Escape to the Country

Chapter 1

1

Anticipation and nervous energy were making me feel sick to the stomach right now. I was trying to hold it all together while I pottered around the kitchen at work, laying out cups and saucers and a plate of chocolate biscuits ready for the meeting.

It was soooo exciting. I’d been like a cat on a hot tin roof all weekend. Instead of making the most of the gorgeous July weather, I’d been inside brushing up on my presentation skills and making sure I could go in there and promote my backside off.

There’d been so much talk around the office for the last couple of weeks. There was definitely something big going down. I’d worked for Ronington’s PR and Marketing for twelve years and I could tell there was something on the cards because of all the secrecy that had been going on. There had been lots of meetings recently with the accountants and solicitors and, before she left the office on Friday lunchtime, Celine, the managing director, said she wanted to see me first thing on Monday. Celine was my idol. She was elegant, dramatic, stunning and just amazing. She took no crap from anyone. She was a badass. If I could have been anyone in life, I’d wanted to be her.

Everyone in the office had heard what she’d said to me.

‘First thing Monday morning, Madison, I need to see you. It’s very important.’

They’d all been saying that it was my time; that after all these years, the company had recognised my hard work and commitment. All the early mornings and late nights were going to finally pay off. All those miles of driving my company car up and down the country meeting clients. All the times I’d had to cancel going along to things that my friends were going to, the times I’d had to cancel seeing my mum because I’d had to work. The arrangements I’d had to cancel. The relationships I’d jeopardised. They were all heading to this exact place and time. This was what it was all for!

It was my time.

Melissa, the MD’s operations director and right-hand woman who had worked at the company for about a million years, was about to go on maternity leave. Everyone had been buzzing around me, saying that there was absolutely no shadow of a doubt that I’d be formally promoted from my role as senior sales executive to operations director. After all, I’d been practically doing the job for the last couple of years, working alongside her. I was pretty damn sure I was going to be made a director.

I was so ready for this; so ready to fill her boots and make that job mine. It was what I’d always dreamed of and I’d been thinking about it all weekend. On Saturday I’d bought myself a new promotion-worthy power suit. I had a ton of other work suits, but for this meeting today I wanted something special so I opted for a navy-blue trouser suit and a light flowery camisole top to soften the look. I’d had my highlights touched up and nails polished this weekend, and if I said so myself, with my hair scraped back in a tight bun, bright red lippy for a bit of extra confidence and a pair of red high heels to finish it off, I looked immaculate.

Even though I was feeling apprehensive, I wasn’t going to let anyone see that. I’d built up a persona over the years of being really cool, calm and ultra professional, and I’d never let the people I work with think anything else. I put on a bloody good show, I can tell you. Inside, there were times when I was totally lacking in confidence, my nerves in tatters, and I’d be shaking like a leaf, but I would never let on to anyone – I didn’t let people get close enough to me.

I just wanted to show Celine that I was the perfect person to take the company forward and ensure it ran smoothly and efficiently.

* * *

I was in a world of my own while making the tea and I thought about the lady I saw every morning, when I drank my first coffee of the day while overlooking the lake from my lounge window. I wasn’t sure why she’d just popped into my mind. She fascinated me, and I wondered about her life. She always looked glamorous, immaculately dressed even when walking her dog, and she ambled along in a leisurely way as if she had not a care in the world. So very different to me. I might have looked like I was in control, but most of the time I felt completely stressed out, always someone to call, to email or to have a meeting with. Today she was meandering along in flowery navy Joules wellies (that looked like they’d never been through a puddle in their life), figure-hugging jeans, a cashmere jumper (which she seemed to have in a million different colours – today’s was powder-blue) and what looked like a Gucci scarf tied air-hostess-style around her slim neck, and a fake fur gilet (at least I hoped it was fake!). I wished I was less stressed. I loved my job completely but it was so full on. This promotion should have meant a more office-based role, so I could cut down on the travelling. That should definitely take away some of the pressure I seemed to currently work under.

You never knew what went on in someone’s life, did you? I wondered how she filled her day. Did she work? If she did, what job did she do? If she didn’t, what did she do with herself all day? Did she have children? Grandchildren, even? Did she have a husband? A lover? What was her story? I was totally intrigued by her.

