Chapter 20
AFTER SCHOOL, Amy begged me to come to Babylon to catch up. After the party, she assured me that Garret had gotten her back to the dorm safely.
“So, what is up with you and the swim team captain?” Amy asks, narrowing her eyes playfully over the rim of her beer.
“I should ask you the same about Leo’s friend.”
She waves a dismissive hand and takes a sip. “Friends. He’s a player, and I’m not interested. I know the type,” she says, her voice dropping on the last part. I catch the shift in her tone but don’t push.
“There’s nothing going on,” I say, but even as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re a lie. Not when I think about how Garret made sure I ate breakfast this morning—and how much I liked it. Not when I replay the way he opened every door for me as if it were second nature. The way he kept checking in on me on the drive to school, asking if I was okay, again and again.
“Didn’t look that way to me at the party,” Amy quips. “He practically threw you over his shoulder caveman-style when he saw you with Leo.”
I shake my head. “He was just upset that I was avoiding him. His mom is married to the man who adopted me and… I’m also staying with him.”
Amy’s eyes go wide, her beer freezing mid-air. “You’re kidding?”
“I wish I was.”
Not many people know, but it was the only excuse I could give her. There’s no way I could tell her the real reason I’m staying with Garret. No way I could admit that we kissed. That he saved me from drowning in his pool. That I liked it. That I still have the bite marks to prove it.
“How is he when you’re alone?” she asks, lowering her voice. “I mean, he’s always the life of the party, but he also has this dangerous quality. You know, ‘don’t let the nice act fool you’ type of thing.”
She isn’t wrong. I thought I was the only one who noticed. But since that night at the party, Garret has me wrapped up in him. In his kindness. In the contradiction of him. And I can’t get enough.
But he hasn’t tried to kiss me again.
I thought it was guilt. Maybe regret.
I don’t know what I’m feeling, but I can’t ignore the way my body reacts when he’s close. The anticipation of his touch. The way his gaze lingers in a room full of people.
And just when I convince myself it’s all in my head, he does something that takes my breath away—like getting me a brand-new smartphone. Showing me all the features and how I could use it for my assignments. He didn’t expect anything in return, just said it was a gift. A simple gift to help me out.
For the first time, I saw kindness in the dark depths of his eyes. A kindness I don’t think he shows just anyone.
It felt like a rare gift—an eclipse of the moon.
I didn’t know what to say, just thanked him over and over. And he just stared at me, his gaze deep, like he was committing the moment to memory.
“Is that why I haven’t seen you in the dorms?” Amy asks.
I nod, wondering how many people had noticed. “Yeah. I don’t know how he convinced his mom and stepfather, but I guess they agreed.”
I leave out the part that he was ordered to take me in. That he didn’t have a choice. Not that it mattered. No one goes against the Order.
And I still don’t know if Garret’s behavior is out of obligation. Or pity.
The bar grows louder as more people filter in. The sharp crack of a pool stick against a ball pulls my attention. My chest tightens when I spot a group of guys from the swim team—including Luke. But Garret is nowhere to be found.
I check my phone, but there’s no text. Not that I expected one. He told me not to wait up for him after class.
“Do you know them?” Amy asks, catching me staring.
I snap out of it, shaking my head. “No.”
She raises a brow. “Aren’t they on the swim team with your boy?”
“He’s not my boy,” I say too quickly.
“He’s not your brother either,” she points out. “You’re not related by any means. You didn’t grow up together, right?”
“You sound like Garret. He says that all the time.”
Her grin turns knowing. “That means he likes you.”
I want to laugh at her assumption. Garret Nox might screw anything that moves, but liking me? That’s something I don’t think he’s capable of.
I nod, wondering how many people have noticed the same thing. How obvious is it?
“Yeah. I don’t know how he convinced his mom and stepfather, but I guess they agreed,” I say, leaving out the part that Garret didn’t have a choice. That he was ordered to take me in. It doesn’t matter, though. Nothing could have changed it. No one goes against the Order.
And yet . . . I wonder if Garret’s behavior is out of obligation. Or pity.
The bar grows louder as more people filter in, the air thick with laughter and the clinking of glasses. The sharp crack of a pool cue against the ball pulls my attention. My chest tightens when I spot a group of guys from the swim team—including Luke.
But Garret is nowhere to be found.
I check my phone. No text. Not that I expected one. He told me not to wait up for him after class.
“Do you know them?” Amy asks, pulling me out of my head.
Luke smiles just as I reply, “No.”
“Aren’t they on the swim team with your boy?”
I hesitate, then nod. “Yes, but he’s not my boy.”
Amy tilts her head playfully. “He’s not your brother either. You’re not related by any means. You didn’t grow up together, right?”
