldn’t draw enough air into my lungs to gasp. Aria literally took my breath away in a lace dress that hugged her body from the strapless neckline to the short train behind it. For the sake of a more classic look—her words—she had dyed her hair to a shade close to its natural brown. It was pulled back, showing off the dangling diamond earrings I’d bought her as a wedding gift. They didn’t sparkle half the way her smile did, even underneath a veil.

Valentina had gone with a different look, in a full-skirted dress sewn with pearls and crystals that sparkled whenever she moved. “Oh my God,” Evan whispered, sounding like somebody had kicked him in the stomach. I understood the feeling. My entire future was coming toward me, looking like an angel.

I stepped up to the platform’s edge a few feet from where Evan waited. Magnus came to a stop with the girls in front of us, turning to them and exchanging a few words, then taking a step backward. For a second, his face contorted like he was fighting back tears, but he managed to make it through while we led the girls up onto the platform and stopped in front of the officiant.

“You are exquisite,” I whispered to Aria after she’d handed her bouquet to Rose. “You look like a dream.”

Taking my hands in hers, her blue eyes sparkling with tears, she replied, “I think I’m the one who’s dreaming.”

“A happy dream, I hope?”

Her radiant smile floored me. “The happiest I ever had.”