Watching them walking together, her dog tucked closely into her leg, tugged at my heartstrings, and they were still preying on my mind now; the way he looked up at her from time to time for her approval and the way she smiled back at him, chattering away to him. He sat for a treat along the way and she laughed and said something to him before she handed him one. I wondered now what she’d said. They seemed to have a really special relationship and there was a tiny bit of me that was a tad envious. The connection they had made me yearn for a dog. I’d always wanted one but it had never been the right time.

I’d have loved a true companion to share my life with. Someone to go home to at night after a hard day, to babble away to and who loved you unconditionally. Someone who didn’t care if you a had a spot on your chin, or if you were in your jimjams, or didn’t have your lippy on. Most people would have said that should be a person, but after what happened with Jamie, I thought I’d be better off with a dog than a human. However, with all the white furnishings in my apartment, I didn’t suppose my landlord would even consider me having a dog, and with my hectic career, it wouldn’t have been fair on a dog either. It was too much of a commitment right now, especially as this promotion was in the bag, so I’d parked the idea for way into the future.

* * *

The kettle boiled, breaking me from my daydream. I poured the water over the teabags in the pot and took a deep breath before picking up the tray and making my way across the main office, trying to balance everything as I knocked on the door to Celine’s office and opened the door with my hip. She was the first one in the office every morning. Goodness knew what time she got up but I knew she didn’t see her kids before she came to work as she was in the office by 7a.m. every day and it took her an hour to get here. They must have been in bed before she got home at the other end of the day too, as she was normally the last one in the office apart from on a Friday when she finished at two. It must have been great to have a live-in nanny, but surely her children must have spent more time with her than they did with their parents.

I gulped and felt melancholy as I thought that if I was ever lucky enough to have children, that wasn’t the way I’d want to bring them up. I’d want to be the one who walked their children to school, holding hands and chattering as we walked up the street. Couldn’t think about that right now, though. And the hours that she kept wouldn’t bother me. For the last few years, it wasn’t as if I’d had anyone waiting at home for me, even though it might have been nice if there was, so perhaps it would have taken some of the pressure off her a little too. It was just a great solution for everyone.

Celine looked up from her desk as I walked in, and I noticed that a frown crossed her brow then disappeared as quickly as it arrived, before she stood to greet me with what appeared to be a nervous smile, not her normal cheery composure. Perhaps she’d had a bad night’s sleep.

‘Madison, dahling, good morning. Come, come. Let me take that tray from you.’

She placed the tray on the coffee table and invited me to sit while she poured the tea.

‘Madison, you’ve worked here now for many, many years?’ She sat on the sofa directly opposite me and sipped her tea.

‘Just over twelve actually, Celine.’

‘Wow, doesn’t time fly.’ She smiled at me and I realised that she was beginning to look old, with the start of wrinkles around her eyes and frown lines that I hadn’t noticed before. ‘You’ve shown such a sterling commitment to the company over the years and we couldn’t have asked for a better ambassador for the business. You’ve brought in millions of pounds of revenue over that time.’

I smiled at her, so happy that she’d recognised everything I’d been working towards.

‘You’ve also been one of the most loyal members of staff we’ve ever had. People have come and gone over the years, yet you’ve remained here by my side, doing a job that is incredibly important to the company and to me personally and going over and above what was asked of you, taking on any task you were asked to do.’

‘Thank you so much, Celine. Working here is not just a job to me, it’s my way of life. I love it here.’ I felt a million dollars, so proud of her words and so glad that she understood how hard I had worked over the years and that she was finally recognising it.

At that exact point, her mobile phone rang and she excused herself as she moved over to the window and explained briefly in hushed tones, that I could only just hear, to someone that she couldn’t talk now, as she was in a very important meeting. That was me! She was in a very important meeting with me ! I couldn’t have been more pleased. I grinned from ear to ear.

I looked across at the other desk in the room where Melissa had sat before she’d left on Friday and imagined placing my new gorgeous planner there. I could put my pen pot on the right-hand side of the desk, and my rack of trays on the left.

Celine came back to the couch, sighed deeply and breathed in. ‘I’m so sorry Madison, but I’m going to have to let you go.’

I smiled. ‘Oh OK, no problem. Shall I come back in a little while when you are less busy? How long do you think you’ll need?’ I was disappointed of course, but it could wait until later. This was way too important to not make the most of.