“You sound like Garret. He says that all the time.”
Her lips curl. “That means he likes you.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “He might screw anything that moves, but liking me? Not a chance.”
Still, I keep checking my phone, hoping I didn’t miss a message. Where did he go?
There wasn’t any swim practice today.
Last Sunday, he told me to take an Uber home and gave me the code to his house. Why? He was never this lenient before. He always had specific instructions—when to leave, when to arrive, when to wait. Now, suddenly, he trusts me?
Maybe it’s nothing. Or maybe it’s everything.
I can’t stop the dream from creeping back into my mind.
Melody, a knife in her grip, stabbing wildly—but not at me. It was Melissa at the church.
Then another dream.
John.
I’m trapped in a dark room, my body frozen, terror rooting me in place. But then—there’s someone else. A man in a mask. He saves me. But I don’t know who he is.
“Where do you think he is?”
Amy’s voice snaps me back.
“What do you mean?” I ask, though I know exactly who she’s referring to.
A knowing gleam dances in her eyes. “You know who I’m talking about.”
Before I can respond, a voice cuts through the din.
“Hey, ladies.”
I glance up, and my stomach drops.
Luke.
Amy throws me a look—one that says, Why is he talking to you?
“Amy, this is Luke. Luke, this is Amy,” I introduce half-heartedly.
Amy offers a weak smile, unsure how to react.
Luke barely acknowledges her before turning his attention to me. “I haven’t seen you at lunch in a few days. You didn’t answer my call about our date.”
Amy arches a brow.
“I wanted to see if everything was okay,” he adds.
I force a smile. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot Amy had asked me out first, so?—”
“That’s okay,” he interrupts, but there’s something off. A flicker of unease. His eyes keep darting toward the entrance.
I cross my arms. “I figured you’d understand. That’s why I didn’t bother to call. I’m sure there are plenty of other girls you’ve asked to come along.”
I don’t like how hard he’s trying. I haven’t given him a reason to pursue me, not even the slightest hint of interest.
Luke shifts awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. Silence stretches between us.
“I’ve heard you’ve been hanging around Garret,” he finally says, rubbing the back of his neck.
My pulse spikes at the sound of his name. “Where did you hear that?” My voice is steady, but inside, I’m unraveling.
“I saw you two leaving after practice. It’s been happening for a couple of weeks now.”
Has he been watching me? Does he know John? Do the others know?
“Stalking is a crime, you know,” Amy interjects, unimpressed.
Luke smirks. “It’s not like I don’t have eyes. Besides, everyone knows where Garret is—on campus and off.”
Amy leans forward. “Oh yeah? Where is he now?”
I could kiss her for the way she asks it—like she doesn’t give a damn, but like she knows I do.
Luke hesitates before shrugging. “I think he’s with Cassie. They’re off and on. You know how it is. Garret doesn’t take anyone seriously.”
A slow burn ignites in my chest, spreading like wildfire.
I don’t respond. I just stare at my beer, willing the words away. But they settle in my bones.
Garret. Cassie. Of course.
Amy touches my arm gently, but I don’t meet her gaze.
I feel sick.
That night—the way he touched me, kissed me, made me feel wanted—it meant nothing.
And I was stupid to think otherwise.
When you’ve been shown cruelty your whole life, you cling to anything that feels different. Anything that makes you feel human.
I check the time on my phone, my fingers tightening around the device. I should throw it across the room. Should erase the reminder of him.
But I can’t. Because when you’re desperate, when you have nothing, you don’t let pride get in the way. It doesn’t matter how much it hurts. Or who it came from. It’s survival.
“It’s getting late,” I announce, glancing at Amy.
She understands instantly. “Yeah, we have a paper to work on,” she lies, pushing out of the booth.
Luke gives me space to stand. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Oh, sure,” I murmur, my smile barely there.
We slip out the back exit, away from prying eyes. The night air is cool, thick with the scent of damp earth. Streetlights flicker, casting long shadows against the pavement.
A car door slams. I freeze. Laughter A voice. His voice.
Cassie walks ahead of Garret, her heels clicking against the wet pavement.
Amy must sense my hesitation, my urge to disappear. We stay hidden, watching as they round the building toward the entrance.
Garret isn’t wearing the same clothes he had on this morning. Luke was right. He was with her. And that’s why he told me not to wait.
A bitter taste fills my mouth. “Can I stay with you tonight?” I whisper, my voice barely there.
Amy doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, of course.”
Garret doesn’t owe me an explanation. We are nothing. But I can’t face him tonight. Not after this. Not after realizing how foolish I’ve been.
I had one night. One fleeting moment where I let myself dream of something different.
He said my name like it was something precious.
He said I smelled like flowers.
He said I was beautiful.