‘Madison.’ She sighed loudly. ‘I’m not sure you understand me. There are lots of changes taking place, and with the boom in the online marketplace, the company isn’t doing anywhere near as well as it used to. There’s no easy way to say this. I’m going to have to let you go. I have to make you and some of the other staff redundant. I’m so very sorry and it breaks my heart to do this to you but I have no other option. Either I make a few people redundant or we close completely. We’re so sorry but we have to do this to give the business one last chance.’

Time stood still as I looked at her in disbelief.

‘Let me go? Make me redundant?’ I questioned. Was I hearing her correctly? Numbness set into my body. I couldn’t move.

‘Yes, dear, that’s right. I really am sorry. It’s not what I wanted but we’ve explored every option. The HR department will be in touch with you and I think you’ll find that we’ve been most generous with your redundancy payout to show our thanks for your support over the years. I’m so sorry, Madison, but I have no alternative. As you know, we’ve had accountants and solicitors in over the last few weeks and we really have explored every option, but there is nothing else we can do.’

A tear plopped into the cup of tea I was holding and my hands began to shake.

‘Now now, dahling, please don’t cry. Let’s not make this any worse than it already is.’ She came across, took the cup from me and placed it on the table. Putting her arm around my shoulders, she tried to comfort me.

‘Sometimes these things work out for the best. You’ll have enough money to see you through for a good few months, while you look around. And you will find something else, something wonderful – just like you – and I shall give you a personal glowing reference. And if ever I need a right-hand woman in the future, you’re the first person I’ll call. I promise you that.’

She stood to indicate that our chat had come to an end and steered me towards the door. ‘I think that under the circumstances, you should just pack up your things and leave now, before the others come into work and you have to face them. Less upsetting for everyone. I’ll leave you to gather your things together. There should be a letter in the next day or so from the HR department, detailing your settlement. Your company car will need to be returned at the end of the month and if you could leave your company mobile phone on your desk, that would be good. I really am so sorry, Madison. I wish things could have been different.’ Her voice broke and the strain on her face told me that this was hard for her too. ‘Goodbye and thank you for everything. Good luck for the future.’ She leaned into me and pecked my cheek nervously, blinking away tears before walking back to her desk.

And just like that, after twelve years of working at Ronington’s PR and Marketing, I was dismissed.

* * *

In a daze, I stumbled to the kitchen and found an empty box and took it over to my desk. I packed away the mug that I had used every day for the last two years; the mug I was presented with, along with an engraved paperweight and an Amazon voucher, on my ten-year anniversary of working here. I packed away my pens and my note pads, my calculator and my ruler. I opened my desk and removed the emergency pair of natural-coloured tights and the headache tablets that I always had close at hand in case anyone needed them. The packet soups and the bars of chocolate that I kept handy for the late-night shifts got thrown into the box. There was nothing left. That was it. My drawers and my desk were empty.

Twelve years of hard work, dedication and a working life were packed away in a small box within a minute or two at the most. I did a small calculation in my head and worked out that I’d spent more time here in this office than I had at home awake. How very sad was that! I was officially redundant. I didn’t have a job. My job was my life. What was I going to do? And more than that, what would people think? I’d told so many people that I had the best job and the best life, and that I was going to get promoted. They’d all be laughing at me now. My heart started to pound. I couldn’t let it happen again. I couldn’t go back to the point I’d been at before. My breathing started to become erratic and my head was banging. I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

Trying to remember all the mechanisms that I’d been taught to cope with this feeling, I tried to stay focused and leave the office by the stairs, to avoid bumping into anyone when I was coming out of the lift. I went through reception and out of the revolving doors, looking back only once. I walked around the corner from the entrance and took a seat on a nearby wall and started to inhale slowly and deeply through my nose, imagining my lungs filling with good air. Then I breathed out through my mouth, pushing all the bad thoughts away. I closed my eyes and concentrated on nothing else but my breathing until eventually it started to steady and I felt better, calmer, more grounded. Stumbling a little but taking it really slowly, I made my way over to the car park, where my black Mercedes C Class, my pride and joy, awaited me. As I sank into the driver’s seat, I leant back into the headrest and did those breathing exercises. And I made my way home.